Movie Defense Force: Dungeons & Dragons - Jeremy Irons Says NYANANANANA!

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Dungeons & Dragons - Jeremy Irons Says NYANANANANA!

Also, Bruce Payne wrote his own Wikipedia article. Definitely.

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Tom Baker's role sounds like comedy gold. You should see what he did for Symphony, though.

Oh well, at least it's got Jeremy Irons in.[1]

[1] The same can be said for Eragon, but shhhh, don't mention Eragon.

YES, YES! YESS!!!

Finally someone finally understands that Jeremy Irons chewing the scenery with such fervor is worth every cent that you spend on this movie.

That name's made up right?
Because Bruce Payne sounds like Batman with an S&M fetish.

Another string to this masterpiece's bow is the tall Dwarf with the ill-fitting red nylon beard who isn't the shortest member of the party.

Still, Jim nailed everything else that makes this film brilliant, from Jeremy Irons' inspired choice of behaviour (because it's not like he can't act when he wants to), the epic Crystal Maze tribute hosted by Richard O'Brien and Tom Baker, who is always brilliant, even when stumbling through the role of an improbably big and ungraceful Elf.

I also think this is the film that inspired Dragon Brain, the GTA universe's film about poor acting, bad faux-Medieval dialogue and upside down flying CGI dragons. Every time I hear a Dragon Brain reference or advert in GTA, the image of Jeremy Irons hamming it up surrounded by flying CGI dragons flashes through my mind.

I still think that The Gamers: Dorkness Rising is the best D&D film ever made.

I'd watch Jeremy Irons read the phone book. That guy is a slice of fried gold.

I was unfortunate enough to sit down with this movie a few years ago. It is completely unwatchable dreck.

Uh, Jeremy's... iron?

Mmm hmm, well, that's very good... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?

I think most of Jeremy Irons post-2000 career can be explained by him being grumpy at not being cast in Lord of the Rings.

As much as I loved Jeremy Irons insane performance, there was too much terrible about this movie to recommend it.

Fortunately you can (and should) find most of Mr. Irons' scenes on Youtube, so go pour yourself a girly beer and go enjoy watching Jeremy Irons pulling a Malcolm McDowell.

someone needs to gif that last bit, i want it.

no,

I NEED it!

Jeremy Irons must have been really hungry while filming on that set... because he chewed ALL the scenery in that movie.

He is to Dungeons & Dragons what Raul Julia is to M. Bison in Street Fighter.

Fun fact: Jeremy Irons' alignment in D&D is "Jeremy Irons."

I saw this in theaters with my gaming group and we all thoroughly enjoyed it for reasons that had very little to do with the actual game. We were hoping for a sequel that cranked it up a notch, too. Well, most of us.

Blunderboy:
That name's made up right?
Because Bruce Payne sounds like Batman with an S&M fetish.

Or a porn name.

...Which would probably be light S&M.

Trishbot:
Jeremy Irons must have been really hungry while filming on that set... because he chewed ALL the scenery in that movie.

He is to Dungeons & Dragons what Raul Julia is to M. Bison in Street Fighter.

No no no...I love Raul, but this is far more magnificent.

Zachary Amaranth:

Trishbot:
Jeremy Irons must have been really hungry while filming on that set... because he chewed ALL the scenery in that movie.

He is to Dungeons & Dragons what Raul Julia is to M. Bison in Street Fighter.

No no no...I love Raul, but this is far more magnificent.

As much as I would love to just graciously bow and walk away, I just can't.

Two words: "Like LIGHTNING!!!!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBc7yQXrP9c

I WISH this film had of been about Jeremy Irons and Bruce Payne, did we really need any of the other cast members?

If this film had of just been about two gay wizards trying to usurp the Queen it would have been the greatest fantasy movie ever.

No mention of the scene where Snails dies? I remember watching this movie at a convention and when that scene happened everyone gave it a standing ovation.

Ha! Jim, crying from laughing over here. This episode was great. I was wondering if you'd ever get around to this movie. I always thought it was just so...bizarre and hilarious. Jeremy Irons is worth the price of admission for sure. Thank God for you brohiem.

I'm not sure this taunt equates to any kind of defence Jim. Maybe an argument for "so bad it's good" but still guilty as charged.
Jeremy Irons is legendary here though, he takes overacting from ludicrous speed to INFINITY and BEYOND which have a tendency to break lesser minds. NYANANANAAAA!

Team Hollywood:
Dungeons & Dragons - Jeremy Irons Says NYANANANANA!

