Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 2

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This review reflects my thoughts on the game exactly. Even with all its flaws, Gears of War 2 is an enjoyable game. I personally only play in coop though because, as mentioned, the AI is useless and will sometimes run out and get killed thus forcing you to reload a checkpoint.

Cheesebob:
I loved it :D

I wonder...who would win in a fight of homoerticism, The guys from GoW 2 or army of 2?

I'd have to say Ao2, the Gears guys don't share parachutes. It's also much clearer with the Army guys who the, uh... catcher and pitcher would be >.>

I'm quite surprised. I figured you'd have nothing but hate for it. Well entertaining review, summed it up quite nicely =].

i like will smith... and what about the multiplayer? and the horde mode? :(

I'll take the, "Does so much right that you can't help but respect it" bit as, "It pulls off everything within it's homogeneitous background so well that it's a league above its contemporaries" or something like that. Basically, does the same thing but does it so well while adding a few new touches that it rises above the competition.

will smith was in it?

I lately find that I'm progressively less and less eager to watch Yahtzee's videos, partially because of a faint impression that he's kind of lost his touch since the last 4 entires or so, but mostly because the reviews, as good as they may be, no longer overshadow the notion of having to wait for an hour - no, literary for an hour - until the video LOADS.

I've been aware that the server's on crack for a while now - sometimes I can watch rows of ZPs without having to wait at all, but more often than not (oh, let's say, 85% of the time), my computer struggles with just ONE. I've seen several other people having the same problem as well. I've only interest in ZP and not the Escapist site as a whole (which is mainly why I'm posting this here), but I suggest somebody try to do something with this, as it gets strongly annoying after a while.

As in, like having to remove the tiny bodies of smeared BATS from the windshield of your car every time you want to take it out for a ride during the night.

(For the record, been trying to get the video to run for about two hours now and it still doesn't work by the time I'm typing this.)

(For quite another record, as advanced as I may be for a student, English is not my native language. Just saying so ahead for all the die-hard Yahtzee fans who'd commonly not hesitate for a moment to resort to flaming me via ridiculing my grammar.)

Great video, the bit about the chest high walls had me in stitches. I really liked this game, mainly due to the co-op mode. The cover system is what sets this FPS out from other shooters and in the harder settings you do need it. Also there is nothing more satisfing in this game than going to town with the sniper rifle.

Looking forward to next weeks video.

LMAO one of the best in awhile. Yahtzee for life!

Very convenient, those "chest high walls".

good video
Although I have to say I liked gears of war 1 and 2. Gears of war to me is like what painkiller is to Yahtzee mindless, cathartic, (sp) violent fun. So in many ways I disagree with him on his review (even though he did say there were somethings likable). And yeah things like the story are no where to be found, or the other charaters are really annoying, like Dom and Cole.

And theres somehting I wanna get off my chest right now...

It should be apparrent to anyone that you shouldn't judge every new game that comes out as innovative and original because most are not. This will just drive your expectations down into ground. So when I listen to reivews like Yahtzee's I see that he still gets worked up about how it's the same old game and story, big human tanks against stupid alien cridders. And for the most part it's just plain boring. I get it no one makes anything original anymore, like Beyond good and Evil, or Portal etc. It gets on my nerves too.

But hey every once in while it's nice to see the same-old-same-old game redune and made to be totally fun.

MichaelMaverick:
I lately find that I'm progressively less and less eager to watch Yahtzee's videos, partially because of a faint impression that he's kind of lost his touch since the last 4 entires or so, but mostly because the reviews, as good as they may be, no longer overshadow the notion of having to wait for an hour - no, literary for an hour - until the video LOADS.

This is something I have experienced on this site as well recently, though clearly to a lesser extent than you (2 hours!) and mainly on longer videos like the escapist show. I think it is to do with the new video player they put onto the site. I don't think it has anything to do with the server however as when I try to watch these videos on a more up to date computer they start almost immediately, so its more likely down to internet connection and type of computer not being able to stream the video fast enough.

That was a good review. Yahtzee was easier on the game than i thought.

Honestly surprised to see this one. I was trying to guess what he'd do and I dismissed this out of hand. Glad to be wrong =)

I always find Yahtzee funny, but this is one of the rare times I've laughed from beginning to end. Hard to stop long enough so I can actually HEAR it XD

I really like Will Smith everywhere. Good Point Yahtzee

Lucane:
Oh heh heh I ment clearly instead of clearing. I never would of gotten the bad South African thing his Austrailian rang out more to me than that did.

Or did I miss something else too?

You mean like how the first time he used it he mentioned that it was a South African accent and that he was making fun of it? Yes, perhaps you did miss something.

domicius:
Also, isn't there some kinda badge for being suspended?

There's a badge for *not* being suspended for a while...

"Plus there aren't any quick time events. Ow wait, actually there is one. A little one, I guess that means I have to hate it then. Yeah, let's go with that! Fuck You cliffyB!"

