Jimquisition: Ubisoft - A Sad History of PC Failures

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Ubisoft - A Sad History of PC Failures

Oh Ubisoft, will you never not give us material? Following a recent Watch Dogs PC controversy, Jimquisition looks at Ubi's recent history of being terrible at computer games.

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I am instantly reminded of that thread from a few months ago asking why people hated EA more than Ubisoft. Things a bit more clear on why that question was asked.

So is this is the reason you reviewed Watch_Dogs on the PS4, then? I hadn't assumed you bothered with the PC version.

Smart move starting in 2010, I could start much earlier than that and just go on and on and on.

Only reported instances of good PC ports:
-Assassin's Creed Director's Cut: none of that horse-ing about, and fast-travel. Yes x10.
-Beyond Good And Evil was alright.
-Prince of Persia: Sands of Time still runs on modern OS, considering that neither Warrior Within nor The Two Thrones do, it's pretty impressive.

That is all. I agree with 100% of what you said Jim. Uplay is f***ing horrendous.

Ubisoft made it perfectly clear that they don't want my money years back. Haven't bought one of their products since, and never bloody will.

Watching Ubisoft trying to avoid controversy is like watching a drunk man play Pin The Tail On The Donkey across a minefield.

The Punge decides what is iconic.

It's times like this that I'm ashamed I own as many Ubisoft games as I do.

The worst part is that in the past ubisoft did make good pc ports, hell the pc port of rayman 2 is my favorite game ever, so I really don't know why ubisoft decided to join the dark side of terrible drm and bad ports.

Nice closing pop-off Jim.

I almost wonder how much more misinformed big companies like Ubisoft will make themselves with their, well I don't have a better way to describe it than 'isolationist' policies. Feeding a dev the line about 95% of consumer would pirate their game? Even if the trend of detrimental piracy was true, who in serious business would actually believe 95%? It's like these people don't use computers or the internet. And it's not even isolation from competition, it's isolation from consumers who could be buying their products.

I didn't expect to be laughing so hard at the end there, but it definitely got me.

Anyway, I've been aware of these issues over the years, but I never thought about just how bad it all was once added up. I only have a few ubisoft games, but I've been skipping their titles ever since they sold out AC as it's all looked creatively bankrupt. I mean hell, I couldn't even play far cry 3 after a month or so because uplay couldn't update the game and wouldn't let me uninstall or otherwise modify it in any way to try and get it working. (I was stuck with the uplay version as it came with a new graphics card I purchased). I wound up having to uninstall uplay and I haven't missed the game enough to bother trying again.

I had my fun with Assassin's Creed II and I never did get Beyond Good and Evil to work properly on the pc, so I don't feel like I'm missing much anymore.

Another instance of Uplay shutting down: December 2012. In the 2 months before that, I had been enjoying Driver: San Francisco on PC, but then I couldn't for a month and refuse to play it any more in fear of that happening again.

Ubisoft are now holding back Watch Dogs on Wii U for several months. I swear, if that port doesn't run consistently, I'm just going to pass on that game. I wouldn't even mind much if it's put down to low graphics or doesn't use the Gamepad much. But delaying for the 2nd or 3rd time is just appalling.

"We won't make it if we can't milk it to death!" (make a franchise out of it).
Is anyone honestly still expecting anything good from Ubisoft?

SomeGuySomewhereHere:
I'll just leave this here.

http://whatifgaming.com/the-division-developer-insider-we-already-downgraded-a-few-things

saw that coming a mile away. I know Ubisoft and many other companies have promised the moon and given us dirt in the past. but Watch Dogs was paraded as the next generation, what we were going to see with the PS4 and Xbone. To see them double back on effects and graphical settings has forever hurt their reputation for me. Every time I see a game from them now, all I can think is "I wonder what features will be cut, I wonder how poorly it'll look at launch". I feel Far Cry 4 will also not look as nice as it did during E3.

While I and I'm sure many others agree with the content of your video Mr. Sterling, aren't you a bit worried that with a Jimquisition this inflammatory, you might be risking the possibility of a blacklisting from Ubisoft, similar to the now infamous (and thoroughly deserved) thrashing you gave Konami?

But if people stop buying PC Ubisoft games, then I can't keep laughing at the same people who get excited about a ubi game, preorder it, get disappointed, FORGET ALL OF THIS, and do it again.

And nearly a month after release, Watch Dogs is still completely unplayable on my top of the line, hand built $4000US PC. When UPlay actually decides to let me log in the framerate is so god damn choppy it's unplayable. Thank Jim I didn't pay a cent for it.

I borrowed the disc from a friend whose computer also couldn't play it. Put down the hammer, mods!

Its sad, really. Ubisoft won't stop though, because the gaming community on the whole refuses to deprive themselves of the latest games to send the message that we won't put up with it. And lack of sales is really the only message they'll listen to, even if they'll lie about what it really means.

Sigh, you could have made a special super-long episode there. There's just so much more shit that should have been mentioned. Like when in 2008, they released Prince of Persia without DRM and immediately used it as an excuse to start that entire always-on thing because 'Price of Persia was pirated' (as it would have been anyway). After which they refused to release the story DLC on PC 'because piracy'.

Or that entire Starforce thing back in 2005 or so. Which was DRM that was essentially malware and fucked up computers. Including mine.

Well, that settles it then. No Watch Dogs for me. The last thing I need is another game with Uplay baggage to muck it up.

