Top 5 with Lisa Foiles: Top 5 Shadiest Merchants in Video Games

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Top 5 Shadiest Merchants in Video Games

It's Tax Day in the US of A, and Lisa Foiles lists off the 5 creepiest businessmen (and women) in video games.

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How about the Smuggler from the Ratchet & Clank series? First introduced in Tools of Destruction, then going on to appear in Quest for Booty, A Crack in Time, and Nexus. There's also Slim Cognito from Ratchet and Clank 2 and 3.

Lisa, for once I'm going to comment on your video without actually seeing it. I'd like to thank you for including the salesman from Majora's Mask, and the merchant from Resident Evil 4. Very good taste there. Now I'm going to go watch your video, and be proven right. I'm not even considering the possibility of having to go back to this post to edit it.

The old man from Symphony of the Night and Vulgrim from Darksiders are pretty shady, or at least creepy.

I hate to be that guy Lisa, but the fairy in Majora's Mask is Tatl not Navi....I have become that guy

Calling Tom Nook as #1 before I watch it.

Will come back and comment after if I'm wrong.

Also possibly funny-faced Ocarina of Time shopkeep dude.

After watching:

Majora's Mask Mask Guy. Close enough.

Least I got 2/5. Go me.

Naw, your depiction of paying taxes is pretty spot-on from a figurative standpoint.

While I agree that Stan should be in first place I think Slim Cognito from Ratchet and Clank should be on there somewhere. You never even see the dude's face, just his eyes. And a weapon as powerfull as the plasmer coil, no whay did he get that legaly.

I'm just wondering, if you're 'celebrating' Tax Day, shouldn't the focus be on government thugs in games? Or thieves? Because that's a hell of a lot closer to the IRS than a merchant.

This list made me think of Vulgrim from darksiders. Little bugger kept me waiting to get stabbed in the back the whole damn time and then by the end you just feel like he got what he wanted anyways. I actually liked those games. Not perfect but they were heading in a good direction. It sucks the franchise is pretty much dead.

I love Stan. His inter-dimensional jacket is just so mesmerising, you can't possibly say no to buying whatever he's selling!

For it has to be every single merchant in Dark Souls. Most of them creepy laugh at the end of the conversation. One of them openly admits to getting their merchandise off dead people whilst earnestly state they look forward to looting you, whilst another actively kicks you down a deep hole in the hope of doing the same.

This is the first of her videos I watched. I saw the title, instantly thought "Happy Mask Salesman" and was too curious to not check. You did not disappoint :)

May have to check out your other vids now...

Both Lisa Foiles and Caddicarus have done lists on merchants in gaming and both talked about Resident Evil 4.

However, neither of them mentioned what is the shadiest part of the RE4 merchant.
The fact that his eyes change colour over the course of the game!

I believe the transformation takes place either immediately before or after Salazar. His eyes go from normal to blood red. Like he's been infected with Las Plagas or something. This often missed transformation makes an already shady merchant, even more mysterious.

Aww man Lisa! Missed it by a mile!

Come on, Bioshock vending machines were creepy as all f*ck! Clowns man...clowns...

Welcome to the Circus of Values!

For some reason I never reacted to how wierd the salesman from RE4 was on my first playthrough.
I just kinda accepted him as an obvious part of the setting.
It was probably because he reminded me of that guy who sold me guns when I had to take revenge on that biker gang.

Good list, but I agree with the people here in the thread too, especially Dark Souls. Those guys are shady as hell.
Although Slim's pretty bad (by which I mean awesome) too.

I'd have put Clyde from South Park: the Stick of Truth in there somewhere. "Would you like to pay two dollars to hear hints and secrets?" Fuck you, Clyde.

Solid list, though.

STAAAAAN <3
Great list! But Moneybags is not a merchant. He's just a plain old extortionist.

OK there are two that have been missed.

1. Marcus from Borderlands. - He is an arms dealer that is introduced in the second game, killing a man with the title "No Refunds".
2. Wirt from the First Diablo. I just got the feeling the kid was shafting me every time I went out the back of the village. I half expected to have some one arresting me for any number of crimes that the kid was going to set me up with.

