Review: Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

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Review: Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

Zombies, boobs, and tons of guns-and-swords violence - and not much else.

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I was thinking about picking up Far Cry 2. Now, I'm not so sure. This looks to be brilliant. Utterly, mind boggling brilliant.

Oooh dress up mode. Oh no wait, it'll just be bikinis. Bugger. Oh well, the last ones were lame so I doubt this will hold my interest. In fact I'm sure the level in the video is exactly the same as on the last two games.

I actually read somewhere where it explained why the girls in this game were wearing bikinis. It was something to the effect of how they gain more power when they are bathed in tainted zombie blood and the bikinis must be worn so that there is a maximum amount of skin surface area for the blood to reach. I just found it extremely amusing that they attempted to explain that point.

IGN says the Wii version is better, can you say anything about that?

One thing you can certainly say for Onechanbara, it's certainly the most honest game released to date.

Brokkr:
I actually read somewhere where it explained why the girls in this game were wearing bikinis. It was something to the effect of how they gain more power when they are bathed in tainted zombie blood and the bikinis must be worn so that there is a maximum amount of skin surface area for the blood to reach. I just found it extremely amusing that they attempted to explain that point.

makes perfect sense!

KDR_11k:
IGN says the Wii version is better, can you say anything about that?

Unfortunately no, since I did not play the Wii version. However, since the 360 version was essentially just a rerelease of a 2006 game and the Wii was actually built from the ground up, it wouldn't surprise me.

Wow, I will rent this game out of curiosity. Wouldn't Zoe in a bikini make L4D better? I think so, however this game isn't built on Source. I guess you can't win 'em all...

It's as if the japanese are trying to see if their "unique tastes" are viable in the rest of the world too. Porn-movie plot exposition (as mentioned by Brokkr)? A dress-up game with an underage girl? Nope, not creepy at all...

On top of that it just looks like a crappy game. Even Afro Samurai looks more fun than this :(

Just one question. WHY? WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY??? (sorry for the caps, simply for ranting purposes only). What is the point of this game? I enjoy slash-em-ups just as much as the next guy/girl, but why do something like this? You never see Jill Valentine or Agent G in bikinis (although in G's case, that would be slightly disturbing...).

I really really hate it when they sexulize violence like this.

GotY 2009, definitely. Finally a game that grasps all the components that makes a good game.

Yeah the wii version was built from the ground up the instant I saw the video supplement in this review. Think of the wii version that has the shake to swing your sword and can have the combat complexity and style of the Devil May Cry series. Problem is that the combat is really hard to pull off with the shaking of the wiimote and nunchuck.

If I could make a mathematical equation that makes oneechanbara in terms of gameplay it would be this.

(Devil May Cry/2)+(Dynasty Warriors-officers)=Oneechanbara: Binkini Samurai Squad

It is a good escape when you do need a basic hack and slash which made me love the dynasty warriors series when I first played 2 or 3.

Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Sounds... pretty much like what I would've expected from a game called Bikini Samurai Squad. Maybe these girls will be cameo characters in the next Dead or Alive Xtreme game.

This game has all my favorite things. almost naked chicks with sharp objects trying to kill zombies holding sharp objects.....i loved it for the wii

Tenmar:
Yeah the wii version was built from the ground up the instant I saw the video supplement in this review. Think of the wii version that has the shake to swing your sword and can have the combat complexity and style of the Devil May Cry series. Problem is that the combat is really hard to pull off with the shaking of the wiimote and nunchuck.

If I could make a mathematical equation that makes oneechanbara in terms of gameplay it would be this.

(Devil May Cry/2)+(Dynasty Warriors-officers)=Oneechanbara: Binkini Samurai Squad

It is a good escape when you do need a basic hack and slash which made me love the dynasty warriors series when I first played 2 or 3.

sorry for the second post in a row but.....DUDE the wii version is bikini zombie slayers. the combat is easier then the xbox. and well its overall funner to play for the wii.

Hands up who wants to see Yahtzee's take on this? :p

whyarecarrots:
Hands up who wants to see Yahtzee's take on this? :p

No challenge... And I think it would just end up being 4 minutes of swearing.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Its getting quite scary to be honest.