Maybe i'm in the minority here(which I concede is likely) but Ubisoft games were never that good to begin with. Assassins Creed especially. Don't get me wrong, the running/jumping/sneaking/stabbing is great fun but the games take exaggerated, almost comical, steps to avoid the fun bits. The experience is like going to a paintball arena to do math homework. From Dust too! Every single time I was on the verge of having some fun the game would wrench me back to a tedious micro-managing of incredibly difficult and stupid worshipers.
So Ubisoft made crappy ports of already crappy games. I'm more upset about Ubisoft horrible excuses and cop outs and that bastard DRM service than I am making sure Watch_Dogs has better graphics. Trust me, whats wrong with Watch_Dogs can't be fixed by better car headlight shadows.

I mentioned this in another thread, but the "Iconic" baseball cap was seriously the dealbreaker for me that stopped me from pre-ordering Watch_Dogs. I had an Amazon gift card, and was going to buy it, but when I saw the "Iconic" baseball cap as an advertised extra, I had to wonder why Ubi's marketers were so desperate to sell me this game. That was what stopped me from buying immediately and instead made me wait for the reviews, which luckily was the right call.

Back in early 2012, Ubisoft had to move their UPlay servers to a new location and annouced Uplay would be down 1 day for the move but it wouldn't affect Anno2070 and you would be able to play.

Guess what? For the whole day and the day after the move I wasn't able to play Anno (or any other Uplay game) at all. Worst of all they scheduled their move on a FRIDAY! Didn't it occure to them that choosing the start of the week-end to shut down their server is a very BAD idea?

Johny_X2:
Sigh, you could have made a special super-long episode there.

This was the first thing I thought when he said we didn't have all day. Jim surely you know your fans would be more than willing to listen to you rant all day? I would.

Yes, yes and furthermore yes.
Though these are all gripes I had with Ubi years and years ago and now I'm just bored of them. I stopped buying Ubi games after I bought a bunch of games on Steam and had to go through that shit-show called Uplay; which is if we're honest, probably even worse than Origin and that's saying a lot.

I always found their "stance" on piracy to be hilarious. No really. Jim pointed out one of their fallacies - but there were loads! It really is like watching a 5 year old trying to explain nuclear fission.

Iconic episode.

I thought Jim said he'd be making farting noises at Ubisoft for this? Where are the farting noises?

I know you have made numerous cases for people being allowed to "like what they like" but I think this is one of those times that proves it isn't harmless at all. Why do you think Ubisoft is acting this way? Why do you think they think they're doing a good job by handling games and consumer complaints this way? Because people keep throwing their money at them... and as far as most companies are concerned, that's a validation for everything they do above all else.

I am always really sad to see a game like Watchdogs or BF4 do well, it just means we can expect the people behind those games to push the industry in the wrong direction further and further. And the money they're using to do it isn't falling from the sky, it's coming from us, so I don't see any reason why blame can't be put on us as well. People need to make things change if they want a change, and the only way to do that is to answer with their wallet.

Muspelheim:
Ubisoft made it perfectly clear that they don't want my money years back. Haven't bought one of their products since, and never bloody will.

Same here. If Ubi don't give a shit about me, then I don't give a shit about them either.

Funfact: Both I Am Alive and Ghost Recon: Future Soldier did come out on PC in the end.

We can also say the same about Microsoft and their recent pathetic claims that they care about PC games.

I keep hearing that people have been/are needing to make separate Uplay accounts for each Ubisoft game. What.... am I doing differently? I've never had to do that. Not only in terms of different games, but different systems.

It reminds me of Dark Souls in the opposite fashion. From Software basically said "Hey guys we really dont have the talent or resources to make a PC version, but you asked for it so me made it. Sorry for the bugs" and they did a muuuuch better job on part 2, but the difference is they were honest and humble about it. I really don't get why Ubisoft has to be such dicks about everything. Why not simply be nice and garner fan support?

Ubisoft has a point. It's a fact[1] that Ubisoft PC titles see a 207% rate of piracy. We haven't seen piracy this rampant since CD Projekt's claim that the Witcher was pirate 272 trillion times[2].

Evonisia:
I am instantly reminded of that thread from a few months ago asking why people hated EA more than Ubisoft. Things a bit more clear on why that question was asked.

In fairness, almost every issue with EA hits every platform, while most of these are PC-oriented. It's very easy to see why EA gets more hate.

Xman490:
Another instance of Uplay shutting down: December 2012.

In fairness, they probably didn't bother because the world was ending. At least, until Assassin's Creed became too popular to end the human race for.

ResonanceSD:
But if people stop buying PC Ubisoft games, then I can't keep laughing at the same people who get excited about a ubi game, preorder it, get disappointed, FORGET ALL OF THIS, and do it again.

Plus, they'll just blame hat 319%[3] piracy rate anyway.

The beauty of a presuppositional position in which everyone who wants your stuff is either a loyal customer or a filthy fucking pirate.

So yeah, if people keep buying, at least there will be entertainment.

[1] DISCLAIMER: fact may be Factette, imitation fact-like susbtance
[2] I know I pulled that number out of my ass, but they pulled theirs out of their own asses, so I think it's fair
[3] The rate has actually managed to go up since I started writing

piscian:
It reminds me of Dark Souls in the opposite fashion. From Software basically said "Hey guys we really dont have the talent or resources to make a PC version, but you asked for it so me made it. Sorry for the bugs" and they did a muuuuch better job on part 2, but the difference is they were honest and humble about it. I really don't get why Ubisoft has to be such dicks about everything. Why not simply be nice and garner fan support?

To follow the example, though, From being open about it and even supposedly improving didn't stop the fans from bitching ad nauseum.

At that point, I wonder what benefit there is to being nice. Ubisoft can be dicks and still sell their games, so what motive is there?

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