Zero Punctuation: Top Five Games of 2016

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Top Five Games of 2016

This week, the annual Top 5 lists.

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Stardew Valley is excellent, and it's got interesting content coming out of it's ears. Definitely my favourite game of the year.

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Top Five

Salt and Sanctuary was always a bit of a shoe in, it's 2D Dark Souls, can't go wrong. Lore's a bit weak, but that's like saying a brand new sports car has a lousy paint job. Yeah it sucks, but it's easy to get around.

Wait seriously? Titanfall 2? I mean I'm not complaining, it's just that the impression I got from his video was that he thought it was basically ok.

Stardew Valley does look really cute. I got it off of Humble Bundle, I really need to try it.

*Tilts head* Furi? I mean I'm most of the way through it and it's far from a bad game but is it #2 great? I don't remember his video that well so maybe he liked it more than I remember...or maybe this was just a lousy year for games. (Yup he does say that towards the end)

Well this was fairly obvious, although I do recall him being fairly lukewarm towards it, but then again this time it makes a bit more sense. I'm glad Doom is getting so much respect. It has problems sure, but hopefully all the positive reception will encourage more devs to make games like it where those problems can be ironed out.

Blandest:

Yeah, I have very mixed things about Mankind Divided, should've seen this coming.

Oh shit, I totally forgot Quantum Break was a thing. Guess that's why it's here.

God what did they do to Paper Mario?

Yeah...I never really got what they were going for there. Far Cry 3 was exciting and new when it first came out, then 4 kind of wore out the good will a fair bit, and then they decided to take out all the guns? I mean a stone age game is something I'd like to see done, but not with Far Cry's gameplay mechanics.

Well...I think we all knew this was going to be covered in this video, one way or another.

Worst:

Devil's Five did strike me as MGS except even less stable, so I'm more surprised it didn't rank worse.

Welp, I'm never one to pass up on jumping on Federation Force, seriously that game just comes off as a slap in the face. I suppose I would've been easier on it if it hadn't been the game to end the nearly decade long Metroid drought, but games don't exist in a vacuum.

Huh. Would've thought that game would've been in the boring section.

Overpriced bullshit, earns it.

That bad huh? Granted people did seem pissed about it, although frankly it was a non-entity on my radar.

Conclusion:

Not the best year huh Yahtzee? What a year to graduate...

Wow. This is the first year in which I have none of the ZP Top 5 Best (although I played a bit of Furi on PS Plus).
It's also another year in which I won't be playing 3/5 of them because I'm hardly a Dark Souls fan (although I did get Dark Souls 3 because it has a gradual difficulty curve) and I'm not a fan of calm resource-gathering games (except for Don't Starve, which looks like a creepy cartoon).
I'm also not at all fond of stealth games (except for Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episode 2, in which you can stay completely invisible indefinitely), so I didn't bother with Alien:Isolation much and SOMA at all. WB ruined my small interest in Shadow of Mordor.

Maybe I'm just getting tired of video games.
My lack of discretionary spending money is also a factor, since I will still get these two good shooters and The Witcher 3 eventually.

I just discovered a few months ago that Devil's Third was a semi-Duke Nukem Forever, with a bit of Too Human sprinkled in. You got a team of former Tecmo people (Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden) that was initially a XB360 exclusive, then it was on all non-Nintendo platforms of last gen, then Satoru Iwata gave it the green light, mainly because there was nothing else online coming to the Wii U.

Then Nintendo of America desperately tried to keep that game from coming here, because they remembered Disaster: Day of Crisis, by getting rid of all of the announcements. But then they had to damage control the backlash of that when people got wind of that (whoa boy E3 2015 was quite the day). And the developer still went on to blame Nintendo for letting the reviews out before the sales (you know, like most companies are supposed to do).

I'm only saying this because this was the last time people will ever talk about that game.

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Furi was in my top games this year as well. Not much else was quite as memorable. I still haven't got around to buying Doom yet. Played the demo, and wasn't overly impressed. I did buy and play Salt and Sanctuary, and it makes me wish they'd re-release both Dishwasher games on Steam.

I played Stardew valley and liked it...so I guess that's something. I am kind of happy to see it on top 5/10 lists. Actually, yeah, that's about the only game I played this year on any of these lists.

I kind of figured Doom would be no.1. I also expected that Bombshell would be somewhere in the worst games pile, but 'twas nowhere to be seen.

Hmmm... Not a Souls fan myself but I did really enjoy Salt and Sanctuary.

