Zero Punctuation: Watch_Dogs 2

Watch_Dogs 2

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Watch_Dogs 2.

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I remember that time when Yahtzee would call out sequels that have only a number next to the tile, but after events like Battlefield 1, he basically breathes a sigh of relief when he sees those things there for the sake of keeping them simple.

I also find interesting that the talk about the dangers of hacking only come when there is a game about that subject on the market, kinda like the Purge talk only happens where one of those movies get released, but while one of those things deserves merit for raising awareness, the other is stupid and will never happen/work/make an interesting product.

Candidate for his Mediocre Top 5?

So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

I dunno, half the younger generation I am subjected to hear waffle on do tend to parrot memes and quips like some reference activated furbies. And thinking back to younger days with friends, am pretty sure we were no better...except there were no memes, just references. Damn, so dumb.

Anyway, I had much fun with the buttons for calling the police or street gangs to sort out anybody who looked at me funny. One biker dude kept getting all up my face for no reason (probably cos I was black, but you know), so I just gave him a gift that keeps on giving. Aka; a murder warrant for his arrest. Then I sat back, in a remote control crane, lifting slowly up into the air, crying "bow before your new lord and hack saviour!"

Did not go down the way I'd hoped.

Smithnikov:
So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

With a side of "Hack the planet!".

Smithnikov:
So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

I think it's more like "What old men think Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

Biggest laugh I got out of this was the crack on Bay Area traffic, because it's so true. Our traffic on the freeways is just God-awful! And I agree with what Yahtzee said about tone. It would improve storytelling in a lot of games like this if player characters ponder the validity of their actions if they're supposed to be a "good guy" and they mow down whole precincts of police.
As for not including Berkeley and its University (of which there are more locations throughout the State, including UCSF), in a game where driving like a maniac and going on shooting sprees are possible, I think that would beg for controversy and Ubisoft made a good call.

Does the audio cut out at 1:05 for anyone else?

Darth_Payn:
Biggest laugh I got out of this was the crack on Bay Area traffic, because it's so true. Our traffic on the freeways is just God-awful! And I agree with what Yahtzee said about tone. It would improve storytelling in a lot of games like this if player characters ponder the validity of their actions if they're supposed to be a "good guy" and they mow down whole precincts of police.
As for not including Berkeley and its University (of which there are more locations throughout the State, including UCSF), in a game where driving like a maniac and going on shooting sprees are possible, I think that would beg for controversy and Ubisoft made a good call.

Hey man don't hate on the Bay Area too much, they gave birth to Thrash Metal:

What's with Yahtzee harping on female protagonists recently? He went on and on about it in the last video and he still mentions it in the beginning of this one.

Yeah, either gunplay is too ubiquitous in city-roaming open world games, or Ubisoft is just too unwilling to break formula, but the gunplay really shouldn't have been in the game (especially considering how half-assedly it was implemented).

It's funny that right before Yahtzee mentioned the movie Hackers, I was thinking that the devs must have gotten all their ideas of hacking and hackers from the movie Hackers.

He says it is a fun improvement on the original gameplay wise. I guess it is on my radar then.

Well, hey, at least the trailers, ads and the gameplay presentation that I saw at E3 were honest this time around regarding a video game! The premise looked borked from the get go and gosh if they didn't deliver. My head hurts from all the eye-rolling whenever I heard the ad go "Hello world, I'm a hacker" then snap cut to the guy blowing up a police car with an assault rifle.

Thanatos2k:

Smithnikov:
So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

I think it's more like "What old men think Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

This. So much cringe as I watched the Let's Plays of the game.

And this is assuming that "hackers" even have a culture or one that is in the slightest way interesting to the general public.

Heck, it's probably just a bunch of teens with too much time (and not enough money) in their rooms looking through copy protected video games and media files with a hex editor trying to break the said protection to post on warez sites for bragging rights from other such teens - that and shitposting on message boards.

It's not anything with grave consequences (except for video game and media companies) that the general public will care about.

The 'Ubisoft Sequel' approach Yahtzee described is probably one of the things holding the game back. Aiden Pierce was criticized for being an unlikeable violent hypocrite so they changed it to Marcus Holloway, a (more) likable hacker who's somewhat on the right side but doesn't mind a little violent catharsis every now and again.

It's sort of sad that the industry doesn't know how to make empathetic (not sympathetic) anti-heroes anymore. There used to be a time when this industry was able to master this sort of thing like with Kratos (at least in the 1st game), but now the protagonists are either likeable but bland or unlikeable and horrific.

(Maybe Rufus from the Deponia series is a step upwards? I'm not sure).

Burnouts3s3:
The 'Ubisoft Sequel' approach Yahtzee described is probably one of the things holding the game back. Aiden Pierce was criticized for being an unlikeable violent hypocrite so they changed it to Marcus Holloway, a (more) likable hacker who's somewhat on the right side but doesn't mind a little violent catharsis every now and again.

It's sort of sad that the industry doesn't know how to make empathetic (not sympathetic) anti-heroes anymore. There used to be a time when this industry was able to master this sort of thing like with Kratos (at least in the 1st game), but now the protagonists are either likeable but bland or unlikeable and horrific.

