189: ¡VIVA LA R3V0LUC10N!

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People might consider his examples extreme, but there is a point.

People ask "what gives you the right to pirate games?"

Well, what gave black slaves the right to freedom? That right didn't exist - they were property. People decided that was wrong, and fought for their freedom. I'm willing to bet that, in one way or another, one or more laws were broken in the fight for equality and the end of slavery.

You can bitch how you can't possibly compare slavery to gaming, but you can.

No you can't.


Your argument involves equating the charging of money for providing goods or services to a violation of human rights, and therefore is something that needs to be opposed, even when it involves the breaking of laws. I'm not saying it's fundamentally wrong to believe this way, just that those that embrace that position must also accept the inherent consequences of it.

Not just the immediate consequence they risk when breaking a law, but also the long-term should society enact the change they wish, and the public is able to determine the price they pay. That price being zero, unless there's some justification made by those that pirate as to why some get to pay nothing for what others must pay something for. If there is, I've missed it.

I have this great feeling that as soon as one person said
"This is Satire,this is funny and not serious" EVERYONE suddenly got the joke and went along with it,and of course they knew all along.(just a feeling,or so I would hope)

I'll be honest with you. For the first page or two, I thought this had been copied and pasted directly from one of the piracy-related threads that pop up every so often around here.

Last page definitely managed to get the warnings finally going off in my head: Stardock DRM? Odd, but still going with person raving on forums... No good games since 1998? All right, this is more what I'd expect from OldWizards or whatever that site obsessed with the SNES is called... Immolation? I'm pretty sure that didn't actually happen... I would have remembered reading about it.

... Was going to mock what I thought was a rather unsubtle attempt at satire... apparently I was wrong, having seen this comment thread. The internet is a scary place....

I totally agree with this article, youknow. Fuck tha man. Everyone knows it's a basic human right to have DRM free content made by companies which are magical altruistic heartwarming puppylovers.

You're not protesting against a war, an evil idealogy, weapons of mass destruction, or even a nasty religion. You're sitting on your ass complaining about DRM because people very much like you feel your somehow entitled to free content that takes millions to produce, and you don't like the idea of products actaully having bits attached to prevent thieves.

What the hell is wrong with you.

Go start protesting against barcodes or something, or anti-theft tags on cloths on sale at the GAP.

Same principle. The only difference is digital content is not tangible, so you get your morals in a twist and end up feeling really self righteous about your right to play content for free.

Yes, I do understand the difference between infringement and theft. But, you're still complaining that you can't get something for nothing.

I like how some people think he's completely serious.

I like how some people think he's completely serious.

Agreed. The amount of outrage towards his sarcasm is somewhere between hilarious and disturbing.


Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

But privacy and free speech are both human rights. DRM is in violation of both.


Was going to say that but that's just the way it goes.
Isn't just in games either. Just went through an ordeal not 30 minutes ago trying to install a Microsoft webcam. The install screen says I can choose to install Live Messenger with the cam drivers, or just the cam drivers. I choose the latter. 3 times my machine blue screens on me. I figure out what's going on, choose to install Live messenger and BANGO, works like a charm. I think "No way can Microsoft actually be blackmailing me to use Messenger by scuttling my cam install?" So I deleted both, and tried it again with the same results. I've also had starforce from Dirt prevent both emulators and DVD playing software from operating properly, and to this day I cannot burn DVDs or CDs on that drive without an error.

EDIT: To everyone taking this article seriously: Lrn2Rd

Excuse me while I do my best to get in everyone's face.

To everyone who thinks this is a simple issue: You are wrong. DRM doesn't prevent piracy and piracy is not theft. Piracy is not right and producers of software have the right to protect their product, but that doesn't mean DRM is the answer. This isn't a simple issue and it doesn't have a simple answer.

And before you climb on your soap box and demand that I give an alternative let me disclaim: I don't necessarily have the answer, but I know what the answer is *not*.

Hey, it might be satire, but it's the best kind of satire -- where 90% of what it says is the complete truth (and the other 10% is just added for comedic effect).

This is how I interpreted it as well. But is he poking fun at the fanboyism surrounding the DRM issue or is he actually poking fun at the whole anti-DRM argument?

