The Best and Worst Wii Accessory Ever

The Best and Worst Wii Accessory Ever

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Pega has unleashed upon the world what may very well be the most awesomely ill-conceived gaming accessory of all time: A Dart Game Kit that converts your Wii Remote into a giant dart.

For just ten bucks plus a little bit for shipping, the Wii Dart Game Kit will convert any Wii Remote into an oversized dart, suitable for absolutely no dart-related purposes whatsoever. The dart-configured controller is compatible with PDC World Championship Darts 2008, although I would guess that compatibility is not in the least bit dependent upon the addition of fins and a tip to a standard Wiimote.

The manual emphasizes, in charmingly amusing Engrish, the kit's many safety features. The Wii Dart Game Kit is made from "EVA + ABS material," which, along with the included wrist strap, "can avoid to make the hurt for the people and crispness goods when operate failed which is very safety, and have a good sense of reality." The instructions also include several similarly-mangled warnings about the proper operation and maintenance of the conversion kit, not one of which mentions the fact that despite your controllers's new, aerodynamic appearance, you shouldn't actually throw the damned thing.

That, of course, is the point at which the horror and the awesomeness collide. It should go without saying that just because your Wii controller looks vaguely like a dart it hasn't actually become one, yet we all know that somewhere out there is a bonehead who's going to buy this thing, snap his Wiimote into it and fire it at his television.

Maybe his fingers will be sweaty, or maybe he'll be drunk; whatever excuse he gives his friends when the story inevitably gets out, the bottom line is, his Wii controller will be smashed. Maybe his television will be smashed. Maybe whatever the controller hits after it bounces off the television will be smashed. Maybe whatever the cat knocks over when it tries to get away from all this flying, smashing crapola will be smashed.

The important thing is, stuff will be smashed.

This controller kit is such an awful idea on every possible level that it somehow manages to transcend badness and become something else entirely. Not "good," exactly; more like a retail version of the sort of misfortune that's funny when it happens to someone else. Shrink-wrapped schadenfreude, maybe? I never thought the Wii dumbbells would be surpassed as "Most Accidentally Destructive Videogame Accessory Ever," but I really think we might have a new champ on our hands.

via: Kombo.com

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wow whats next, a wii bow and arrow?

With any luck, this will be marketed with a "Ceiling mountable dart-board!" and Darwin will take care of the rest.

I think the worst are the "Wii Vibrators" etc this is just a more novel way to throw away the Wii.

Best = nunchuck and/or classic controller
Worst = everything else

What I need to know is this.

When I load it into the launcher and fire it at some passer by, will it track properly, or do I need the Wii motion plus for that?

Can we pre-load the YouTube searches now, so on launch day all we have to do is click "go" and watch the fail ensue?

Oh my god... Can we please not be idiots. I think Nintendo gives the majority of the public too much credit.

...wow...

Pebsy:
wow whats next, a wii bow and arrow?

I know they have a crossbow attachment (not the zapper)

...yea...the only good peripherals I can think of are the classic controller(which technically shouldn't count as an accessory since it is a seperate controller) and the zapper. That actually helps you hold the wiimote and nunchuck and it gives it a good feel for shooting games. But outside of that I can't really think of any real reason for anything else or any possible future necessities...

That made me laugh. I mean, who buys this sort of thing?

someone will get hit with it. i almost see in the news now that someone major injuries because of it.

I think it's fantastic. I mean the thought of a dart the size of a mortar shell is funny enough without a wii remote being thrown into the mix. I wait with baited breath for the wii rubber cock accessory...

Pebsy:
wow whats next, a wii bow and arrow?

I'm just going to go patient that right now...by duct-taping a Wiimote to an arrow.

branalvere:
I mean the thought of a dart the size of a mortar shell is funny enough without a wii remote being thrown into the mix.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?

WII ARTILLERY!

Woooo!

Aaaaand someone has likely tried to actually use the Wiimote with Nunchuck attachment as a pair of nunchucks. There was most likely pain involved.

I'm not so suprised by this, and I won't be suprised when they're sued by shmucks who damage their TVs with them.

...What?

How...who came up....was this even a plausible...

Why did...?

