Zero Punctuation: Vanquish

Vanquish

Yahtzee reviews Vanquish

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My countrymen are the villains again

takes a shot while crying

Pretty safe to say any plot were Russia is evil will never not be relevant ever again.

I remember that thing with the near-death-auto-slo-mo that you can't turn off to save the rest of your energy being a total showstopper for me.

It was a relatively small problem, but one that occurred so often it became a big problem. Kinda like how a sharp stone in your shoe ruins a hike because you're reminded of it with each step.

I'm surprised that between all the politics (he even squeezed in a GOP crack) he didn't mention that Hillary is president in Vanquish and she's literally up against Mecha-Putin. How relevant that could have been.

They did fix the 60 fps double-damage thing though.

Like Shadows of the Damned, it's a short, indistinct, pointless non-event, because nothing anybody does in the story matters. It's also a lot of fun, and one of the few games I replay now and then. Maybe it's a good thing it always leaves you pining for more.

One thing I always wondered is why cover-based shooters (most of them) have regenerating health, while fast paced ones like Painkiller or Doom have health packets, should't it be the other way around? You get in cover and and has to become tactical about the way you manage your health and the way forward and the fast paced one, you can't shoot if you want your health back, adding moments of tension.

Is it me, or did Yahtzee use the Russian PS3 cover for Vanquish (has the Russian flag on the bottom near the age rating, indicating that either the game is in Russian or just the documentation) on purpose?

Who came up with the "Stolen orbital superweapon to attack America" plot first, Vanquish or CoD:Ghosts? And where is Yahtzee living now? This video and the WATCH_DOGS_2 one have topical jokes about the San Francisco Bay Area that are really funny if you live here.

Since Yahtzee seemed to like the word "ploppy" so much, might I offer a piece of chocolate?

Sounded like he also liked this game. Kinda rare for a cover based shooter.

Darth_Payn:
Who came up with the "Stolen orbital superweapon to attack America" plot first, Vanquish or CoD:Ghosts? And where is Yahtzee living now? This video and the WATCH_DOGS_2 one have topical jokes about the San Francisco Bay Area that are really funny if you live here.

Vanquish, their's was first. To be fair, Ghost's Kill Sat was a railgun and not a laser cannon, so it isn't a COMPLETE ripoff. I think either Star Wars or Moonraker did the Kill Sat first OVERALL< though.

Igor-Rowan:
One thing I always wondered is why cover-based shooters (most of them) have regenerating health, while fast paced ones like Painkiller or Doom have health packets, should't it be the other way around? You get in cover and and has to become tactical about the way you manage your health and the way forward and the fast paced one, you can't shoot if you want your health back, adding moments of tension.

Lineage really.

Halo popularized the concept in shooters. Gears of War was also a Microsoft deal and took on the concept itself, and kind of ran with it, and the barrage of chest-high walls scattered across games largely stems from emulating Gears of War. I'd guess it bled into other AAA shooters because before everyone was trying to make CoD, the big FPS target to match (on consoles) was Halo.

On the other side, Doom, and the other run'n'gunners are inspired by well, Doom. And having health packs scattered around provides incentive to mobility. If you can't heal without moving, then trying to hide out in a choke point and plink at enemies becomes a much more adverse proposition.

On the more mechanical side, the regen health is meant to facilitate a lower (or "realistic") time to kill factor, while still allowing recovery so one tiny screw up doesn't mean you're boned. If 3 bullets from a basic enemy killed you in Doom, it'd become impossible in the game as stands. On the multiplayer side, the lowered time to kill facilitates higher scores and gratification in the gameplay. Not that you can't kill people incredibly fast in Doom or Unreal Tournament (or whatever), but its usually related to either an extended application of skill or having controlled the map well enough to pick up the higher tier weapons.

Geez Yahtzee, what took you so long to review this one? It's 7 years overdue. Well, better late than never.

Was the carpet in the review from Thief 2? I have some kind of PTSD trying to align those textures properly while playing with DromEd...