Soo funny :)

Aswell as the "chest high walls" part :p

I assume the repeated references to Wifey McSobsalot are deliberately in your face so that even the slow kids at the back of the class, (and on the moon), will realise that these guys aren't running around in some 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell, But Bend Over Big Boy' fantasy after all. This allows them to enjoy the wholesale slaughter of alien races without worrying that Dom is more interested in finding uncomfortable places to stash his minigun of the Marcus bung-related variety.

Still, you must admit, the appearance of bum-high walls into the battlefield would add another strategic element to game play.

I'd be all for Homoeroticism (1) if it would add a much-needed layer of Anything-That-Could-Be-Read-As-Subtext into the game. And no, pretentious slow motion videos set to acoustic versions of 80's songs (2) do not count, especially if you keep expecting Marcus to start mouthing 'Frodo......', (and, seriously, as much as I loathed the 'Ironic' Pop-Punk 80's cover version that was de rigeur for 90's bands, the 00's Hipster Musician Prentious 80's Cover Version is a far worse beast indeed).

(1) The guys in 'Army Of Two' are simply acting in a way that 11 year old boys think is 'cool', therefore they're not Gay, they're Ghey.

(2) It would have been much funnier if it had been 'Smalltown Boy' by Bronski Beat.

Nice, nice. Made me feel bad that it is not out for the PC

cest high walls D:

Hah great, never played the game but still fucking funny!

Volucer:
Loved it. I just got it over the weekend, and I've got to say that although I can see everything good about the game, I just can't seem to enjoy it. Also I'm suprised nothing was said about

I think that may be too veg to actually count as a spoiler, What surprised me is that he didn't really rip into the tank segment. Whoever decided aiming should steer was drunk and wanted the driving to reflect it,

Always look forward to a new ZP. Nice to see a positive review, as well.

Dumb question: any chance he'll review Little Big Planet, or is that too twee and precious for his sensibilities?

I like how Yahtzee was pretty clear this time around.

Not only did he clarify for us poor fools that, yes, was he kidding about that accent last time, he also said clearly in the beginning and the end that Gears of War 2 was, "Good" before his usual bout of entertaining nitpicking.

If he did that in every review (or when doing a "Game of the Year" feature) maybe we'd stop thinking he was such a bitter, jaded man he can't enjoy anything.

I'd be the first to admit that people in general are quite thick and mockworthy, but give them enough credit not to expect them to be mind readers too.

i gotta defend 2 things:

1. the way the whole Don's wife thing ends up isn't mentioned, and i think that was a pretty strong moment in the game.

2. the whole bit about running around the old army research base i'd think its pretty safe to guess that that is where the locus come from (i.e. they were created by us) and will be fleshed out in the 3rd and final game.

Still a funny review as always and it does point out some of the games problems.

Hamster at Dawn:
This review reflects my thoughts on the game exactly. Even with all its flaws, Gears of War 2 is an enjoyable game. I personally only play in coop though because, as mentioned, the AI is useless and will sometimes run out and get killed thus forcing you to reload a checkpoint.

See I didn't really 'get' this part. I never found the A.I. to be terrible or nonsensical (compared to other squad-y shooter games). I suppose I got a little pissed off at how Dom would charge into the middle of battle and get downed right away, but as long as it had little bearing on my own side of the fight I didn't much care. And if I went down, they always picked me up pronto.

If you play co-op, though, and then return to that savegame later in single player, Dom will still be equipped with whatever weapon your co-op guy was last using. In my case it was the boomshot, and Dom developed a disturbingly suicidal track record with that thing. Firing it point-blank into the waist-high walls and so forth.

Uh... so maybe Yahtzee was right.

The bit that had me in stitches was:

Tv: Shoot these guys.

Yahtzee: Why?

Tv: They look weird.

Yahtzee: Fair enough.

I was surprised because, like many others, I thought he'd do nothing but bash the game at every end...Nice to see he balanced it out.

Woo, Will Smith!
Again, glad to see some review elements, but not quite back up to the actual review standard of early-mid 2008.

I couldn't agree more with this review.
GOW had a bad, cliched, and inconsistent plot, but it was so fun to play that it was still an overall good game.

Its also nice to see him have a definitive statement on his opinions, rather then the dodgy rants that he has been going on lately.

I liked that... He liked GoW, while I love GoW!

Hilarious review. Chest high walls rule.

NCHammer326:
I totally agree about the whole "mainstream" aspect.

Agreed. mainstreaming anything makes it worse

I really loved this game, and it really made me laugh a whole lot more than many of his later works perhaps due to nostalgia factor.

Oh and nice crack on Will Smith at the end there
=)

chest high walls 4ever!

Yay! The triple-cunted hooker is back. This was definetely funnier than last week. BTW, Yahtzee's right. Will Smith is a walking ball of charisma. He can make almost anything popular.
This has to be the first review where I have no idea what was Yahtzee's recommendation about the game.

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