Movie Defense Force: BloodRayne - Meatloaf Is A Vampire In It

BloodRayne - Meatloaf Is A Vampire In It

Only Uwe Boll is brave enough to ask the hard questions!

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This video made me desire more rambling, hungover, barely invested British men.

This is a feeling I did not think I would have when I awoke this morning.

Yesterday I was all "Where is MDF?? Did Jim get drunk and forget to do it?"

Today I'm all "Oh Jim got drunk and forgot to do it."

I forgive Jim though, because even though has wasn't in "Ghandi", he wasn't in "BloodRayne" either, and in in the end, isn't that enough?

Thank god for Jim. Even when he just bunts the ball rather than swing for it, he still makes me crack a smile.

... Bob did two escape to the movies today?

This video was rambling, confusing, nonsensical, and very, very strange.

And I couldn't stop laughing at it. Thank God for Jim.

Sir Thomas Sean Connery:
This video made me desire more rambling, hungover, barely invested British men.

This is a feeling I did not think I would have when I awoke this morning.

you might wanna consider jims youtube channel. there is a play through of outlast whee he is dunk like 2/3 of the time and will not stop talking. it's funny.

Well, at least that made more sense than the average Uwe Boll film.

loved those Dean Cain cameos

Best Movie Defense Force Yet. You have the logic of a philosopher and the insight of a prophet. Well done. Now take two advil and go to bed you've earned it.

*Sigh* If Uwe was more secure and less Uwe Boll, he could have made a truly memorable camp experience, an unapologetic over-the-top burlesque/grindhouse experience in the same vein as From Dusk to Dawn and that Joss Whedon series where the American government makes a cyborg super soldier out of demon parts and Boy Scouts and has to fight a high school girl.

If only.

I didn't get it.

But anyway BR wasn't that bad. In fact I actually liked Far Cry and BR. Not saying they were good for anything, but I didn't want to gouge my eyes out or even turn the movies off. There was certain promise there.

Even though Boll has little to no talent as a director, from (some of) his movies I get the feeling he really tries. He likes what he's doing, it's probably a kid's dream for him and he tries. He's not good, but I still appreciate it. It's the opposite of movies which have top-notch presentation but are more of an insult to intelligence (such as Man of Steel, IMHO).

And if anything, Rampage showed he can really do something good and unique after he fails and picks up enough times. I intend to check out Tunnel Rats and Postal someday.

I have a strange relationship with Uwe Boll movies. I would never claim any of them are of high or even good quality. More often than not they contain shallow writing, dry, uninspired performances and poor casting choices but for some reason I genuinely enjoy about half of the films he makes. They have a charm in their mediocrity, like Boll genuinely wants to make a decent movie but just isn't up to the task. It's like there is the seed of a good movie in there that is just below the surface and if you look hard enough you can see what Boll was attempting to achieve. I appreciate the effort, if not the execution. Also, Boll himself is an interesting person and if you haven't yet, you should really look up the interview Graham Stark did with him on the Loading Ready Run webpage.

Of course none of this applies to Postal, which was pure brilliance and is Boll's Magnum Opus as far as I'm concerned.

EDIT: Fixed a typo.

So Movie Defense Force has become The Movie Show What I've Done? I'm okay with that.

the only good thing in this entire movie her showing her boobs, buts thats it. movie still sucks in every way and just cant agree that it needs defending. but well, everyone has their opinions.

This is the Air Control of videos, its poorly made and the creator did not give a shit, but its still makes me laugh.

I actually thought that you had stopped with the joke episodes when you did a serious episode about Hulk, one of my personal favorite comic book movies. I hate these joke episodes because your mission statement for this show was to genuinely defend unfairly maligned or misunderstood films.

Seriously, Jim, live-action Speed Racer. It's PERFECT for a legitimate defense.

teebeeohh:

Sir Thomas Sean Connery:
This video made me desire more rambling, hungover, barely invested British men.

This is a feeling I did not think I would have when I awoke this morning.

you might wanna consider jims youtube channel. there is a play through of outlast whee he is dunk like 2/3 of the time and will not stop talking. it's funny.

Oh man, I need to look that one up tonight. There's an episode of Jims' podcast, the Dismal Jesters, were he was on painkillers prescribed by his dentist after surgery and it's one of my favorites. The ups and downs of a semi intoxicated Jim rant are very funny to listen to.

Truly, the hard questions of is money something that will let you tell a guy who was in Ghandi what to do if you gave it to him is a thing.

Hah, I kept hearing the "TROLOLOLOLO" song while this episode ran. Never did make it to the end of this atrocious movie.

Strange thing though...In the Name of the King 2 (riffing on Two Worlds), starring Dolph Lundgren, was actually watchable. I'd put it on par with one of the better Sci-Fi Channel direct to DVD movies.

That was worth a laugh, but if Jim is looking to do another serious Uwe Boll defense episode he should tackle Alone In The Dark. That film is actually half watchable, and gets major points from me for the premise if nothing else.

Meatloaf was the best part of this movie.

Uwe Boll also subscribes to the same theory of making shit up at the last minute.

Between this and Double Dragon... if you're not going to take this show seriously, why should we?

leviadragon99:
Between this and Double Dragon... if you're not going to take this show seriously, why should we?

How seriously do you take any show on the internet?

Amasing what one can do over the phone these days.

I can't think of a single word you mentioned defending this movie, but I do weirdly want to watch it now so yeah, good show sir.

Kameburger:
I can't think of a single word you mentioned defending this movie, but I do weirdly want to watch it now so yeah, good show sir.

Yeah, see, that would be the bit about Kristanna Loken's bre... hey, isn't that Nathan Fillion on top of her? Him or his doppelganger anyways.

But in all seriousness, I'm the guy who honestly defended "Double Dragon" for the fantastically insane piece of cheeseball goodness that it is.** And even I couldn't get through this one.

Kristanna Loken. Between this and the Mortal Kombat TV show, she has so much awesome cheesiness on her resume.

**EDIT: Yeah, I thought that one needed a bit of out-of-context justification, so here goes: Random zombie attacks. In-hood cameras to combat magic windscreen-covering newspapers. Alyssa Milano force-feeding spinach to a guy in a fatsuit with a mohawk. Rivers that get set on fire. Armies who spawn in from literally nowhere, videogame-style. A street gang who disguise themselves as graffiti and stand next to walls to hide from their enemies. And so, so, so much more.

Jim, I get the whole "phone it in" thing (I hope it was soaked in irony), but do you realize you just did the exact thing you complained (quite rightly though) that both Muxwell and Killjoy did, you charged us (the viewer) for a half arsed attempt.

I do realize that no money was exchanged, but I did sit through a 30sec add, which is my penance for being allowed to watch your video

Suhgurim:
Jim, I get the whole "phone it in" thing (I hope it was soaked in irony), but do you realize you just did the exact thing you complained (quite rightly though) that both Muxwell and Killjoy did, you charged us (the viewer) for a half arsed attempt.

I do realize that no money was exchanged, but I did sit through a 30sec add, which is my penance for being allowed to watch your video

You'd equate a 30 sec add with charging six or even twenty bucks? Don't answer, I was just rhetorically busting your chops.

In all seriousness, Jim had a schedule to keep and he fell behind. Getting sick with a busy schedule will do that to you. Even once your over it, you still have to climb out from under a pile of things you're supposed to have already done with today's new demands on top. What excuse did Muxwell or Killjoy have?

The only thing I remember about this movie is Michael Madsen not giving a single fuck. Even when he dies, he looks bored out of his mind.

Soo...

Gonna assume the whole "based on a game called the Castlevania" thing was a joke, Jim???

:)

 

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