Didn't really play anything else listed in the video.

Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

Igor-Rowan:

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Let me add to that by saying Metroid fans, wake up. Your franchise was always a snore fest made to pander to sci-for nerds. It only attracts the Halo crowd.

LordTerminal:
Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

Essentially you want Yahtzee blacklisted because he has opinions that don't march in lockstep with yours. I really don't understand what the point of looking up other people's opinions are if you're only looking for ones that you agree with.

LordTerminal:

Igor-Rowan:

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Let me add to that by saying Metroid fans, wake up. Your franchise was always a snore fest made to pander to sci-for nerds. It only attracts the Halo crowd.

It only attracts fans of a franchise that wasn't created until fifteen years after Metroid...I'm having a hard time following that line of logic. How does that work? When I first played Super Metroid, Halo wasn't a thing yet. I'm also having a hard time understanding why you viciously bash Metroid and Metroid fans yet also get mad at Yahtzee for not liking Federation Force.

LordTerminal:
Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

He clearly wants the company to only make what he wants.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

I thought we were over this tripe after the vicious user based bashing you got. He's entitled to his own opinion, stop giving a fuck about what he thinks. "Blacklist?" cause he dislikes some Nintendo games and found others mediocre instead of bad? Who cares? Who caaaaaaaaaaaaares? His opinion shouldn't matter to you. You shouldn't be seeking validation on someone on the internet who doesn't care what you think. It's like getting mad at people who don't like the same paint brand as you.

I was about to compliment that you were doing better after the warnings you got, but a quick look at your post history reminds me that it's not until Yahtzee talks about Nintendo that gets you all up in a knot about him. I love Nintendo as much as the next guy, but I can tell you a little secret... They make shit games too you know.

OT: Furi was an interesting thing I didn't expect to see on his list. It caught my eye a little on the PSN, another guy I'm subbed to praised it a lot, and now Yahtzee? Maybe I should give it another look

erttheking:

LordTerminal:

Igor-Rowan:

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Let me add to that by saying Metroid fans, wake up. Your franchise was always a snore fest made to pander to sci-for nerds. It only attracts the Halo crowd.

It only attracts fans of a franchise that wasn't created until fifteen years after Metroid...I'm having a hard time following that line of logic. How does that work? When I first played Super Metroid, Halo wasn't a thing yet. I'm also having a hard time understanding why you viciously bash Metroid and Metroid fans yet also get mad at Yahtzee for not liking Federation Force.

By Halo fan base I mean the same people that made that popular. A bunch of dumb loudmouth jocks that only want to play shooters.

My reasons for bashing Metroid are a bit more personal but as to why I don't like Yahtzee hating on FF is simple. He's clearly just pandering to every f*cker that wanted to hate this from Day 1. I don't think ANY of the people who gave it negative reviews actually played it and are just basing their opinion on what the public wants to hear.

LordTerminal:
Snip

Just want to play shooters? You do know that one of the contenders for best Metroid game is Super Metroid right? And that it's not a first person shooter? Hell, the shift to FPS with Prime was a change that the fanbase DIDN'T like at first. It was only after it was revealed that the core of what made Metroid a good series was intact, with a whole new level of story added, that it became one of the more beloved entries in the franchise.

Or, and this might come as a shock...he honestly didn't like it. I mean seriously, it has nothing of what made the previous entries liked on display. Why should he like it? You think they didn't actually play it? Ok. Unless you can actually prove it that doesn't mean much.

LordTerminal:

Igor-Rowan:

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Let me add to that by saying Metroid fans, wake up. Your franchise was always a snore fest made to pander to sci-for nerds. It only attracts the Halo crowd.

Metroid Prime is not a meathead shooter. Even the one I've played, Hunters, which includes a multiplayer mode and toned down the atmosphere and puzzles, is not a meathead shooter. Your comparison makes no sense.

Hey, hey, Final Fantasy left unscathed this year!

That burn on No Man's Sky at the end...oh man, I haven't laughed that hard at one of his videos in a while.

I always enjoy watching Yahtzee's Top 5 videos. Reminds me of all the things that I've totally forgotten about, and I like the inclusion of Blandest now.

I actually just finished Titanfall 2 last night, and I didn't think it was that good. Here we have a giant robot in the middle of a giant robot war, and we barely use the robot, and barely fight in the war. There's what, 1 or 2 large battles with more than 2 robots fighting? Start of the last mission there's like 2mins of robot squad 1 vs evil robot squad, and it was fun. And then it ended and back to boring one-on-one combat with shotguns that last 10secs.
The free running infantry parts were fun, but all it was was tutorials for the multiplayer.

