Zero Punctuation: Sacred 3 - Nothing Is Sacred

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Sacred 3 - Nothing Is Sacred

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews hack and slash Sacred 3.

Watch Video

Ok ... when Ride to Hell leaves yahtzee in a better mood, then I guess we all know the levels of fail that have been reached. Not that anyone with a half working brain expected this so called continuation of the Sacred franchise would be any good.

Progress Quest was awesome. :P

It's a shame this game left such a bad taste in Yahtzee's mouth, because that description he gave ("Gauntlet meets Golden Axe") sounds right up my alley. I'm a huge fan of beat-em-ups and hack-and-slashers, so I would have played this. But if it really left him in such a bad mood...better not.

Oh well...maybe I'll just replay Castle Crashers again...

Speaking of comedy that was really annoying:

Bad games attract more bad games. Good thing I've never heard of Sacred before, or else this game might have really disappointed me.

i love how no matter how hard yahtzee tries to keep ZP and Lets drown out separate there's always a little bleed over because his review of the week is on his mind

I find myself agreeing more and more with Yatzhee on Joss Whedon's characters. Don't get me wrong, I loved Firefly. But the rest? Eh...
They really do come across as borderline autistic, in that social norms are not something they understand.
Shame about Sacred too. Nothing worse than an unfunny comedy game.

Sounds like another entry for the bottom five!

That walrus is adorable.

Progress Quest sounds interesting, is it any good?

I get the feeling that Yahtzee didn't like the support character.

Run, run from credit-sequence God-Yahtzee!

One day, those faithful to the written word shall rise again. One day. Be afraid, producers and marketers! Be afraid!

No lords, no masters, no adverbs in dialogue atributations!

You when I'm shocked? When my jokes (which are considered bad and always off timing) suddenly become good in comparison to Sacred 3 ones.
That is all.

Silentpony:
I find myself agreeing more and more with Yatzhee on Joss Whedon's characters.

Good god yes, Whedon's characters sound like 15 year olds trying to be sarcastic.

You can always tell when Yatzhee has had a really bad day

Speaking as something of a writer myself, I really understand where yatzee's coming from.

Writing isn't as easy as you think. ANYBODY can slap a bunch of word on a page, but making it sounds good, and making it all make sense and build up and wow the reader at the end takes a large degree of patience, effort and masochism (as you scrap dialogue for the 8th time when you realize it doesn't quite sync as well with the rest of the game as you thought).

As for the whole "generic can be used to poke fun", I agree. I'm doing that right now with an RPG I'm making, actually, and it's turning out quite well.

Muspelheim:
One day, those faithful to the written word shall rise again. One day. Be afraid, producers and marketers! Be afraid!

No lords, no masters, no adverbs in dialogue atributations!

And they will rise up and say, "We are going to write good dialogue and engaging characters, melded with a coherent and moving plot!"

And the producers will look down and say, "We actually did that stuff at a roundtable Monday morning, so we're not going to hire you. Have fun trying to flog your script to someone who gives a damn, we've got a steady stream of 'good enough' to crank out to meet our quarterly projections."

XDSkyFreak:
Ok ... when Ride to Hell leaves yahtzee in a better mood, then I guess we all know the levels of fail that have been reached. Not that anyone with a half working brain expected this so called continuation of the Sacred franchise would be any good.

It's important to remember that Ride To Hell is 1 of 2 things: Hilariously depressing, or depressingly hilarious. Sacred 3 is none, it is, as Sonic Unleashed was so aptly described, "So utterly putrid that I can't even get worked up about it."

y'know, the mention of "Joss Whedon dialogue" makes me want to write something where there's a character who tries to act like that boring, homogenized "let's make everything sarcastic" dialect only to be smacked by the hero who says "If you even THINK about trying to do that again I will keep smacking you until your eyeballs switch places." I've just gotten really bored of all these game writers who have based their entire writing style around Firefly.

Oh my ! i just played Progress Quest ! Its like the best RPG i have ever played . Nothing even compares . My dear escapists , each and every one of you , you have to play it now ! Its the most perfect game ever made.

That A, B , C line had me laughing out loud :D
I know one game I'm staying away from!

Johnny Novgorod:
Good god yes, Whedon's characters sound like 15 year olds trying to be sarcastic.

Not just that, but they all(or at least the majority) sound the exact same. I think Yatzhee even said as much at a Con once; that for most of the characters, the dialogue is interchangeable while keeping all of them in character. Its the same personality spread amongst 8-10 characters.

That ending had me going for a minute there, thank Christ the credits elaborated.

So this is the Sonic Unleashed to Ride to Hell's Too Human, got it. The grind sounds worse than last week's MMO, too, how depressing.

The only thing I came in to comment on, is, I'm pretty sure the plural of Ride to Hell is Ride to Hells, since Ride to Hell is a whole thought...

Ahhh.... Sacred. I bought the GOG version a while back. I remembered that i played this game quite a lot in my youth, but never finished it. After 3 days i knew why: The game is f#####g tedious and i had every right to forget it. I will not even speak about part 2. Seems like part 3 is just as bad.
Why do they keep making these?

In this week's review of Sacred 3, Yahtzee reaches for the really low-hanging fruit that even Jim Sterling felt he had to lampshade in order to get past his YouTube audience: the joke "Nothing Is Sacred...3"

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

IMO, the writers of this game can't even touch Joss Whedon, and it's a shame that his name has become shorthand for "quippy dialogue of a nature generally associated with '90s teenagers". They're not even in the same galactic quadrant. And the game's voice acting really is eye-wateringly terrible (except the Big Bad; he's deliciously hammy).

