#138: Purpose

Don't question the giant glowing crystal.

so, basically, she joined up for no other reason then a glowing rock asked her to, and her own need to be 'accepted'.

I'm ok with this.

The glowing rock is starting to sound like a dick.

Or, IDK, maybe Rose Quartz.
Targeting people at their lowest.

...
It occurs to me that that poor crystal's not even in the wrong, really. 'Elemental Crystal of Light' kinda reads fine if you just realise Elemental doesn't have to mean 'light element' in this context, just, you know, fundamental. Like say, a pillar of the natural order.

These crystals sure adhere to the Kansas style of science education, the other elements really need to reign this in. This is way you need protected terms. Otherwise you get any old chancer calling themelves an element and sending the emotionally vulnerable on poorly defined quests.

Erin. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job that she doesn't want.
FlutterMage. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job she's not at all suited for.

What's the lesson?

which final fantasy starts off this *exact* same way? is it the first one or second one?

BX3:
Erin. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job that she doesn't want.
FlutterMage. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job she's not at all suited for.

What's the lesson?

The lesson is, if some Giant Crystal thing wants you to be "Chosen" to go on some ill defined quest and decides to be a dick to the people it supposedly needs to do it's bidding, the thing to do is tell it to go F*** itself?

I'm in the ballpark at least.

gmaverick019:
which final fantasy starts off this *exact* same way? is it the first one or second one?

Final Fantasy 3 starts off sort of like this, but with the rest the Crystals are kinda just "there" to be used as plot tokens for the bad guys to either steal and use or destroy. Crystals haven't really been a part of the Final Fantasy series for a long time, unless you count Bravely Default/Second.

Oh crap, mods please merge.

immortalfrieza:

BX3:
Erin. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job that she doesn't want.
FlutterMage. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job she's not at all suited for.

What's the lesson?

The lesson is, if some Giant Crystal thing wants you to be "Chosen" to go on some ill defined quest and decides to be a dick to the people it supposedly needs to do it's bidding, the thing to do is tell it to go F*** itself?

I'm in the ballpark at least.

What's that? "Thief class"?
Well, like, if you insist!

BX3:

immortalfrieza:

BX3:
Erin. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job that she doesn't want.
FlutterMage. Pedantically questions crystal. Gets a job she's not at all suited for.

What's the lesson?

The lesson is, if some Giant Crystal thing wants you to be "Chosen" to go on some ill defined quest and decides to be a dick to the people it supposedly needs to do it's bidding, the thing to do is tell it to go F*** itself?

I'm in the ballpark at least.

What's that? "Thief class"?
Well, like, if you insist!

If the Crystal is going to be a dick then it can go do it's own dirty work. Oh! It can't? It has to use once in a millennium "Chosen Ones" to do anything? I guess it better treat them right then.

immortalfrieza:

gmaverick019:
which final fantasy starts off this *exact* same way? is it the first one or second one?

Final Fantasy 3 starts off sort of like this, but with the rest the Crystals are kinda just "there" to be used as plot tokens for the bad guys to either steal and use or destroy. Crystals haven't really been a part of the Final Fantasy series for a long time, unless you count Bravely Default/Second.

Oh crap, mods please merge.

5 also kinda pulls this, except the crystal(all of them, actually) shatters when you reach them and the shards give you the jobs. Because picking up sharp pieces of broken glass gives you superpowers, kids!

Yeah, didn't X pretty much jettison the whole crytal part of the series? And I'm assuming we're not counting the "Turn to crystal" part of the plot in XIII.

immortalfrieza:

gmaverick019:
which final fantasy starts off this *exact* same way? is it the first one or second one?

Final Fantasy 3 starts off sort of like this, but with the rest the Crystals are kinda just "there" to be used as plot tokens for the bad guys to either steal and use or destroy. Crystals haven't really been a part of the Final Fantasy series for a long time, unless you count Bravely Default/Second.

Oh crap, mods please merge.

14. Hydaelyn (the crystal) is a huge part of it's story.

That blue-headed turkey / cassowary doll on Althea's bed. Want.

"Hey! I wanted to be a pyromancer!"
"Screw you! If you can't be bothered to listen to my epic backstory that I spent over a week writing, you're gonna be the healer!"

I thought Chosen Ones were like, the best at their stuff?
Guess this Crystal was slumming it and just barged into the first house with a light on.
That way it can get back ASAP to it's own life, which consists of smoking smaller crystals.

Yes, he IS sort of a cannibal...

Tanis:
The glowing rock is starting to sound like a dick.

Or, IDK, maybe Rose Quartz.
Targeting people at their lowest.

I read it more as "backstory detected > initiate recruitment."

Kenjitsuka:
I thought Chosen Ones were like, the best at their stuff?
Guess this Crystal was slumming it and just barged into the first house with a light on.
That way it can get back ASAP to it's own life, which consists of smoking smaller crystals.

