Virtual Hotties

 Pages 1 2 3 4 NEXT
 

Virtual Hotties

NOTE TO SELF: WRITE DONGLE JOKE.

Read Full Article

I really would like more obvious man-candy in my games. I guess we do have idealized hunks too, actually come to think of it we have a lot of muscular men in games but they tend to be grizzled and look like abused meat. But i suppose those are from the 'male gaze' or whatever. I dunno. But i sure as hell see a lot of bulging, sweaty muscles in some areas. *bites lip*

"But hey, there's nothing else going on this week"
NOTHING else? Well i guess there are 250 pages of Nothing else in the forum :P

I am outraged and will have none of your civil discussion sir!

I have a serious question;

Why, during these kinds of debates, do people insist on saying/implying that the male primary sex characteristic - our twig and berries, rod and reel, I'm-out-of-euphemisms - is in anyway comparable to female secondary sex characteristics - their boobs, flotation devices, whatever-you-like-to-call-them and their hips/thighs - at all?

Because they're not. At all.

Eric the Orange:
I am outraged and will have none of your civil discussion sir!

Good show, old bean!

Time to go super nerdy on all you fine people: In the books(A. Yes I read them. B. Some are actually really good(Eric Nylund) C. I only got to play 1 and 2. PC forever wooo![tries to mask the pain]). When an AI is created, it chooses ist own avatar. In the books, there was a 'female' AI that resembled a mermaid, another Athena and in Contact Harvest [cringes] they did so dynamically.

Yeah! I disproved the assumptions of a parody comic

I feel like the industry needs more Larry's. I think there's a place for both Cortana's and Larry's.

Bolo The Great:
"But hey, there's nothing else going on this week"
NOTHING else? Well i guess there are 250 pages of Nothing else in the forum :P

I don't think even Critical Miss is dumb/brave enough to go stick their head in that shark tank. It seems to be a topic that will be officially ignored while everyone in the real world talks about it endlessly.

Also, just throwing it out there, but you'd have a much better time selling it if it wasn't named Larry. That's just such an unsexy name. Maybe Lucius or Julius, or James for a more modern feel.

Check your whatever privilege, *insert socio-ethno-economic group of your choice*!

Thunderous Cacophony:

Bolo The Great:
"But hey, there's nothing else going on this week"
NOTHING else? Well i guess there are 250 pages of Nothing else in the forum :P

I don't think even Critical Miss is dumb/brave enough to go stick their head in that shark tank. It seems to be a topic that will be officially ignored while everyone in the real world talks about it endlessly.

Also, just throwing it out there, but you'd have a much better time selling it if it wasn't named Larry. That's just such an unsexy name. Maybe Lucius or Julius, or James for a more modern feel.

Yeah. probably wise after some light ribbing in WGDF caused a massive riot (seriously i still don't see the anger that comic was funny) but i guess a news story that has some actual teeth wouldn't fit with their usual flippant style.

Wise but still disappointing, can you imagine how the thread would BURN? You'd see it from space.

Thunderous Cacophony:
Also, just throwing it out there, but you'd have a much better time selling it if it wasn't named Larry. That's just such an unsexy name. Maybe Lucius or Julius, or James for a more modern feel.

Or even Lawrence, for which Larry is generally the short hand.

Paragon Fury:
I have a serious question;

Why, during these kinds of debates, do people insist on saying/implying that the male primary sex characteristic - our twig and berries, rod and reel, I'm-out-of-euphemisms - is in anyway comparable to female secondary sex characteristics - their boobs, flotation devices, whatever-you-like-to-call-them and their hips/thighs - at all?

Because they're not. At all.

Well, they're both largely varying in size, dangle and bounce to and fro, and spit out liquids most people would normally consider rather disgusting/unfit for civil conversation.

EDIT: Didn't read the hips/thighs part. I may have only woken up a few minutes ago.

OT: You know, in wild bouts of madness I often felt Metroid Prime and Halo could have been cut from the same cloth back in the day. Not that I had any reason for it, beyond the fact that Master Chief and Samus both have badass power armor with vaguely-similar helmet visors.

