What?

Hopefully it's just going to be 2 hours of a ship shooting rocks in space.

I'm not going to worry about Universal destroying my childhood memories since the video game and any movie made have to be separate from each other and there's no way that the latter can really tarnish the former.

On the other hand I'm not sure why Universal bothered to secure the rights. The only people who are going to recognize the video game reference are people who know that the movie can't really have too much to do with it.

Steve Dark:
It could totally work as a tongue in cheek action comedy... Something like Snakes on a Plane. In fact now that I've said that, if it had Samuel L Jackson in it it would have no choice but to ROCK HARD.

I hope to god that's the route they take. If they for one second take themselves seriously I might explode.

There's three ways this can go.

1. Michael Bay redoes Armegeddon only with a soundtrack by The Jonas Brothers and Shia LeBouef as the male lead (who screams "nononononononononononono" just before the USS Triangle does a header into a jagged rock), and the ship's bullets all have the american flag engraved on the side and are rendered in lovely slo-mo. Also the first half of the movie is spent on a montage about a United States in trouble yet despite taking place in the modern day is represented as an idyllic USA that looks more like the America from the 1950s. Oh, and the Spaceship is controlled by an XBox 360 joypad and fueled by Mountain Dew and Burger King Whoppers. It will make roughly 200 million dollars because the moviegoing public are idiots and will harp about the critics hating it going "it has rocks exploding in space what more do you want?"

2. Samuel L. Jackson and BRIAN BLESSED head up a multinational crew of an experimental ship to blow up aliens and the asteroid field they hide in. Possibly also inspired by The Last Starfighter in that the crew is selected from people who, 25 years prior, set high score records on the game. Is presented as pure parody and satire. Will not do well financially but gets a cult following because again, the theatergoing public are idiots.

3. Uwe Boll makes another film, Germany considers eliminating all filmmaker tax shelter benefits.

A small colony terraforming a barren planet are surrounded by asteroids. The story focuses on a man whose job involves clearing a path while supplies are shipped in. At the same time, he deals with his collapsing marriage. Then, his life goes wrong. His wife reveals she's having an affair with one of the guys on the shipment run. In a moment of weakness, he lets the next ship get hit. When he returns to the surface he's fired, and finds that his wife's lover had stayed behind. Furious, she leaves him. News gets around, and he's put in jail. However, his replacement sucks. With the colony on the verge of disaster, he is released on the condition he clears the path as a punishment. When the next shipment is safely on the ground, they call him back down, offering him a full pardon.

However, he's finished with the colony and, in an act of defiance, he flies off through the open path, resolving to leave that barren piece of rock in hopes of greener pastures.

In the original ending, he chooses suicide, and flies headlong into the asteroid field.

The main character is to be played by Bruce Willis.

Haha! April Foo-

Oh, wait. Damn...

Seriously...?

Im goin to see it in Imax.

"Sir we are being attacked!"
"By what?!"
"ASTEROIDS SIR!!"
"Those damned space rocks. They musta followed us from the last asteroid belt we killed."
"Crafty Devils. ALRIGHT MAN THE CANNONS! YOU KNOW THE DRILL!"

Proof that there is a god. But not a kind, loving, forgive your sins, Jesus type god. Like one who loves to watch us suffer and be confused for their own sick amusment, like a kid playing sim city. That type of god.

Anachronism:
Please, God, let this be a joke.

In other news: the Tetris movie has just been announced!

It's a porno.

"OH YEAH L BLOCK! HIT THAT!"
I can imagine the suicides now.

I just hope they stay true to the depth and complexity of the original characters. A lot of video game movies get dumbed down for theater audiences, and I'd hate to see that happen to such an intricate and meaningful story.

*Sigh* Okay. It's official. We're running out of ideas for movies.

shooting and rocks exploding?, we must call Michael Bay immediately.

How could this possibly work? On any conceivable level?

I will get flamed for this, but isnt Micheal Bay perfect for this? He doesnt need to do anything hard, just have a ship shoot asteriods, and even though theres no explosions in space, I'm sure he will put some in.

ColdStorage:
shooting and rocks exploding?, we must call Michael Bay immediately.

Dam beaten by two posts!

We all need to remember what yatzee has said, we all need to think thats its going to be bad. Then if it is bad we will be happy and if its good we still be happy.