Speaking of the '90s: Johnny Fartknocker. Heh heh heh / A-huh huh huh.

This game is a sad disgrace. Not only is it nothing like the games that it is pretending to be a sequel of, but the publisher Deep Silver did an intentional bait and switch to fleece fans out of money.

They had a review embargo in place, and then actually released the game early without telling anyone and without changing the embargo date deliberately so fans of the series who preordered it would be charged before the reviews came out unmasking this pretender. I'm not sure I've ever seen a company pull that kind of garbage before.

Soooooo... didn't like it then.... damn, that was like watching a crucifixion.

Damn, I haven't seen Yahtzee so pissed off at a game that he didn't make a penis joke in a long time.

Silentpony:
Not just that, but they all(or at least the majority) sound the exact same. I think Yatzhee even said as much at a Con once; that for most of the characters, the dialogue is interchangeable while keeping all of them in character. Its the same personality spread amongst 8-10 characters.

I remember him saying that on an online vid he recorded with a Whedon fan. A third person had to step in because things weren't going to go well after that,

(Also really, really not a Whedon fan)

Sacred 3 being rubbish isn't exactly a surprise. Sacred 2 was, lets face it, a bit rubbish. But Sacred 2 was ambitious and quirky rubbish which was largely rubbish because it put far more effort into content (utterly fuckloads thereof, game is hueg) than polish (something of a hallmark of Ascaron games). (Sacred 3 is a different developer though).

It also was a Diablo-em-up in period where we were starved for good Diablo, with Titan Quest being its only real competition, so a slightly rubbish Diablo was the best we were going to get.

Well THAT really sucks!
Part one was highly innivative and part 2 on 360 was great fun with local-couch co-op no less!
So cathering even more to an online experience? I don't think that was the problem... :(

They completely ruined the Sacred name..I hope it just goes and dies and it never returns.

I will still remember the first one being one of the best post Diablo II clones that I have played alongside Titan Quest.

I completely forgot Sacred was a series until Yahtzee reviewed this dreck. And Yahtzee's at his best when he lets the hate flow.
Speaking of Yahtzee, Harley Quinn uses that from time to time in the latest DC Animated Feature about Suicide Squad. One instance will really make you laugh your ass off.

LenticularHomicide:

IMO, the writers of this game can't even touch Joss Whedon, and it's a shame that his name has become shorthand for "quippy dialogue of a nature generally associated with '90s teenagers". They're not even in the same galactic quadrant. And the game's voice acting really is eye-wateringly terrible (except the Big Bad; he's deliciously hammy).

Speaking of the '90s: Johnny Fartknocker. Heh heh heh / A-huh huh huh.

That was my first thought, with Beavis and Butt-head. Well done, sir or madam.

Boy. Yahtzee REALLY hates him some Whedon. I can see his point, if every main character sounds like a sarcastic teenager. He wrote The Avengers, but the most Whedon-esque dialogue I can recall was from Iron Man. But we'll give him a pass because he's Tony Goddamned Stark played by Robert Fucking Downey, Jr.
Well, there was that one line from Bruce Banner when he's brought to the Hellicarrier and finds that it flies.

Thunderous Cacophony:

Muspelheim:
One day, those faithful to the written word shall rise again. One day. Be afraid, producers and marketers! Be afraid!

No lords, no masters, no adverbs in dialogue atributations!

And they will rise up and say, "We are going to write good dialogue and engaging characters, melded with a coherent and moving plot!"

And the producers will look down and say, "We actually did that stuff at a roundtable Monday morning, so we're not going to hire you. Have fun trying to flog your script to someone who gives a damn, we've got a steady stream of 'good enough' to crank out to meet our quarterly projections."

"You...! You shall burn for this!", said the disgraced lead writer, and marched with his flock to the lands of Woodlands Behind the Office.

There, they remained. The few indie titles fashioned from string and leaf was enough to provide a small but steady income for the future war effort. While their war drums and keyboard clatter still promise "One day, one day, one day."

The producers were too busy defending the paralyzing electrical shocks caused by their games as a feature to take note.

As an armature writer I have to say: Yatzee is dead on when it comes to writing. It's not easy to write,you have to have something to write and coming up with that can be hard. There have been times when I'd get an idea and have a 2 or 3 page story done in an hour and there have been times when I looked at my keyboard trying to come up with something and getting nothing. Even when you get something you have to make sure it's good, you can't just write something down and expect it to be good. If it can be good most of the time it will take editing and rewrites. It's not fucking easy.

Much Whedon-hate in this comment section.
This game is different from Whedon in that I find Whedon's sarcastic quips more intelligent and .... sarcastier? Sacred 3 goes for the most common-denominator come-backs there are. I didn't even notice it was sarcasm because it was so flat.
I played the thing on 360 with a friend - the supposed best way, since everything can be funny when you play it with friends. I was still disappointed. Two hours in (or so) it became really tedious and repetitive.
The lack of loot makes it uninteresting to fight - fight is all there is - presto, uninteresting game.
The only time me and my friend laughed was once, when my collegue sellected a sexist ability/power-character/whatever and I played as the female angel-swordfighter:
The comments were so blatantly sexist that it caused us to laugh in a WTF manner. "Cupcake"? Really?
After that, the same stock remarks were triggered by every powered-up attack, so even that became tedious, even annoying.
Do not buy.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Your account does not have posting rights. If you feel this is in error, please contact an administrator. (ID# 64770)