Wilco86:
Was the carpet in the review from Thief 2? I have some kind of PTSD trying to align those textures properly while playing with DromEd...

Don't you mean the UnrealEd?

Igor-Rowan:
One thing I always wondered is why cover-based shooters (most of them) have regenerating health, while fast paced ones like Painkiller or Doom have health packets, should't it be the other way around? You get in cover and and has to become tactical about the way you manage your health and the way forward and the fast paced one, you can't shoot if you want your health back, adding moments of tension.

In older games, bullets were so slow you could move out of the way. It then became a matter of strafing out of the way of most attacks to avoid damage. If you were skilled enough, you could complete an entire stage without being hit once. Health packs were there to incentive exploration and let you have some leeway in how many times you could screw up. Needless to say, the harder the level or the setting, the least health packs you could find.

In most modern games, dodging is barely an option, since most bullets are hitscans. In those cases, it doesn't matter how good you are, you are going to get hit.

The regenerating health is mostly to allow you to survive combat situations and to incentive a certain behavior... in games like Call of Duty or Gears of War is about being methodical and using the terrain to your advantage, in games like Doom 2016 or Warhammer 40k is about being aggressive and in the face of the enemy.

Yes, totally overrated game. Did not interest me back then and even less now.
A Game-Mechanics is NOT a game.

Instances of "plop": 10.

Carry on.

Level 7 Dragon:
My countrymen are the villains again

takes a shot while crying

Actually..

Fortunately they have since fixed the framerate-damage bug with a patch.
(I do find it a tad funny that he had the PCMR guy focusing on playing at 60 though; the hardcore audience has been going at 144Hz for a pretty good while now and it's not like Vanquish is hard to run at such speeds.)

Igor-Rowan:
One thing I always wondered is why cover-based shooters (most of them) have regenerating health, while fast paced ones like Painkiller or Doom have health packets, should't it be the other way around? You get in cover and and has to become tactical about the way you manage your health and the way forward and the fast paced one, you can't shoot if you want your health back, adding moments of tension.

I think it's more that the slower-paced shooters don't give you much health to begin with because being able to soak 20 rounds with your face undercuts their aims for tense, pseudorealistic combat. But only giving you 3 hits to survive an entire firefight would be excessively punishing, hence regeneration.
Whereas nobody much cares that Serious Sam can eat rockets so long as they're having a good time gleefully massacring monsters, so they leave health packs to give you a way to patch yourself up to a limited capacity instead of making you nigh-unkillable so long as you can find a nice corner to hide in on the occasion that you're running low.

Arnoxthe1:

Wilco86:
Was the carpet in the review from Thief 2? I have some kind of PTSD trying to align those textures properly while playing with DromEd...

Don't you mean the UnrealEd?

Thief 1 & 2 editor was officially DromEd the last time I checked...

http://thief.wikia.com/wiki/DromEd

And I don't think Dark Engine has much to do with the Unreal one.

Worgen:

Level 7 Dragon:
My countrymen are the villains again

takes a shot while crying

Actually..

Considering how, from Russian perspective, Trump's relationship with Russia is just as bad Obama's, it's beyond silly.

RealRT:

Worgen:

Level 7 Dragon:
My countrymen are the villains again

takes a shot while crying

Actually..

Considering how, from Russian perspective, Trump's relationship with Russia is just as bad Obama's, it's beyond silly.

They probably should have thought about that before they helped influence things so we got an unstable egomaniac instead of Hillary who might have been more hardline but more predictable.

Worgen:

They probably should have thought about that before they helped influence things so we got an unstable egomaniac instead of Hillary who might have been more hardline but more predictable.

Ah, good old US, blaming us for things we have nothing to do with.
image
You know, maybe, MAYBE you should start blaming your countrymates for YOUR president. Just sayin'.

RealRT:

Worgen:

They probably should have thought about that before they helped influence things so we got an unstable egomaniac instead of Hillary who might have been more hardline but more predictable.

Ah, good old US, blaming us for things we have nothing to do with.
image
You know, maybe, MAYBE you should start blaming your countrymates for YOUR president. Just sayin'.