You never buy a game, you only buy a license to play it and the program necessary to do so. It's not yours to do whatever you like with and it -never has been-, pre or post DRM. If you don't believe me read the license agreement you accept when you install pretty much any game, old or new. Publishers can deliver the game how they want, as long as they think people will still swallow it.

And therein lies the problem. It's obvious to me that a distinction needed to be made between purchasing software and licensing software. Software, like music, isn't something physical whose utility you lose when give it to someone else. I see the original intention of licensing agreements as a way to ensure that software products enjoy the same limited use and distribution channels as a 'normal' product like a chair, knife, or torch.

Unlike anything else though, publishers have been able to convince consumers that them retaining 100% control over your license to use the software is a good and acceptable thing. If a record label goes out of business or a band breaks up, you as consumer only lose whatever future content they might have produced, you don't lose the ability to enjoy any current CDs you already own.

Strangely enough, the battle against music DRM seems to be all but won, yet software DRM is as entrenched as ever.

Having said that, none of the doomsday scenarios people talk about like, say, the day Valve's servers shut down and nobody gets to play the games they got from it anymore will never actually happen because even if the servers do go down for good if Valve doesn't release a patch unlocking the content before that happens, then -somebody- will. If the worst comes to the worst with DRM, we'll still be able to keep playing.

I applaud your faith in humans. Personally I don't trust that all the games I find entertaining will still be popular enough by the time the so-called "Doomsday Scenarios" transpire to warrant some cracker's attention. I also can't wait for the ironic day to come where one of these 'services' does go down and the masses that decried the evils of piracy and supported the need of DRM run to the 'filthy pirates' to plead for help to get their legal purchases working again.

Speaking of emergency unlocking patches: Whose to say that all the publishers hosted on said service would allow the hosts of the service to simply strip the protection they paid good money for out of their software?

DRM wouldn't be an issue if there wasn't a healthy pirating community out there. By presenting the product, a publisher or developer has every right to set the terms of said purchase and use. You have every right to not support such terms of purchase and use, you however do not have the right to rip them off.

DRM wouldn't be an issue if publishers would realise that it doesn't prevent piracy. It was a valid response to the problem at the time but now that it's been established that it's having negligible effect it may as well be abandoned. It's a needless production cost and inconvenience. Other than that I agree with your statement.

Well, what gave black slaves the right to freedom? That right didn't exist - they were property. People decided that was wrong, and fought for their freedom. I'm willing to bet that, in one way or another, one or more laws were broken in the fight for equality and the end of slavery.

You can bitch how you can't possibly compare slavery to gaming, but you can. The only difference is where you draw the line; both are examples of an "accepted" practice that one group find acceptable, another group find deplorable, and the only solution involves breaking the law and/or forcing a change in the law.

Thanks Wargamer, for making the pro-DRMers' point for them. Over-the-top arguments like these harm our credibility, it doesn't strengthen it.

Yes, current incarnations of DRM inhibit consumer freedoms, but as consumers if we simply refuse to buy software with draconian DRM we are denied entertainment, or at worst some productivity software. We aren't beaten within an inch of our lives, nor are we denied our right to live for our insolence.

Maybe your predictions are accurate, but that doesn't change the fact that for now, we're talking about entertainment. Freedom is always worth fighting for but please don't liken it to slavery or any other fight for basic human rights for that matter.

Baby Tea:
What a hilarious piece of satire! Very hilarious.
People can get bent so out of shape over things like DRM, and it's good to see writers taking a humorous approach to the 'Anti-DRM fanatics'.

Made me chuckle.

Oh, for sure. Many of the replies here remind me of the response to my Vegan Halo thread. Brilliant satire, well written, pointed and everything such an article should be. Brought a smile to my face, and thankyou.

I live in the woods, at any time my internet could crash or be be snailing at 10 bytes a second.

I've waited for over 2 hours for me to connect to my steam account... I've had websites assume my internet crashed, when instead my internet is just too slow. Hell it's happend on this website a couple of times.

So I know pretty well how much online authentifacation is annoying.

and I agree with the general principle of the OP's point.

Admittedly tho I think I'll refrain from the self immolotations, but hey I'll immolotate some one ELSE for my cause if that counts :P

The best satire is that which people think is meant in seriousness. Note, however, that satire is different than trolling.

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