I have a fondness for the approach Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction took to selling you stuff: The Russian Mafia has a website called The Merchant of Menace, which your character can access with their PDA, and from there you could purchase other factions' vehicles, air/missile strikes, and weapon crates! they even deliver them right to you by helicopter. The neat thing is that how much you pay depends on the Russian Mafia's mood towards you: Friendly gives a discount, Neutral is sticker price, Unfriendly has markup, and Hostile won't sell you jack unless you make a hefty "donation".

The fairy in Majora's Mask is Tatl not Navi, just sayin.

The first thing I thought of was the RE4 dealer. One of the creepiest guy ever.

And I haven't played MI but the examples in this video reminded me of this scene, starting 1:25:

Great episode - despite not having played most of these games, the delivery really made me laugh :)

I can forgive such a simple misgiving as calling Tatl Navi... What I cannot forgive is the crushing sense of loneliness and despair I felt as soon as Navi's name was uttered :( :(

She's never coming back... -.-

Yes! The very moment I saw the title, his jolly tune entered my head!

Totally agree with Stan, one of the best characters ever.

How about Mudcrab? Maybe not the shadiest but certainly one of the strangest, or rather one of the most unexpected merchants ever.

You're so awesome. So right about so many of them, but I never noticed Stan like that. Now that you've pointed it out, I think you're right. He's almost more maleable a force of evil than Cartman from South Park. How curious :) If the list went to ten, I think the librarian from Symphony of the Night is a fair addition. After all, he "turns on" Dracula to help you... sort of.

lol, i think im really the only one who thinks that RE4 is not the best RE in my view. even do i enjoy the HD version a lot that im nearly finished with my third playthrough.
but yes, that merchant is creepy but amusing at the same time that just flipping through his stuff just to hear him say something is already worth going to him.

but yes, stan is sure the best of them all. always amusing what a backstabbing guy he is. just had to laugh when he measured guybrush behind him.

If we're going to do Diablo characters, I'd put Gheed over Wirt.

Damn that man, lost so much gold purchasing random crap from him.

tax system in US is fucked up. here in order to pay taxes there are two people that has to happen: your employer needs to pay taxes or it will get assraped by the tax agency, you need to check (on the internet) that the info tax agency has is correct (it always is for me at least) and submit it for them. it took me a total of 5 minutes to pay my taxes, and i paid nothing extra. thats how tax systems should work.

Strazdas:
Here, in order to pay taxes there are two things that have to happen: your employer needs to pay taxes or it will get assraped by the tax agency, and you need to check (on the internet) that the info tax agency has it correct (it always is for me, at least) and submit it for them.

Neat. Where's "here?"

I assume the lack of Kevin is due to his being on vacation in Arruba.

Fatheadicus:
OK there are two that have been missed.

1. Marcus from Borderlands. - He is an arms dealer that is introduced in the second game, killing a man with the title "No Refunds".

Marcus only winged the guy, remember you can't sell guns to dead people!

Him and Doctor Zed's vending machines were pretty cool ways of getting around the whole 'shop owner in the middle of nowhere' issue some games have.

"Who needs a medical license when you got style?"

Wait,Domhnall of Zena,or the Undead Merchant in the Burg didn't make it on this list? Okay,sure...

JimB:

Strazdas:
Here, in order to pay taxes there are two things that have to happen: your employer needs to pay taxes or it will get assraped by the tax agency, and you need to check (on the internet) that the info tax agency has it correct (it always is for me, at least) and submit it for them.

Neat. Where's "here?"

that would be Lithuania (can also be found out if you looked at my profile). our politics are not perfect by any means, but at least person taxation is done in a way that does not bring a lot of cumbersome problems for the people. Id say taxation is done quite efficiently in Lithuania, if only the tax money went somewhere else but to support ever growing courts of our politicians (they are often tried for variuos crimes) that would be great.

DoctorImpossible:
I assume the lack of Kevin is due to his being on vacation in Arruba.

Maybe Kevin is late on his taxes and was busy filing them?

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