California Lab Unveils World's Strongest Laser

California Lab Unveils World's Strongest Laser

image

California's Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory unveiled its latest creation last Friday, a high-powered laser array dubbed the "National Ignition Facility."

The array, which boasts 192 separate laser beams and takes up an entire football field of space, can be focused on a single point no bigger than the size of a pencil eraser, making the NIF the world's strongest laser beam.

Though you can almost hear warhawks cackling ominously with thoughts of destroying Alderaan, officials say it will be used for "a multifaceted assignment that will include ensuring that aging nuclear weapons are still functioning properly without resorting to underground testing."

Additionally, plans are underway to use the array in "the study of astrophysics and experiments in developing green energy programs."

Realistically though, I think we all know where this is heading: Val Kilmer, a house full of popcorn, and hilarious 1980s hijinks.

(Image)

Permalink

I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that :(

Lopunny:

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that :(

Why do so many people steal my thoughts!

We have lasers and were using them to study things!?

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

stormcaller:
We have lasers and were using them to study things!?

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

It's always about the giggles.

stormcaller:
Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

I'm with this guy.

We could trim the Sun into a smaller size. Fuck you, global warming.

I hope they watch out where they aim this thing. Wouldn't want to start an interstellar war because we accidentally burned a hole into the foreheads of some alien overlords.

Tiamat666:
I hope they watch out where they aim this thing. Wouldn't want to start an interstellar war because we accidentally burned a hole into the foreheads of some alien overlords.

They probably deserve it.

Probably.

I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' NIF attached to their heads!

I...don't think they make sharks that big. But then again, I'm one to talk.

God we must abuse the hell out of this thing...

Still, very cool and hopefully they can put it to great use.

all i had to do was read the title, and my first thought was REAL GENIUS!!!

Well, I always knew one day I would be a Bond villain. I now I know how I'm going to do it.

CAPTAIN

sswWOOORRDDo! D=<

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

You can put your name on the Moon, but I'll put mine on Mars.

Its official, we are now the most technologically superior state in the country. Take that texas.

Earnest Cavalli:
"a multifaceted assignment that will include ensuring that aging nuclear weapons are still functioning properly without resorting to underground testing."

Additionally, plans are underway to use the array in "the study of astrophysics and experiments in developing green energy programs."

Rather odd combination.

Sheepzor:

Lopunny:

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that :(

Why do so many people steal my thoughts!

well, we'll just have to see whose crack team of ninja's commandeers it first, wont we? *glares at you* :P

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

I'm afraid i just cant let you do that to my empire. One day i will be emporer of the moon and that would be unsightly. I shall have to steal it first and carve my name into your face. Then i would use to go and kill the impure aliens

Hmm... so much closer to development of the Spartan Laser!

"Uh...Gorg? There is...a dot on your forhead... its coming from...earth!?"
"Lets see how they like our laser...of Doom!!"

Lopunny:

Sheepzor:

Lopunny:

Doug:
I need to hijack this so I can carve my name onto the moon. Muhahahahaha!

Damn you to the farthest depths of Hades XD I was gonna say that :(

Why do so many people steal my thoughts!

well, we'll just have to see whose crack team of ninja's commandeers it first, wont we? *glares at you* :P

IT SHALL BE MINE!

*Charges off in the wrong direction...*

Eventually!

InProgress:

stormcaller:
Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

I'm with this guy.

ARE YOU PEOPLE INSANE!!!???? i`m so IN

stormcaller:

Bullshit, lets blow up Mercury for shits and giggles.

Count me in!

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here