Where Has My Aim Polygone?

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Where Has My Aim Polygone?

It's the only explanation I can think of.

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Haha, yeah I watched the "best of" of that video. It was hilarious. Let me just go straight up to that enemy in order use my shotgun to shoot him straight in the ... ground. Over his shoulder. Multiple times.

"It looks like the kind of footage you'd see playing in black and white over sad violin music before a toll-free number asks you to donate and help save a life today." Fucking hell Grey, you can't just put that in there without any warning. Damn near killed me.

Anyway, yeah, while I like some of what Polygon does a lot - their deep dives and Monster Factory are both delights - that DOOM video was just bad.

Huh, I'll have to go have a gander at this video.

I know one of the LPers I sub on youtube was playing it and trying to take potshots out of cover with the charged pistol. Then wondering why it was so hard. Their series seems to have stalled when the Hell Knights showed up, predictably.

So there's nothing wrong with being the kind of person who only plays games made by people trying to art there way out of game design, but maybe that's not the kind of person you want playing Doom for your game website.

Do you think someone told them that to get the real, true DOOM experience you have to play it for the first time with mouselook turned off?

You know, arrow keys for movement.
Pageup pagedown for looking around.

It would be really sad if it turned out he is an MLG PC player. I've seen some PC guys play on console before, and it looks EXACTLY like that video.

That said, he or she is really rather terrible at the game. I hope that it was a controller issue or perhaps an injury, because a person who plays like that does not belong at a capture event.

Jeez, that video just keeps morphing between hilarious and dire. I hope for the sake of the reviewer that they were trying some kind of Ironman challenge where they could only hold the controller in one hand, or something.

A somewhat political incorrect jab at polygon? Color me pleasantly surprised.

Also very reasonable and fair explanation... and also spot on why people make so much fun of polygon for their horrendously inept video.

That video, lol. I was laughing all the way through the inept part, but when the Nvidia part started and Still from Geto Boys kicked in I fucking lost it.

I got to see what appears to be a five year old play Doom and see Djent get blasted. Pretty good Critical Miss I'd say.

Mikeybb:
Do you think someone told them that to get the real, true DOOM experience you have to play it for the first time with mouselook turned off?

You know, arrow keys for movement.
Pageup pagedown for looking around.

Being able to play recently the second game of Marathon Series, I only used the keyboard. It was surprisingly easy if you get use to it.

Haha, nice to see that everyone of all strokes can agree that Polygon made a mistake putting that video up. Just goes to show that you shouldn't play games with your feet when you are showcasing them for the general public.

SweetShark:

Mikeybb:
Do you think someone told them that to get the real, true DOOM experience you have to play it for the first time with mouselook turned off?

You know, arrow keys for movement.
Pageup pagedown for looking around.

Being able to play recently the second game of Marathon Series, I only used the keyboard. It was surprisingly easy if you get use to it.

For honesty, I started playing Quake back in the day with just keyboard, no mouse. I was pretty damn good at it in deathmatch considering the heavy handicap I had in hindsight. However a friend of mine introduced me to +mlook. I never looked back (and I started playing with a Logitech thumb-trackball and didn't switch to a regular mouse until I bought my first optical mouse by Microsoft... which incidentally had thumb buttons).

Mikeybb:
Do you think someone told them that to get the real, true DOOM experience you have to play it for the first time with mouselook turned off?

You know, arrow keys for movement.
Pageup pagedown for looking around.

That wouldn't so much be the real, true DOOM experience as it would be the real, true Duke Nukem 3d experience or the real, true Heretic/Hexen experience. The original Doom didn't have vertical looking at all because that would have complicated the rendering process. That said, the person in video probably would've been better off that way.

That was the first time I ever saw that Polygon video, and that physically hurt me.

Music was on point for that though.

Well that's what happens when all your content creators are busy with something else and you're absolutely DESPERATE to get a DOOM video out in the first wave of DOOM videos. You stick your head out the office door, see the 60 year old janitor down the hallway, and say "YOU! YOU! GET IN HERE, QUICK!"

So you drag him in, sit his ass in front of a tv, stuff a controller into his hand, and say "Now have at it!"