Paragon Fury:
I have a serious question;

Why, during these kinds of debates, do people insist on saying/implying that the male primary sex characteristic - our twig and berries, rod and reel, I'm-out-of-euphemisms - is in anyway comparable to female secondary sex characteristics - their boobs, flotation devices, whatever-you-like-to-call-them and their hips/thighs - at all?

Because they're not. At all.

Eh, what male secondary sex characteristics aren't you allowed to show in public though?

...

Eh, again, just make everyone a physically perfect nudist in the future and be done with it.

My take on Cortana is that she actually modeled herself around actresses/models of said time period, to achieve better feedback from mostly male soldiers
Guys, lets be honest, to whom would you respond better?
CABAL


or
Cortana

I know I'd pick Cortana every single time.

Patriarchal nature society + males are more visual = more female eye candy, even if you take away the patriarchal nature of society its still easier to sell to teen males using cheap eye candy.

The playing field needs to be leveled some more but frankly there is not much more you can do other than censoring sexualizations of any kind.

Wasn't that Adam's job in Metroid Fusion.

And while everyone is talking about equality of gender in video games I'm just sitting here thinking.

"Jesus, Larry is hung...
Like, it goes below his knee."

Paragon Fury:
I have a serious question;

Why, during these kinds of debates, do people insist on saying/implying that the male primary sex characteristic - our twig and berries, rod and reel, I'm-out-of-euphemisms - is in anyway comparable to female secondary sex characteristics - their boobs, flotation devices, whatever-you-like-to-call-them and their hips/thighs - at all?

Because they're not. At all.

because to do otherwise would be to admit that they see display of female secondary sexual characteristics as inferior to male ones (low body fat, big upper body muscles).

HAH! that made me giggle, and that's all I have to say about it

Hey, Larry The Lazy Leprechaun With The Horse Dong is a great character.
Don't write him off as a niche market :P

Now, I'm not usually one of those people who complain about representation or whatever...

But you will find nothing but encouragement from me if you decide to start shoving hot guys into video games. That'd be great, actually.

Paragon Fury:
I have a serious question;

Why, during these kinds of debates, do people insist on saying/implying that the male primary sex characteristic - our twig and berries, rod and reel, I'm-out-of-euphemisms - is in anyway comparable to female secondary sex characteristics - their boobs, flotation devices, whatever-you-like-to-call-them and their hips/thighs - at all?

Because they're not. At all.

I don't get that either. I mean, it's not even as readily visible as "flotation devices," and that's frankly an awesome thing because it looks a little weird and... not very attractive at all.

Now, a sculpted torso, a fine dusting of stubble, a slight openness at the collar - that. That's hot. Give me more of that.

Oh, you're clearly missing the important part -- Cortana is a sexual fantasy directed at straight men while Larry is a power fantasy directed at straight men. Don't you know how this works?

What was that? Civil discussion? Humor?! FUN?! Not on our watch!

*stomp stomp stomp*

Now start blaming all of the problems with gaming on one demographic, and no more of that other crazy talk!

JCAll:
Wasn't that Adam's job in Metroid Fusion.

You mean General Cockblock? Like he's going to authorize any sort of female or male fanservice, let alone drop his pants for the ladies!

To be fair, Larry looks pretty reliable. The kind of AI that'd go out his way to make sure you were sorted, and likely to refer to you as "Boss".

I am glad that we exist in such a community that we can safely partake in a joke such as this without harsh words or overreactions.

Bolo The Great:

NOTHING else? Well i guess there are 250 pages of Nothing else in the forum :P

I believe, as that Simpsons meme goes, "that's the joke."

Yeah. probably wise after some light ribbing in WGDF caused a massive riot (seriously i still don't see the anger that comic was funny) but i guess a news story that has some actual teeth wouldn't fit with their usual flippant style.

Personally, I found the civil discourse that arose from that thread to be quite stimulating and wholly refreshing.

thaluikhain:

Eh, again, just make everyone a physically perfect nudist in the future and be done with it.