Also, Bruce Payne wrote his own Wikipedia article. Definitely.

Watch Video

As has been said by everyone AND their mother, this movie is bad; badly written, badly acted, badly directed, badly everything... but Jeremy Irons and Bruce Payne trying to compete in who can give the best worst performance is so unbelieveably golden, it easily justifies watching the movie.

Alas, if you want a good D&D movie, the best I can give you is that magnificent, epic two-parter; Counter Monkey: Don't Interrupt the DM and Counter Monkey: The Chicago Way.


I remember this movie. It's worth watching just for Jeremy Irons.

evilnancyreagan:
someone needs to gif that last bit, i want it.

no,

I NEED it!

I foresee a whole new wave of meme images spawning from it

You know, Jim, there are other movies that are absolutely hated without reason that deserve far better.

The Wachowskis' Speed Racer movie, for starts.

You don't have to explore the bottom of the barrel already.

Awwwww, I was hoping you wouldn't play the "every ounce of your rage" clip in the review because I wanted to post it here. Truly, that line alone makes this one of the greatest movie of all time. I mean what the hell is with that "Hah-tititititititi" thing he does? IT'S PRICELESS!

When I saw this movie for the first (and only) time, I remember thinking; I wish Snails would die and the Elf chick sure does have a breastplate.

How is Jeremy Irons not in the Marvel Universe yet?

Or better yet, Jeremy Irons takes over for Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker/Spiderman.

Totally wrong there Jim, this is easily the worst movie ever. The acting is so bad my brain decided to walk out by itself 5 minutes in.

There were three movies I saw in the theatres in my university days that I distinctly remember; this was one of them. A bunch of us went to see it in the theatre on opening night and the place was packed with geeks and nerds and gamers and all manner of people in that venn diagram. About 5 minutes in we started MST3K'ing it ... as an audience. It was glorious. It was magical. It was one of the best times I've ever had at a movie. And because the movie was so terrible that the audience decided the best way to enjoy it was to laugh at it.

Glorious.

(the other two were South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, where a friend of mine and I went to see it on Christmas day and the cashier thought we were Jewish, and Universal Soldier: The Return which there were 6 people in the theatre for, on opening day, and a different friend and I did MST3K by ourselves... and no one complained.)

My favorite part of the film: the deleted scenes from the DVD included:
- the dwarf character's name
- the main character's primary motivation
- a good chunk of setting history

You know, The usual sort of thing you'll leave on the cutting room floor.

The sequel to this film is remarkably good, especially for gamers. It feels like a full D&D game put to film, including characters *discussing monster stats*, explicitly calling out their magic items by generic name, and completely f*cking the plot over.

I saw this train wreck in theatre and the only time I knew the pain lessened was when the credits rolled. Jim, I congratulate you for trying to put a good face on it but no, even as a comedy this movie is awful.

Tono Makt:
About 5 minutes in we started MST3K'ing it ... as an audience. It was glorious. It was magical. It was one of the best times I've ever had at a movie. And because the movie was so terrible that the audience decided the best way to enjoy it was to laugh at it.

Glorious.

Dear heavens and hells, I was in the wrong place. Tono, I bow to the combined awesome of your theatre crowd.

PunkRex:

If this film had of just been about two gay wizards trying to usurp the Queen it would have been the greatest fantasy movie ever.

I don't care about anything else involved, if I ever see a trailer for a movie like that I am going to see it.

The bit at the end where the subtitle says "He's trying to act..." Then it quickly cuts to Jeremy Irons. At that point it should say "HE isn't... and it's glorious..."

"Movie Defense Force ...if you've come to laugh at bad films, then my friend, you're out of luck..."
Jez, Jim, after this and Silent Hill Revelations, you might want to change your intro.

Normally I enjoy these episodes just because they show me new odd movies, but that guys Wikipedia page had my laughing more than I have in a long while. It really has paragraphs and paragraphs of explanations. I do wonder if he really did write all that, or if maybe there is a person on the Wikipedia writing team that just loves this Bruce Payne?

Either way, this was a very entertaining to watch at 1:00 am after I had just beaten Bioshock Infinite for the first time. Kind of like the time I watch Citizen Kane for the first time then stumbled upon a video of Orson Welles doing a commercial for frozen peas.

All I remember from this movie were the ridiculously bad cg and one cute girl, who's not even on the poster.

HjelsYells:
I was unfortunate enough to sit down with this movie a few years ago. It is completely unwatchable dreck.

Oh, come on! That's just untrue. It's totally watchable dreck!

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