Wait, how is the new doom more shallow than the original?

"inb4 metal fans claiming you'll never TRULY GRASP the genius of Meshuggah without a doctorate in eight -string-theory chugganomics"
At this point, you guys are just baiting that kind of reaction, thus forming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But the Polygon video, ouch. I thought it should be black-and-white, sped up, and put to old-timey piano music to complete the vaudeville experience.

It's either that explanation, or the player had no previous gaming experience other than Spunkgargleweewees.

There's actually a theory that this was completely intentional in order to create a video that would get lots of clicks as curious people go to see just how crappy the person playing is. :3

I didn't know my dad worked for Polygon.

Worgen:
Wait, how is the new doom more shallow than the original?

Health and ammo come to you instead of being hidden, the blaster has infinite ammo so you can never run out.

On the other hand, the suit and gun mods add scope to experiment in different ways to the old Dooms. So you lose a bit of depth in one aspect, you gain it somewhere else.

I think ammo coming out of enemies is a bit of a step back, it's fair enough as an anti frustration step but some levels of the old Doom specifically had too little ammo in them. You had to figure out how to beat the level without simply blasting everything, which could be somewhat (more) frantic and a change of pace. Maybe making general ammo (bullets, shells) come out of enemies and forcing you to hunt for heavy/plasma ammo would have been a better compromise.

On the other hand health coming out of melee killed enemies is genius. I liked it in Space Marine too since it encourages you to take risks instead of taking the fashionable hide in the corner approach. That's a good way to play a twitch shooter.

fix-the-spade:

Worgen:
Wait, how is the new doom more shallow than the original?

Health and ammo come to you instead of being hidden, the blaster has infinite ammo so you can never run out.

On the other hand, the suit and gun mods add scope to experiment in different ways to the old Dooms. So you lose a bit of depth in one aspect, you gain it somewhere else.

I think ammo coming out of enemies is a bit of a step back, it's fair enough as an anti frustration step but some levels of the old Doom specifically had too little ammo in them. You had to figure out how to beat the level without simply blasting everything, which could be somewhat (more) frantic and a change of pace. Maybe making general ammo (bullets, shells) come out of enemies and forcing you to hunt for heavy/plasma ammo would have been a better compromise.

On the other hand health coming out of melee killed enemies is genius. I liked it in Space Marine too since it encourages you to take risks instead of taking the fashionable hide in the corner approach. That's a good way to play a twitch shooter.

Ehh, I dont buy it. The ammo and health coming out of the enemies allows them to make the enemies more dangerous, on nightmare they hit pretty damn hard and the action is faster than in the old doom so you can't look for health as easily as you used to be able to. Plus the blaster is pretty damn weak, the pistol in the original doom was stronger. Really its inclusion at all was an odd choice since once you get the shotgun, which you will get, you wont use the blaster again except for one trial.

Actually the ammo adds an interesting dynamic, ammo came out of enemies in the original doom also, in fact it came out much more commonly. Just not out of every kind of enemy. Really the only reliable way to get ammo from enemies now is the chain saw, which begs the question, do you use your precious fuel to keep your ammo stocked or wait for something big and annoying that you want removed.

So I have a friend who kind of sucks at video games. Like, really bad. I play games with him, but he brings down even my game (and I am far from some sort of elite gaming amystress). This is a guy who has trouble with Rock Band on easy, constantly needs reviving in co-op shooters, stuff like that.

Right now, he is laughing at that video.

Well, that's exactly what I look like when I try to play a shooter on consoles. KB+M forever.

Man, Doom Guy really developed a drinking problem since the last time we met.

Mikeybb:
Do you think someone told them that to get the real, true DOOM experience you have to play it for the first time with mouselook turned off?

You know, arrow keys for movement.
Pageup pagedown for looking around.

Yeah, but to be fair, Doom 95 also had vertical auto-aim which Doom 4 of course, doesn't have.

A surprisingly good strip. Yes, it plays on the stereotypical view of Polygon that some of us have (I wish their building would collapse at peak work hours), but it's definitely also a reminder that some of us maybe caricature them a bit too much, so this is definitely appreciated. Thank you for being funny about it and bringing some mirth to the scene.