Yes, he IS sort of a cannibal...

Crystal of Light: Hey, Steve was the one with the list of "which character is good at what". Unfortunately Steve is now 197 cans of Diet Cherry Vanilla Crystal Cola Classic, so excuse me for taking what I can get.

LenticularHomicide:
That blue-headed turkey / cassowary doll on Althea's bed. Want.

That is clearly a Figurine of Wondrous Power which can be enlarged and ridden as a mount with the proper command word. Seen HERE in Erin Dies Alone #105: Mighty Steed.

I have a D&D campaign running now with a similar Ebony Fly as the "mighty steed". The command phrase is written on the bottom. It is "Made in China".

Dalisclock:

5 also kinda pulls this, except the crystal(all of them, actually) shatters when you reach them and the shards give you the jobs. Because picking up sharp pieces of broken glass gives you superpowers, kids!

Yeah, but only in 3 did the Crystals actually talk to people. I don't think the Crystals have been an actual character before or since that point.

Yeah, didn't X pretty much jettison the whole crytal part of the series? And I'm assuming we're not counting the "Turn to crystal" part of the plot in XIII.

As a matter of fact, I think 5 was the last game to really use Crystals, with 6,7,8,9,10,12, and the 13 trilogy not featuring them. There's some side games like Crystal Chronicles and Bravely Default/Second that had some sort of Crystal based plot, but in general Crystals haven't really been in the Final Fantasy series for most of it's existence.

immortalfrieza:

gmaverick019:
which final fantasy starts off this *exact* same way? is it the first one or second one?

Final Fantasy 3 starts off sort of like this, but with the rest the Crystals are kinda just "there" to be used as plot tokens for the bad guys to either steal and use or destroy. Crystals haven't really been a part of the Final Fantasy series for a long time, unless you count Bravely Default/Second.

Oh crap, mods please merge.

you're right! I remember playing a mobile version of one of the early FF's back in college, but that definitely sounds right.

Tanis:
The glowing rock is starting to sound like a dick.

Or, IDK, maybe Rose Quartz.
Targeting people at their lowest.

You mean the Elemental Crystal of Light is actually the lesser of two evils in this situation? If only [REDACTED] understood why...

OT: Wow... Who knew ECoL was always giving certain individuals purpose regardless if they kept talking back or not...

Other than that, I just realized that if that was actually the Elemental Crystal of Light Industries, then the abbreviation would be... *gasp*

ECoLI!
image

Confirmed: The Crystal of Light is going to be the character that comes out of this game to join Erin on her couch. :3

This reminds of waaaay back when DC comics had their own message board and I was a regular visitor when I made a similar joke. OK some backstory: Before the new 52 reboot the JLA was.....lacking in the big name department. All of the famous superheroes like Supes, Bats, WW, GL, etc were either dead or busy so the roster was pretty much filled up with the more grown up versions of their sidekicks, Nightwing as Batman, Supergirl, Donna Troy in place of WW, etc. But the funny thing was the Flash aka Wally West wasn't really doing much of anything at the time yet instead of him they got a lesser known speedster named Jesse Quick. OK explanation done, insert joke here:

Nightwing/Batman: Thanks for the help today Jesse, we could really use a speedster on the team so would you like to join the JLA?
Jesse Quick: Wow, thanks it's a big honor and all but isn't one of your best friends the Flash? Why didn't you ask him to join?
Nightwing/Batman: Look do you want to join the JLA or not?!
Jesse Quick: Aw right aw right yes I'll be happy to join.................Batjerk.

Sorry had to get that memory out of my system, thanks for reading.

Lunar Templar:
so, basically, she joined up for no other reason then a glowing rock asked her to, and her own need to be 'accepted'.

I'm ok with this.

Waaaaaiiiiiiiitaminute, isn't that how terrorists get recruits? And what is it that Landslide, who are fighting FOR the Crystals, are classified as?

I think the problem here is that everyone keeps assuming "elements" is referring to "periodic table" elements, when that's hardly the only definition of the word, and it's obviously not the definition the crystal means when calling Light an element.

altnameJag:

Kenjitsuka:
I thought Chosen Ones were like, the best at their stuff?
Guess this Crystal was slumming it and just barged into the first house with a light on.
That way it can get back ASAP to it's own life, which consists of smoking smaller crystals.

Yes, he IS sort of a cannibal...

Crystal of Light: Hey, Steve was the one with the list of "which character is good at what". Unfortunately Steve is now 197 cans of Diet Cherry Vanilla Crystal Cola Classic, so excuse me for taking what I can get.

Lol!!!
Now I see how it makes perfect sense after all! ;)

Palpatine's The Crystals are behind it all!

 

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