Hurricane Jose Will be Deported, White House Says

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Don't feel sad Taco, I still love you!

People have just gotten to used to #FakeNews and can no longer tolerate greatness of a pure and true news source. Your news is just too pure for The Masses to handle now.

Do you remember the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa has the family eat a bunch of incredibly healthy food but the family gets violently ill because they are so used to processed garbage that their bodies can no longer handle wholesome food? Your news is the wholesome food and the processed meat is everything else in the world. Also, Spider-Pig is there. I'm....not sure why.

People with no sense of humour complain that humour isn't funny to them. The thread. The Forum. The Legend.

vallorn:
People with no sense of humour complain that humour isn't funny to them. The thread. The Forum. The Legend.

Thats like saying people have no taste because there is food they dont like.

Just because not every stupid little thing makes a person laugh, they have no sense of humor? That is absurd and you know it.

Taco gets to write official articles now? Finally, some real news!

So how many badges did they pay you for SELLING OUT?

I come here for quality content like the Escapist Deal of the Week! Get this actual for real content stuff outta here!

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE

tippy2k2:
Man, Newclassic got hate and so did Taco. I need to step up my game I guess if I'm going to become a real Escapist contributor...

Oh oh, Tippy's gonna do an article too? Hold on, let me sharpen my pitchfork!

Jesus Christ. Please just let the website die. It doesn't deserve this. A once great website doesn't deserve this. First it was a desperate relinking of content that's been on the website for a decade, now it's an incredibly shitty Onion wannabe. Have you no decency left? I'd rather you just report on Kotaku articles a day after the fact than this.

Ah, I didn't realize that Taco News was a running forum thing. As my post count to age might indicate, I don't really hang around here much. I mostly lurk in every couple weeks and check for new Garwulfs Corner, and hope for other new stuff. Having came onto the site back when Miracle of Sound was new on here, its really sucked seeing this place go from something I'd visit practically daily for something new, to a husk. The official content, the chance to see new creators try things out, was great. I still follow most of my favorites around the web. Gav still does great, Jim's rocking it out there, both of them are fun on the Podquisition, Shamus still runs his blog as much as he can, I still read Erin Dies Alone, etc. But I miss being able to come here, and enjoy it all in one place, on a decent schedule.

Still, what amounts to a forum in-joke doesn't really translate well to official content. The folks here already will probably enjoy it, but if those folks were enough, we'd not be in this drain circling of content we've been in. Even reposting the interesting stuff from PC Gamer was better than now. Maybe it'd feel less crap if Taco News parodied game news, at the least. Then it'd hold some candle of relevance to what the site used to be about.

vallorn:
But now, we must debate whether the holy Taco shall be eaten on Taco Tuesday, or Taco Friday...

My vote goes to Taco Tuesday, for the added alliterative appeal alone.

Maybe Taco Thursday? But that's considered heretical in certain circles.

Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for Taco's satire to be considered content here. The man is funny and this article is right on the nose, the way good satire should be. Are we really shitting our collective pants over satire now? To be clear it's not the hurricane victims that are being made fun of but that collective clown car the US is currently calling an administration.

Satire has been used by legit news sources for literally centuries. Nope can't have that here. The Escapist, especially in its current glory, is too DIGNIFIED for that.

JenSeven:

Fat Hippo:
Jeez Louise people, stop getting so many bees in your bonnet. I found the article funny, anyway.

Because yes, it's a fantastic idea to make fun of a natural disaster.
What shall we do for the next joke? Here is an idea, babies that are born with AIDS.
Yes, that sounds like a wonderful subject to make jokes about.

Those NEVER get old.

Mexican-named hurricane to be deported because racist president. Talk about low hanging fruit.

Here's some actual gaming news:

Pavonis Interactive, the devs behind the Long War Xcom mods, are working on their own stand-alone game. Terra Invicta aims to be a grand strategy with the roots in Xcom's alien defensive type of narrative, but at a solar system level.