As much as I hate defending Polygon, the player was obviously using a gamepad of some sort, so it's a joke more than a real accusation of the person who played it. I'll grant that they were still shit though, the only "FPS" I've played on console was Condemned 2 (in quotation marks because it's far more melee and horror focused) and I did way better than this person.

As for the defense and the excuse that game journos are now aimed at the mainstream, I have to say that I couldn't disagree more with it being alright, though I understand and respect the opinion.
Do they have to be insanely talented in each of their respective genres? No. But they have to be good, they have to be able to recognize what sets games apart on the high levels of play or if the difficulty of a title is appropriate on medium to the highest levels. As an example (admittedly, I do love bringing this up), Bioshock Infinite was a complete cakewalk and not at all appropriate for challenging the player. It had been better suited with other mechanics that played to a more methodical approach, but it ended up being an in-between that was neither an "approach-puzzler" nor a skill gated shooter.
Journos praised the story to high heaven and while I thought that aspect was good (though confusing, mostly because I couldn't relate), I didn't think it was much fun.
Any decent journalist would've made a comment on it, but no one did, because they wanted to emphasize the good things about it instead. We're left wondering whether it's misguided or deliberate and the trust afforded goes ever downwards.

There is a place for insight, for art and for the other terrific things you can find in games, but it is equally, in my opinion more, important having fun and experiencing legitimate challenge that validates the time and experience you've had in a game. That last bit? That's something that's vastly underrated and almost entirely forgotten in game journalism.

So when it comes to Doom, that video represents something very wrong with the online media and absolutely validates the concerns the core have been voicing for about a decade. It's proof of incompetence and while I take it with a grain of salt, it gives me a measure of relief knowing that we're dealing with pretenders.

Whoever was playing it clearly did suck, but the comparison with Nvidia footage was almost as pathetic; 'derp, let's directly compare footage of some garme jurno game journo with some promo content by folks at a PC components manufacturers and promoter! that'll make sense!'.

The former was clearly played with a pad - and possibly someone not even used to game pads (the LP'er Gopher comes to mind - good with a mouse, hideously bad with a pad till he acclimitises) - whilst the latter was a skilled player with a mouse and at arcade shooters. I'm okay at FPS's, but nu-Doom's pace is too quick for me, and I'd need time to get used to the flow, as I did even with Wolfenstein TNO's action.

I think the potshot at Polygon for diversity was pretty cheap, too - unless someone knows the player in that video was hired on their ethnicity or gender alone.

So, is that why their review of it will contain nothing but commentary on corporate greed and fracking?

(I'm referring to the Penny Arcade strip, of course, but it's a nice dovetail of two otherwise usually ideologically-opposite gaming comics.)

Darth Rosenberg:
I think the potshot at Polygon for diversity was pretty cheap, too - unless someone knows the player in that video was hired on their ethnicity or gender alone.

i have to agree with you. He could have been hired due to his knowledge of filipino politics.

The first, and I think still only time, I played a FPS with a controller was when a friend we were visiting wanted to do a Halo multiplayer deathmatch against me. I pretty much looked like this. I just couldn't get a decent shot off.

The thing was that my family was visting him because his dad just died. So I thought this was a good time to be quiet and suck it up, if he was enjoying himself.

Is it too much to ask, that the reviewer of the game has at least some basic competences?

I mean Arthur Gies (the clown who's playing in that Polygon vid) apparently can't even aim, and that'd be equivalent to having Chris Harris review a VW Golf without knowing how to change gears.

Bob_McMillan:
It would be really sad if it turned out he is an MLG PC player. I've seen some PC guys play on console before, and it looks EXACTLY like that video.

I was thinking the exact same thing. It reminds me of when I played halo on a console. Granted, it looks like they don't quite get the tactics for the game, so they may be used to one of the third person shooters or something, too.

My biggest concern about all of this is that polygon did it on purpose either as a lesson to one of their own staff or as an effort to generate controversy because the 'git gud' gamer response is perfect fodder for rage articles. I feel like this is one of those manufactured scandals that gets clicks: the less attention we pay to it, the better.

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