Also its too short. The story is only like 5 hours long! That's shit! That'd get you to like Elizabeth in Bioshock Infinite, or maybe to being a Specter in Mass Effect.

Playing through Doom now, and I'm unimpressed. Audio/gameplay bugs aside(which are major, I should point out. No voices means I just see people moving their mouthes. No sound, no immersion, no idea what's going on, who I am, where I am, who anyone is, nothing. I think I'm trying to help some skinny lady stop the daemons, because she keeps showing up to unlock doors and I allinged a dish to talk to her, but no idea. And enemies clipping into rocks and walls is just silly) its really repetitive and dull. Oh, shoot, glory kill, shoot, glory kill, shoot, glory kill, shoot, glory kill. Oh, I cleared the entire room in seconds and took no damage, and only used my infinite ammo pistol...how...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And the grenades are pathetic. I actually laughed the first time I used one.

Furi I might look into.

LordTerminal:
Puts Metroid in Worst instead of Star Fox and puts Color Splash in blandest. More proof that Yahtzee should be blacklisted from Nintendo because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I played Color Splash and can tell you he clearly stopped at the goddamn first chapter and didn't even bother to play the whole way through or he'd know the writing from the older games is still in.
And that's just one example of what's wrong with his review.

HE CLEARLY WANTS THE COMPANY TO ONLY MAKE WHAT HE WANTS.

Then again he also put Mankind Divided in the bland spot which tells me he should be blacklisted from reviewing in general.

I now officially hate everything on his good list because of this tripe.

Bolded and all caps emphasis mine for the hypocrisy factor.

You know he's allowed to make whatever list he goddamn pleases, right? I actually like No Man's Sky, but you don't see me throwing a fit because Yahtzee doesn't agree with me.

Also, calling for someone to be blacklisted (thus losing their job) because you didn't like their Top 5's list is rather petty, wouldn't you agree? Save that vitriol for outlets that are actually reprehensible, like Kotaku.

LordTerminal:

By Halo fan base I mean the same people that made that popular. A bunch of dumb loudmouth jocks that only want to play shooters.

Wow, way to over-generalize. I was a Halo fan for well over a decade (until Microsoft and 343 Industries took the series in a direction I didn't like), and I can confidently say my pasty, introverted nerd ass is about as far removed from the "jock" stereotype as you can get. And no, I didn't play it because I "only wanted to play shooters." I played it for the story and setting in the single player campaign and hardly even touched the multiplayer.

Not all fans enjoy the same things about the subject of their fandom. I hope I didn't shatter your world view too hard with that revelation.

I liked Shitbulb. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't the greatest game. After all, you do play as a light bulb with shit on it. I am just a contrarian who like ambitious failures over bland, mediocre games.

Speaking of which, did anyone noticed that Overrated wasn't on any of the list? I'm sorry. I meant Overwatch wasn't mentioned in the video. I might be too harsh about the game, because I am not a fan of online shooters. They are just too repetitious, and filled with people who are too obsessed with the game to enjoy competing against.

erttheking:

LordTerminal:
Snip

Just want to play shooters? You do know that one of the contenders for best Metroid game is Super Metroid right? And that it's not a first person shooter? Hell, the shift to FPS with Prime was a change that the fanbase DIDN'T like at first. It was only after it was revealed that the core of what made Metroid a good series was intact, with a whole new level of story added, that it became one of the more beloved entries in the franchise.

So basically you admit the franchise has an unpleasable
group of whiners then? You know what else had Metroid's core elements? A rare gem of an NES game called The Guardian Legend and it did everything the first Metroid did but better. Now why isn't that a long running franchise instead?

I've played Super Metroid and I honestly think most of its fame is based off of nostalgia anyways. Because I felt nothing for it.

LordTerminal:

erttheking:

LordTerminal:
Snip

Just want to play shooters? You do know that one of the contenders for best Metroid game is Super Metroid right? And that it's not a first person shooter? Hell, the shift to FPS with Prime was a change that the fanbase DIDN'T like at first. It was only after it was revealed that the core of what made Metroid a good series was intact, with a whole new level of story added, that it became one of the more beloved entries in the franchise.

So basically you admit the franchise has an unpleasable
group of whiners then? You know what else had Metroid's core elements? A rare gem of an NES game called The Guardian Legend and it did everything the first Metroid did but better. Now why isn't that a long running franchise instead?