"It's a little like what you might imagine the XCOM spokesman's job to be," John Lumpkin said in am interview to RockPaperShotgun. "trying to unify Earth's nations against an alien threat."

HOW HARD WAS THAT???

Continuing a long tradition of forum contributors being promoted to content contributors. I approve of it this time even more so than some of the others. And like all of the other content of the past and the some few bits of what we have left... if you don't like it, don't click on it.

JenSeven:
snip

Okay seriously, you stayed away because of toxicity yet three out of your four comments in this thread were straight up flamebait. Maybe accidentally so, but flamebait nonetheless.

Canadamus Prime:
The sad part is that this is completely believable. I would totally buy that the Trump Administration is that mind-numbingly stupid.

It certainly wouldn't be the stupidest thing to come out of Trump's mouth. Heck , this is actually clever enough to be considered a step up for him.

This is just proof that Mexico is sending their worst and why we must resort to the nuclear option!

Saelune:
...Can we please not do this? Like, really, come on. Was bad enough when we allowed it in the forums, now we're going to make up BS and make it into actual articles?

Would you prefer the feed just be nothing but reminders that old content exists with not a single new news article on it for weeks?

JenSeven:
Okay, how should I take this?

A hurricane that can cost the lives and houses and property of a LOT of people, and then writing a parody news story about it.

Making fun of a tragic disaster?

Does anyone else here find a complete lack of taste here?

How soon is too soon?

Saelune:
Kind of like how Trump was always terrible

Leg End:

Saelune:
...Can we please not do this? Like, really, come on. Was bad enough when we allowed it in the forums, now we're going to make up BS and make it into actual articles?

Would you prefer the feed just be nothing but reminders that old content exists with not a single new news article on it for weeks?

If this is the alternative...then yes.

It's situations like this that remind me why I ignore Taco.
For a brief instant, I thought "Oh boy, news!" and then I saw it was posted by taco and just got depressed. And then a bit angry and confused that anybody could post in the news forum, and then just upset that it turned out to be Taco.

PsychicTaco115:
Hurricane Jose Will be Deported, White House Says


Taco News Network is where Buzzfeed goes to get sources for its Top Ten Lists. It's where Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann come to discuss topics for their shows. It's where nightly news becomes nicotine for the everyman. We dig to find the truth where none may be, and bring it out of the murk to you for your intellectual pleasure.

We need to start some trade deals with Atlantis.

In a press release from the White House that we forgot about at the bottom of our outbox, FEMA and ICE have revealed that they are working together to deport Hurricane Jose from the United States as soon as it touches down in Florida.

"With illegal immigration being a primary focus of our administration, letting an entity like this enter US soil illegally with a name like Jose would be a disaster. Our officials have come together to have a plan before it reaches the coast," said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, "to quickly apprehend and deport the hurricane back to Mexico."

"What's important is the safety of all US citizens. We don't want an illegally immigrated hurricane to use up valuable resources that should be serving the American taxpayer. FEMA is already running dry on funds after Harvey, and we need to deal with Irma now too. By handing Jose over to the Mexican authorities as soon as we have him, this will be a plan that's cheap, effective and works."

Although our own field reporter showed up to the official press briefing ahead of schedule, his designated spot had already been filled by one a reporter from the Huffington Post. The reporter, provided as part of a minority outreach program to help improve the network's diversity quota, sat outside the press room and deciphered the muffles into semi-coherent notes. The report continues below, although CNN may have already gotten most of the clicks.

"Thanks to the brave patriots who've already opened fire on Hurricane Irma in legal defense of their property and second amendment rights, we understand that a grassroots, violent solution is not what's best for the American people. While we respect the value of the 2nd amendment, this does count as a Non-Aggression Principle violation and are now planning on pursuing this next storm with other professionals. We've already lost enough lives to this tragic event, the last thing we need now is deaths that can be prevented," said Sanders.When asked if climate change may have contributed to the increase in violent storms in the southeast, Sanders quickly called for security to escort the journalist to the Trump Gulag.