Oh I'm not not blaming the American people. After all.


But remember, Hillary won the popular election, not that, that matters here since it all comes down to the electoral college but that made it easier for what impact the Russian hacking did have to swing things for the aforementioned 'people of the land.' After all, wikileaks put out a lot of dmc stuff and claimed do have a bunch of stuff on trump too, but they also didn't release any of the trump stuff.

Is it just me, or has Yahtzee become something of an insufferable liberal since he moved to the United States? There's barely an episode going by without an out-of-touch jab at American politics.

Worgen:

But remember, Hillary won the popular election, not that, that matters here since it all comes down to the electoral college but that made it easier for what impact the Russian hacking did have to swing things for the aforementioned 'people of the land.' After all, wikileaks put out a lot of dmc stuff and claimed do have a bunch of stuff on trump too, but they also didn't release any of the trump stuff.

Alleged Russian hacks as claimed by Hillary's allies. As far as we know, there is no solid proof of that, only people claiming that they totally have the proof right there, but not showing it to the public. Give me that before you give me your accusations. I'm sick to death of hearing the West accuse us of everything and give us credit for nothing.

RealRT:

Worgen:

But remember, Hillary won the popular election, not that, that matters here since it all comes down to the electoral college but that made it easier for what impact the Russian hacking did have to swing things for the aforementioned 'people of the land.' After all, wikileaks put out a lot of dmc stuff and claimed do have a bunch of stuff on trump too, but they also didn't release any of the trump stuff.

Alleged Russian hacks as claimed by Hillary's allies. As far as we know, there is no solid proof of that, only people claiming that they totally have the proof right there, but not showing it to the public. Give me that before you give me your accusations. I'm sick to death of hearing the West accuse us of everything and give us credit for nothing.

LOL, its pretty well established it was a russian hack into the dmc. I mean we have 13 intelligence agency's who have enough proof to say it was russian in origin so I'm gonna go with them. This wasn't your people hacking voting machines or anything like that, this was them putting out info on one candidate to try and get the other one elected. They thought trump would be more friendly to russia, he sounded like it on the campaign trail, but hes also an unpredictable crazy person.

Balkan:
Is it just me, or has Yahtzee become something of an insufferable liberal since he moved to the United States? There's barely an episode going by without an out-of-touch jab at American politics.

He's always been left of centre, well before he moved.

Balkan:
Is it just me, or has Yahtzee become something of an insufferable liberal since he moved to the United States? There's barely an episode going by without an out-of-touch jab at American politics.

It's probably because our politics have become an absurd dadaist shitshow that makes for easy joke material.

Hawki:

Balkan:
Is it just me, or has Yahtzee become something of an insufferable liberal since he moved to the United States? There's barely an episode going by without an out-of-touch jab at American politics.

He's always been left of centre, well before he moved.

I've watched every single ZP + all videos in Yahtzee's YouTube channel. I've also read a big chunk of his old blog, and I can definitely say that he kind of cucks out whenever he smells a bit of pussy. The guy moved to Australia to chase a bitch that ended up dumping him.

My theory is that his current girlfriend is a raging lefty and that the center-Left wouldn't work if Yahtzee wasn't to keep his dick relatively wet. That's why he must make an obligatory jab at Trump every single episode. I can remember at least 3-4 lame political jokes in the recent videos, while he avoided those when he was in Australia, despite Trump being a thing even then. In other words, he's not center-left at all anymore, or at least pretends to be pro-Democratic party. I mean, saying that the GOP "hates you so fucking much" is something a delusional American liberal would say.

Balkan:

I've watched every single ZP + all videos in Yahtzee's YouTube channel. I've also read a big chunk of his old blog, and I can definitely say that he kind of cucks out whenever he smells a bit of pussy. The guy moved to Australia to chase a bitch that ended up dumping him.

My theory is that his current girlfriend is a raging lefty and that the center-Left wouldn't work if Yahtzee wasn't to keep his dick relatively wet. That's why he must make an obligatory jab at Trump every single episode.