Dectilon:

whyarecarrots:
Hands up who wants to see Yahtzee's take on this? :p

No challenge... And I think it would just end up being 4 minutes of swearing.

Hmm, yes, but it would also end up being 4 minutes of very funny swearing: the Sonic Unleashed review was entirely bile, and that's one of his funniest recent ones.

Anyway, that's probably enough about Yahtzee: he seems to appear often enough on this forum without me contributing to the figure...

And I have only one thing to say about this game... WHY!?

Ranooth:

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Its getting quite scary to be honest.

Tell me you don't think those iddy zombies are just totally adorable. Besides, Funk wrote the script, I just read it. I'm only responsible for the ickle bickle cutsies in my own reviews. ;)

Susan Arendt:

Ranooth:

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Its getting quite scary to be honest.

Tell me you don't think those iddy zombies are just totally adorable. Besides, Funk wrote the script, I just read it. I'm only responsible for the ickle bickle cutsies in my own reviews. ;)

I was going to say that you doing that is starting to get too cute like that eyore donkey you had as an avatar Susan. I do wonder why you keep doing the narration though. Do you think it is because we love listening to your sultry voice?

whyarecarrots:
And I have only one thing to say about this game... WHY!?

Someone thought it up, some more people went along with it. If anything, I think Bayonetta is just a tad more "WHY!?" deserving than this. But that's just me.

I'd never heard of this game but the concept sounds so... juvinile.

Why is shit like this still being made?

Susan Arendt:

Ranooth:

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Its getting quite scary to be honest.

Tell me you don't think those iddy zombies are just totally adorable. Besides, Funk wrote the script, I just read it. I'm only responsible for the ickle bickle cutsies in my own reviews. ;)

Ah zombies are just like pet tigers, there cute to begin with. But they grow up....

Actually, I'm renting it from Gamefly right now out of curiosity. But we all know what that did to the cat...poor kitty. Porn is free on the internet (well, not all of it), but I tend to enjoy the occasional campy fun game. Sadly, this game is not the next Earth Defense Force 2017...It not terrible, but the difficulty is very inconsistent and I'm stuck on the boss of mission 7. If you want half-naked chicks and a good hack and slash, just buy Dynasty Warriors: Gundam and that resort island DOA game whose name eludes me. Next rental...X-Blades...A hack n' slash with a G-String...*sigh* nothing good to rent that I didn't already buy...

Games and Boobs can stay seperate.

Thats what porn is for.

Ranooth:

Susan Arendt:

Ranooth:

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is Susan getting one of these "wikkle cutesy" lines in all the reviews now? :)

Its getting quite scary to be honest.

Tell me you don't think those iddy zombies are just totally adorable. Besides, Funk wrote the script, I just read it. I'm only responsible for the ickle bickle cutsies in my own reviews. ;)

Ah zombies are just like pet tigers, there cute to begin with. But they grow up....

You underestimate just how cute a baby zombie is.
image

I've played this game and it makes X-Blades look like God of War on steroids.

I own the 360 version of Onechanbara, and Im stuck at the end of level 7. I mainly play for stress relief, its fun to sit back and play a somewhat mindless game when you need to unwind.

Holy crap, they made a game for me. There are few things that I like more in life that zombies and scantily clad women... well... scantily clad women covered in blood... and Silent Hill I guess but that's a different topic. It's too bad that the game seems so simple because it seems like the sort of thing I would enjoy. Well actually every once and a while I still enjoy mindlessly killing zombies for an hour or two so who knows, I might still have to pick this up. I loved BloodRain and this couldn't be much worse... Right?

Wanderer1911:
Holy crap, they made a game for me. There are few things that I like more in life that zombies and scantily clad women... well... scantily clad women covered in blood... and Silent Hill I guess but that's a different topic. It's too bad that the game seems so simple because it seems like the sort of thing I would enjoy. Well actually every once and a while I still enjoy mindlessly killing zombies for an hour or two so who knows, I might still have to pick this up. I loved BloodRain and this couldn't be much worse... Right?

Try it. It has its pros and cons...I actually played it for 6 hours since yesterday.

RavingPenguin:
I own the 360 version of Onechanbara, and Im stuck at the end of level 7. I mainly play for stress relief, its fun to sit back and play a somewhat mindless game when you need to unwind.

Stuck there, too.

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