Donald Trump also responded after the press conference, tweeting "The levee wall just got 10 feet taller! Jose must go back NOW, Mexico not sending their best."

Be on the lookout for Hurricane Pilar, which authorities plan on sending to Guantanamo Bay for suspected links to Al-Qaeda.

Permalink

So are you being payed with badges?

Drathnoxis:
Man, Newclassic got hate and so did Taco. I need to step up my game I guess if I'm going to become a real Escapist contributor...Oh oh, Tippy's gonna do an article too? Hold on, let me sharpen my pitchfork!

I already did

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/170985-New-game-releases-for-week-of-september-24-2017

Not ONE person called my work bad or awful or not worthy. I didn't even get a "wow, the site is really reaching for content" or "I haven't been on the site since 1997 but I'm showing up now coincidentally to complain about something on the site I don't like".

I'll never be a real Escapist contributor if I can post an article without getting (at least) one person to fly into a rage over nothing :'(

I wholeheartedly enjoy Taco News! It's great to finally see Taco News on the feed!

Taco News! :D

I don't care which side of the political spectrum he prods, its better than the spambot news article feed of endless 'promotions' and 'deals'.

MonsterCrit:

Canadamus Prime:
The sad part is that this is completely believable. I would totally buy that the Trump Administration is that mind-numbingly stupid.

It certainly wouldn't be the stupidest thing to come out of Trump's mouth. Heck , this is actually clever enough to be considered a step up for him.

And if you tried to tell him that you can't deport a hurricane because it's a maelstrom of wind and rain, he'd probably fly into a rage and slam you on twitter or something.

Fake News. Best News.

McElroy:

JenSeven:
snip

Okay seriously, you stayed away because of toxicity yet three out of your four comments in this thread were straight up flamebait. Maybe accidentally so, but flamebait nonetheless.

How is pointing a moral issue in a 'news' item flamebait?
This is a question of morality and ethics.
I think you need to look up what flamebait is, because it does not mean what it seems you think it means.

Me merely trying to point out the moral and ethical issues with a story, one that is about using hurricanes, natural disasters that costs the lives and livelihoods of many people each year, mocking them, all to get in a cheap Racism LOL and Trump joke.
That is not flamebaiting, that is a very serious question on the moral compass of the author.

Katherine Kerensky:
People complain about lack of content, get new, free comedy content, complain.
Just another day on the Escapist. Having a sense of humour is a bannable offence.

Maybe people come to the escapist for oh I don't know.... Tech and gaming news? At least that is what I have been paying my pub membership for. So I at least haven't just been taking this sites content for "free". As someone who financially supports the site how about some real content that the site was actually designed for? Hell the very title of the website indicates that it is a place for people to go and ESCAPE shit like politics. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be allowed as a topic like in the forums but putting it in the News Feed is obnoxious.

Blazing Hero:
-Snip-

Alright, I'll tell the people who offer their free time to pack up their bags and get out, the fun police have arrived and demand they stop.

Katherine Kerensky:

Blazing Hero:
-Snip-

Alright, I'll tell the people who offer their free time to pack up their bags and get out, the fun police have arrived and demand they stop.

*shrug* Or you could tell them to instead focus back on tech and games? You know what the site is actually about? If all it takes is "doing it for free" then why stop here. Lets fill up the news feed with abortion topics who cares as long as the person posting it doesn't care about getting paid?

Blazing Hero:

*shrug* Or you could tell them to instead focus back on tech and games? You know what the site is actually about? If all it takes is "doing it for free" then why stop here. Lets fill up the news feed with abortion topics who cares as long as the person posting it doesn't care about getting paid?

Feel free to offer to write such articles. At the moment, we're doing what we can to get new writers in, or any extra content at all, which is a lot more than a lot of people in this thread are doing by whining.

tippy2k2:

Drathnoxis:
Man, Newclassic got hate and so did Taco. I need to step up my game I guess if I'm going to become a real Escapist contributor...Oh oh, Tippy's gonna do an article too? Hold on, let me sharpen my pitchfork!