Well, that's an...interesting, theory, that focuses conspicuously a lot on the idea of sexual repressment. I mean, just saying...

Balkan:
I can remember at least 3-4 lame political jokes in the recent videos, while he avoided those when he was in Australia, despite Trump being a thing even then.

Don't recall that, he was always making those jokes. He even wove in his dismay that Abbott won the election into one of them.

Balkan:
I mean, saying that the GOP "hates you so fucking much" is something a delusional American liberal would say.

Or...it's a joke? I suppose only "delusional" people make them. Or, I suppose if his politics were reversed, you'd be more reciprocal to him?

I mean, ZP is based on tearing down everything and anything (mainly games), so you might want to watch it in the knowledge that you're not going to agree with everything that's said.

Hawki:

Balkan:

I've watched every single ZP + all videos in Yahtzee's YouTube channel. I've also read a big chunk of his old blog, and I can definitely say that he kind of cucks out whenever he smells a bit of pussy. The guy moved to Australia to chase a bitch that ended up dumping him.

My theory is that his current girlfriend is a raging lefty and that the center-Left wouldn't work if Yahtzee wasn't to keep his dick relatively wet. That's why he must make an obligatory jab at Trump every single episode.

Well, that's an...interesting, theory, that focuses conspicuously a lot on the idea of sexual repressment. I mean, just saying...

Balkan:
I can remember at least 3-4 lame political jokes in the recent videos, while he avoided those when he was in Australia, despite Trump being a thing even then.

Don't recall that, he was always making those jokes. He even wove in his dismay that Abbott won the election into one of them.

Balkan:
I mean, saying that the GOP "hates you so fucking much" is something a delusional American liberal would say.

Or...it's a joke? I suppose only "delusional" people make them. Or, I suppose if his politics were reversed, you'd be more reciprocal to him?

I mean, ZP is based on tearing down everything and anything (mainly games), so you might want to watch it in the knowledge that you're not going to agree with everything that's said.

ZP's humor is based around Yahtzee tearing games and expressing his opinions, with some irony added, but not at the expense of YZ's honest opinions. If the roles were reversed, and he shat on Hillary instead of Trump, of course I'd be less annoyed, as I'm not hearing that kind of humor 24/7. The media isn't just flooded with anti-Trump jokes, it's practically sunken and buried in an ocean of "literally Hitler". Also, did I mention that the villain in his recent book is Donald Trump? An orange-skinned, corrupt, tasteless, callous, and diabolic buffoon in a world destroyed by global warming?

As to the sexual repression part, well, Yahtzee has admitted to having problems with the anxiety and the ladies in the Let's Drown Outs, and he jumped continents twice in pursuing women. People that have a hard time finding attachment also have a hard time letting go. It's just an interesting thing to note. Have a listen:

https://youtu.be/k6UHdzmUn2U?list=PLkkiai4nXBVK0_qBlVvktH1qNzkiR4Dqs

Just hear - he sounded more natural and energetic back then. I think that Yahtz's personal life is bad at the moment, and that can explain the low-hanging fruit jokes and the massive drop in quality in his output, both in ZP, gameplay commentary, and in his books. It's not just because of him moving to America, but abandoning all his friends for a girl that he doesn't even seem to have chemistry with (he sounds more relaxed and cool with Gabriel than he did with his current girlfriend).

I'm not trying to shit on Yahtzee, as I said, I've been a fan for close to a decade. But I have a feeling that he's getting more and more out of touch with each video.

Balkan:
I can definitely say that he kind of cucks out whenever he smells a bit of pussy.
...

Jesus Christ. Fucking class.

Kwak:

Balkan:
I can definitely say that he kind of cucks out whenever he smells a bit of pussy.
...

Jesus Christ. Fucking class.

Okay, I'll admit that I phrased that in hopes to make people mad, but the facts remain - Yahtzee acts differently and rather irrationally when in a relationship - as most men, including ol' Balkan here do. We're all "beta phag cucks" deep down, Kwak.

 

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