Amusingly, they've just invented a film which is guaranteed to have me headdesking for the rest of my life. Asteroid fields aren't dangerous; the asteroids are too diffuse for that. There are going to be explosions in space, even though 2001: A Space Odyssey taught us all that explosions would be cut short. It'll probably have sound in space and shiny red lasers just to piss me off as well.

If they decide to do this seriously, you'll hear the screams on the other side of the planet. That agonising yell you'll hear on the wind? That'll be my brain trying to rip itself out of my skull and trying to jump into a vat of sodium hydroxide.

Gigawolf1:
A small colony terraforming a barren planet are surrounded by asteroids. The story focuses on a man whose job involves clearing a path while supplies are shipped in. At the same time, he deals with his collapsing marriage. Then, his life goes wrong. His wife reveals she's having an affair with one of the guys on the shipment run. In a moment of weakness, he lets the next ship get hit. When he returns to the surface he's fired, and finds that his wife's lover had stayed behind. Furious, she leaves him. News gets around, and he's put in jail. However, his replacement sucks. With the colony on the verge of disaster, he is released on the condition he clears the path as a punishment. When the next shipment is safely on the ground, they call him back down, offering him a full pardon.

However, he's finished with the colony and, in an act of defiance, he flies off through the open path, resolving to leave that barren piece of rock in hopes of greener pastures.

In the original ending, he chooses suicide, and flies headlong into the asteroid field.

The main character is to be played by Bruce Willis.

*Dramatic pause*

That...ain't bad, actually, could be a hell lot worse.

Asteroids - The Movie might look something like this:

It could be good...

You know, I don't understand all the hate for the newer Star Wars Episodes - they were sporadically good; I would rather have them than not.

Huh?

wut

I don't see any possible way how that could be good, but hey, it's not my money they are spending.

BudZer:
Well, it will be able to have more artistic freedom and plot freedom than most video game based movies, so perhaps it will be great.

I have to agree. This actually has to potential to be turned into something quite excellent.

HOWEVER.

Credge:
Sadly, the plot will be like this:

Rugged Ex-Space Marine with a chip on his shoulder has something to prove. Lost his family on a 'safe and secure' Space Marine evacuation vessel. He quit the Space Marines and goes from space station to station selling salvaged ship parts for money. He's scared of Asteroid fields.

Love interest that knows there's something good in the Space Marines heart. She's a thief.

Have the Space Marine meet this woman, who just stole food because she's hungry, and he gets her out of there. They float in space for a bit and eventually get chased by some space cops. They speed off and run in to an ASTEROID FIELD! OH GOD!

They enter, the cops stop chasing (queue Star Wars reference of the chance to live while going through an A.F. (that they will call asteroid fields), and the space marine and thief have to make it through the asteroid field alive!

And that's the entire movie.

This seems to be the most likely outcome.

What's next, Pong the Movie?

I even heard that they are going to make Monopoly a movie as well

it doesnt matter how bad this movie is going to be there will allways be some artsy ponce raving about how its a cult movie and we wouldnt understand it.

Okay, I swear, if someone is going to try and make a movie with Katamari Damacy I demand that I be the director for that movie!

nnnaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhnah nah nah Nah Nah Nah NAH NAH NAH. NAH. NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Errrm... Whut? No seriously... Whut?
I get where there story may come from, people defending earth/a fleet of starships from asteroid storms but still... They think this will make a good movie?

xmetatr0nx:
Alright, now im just going to sit back and wait for the frogger movie.

I demand a Solitare movie.

Indigo_Dingo:
Starring William Shatner as the captain, and Vin Diesel as the Asteroid.

/best seller

Totally.

I am still waiting for a minesweeper movie. The spoof on youtube doesnt count.

gbemery:
I even heard that they are going to make Monopoly a movie as well

Yes, but I believe Sir Ridley Scott is making that one. Which means it WILL BE AWESOME.

oliveira8:

AmrasCalmacil:
"Sir, there's something on the radar."
"Asteroids, I should have suspected that those no good rocks would try to ambush us here... In an asteroid belt."
"Should we go around it, sir?"
"No! We must stand and fight!"

That sounds like a dialog betewen Captain Zapp Brannigan and Lieutenant Kif Kroker...

You read my mind.

What's next? Daffy Duck first person shooter?

How can you do a film on this? Its not possible.

Not sure what you guys are talking about, there was an entire developed storyline for Asteroids including the name of the ship and the captain (Intrepid and Jim Stanton) respectively.