(Maybe Rufus from the Deponia series is a step upwards? I'm not sure).

Or to put it simply, the industry can't write a decent story to save their lives.

There's only so many times you can clock someone in the head with a billiard ball on a bungee cord while shouting "8 Ball, corner pocket!" at your monitor before you get bored, and kill everything with a pink AK.

You can say what you wany about the first W_D, but atleast it didn't try to be this edgy.
Shame though, if the main cast was diffirent I might've liked this game.

Sometimes I get tempted to go back and just mess around in Watch_Dogs, so it's nice that the core gameplay is improved. However, the cast makes me want to put my head through a wall, so I don't think I'll touch this.

yahtzee wasnt lying about the cast being so bad you want to gorge your eyes out and burn your ears.

Thanatos2k:

Smithnikov:
So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

I think it's more like "What old men think Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

To be fair, it's not like /b/ hasn't more than earned its reputation for being filled with stupid ass kiddies and creepy old men.

image

sagitel:
yahtzee wasnt lying about the cast being so bad you want to gorge your eyes out and burn your ears.
-YT snip-

Someone tried too hard to be Max Headroom.

sagitel:
yahtzee wasnt lying about the cast being so bad you want to gorge your eyes out and burn your ears.

I've seen worse.

Darth_Payn:
Biggest laugh I got out of this was the crack on Bay Area traffic, because it's so true. Our traffic on the freeways is just God-awful! -snip-

Yahtzee continues to be topical about the place where he lives. That always strikes me as a lot funnier than it should be too. Yahtzee: "I hate fans in general and I don't want mine to approach me during my daily life." Yahtzee: Blurts out name of current town he's based in and a bunch of topical stuff about it. Freaking nitwit.

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime:
Freaking nitwit.

You certainly are good sir! First you call the fifth largest city in America a town, and then try and convince us that you would be able to locate one person out of the other 8.7m with ease. Perhaps you are counting on your magic-wand-phone?

I predicted Watch_Dogs 2 would be shite. I think I'm starting to gain Yahtzee's powers of clairvoyance.

Fuck Ubisoft.

Arnoxthe1:

Thanatos2k:

Smithnikov:
So it's "What Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

I think it's more like "What old men think Anonymous and 4chan think they are. The Game."

To be fair, it's not like /b/ hasn't more than earned its reputation for being filled with stupid ass kiddies and creepy old men.

image

What the hell is /B/...?

Sorry old habit.

Can you visit the house from Charmed?

4Aces:

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime:
Freaking nitwit.

You certainly are good sir! First you call the fifth largest city in America a town, and then try and convince us that you would be able to locate one person out of the other 8.7m with ease. Perhaps you are counting on your magic-wand-phone?

Way to read exactly what I didn't say into my post, because A: The difference between town and city is just a semantic one, arguing over it is pointless. B: I never said that I could find him, nor did I try to convince anyone that I could find him.

Yahtzee's rabid stalker fans who spend hours scouring public records on the other hand, they can find him. Yahtzee gives out enough hints for those people to get a solid start on tracking him down.

Also good job gendering someone with the Japanese word for princess in their name as male.

Called the ridiculous characters from the second I saw the first trailer. Pretty sure I blurted out "Who the fuck talks like that?" Aiden was a touch too melodramatic and annoyingly "gritty" but at least there were a couple halfway decent characters in the first game.

I was really hoping this would be a case of AssCreed II, where they managed to learn well enough from their mistakes to make a really good sequel because the core concept of Watch Dogs is really interesting and relevant and the gameplay was decent fun. More and more though, it just seems like Ubisoft has lost the plot. Oh well.

Kaamos:
What's with Yahtzee harping on female protagonists recently? He went on and on about it in the last video and he still mentions it in the beginning of this one.

It's probably more due to the fact said female protagonists are solely there because of creepy mechanical duplicates of humans in the marketing department demanded it than a writer saying "hey! I have cool idea for a character! Also, she's female."

It's kinda-like Bethesda and Bioware's giving the protagonists family members, set backstories and set personalities while still being inferior to the barely animate sprites in Fallout 1 where the abomination that looks like offspring of William Birkin and Hal 9000 created from their experimental study of "love" was a thousand times more human than the entirety of Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age: Inquisition and Fallout 4 combined as they try to imitate "hoomen-man" emotions with awkwardness only matched by a massive family reunion in which a racist 90 year old German talks about non-whites suffering and has an erection big enough to impale a roast chicken, which has indeed been demonstrated, only on a live one instead, and all your family members are either victims or direct descendants of victims of NAZI atrocities by complete coincidence BECAUSE THE CHICKEN FUCKING NAZI WASN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH.

It's like the dev team just don't understand people. That said there is one good thing about the story in that the villain is a hipster, and killing hipsters is always a plus.

I quite like Watch_Dogs 2 as a hipster simulator set in the Bay Area. The RC car and the drone add a lot of fun to this title that more than nods its head to, say, Deus Ex.

Bad things to be mentioned: Only one acceptable track on the whole soundtrack, driving vehicles is still arse and I personally lost all interest in the game about halfway through the final efforts, as I felt the game pulled a Harry Potter on me and just refused to stop.

 

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