I already did

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/170985-New-game-releases-for-week-of-september-24-2017

Not ONE person called my work bad or awful or not worthy. I didn't even get a "wow, the site is really reaching for content" or "I haven't been on the site since 1997 but I'm showing up now coincidentally to complain about something on the site I don't like".

I'll never be a real Escapist contributor if I can post an article without getting (at least) one person to fly into a rage over nothing :'(

Don't worry Tippy, I'll always think your articles are shit! :P

Katherine Kerensky:
[quote="Blazing Hero" post="7.1022423.24130316"]At the moment, we're doing what we can to get new writers in, or any extra content at all, which is a lot more than a lot of people in this thread are doing by whining.

That is the odd thing about this. If what you said is true and all you are trying to do is find new content and a direction for the site, why immediately write off any negative feedback from the community as "whining". If you really care about trying to find new things for the site why not simply create a news post asking the community for new ideas and volunteers to do free content?

Blazing Hero:

That is the odd thing about this. If what you said is true and all you are trying to do is find new content and a direction for the site, why immediately write off any negative feedback from the community as "whining". If you really care about trying to find new things for the site why not simply create a news post asking the community for new ideas and volunteers to do free content?

The thing asking for volunteers is something I've thought about... but I've had a bad day and I hate Defy, the douchelords that own this site.

Katherine Kerensky:

Blazing Hero:

That is the odd thing about this. If what you said is true and all you are trying to do is find new content and a direction for the site, why immediately write off any negative feedback from the community as "whining". If you really care about trying to find new things for the site why not simply create a news post asking the community for new ideas and volunteers to do free content?

The thing asking for volunteers is something I've thought about... but I've had a bad day and I hate Defy, the douchelords that own this site.

I think asking the community directly for volunteers would at least garner a bit of good will and make them feel like they were part of the sites shift in focus. As for Defy I really don't know anything about them. As a simple user of the site the only thing I can really say is that it seems like they honestly don't give a shit about it anymore.

Blazing Hero:

I think asking the community directly for volunteers would at least garner a bit of good will and make them feel like they were part of the sites shift in focus. As for Defy I really don't know anything about them. As a simple user of the site the only thing I can really say is that it seems like they honestly don't give a shit about it anymore.

Yeah, Defy are... a rather despicable group. Can thank them for the lack of contributors, and huge cut backs in everything. But yeah, I'm gonna go kickstart a discussion on the whole volunteer thing, because we did it in the past, and it can't hurt any more than anything else that has been done to try to help this site.

Blazing Hero:

Katherine Kerensky:
[quote="Blazing Hero" post="7.1022423.24130316"]At the moment, we're doing what we can to get new writers in, or any extra content at all, which is a lot more than a lot of people in this thread are doing by whining.

That is the odd thing about this. If what you said is true and all you are trying to do is find new content and a direction for the site, why immediately write off any negative feedback from the community as "whining". If you really care about trying to find new things for the site why not simply create a news post asking the community for new ideas and volunteers to do free content?

Because few people are willing to work for exposure.
If you want content creators, expect to pay for them.

And at the moment, I honestly doubt that The Escapist can afford to buy a carton of milk.

JenSeven:

Blazing Hero:

Katherine Kerensky:
[quote="Blazing Hero" post="7.1022423.24130316"]At the moment, we're doing what we can to get new writers in, or any extra content at all, which is a lot more than a lot of people in this thread are doing by whining.

That is the odd thing about this. If what you said is true and all you are trying to do is find new content and a direction for the site, why immediately write off any negative feedback from the community as "whining". If you really care about trying to find new things for the site why not simply create a news post asking the community for new ideas and volunteers to do free content?

Because few people are willing to work for exposure.
If you want content creators, expect to pay for them.

And at the moment, I honestly doubt that The Escapist can afford to buy a carton of milk.

You are right. Few people are willing to do that. In that case it only makes sense to put the request front and center so as many people as possible can at least see it. There is always the chance that someone will jump at the opportunity.

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