What the heck!?!? Not only is this a terrible business decision, but if it actually succeeds it making a profit I'm going to lose (more) hope in humanity. Seriously, what the crap? I don't know what's more sad, the people who came up with this, or the people who buy this. Actually, probably the people who buy this.

i think we're all missing the big picture here....this attachment is only a distraction from the REAL problem, that being that a developer actually went through the trouble of programming a "championship darts" game....WTF? nobody plays darts anymore...cept fat drunk guys bored in some tavern. i mean they created this add-on with the assumption that a game that is being released directly to the bottom of the $1 bargain bin, is even going to sell....i mean seriously....who is their demographic for this travesty toward gaming???

TinyMAG:
i think we're all missing the big picture here....this attachment is only a distraction from the REAL problem, that being that a developer actually went through the trouble of programming a "championship darts" game....WTF? nobody plays darts anymore...cept fat drunk guys bored in some tavern. i mean they created this add-on with the assumption that a game that is being released directly to the bottom of the $1 bargain bin, is even going to sell....i mean seriously....who is their demographic for this travesty toward gaming???

your right it'll just join the ranks of the other half ass games like pool and table tenis both that i belive have attachment just like the dart.

GodsOneMistake:
Oh my god... Can we please not be idiots. I think Nintendo gives the majority of the public too much credit.

are you sure your giving Nintendo enough? If I could come up with a way to get customers to regularly smash their own controllers and need to replace them I'd go for it, sounds ridiculously profitable...
Hell If I could invent a game system that had its users flailing around their arms around at the TV like lunatics I'd go for it too, think of how silly that would look....

oh wait, that ideas taken already... dam.

On a side note, the REAL point of darts is that they are sharp, and make holes in the wall when you miss... something tells me the vidiogame version will not qualify... unless this attachment is sharper than its demographic.

I think you are all missing the funniest possible out come of this fantastic piece of kit;

Home video of Wii ADHD boy throwing Wii Dart at Wii bitch sister and pinning her to the wall (please substitute Wii / wee where necessary (wee = little, for the non Scots among you))

WIN.

The Rogue Wolf:

branalvere:
I mean the thought of a dart the size of a mortar shell is funny enough without a wii remote being thrown into the mix.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?

WII ARTILLERY!

Woooo!

We now know who's gonna win the console war.

Awww, here was me thinking it was a wii-blender!

Oh shit, I don't want to give them ideas...

bernthalbob616:

The Rogue Wolf:

branalvere:
I mean the thought of a dart the size of a mortar shell is funny enough without a wii remote being thrown into the mix.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?

WII ARTILLERY!

Woooo!

We now know who's gonna win the console war.

Yup. Microsoft. Nothing can penetrate their bunker made of XBoxes (the original).

So...we're playing a darts game and just flailing the wiimote isn't enough, we have to make it shaped like a dart, for what purpose? If we want to play darts with darts then wouldn't it be better and cheaper to, you know, play darts.

Someone needs to say this and it might as well be me: what peripherals would there be if they release Rapelay on Wii?

Pebsy:
wow whats next, a wii bow and arrow?

Nah too obvious, I think it's going to be the wii wii controller add on, make your controller look like a wii

Meado:

bernthalbob616:

The Rogue Wolf:

branalvere:
I mean the thought of a dart the size of a mortar shell is funny enough without a wii remote being thrown into the mix.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?

WII ARTILLERY!

Woooo!

We now know who's gonna win the console war.

Yup. Microsoft. Nothing can penetrate their bunker made of XBoxes (the original).

LOL yep

Oh god yes, it's lawn darts all over again but INSIDE the house now!

TinyMAG:
i think we're all missing the big picture here....this attachment is only a distraction from the REAL problem, that being that a developer actually went through the trouble of programming a "championship darts" game....WTF? nobody plays darts anymore...cept fat drunk guys bored in some tavern. i mean they created this add-on with the assumption that a game that is being released directly to the bottom of the $1 bargain bin, is even going to sell....i mean seriously....who is their demographic for this travesty toward gaming???

Umm I think you underestimate the casual crowd on the wii a lil bit. I mean, have you even seen the shovelware for this thing? My sister owns a Wii and I own a few games for it but seriously, if you think a darts game is a travesty towards gaming on the Wii, then I don't think you realize what/who the Wii is like... for...

If you want attempts at srs gaming you might want to try the pc/ps3/xboxfullcircle

O_O

...

I believe that someone in the Wii Bowling Ball thread said:

"What next? Wii Darts?"

long list of Wii attachment hazards coming soon.

 

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