Mountain Review - Best Game Everest?

Mountain Review - Best Game Everest?

It touched my heart. I touched myself.

Read Full Article

Well, that review was more entertaining than anything I could get out of Mountain. Any place where I can send you $0.99 for the 2 minutes, 37 seconds of enjoyment I got out of reading your words?

A fitting review. A shame this has neither hill dwarves nor Cylons.

Your review sold me on the game. I think I'll buy it and then just fiddle with it while my friend slowly reads the review over again out loud.

I bought a game. Reminds me of a time when, I was on the field chasing butterflies.

It's Proteus, but less interactive and pretty. Not sure what the big deal is. But, there's probably something I'm missing.

The problem I have with Mountain is that once you've had the admittedly very personal experience of seeing your own little floating peak and bank of storm clouds come into being, and once you've squeezed every ounce of meaning or beauty from the proceedings, you're basically done.

The first time I opened up Mountain, I actually bothered to send a Facebook snapshot. The second time, I just rotated the mountain a few times, zoomed out and zoomed in again. By the third time, I'd opened the app accidentally.

Now, at my fourth use of the app, all I'm doing is bringing it up to someone who's curious and going "Well, yeah. It's a mountain. Floating in space. It's kinda zen, I guess."

And that's it. There's a bit of that old David Cage problem in there, in the sense that Mountain isn't really capable of wresting anything out of you after a few concurrent uses. At least it's subtle enough to avoid beating me over the head with a dead horse, all the while going "I'M TORTURING ELLEN PAGE IN A MOCAP SUIT FOR YOUR BENEFIT, YOU THANKLESS SWINE! FEEL FOR ME! EMOTE! CONNECT WITH FAKE ELLEN PAGE AND HER GHOST BUDDY! DO IT NOW!"

This is the most profoundly moving thing I've ever read. And said of the most profoundly moving game ever to exist.

Truly, there can be no better. This, this Mountain? This is the peak of gaming. From here, it is all downhill.

And for that, I am sad.

I'm sorry.

the one from Showgirls was addicted to caffeine pills?
also was Kelly hot? Is she The Mountain. Will this mountain gouge my eyes and make my head explode?

Holy hell, Jim, that was the best review I've ever read. Thank god for you.

It's a good screensaver.

...

That's about it. My qualms with the praise are that its a non-gamer's idea of an artsy game. I.e. a 3D-rendered painting that sometimes changes at the right conditions.

It's to games what The Artist was to movies. Nothing but fluff, and an outside, shallow perspective into games as art, satisfying the non-gamer/film buff masses in its inoffensiveness.

Spec Ops The Line is a work of art. Journey is a work of art. This 3D program is the Flappy Bird equivalent.

Eh, I bought it for $1 and it's kind of fun to just leave on for awhile.

This review spoke to me in the same way that a priest might speak to a young boy on the Internet.

10/10 great review would recommend to friends coworkers and people I want to scare.

Did i just k-hole completely sober there? Gotta take things a bit slower now. But first...wine!
Excellent journey of thought there. I must return to my chambers to dwell on this.

Sigmund Av Volsung:
It's a good screensaver.

...

That's about it. My qualms with the praise are that its a non-gamer's idea of an artsy game. I.e. a 3D-rendered painting that sometimes changes at the right conditions.

It's to games what The Artist was to movies. Nothing but fluff, and an outside, shallow perspective into games as art, satisfying the non-gamer/film buff masses in its inoffensiveness.

Spec Ops The Line is a work of art. Journey is a work of art. This 3D program is the Flappy Bird equivalent.

THANK YOU! Now that I know what this actually is, the review and all of these comments finally make sense. Pure fluff.

Even this got a higher review score than Colonial Marines, SEGA. Think about that for a lifetime.

Oh Christ, I've heard waaaay too many of Jim's podcasts. My first thought upon reading that very first paragraph was "Whaaaat! Jim's dad wouldn't do that, he was some sort of absentee dickhead in Germany!" because I have a weirdly detailed knowledge of his childhood now, apparently. In my defense, hearing Jim sexually harass a social worker while he tries to talk about video games really helps me focus/ignore creepy dudes on the bus.

This review touched me... if only I could somehow distill its essence into a viscous miasma and deliver it, as if an enema, to the depths of my soul then I too might discover the true meaning of life and burst forth from my nethers mountains of meaning equal to that of the digital paragon described by Jim!

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here