Because it was developed by a minor Japanese developer whose most successful game was Puyo Puyo, and aside from that made almost exclusively shoot 'em ups.

Did anyone else notice Yahtzee actually come very close to breaking character and laughing at the "chihuahua/spiral staircase" joke?

KissingSunlight:
I liked Shitbulb. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't the greatest game. After all, you do play as a light bulb with shit on it. I am just a contrarian who like ambitious failures over bland, mediocre games.

Speaking of which, did anyone noticed that Overrated wasn't on any of the list? I'm sorry. I meant Overwatch wasn't mentioned in the video. I might be too harsh about the game, because I am not a fan of online shooters. They are just too repetitious, and filled with people who are too obsessed with the game to enjoy competing against.

Indeed, that was one of the first things I noticed, so much so that I went out and checked to make sure that I was remembering correctly and that Overwatch actually did come out this year, and not on December 29th 2015 or some damn thing. But no, solidly in mid-2016. I thought for sure Yahtzee would find a spot on some list or another for a game whose primary appeal is based on marketing hype rather than any actual substance, but then again, I'm also just a contrarian who enjoys the affirmation I get when other people see what I regard to be fairly obvious glaring flaws in inexplicably popular things, so I'm probably a biased source.

LordTerminal, please calm down before you post, maybe it'll help you come somewhere close to actually making sense.

LordTerminal:

erttheking:

LordTerminal:
Snip

Just want to play shooters? You do know that one of the contenders for best Metroid game is Super Metroid right? And that it's not a first person shooter? Hell, the shift to FPS with Prime was a change that the fanbase DIDN'T like at first. It was only after it was revealed that the core of what made Metroid a good series was intact, with a whole new level of story added, that it became one of the more beloved entries in the franchise.

So basically you admit the franchise has an unpleasable
group of whiners then? You know what else had Metroid's core elements? A rare gem of an NES game called The Guardian Legend and it did everything the first Metroid did but better. Now why isn't that a long running franchise instead?

I've played Super Metroid and I honestly think most of its fame is based off of nostalgia anyways. Because I felt nothing for it.

Uh, I said that the game was considered to be one of the best of the franchise. So no. The fanbase was very much pleased. Fuck, it isn't hard to please Metroid fans, people adored AM2R and it was just an old school Metroid side scroller put together by fans. That's cool, but did The Guardian Legend innovate and improve on its mechanics like Metroid did?

Well good for you, your opinion isn't universal. I've talked to plenty of people who didn't play it when they young and thought that it had aged very well.

Most people have already forgotten about Mankind Divided.

Nice list Yahtzee, can't wait for the, "Phew, coast is clear" gang of games to slide out of the AAA asshole.

New microphone? Your voice sounds different in this one.

erttheking:

Uh, I said that the game was considered to be one of the best of the franchise. So no. The fanbase was very much pleased. Fuck, it isn't hard to please Metroid fans, people adored AM2R and it was just an old school Metroid side scroller put together by fans.

A pointless old school side scroller made only out of spite as well as a remake of a game that didn't need to be remade. Why couldn't these guys make an original IP instead of just some vanity project for Metroid fans?

Igor-Rowan:
I just discovered a few months ago that Devil's Third was a semi-Duke Nukem Forever, with a bit of Too Human sprinkled in. You got a team of former Tecmo people (Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden) that was initially a XB360 exclusive, then it was on all non-Nintendo platforms of last gen, then Satoru Iwata gave it the green light, mainly because there was nothing else online coming to the Wii U.

Then Nintendo of America desperately tried to keep that game from coming here, because they remembered Disaster: Day of Crisis, by getting rid of all of the announcements. But then they had to damage control the backlash of that when people got wind of that (whoa boy E3 2015 was quite the day). And the developer still went on to blame Nintendo for letting the reviews out before the sales (you know, like most companies are supposed to do).

I'm only saying this because this was the last time people will ever talk about that game.

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Devil's Third at least didn't piss all over a once great franchise. Speaking of which i'm really surprised Star Fox Zero was nowhere to be found on this list.

LordTerminal:

Igor-Rowan:

Also, MP: Federation Force is worse than this? One of the few times I call bulsh*t on Yahtzee.

Let me add to that by saying Metroid fans, wake up. Your franchise was always a snore fest made to pander to sci-for nerds. It only attracts the Halo crowd.

I'm a fan of the Metroid series and I dislike Halo.

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