This would certainly work, given the overall reputation of the gaming community of having a very high level of maturity. I approve.

I laughed much harder at this than was necessary. Thank you I needed that.

MegaManOfNumbers:

JCAll:
Wasn't that Adam's job in Metroid Fusion.

You mean General Cockblock? Like he's going to authorize any sort of female or male fanservice, let alone drop his pants for the ladies!

In Fusion he wasn't much of a "cockblock", he was actually a decent character, but I guess I'd say something entirely different if the GBA's cartdridges had enough space for voice acting :/

I would just like to take this space to re-iterate my love for man-buns :P If we sexualize equally i don't see a problem. Sexualized media will always exist.

Cortana evolving into basically a naked women was kind of uncomfortable.

Well in fairness as a (mostly) straight male even I think games need more male eye-candy. There's enough female eye-candy to run the whole gamut of preferences/fetishes but for guys, I hope you like muscular white dudes 'cause that's what you're getting.

Honestly, games need more Free-like designs....

Okay, I'm confused. What is the Internet Shitstorm Machine worked up about this week that the comic's deliberately avoiding?

Revolutionary:
I feel like the industry needs more Larry's. I think there's a place for both Cortana's and Larry's.

I don't think most people would have enough space for Larry. D:

That's an interesting concept. I wonder how Metroid games would be with Samus having a digital sidekick. After all the backlash from turning a silent protagonist into an annoying chatterbox in Other M, game devs could sidestep that by having Larry do all the talking.
Another possibility would be to have the two of them talk to each other. Lots of us clearly don't want to hear Samus monologue again, but perhaps harmless banter between the two of them would be an improvement.

Either way, it would be important to make sure he's not annoying. We don't need another Navi.

Scow2:
Okay, I'm confused. What is the Internet Shitstorm Machine worked up about this week that the comic's deliberately avoiding?

The Pretty Hate Machine Internet controversy machine brings you this:

http://www.gamerheadlines.com/2014/08/kotaku-and-zoe-quinn-accused-of-exchanging-positive-press-for-sex/
http://www.brightsideofnews.com/2014/08/25/gamers-revolt-another-take-on-the-zoe-quinn-scandal/

If you go to the off-topic forum you will find a thread of Biblical proportions detailing how this blew up from a minor scandal into some unstoppable monster of a story by virtue of censorship and attempts to prevent discussion.

Bolo The Great:
I would just like to take this space to re-iterate my love for man-buns :P If we sexualize equally i don't see a problem. Sexualized media will always exist.

Yeah, I can't see even smaller game developers doing that within the next 10 years. Alienated the teenage fanbase would be financially unwise.

Cortana evolving into basically a naked women was kind of uncomfortable.

But she was always a naked woman. She just got more detailed and curvy. Partially because of graphical improvements, partially because they wanted to make her look sexier. Personally none of that bothered me. However, Halo smart AIs aren't meant to be able to change their physical appearance, so from a lore point of view...

sageoftruth:
That's an interesting concept. I wonder how Metroid games would be with Samus having a digital sidekick. After all the backlash from turning a silent protagonist into an annoying chatterbox in Other M, game devs could sidestep that by having Larry do all the talking.
Another possibility would be to have the two of them talk to each other. Lots of us clearly don't want to hear Samus monologue again, but perhaps harmless banter between the two of them would be an improvement.

Either way, it would be important to make sure he's not annoying. We don't need another Navi.

Okay, I haven't played any recent Metroid games, but I'm assuming Samus talks more than the Chief does? Because in that regard Cortana is massively important in Halo games. She is the Chief's guide/companion/smartphone and the juxtaposition of the two personalities (especially in Halo 4 where it was a main theme) has always been a rather interesting aspect of the Halo games for me.

In Halo 3, Cortana is absent for most the game, and even though she's replaced by a Human who sounds the exact same (which was annoying in Halo 2 since they were both often in the same scene), it's just not as good.

 Pages 1 2 3 4 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here