We Are Apes, This Is Our Apex

What was that Charlie Brooker said about the best of human achievements so far being Wi-fi and Nando's?

I really can't believe he left soft toilet paper off that list. Some prophet he is.

Humanity may eventually fade into extinction, but you can bet your ass that even a billion years from now, there's gonna be a Starbucks somewhere out there (most likely serving coffee to sentient cockroaches).

I think you meant to write "climax".

Apex?

Skeleon:
I think you meant to write "climax".

If we were clams it might have been "climax" but we are apes!

Edit: Clams have no butts and prefer vodka.

Double Edit: I could find no evidence that clams have any opinion on bananas.

Were it not for the well-marked instructions on the rolls, I might have mistaken the bananas for butt-wipes. And then where would we be?

God of Path:
Were it not for the well-marked instructions on the rolls, I might have mistaken the bananas for butt-wipes. And then where would we be?

According to Mr. Pendleton Ward's "Adventure Time", demons in the Nightosphere pretty much poop bananas. But it's complicated. They poop them out of their ears and not their butts. This complicates both the bananas and the buttwipe instructions. You be the judge:

sorsa:
Humanity may eventually fade into extinction, but you can bet your ass that even a billion years from now, there's gonna be a Starbucks somewhere out there (most likely serving coffee to sentient cockroaches).

Thanks to your much appreciated comment, I spent a fair bit of time today reading about experiments involving roaches and caffeine. The results were interesting but inconclusive.

Clankenbeard:
According to Mr. Pendleton Ward's "Adventure Time", demons in the Nightosphere pretty much poop bananas. But it's complicated. They poop them out of their ears and not their butts. This complicates both the bananas and the buttwipe instructions. You be the judge:

This weeks issue is really more a set of guidelines than actual rules to help us while away what time we have left.
Bananas always complicate things without exception.

Excessive use of beam and banana will lead to excessive use of buttwipes

Clankenbeard:
According to Mr. Pendleton Ward's "Adventure Time", demons in the Nightosphere pretty much poop bananas. But it's complicated. They poop them out of their ears and not their butts. This complicates both the bananas and the buttwipe instructions. You be the judge...

Oh dear god now I have to reassess all of my priorities.

Bah, I thought this was going to be about Starbound.

Scy Anide:
Apex?

Excuse me, but none of those pictures was a PB&J in tube form.

ThyNameIsMud:
Excessive use of beam and banana will lead to excessive use of buttwipes

Sometimes when you mix banana and bourbon...
image
magic happens!

 

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