The Asteroids Movie: A "Big Thing in Space"

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The Asteroids Movie: A "Big Thing in Space"

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Movie producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura says that while gamers may be puzzled by the prospect, he believes the Asteroids film will succeed because it's a "big thing in space."

The Asteroids movie came to light earlier this month when it was revealed that Universal Pictures had won a four-way bidding war for the right to develop the property. People familiar with the game were understandably dubious about the prospects of bringing it to the big screen but di Bonaventura, whose credits include Doom, the Transformers films and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, said there's more to work with than people realize.

"It's funny because people say there's nothing in the game, but that's not entirely right. I was attracted to Asteroids, plain and simple, because I think what it tells you is that there's going to be this big thing in space," he said. "We've crafted a really strong, deep mythology for the thing. Without divulging too much about it, it's two lead characters - two brothers - who have to go through a seminal experience to figure out their relationship, against this huge backdrop."

The relationship struggles of estranged siblings doesn't sound very much like the Asteroids game I knew and loved, but di Bonaventura promised that old-time arcade animals would be taken care of too. "You'd better have some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up or else you haven't honored the fun of Asteroids," he added.

Speaking candidly, I have to say that "this big thing in space" isn't exactly the most compelling synopsis for a film I've ever run across. On the other hand, you better believe I'm looking forward to it; Asteroids could be the most awesome thing to happen to the genre since Saffron Burrows and Freddie Prinze Jr. awkwardly consummated their passion in Wing Commander.

Source: IGN

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so.... basically they're using the asteroids game as a backdrop for whatever other story they've come up with..... pretty smart move in the business sense, but i have a really fuckin hard time coming up with any positive thoughts on the whole idea

Yes, I've heard very good things about this movie. Edward Norton's going to play the spaceship.

I also heard that Brad Pitt is being considered for the role of Asteroid #2, and that Meat Loaf is doing the voice of Asteroid #5!

I would rather watch paint dry than see the film.

Hey you guize!

Lets write a script for Tetris, it can be about eugenics and um... Taxonomy.

uppitycracker:
so.... basically they're using the asteroids game as a backdrop for whatever other story they've come up with..... pretty smart move in the business sense, but i have a really fuckin hard time coming up with any positive thoughts on the whole idea

My thoughts exactly. Why don't they just call it what it is and drop the whole Asteroids thing altogether?

The Last Starfighter 2.

thanks to transformers this is what hollywood thinks is hot now. To them transformers was based on toys (not the cartoon) so now we get gems like asteroids monopoly and shoots and ladders. And when they fail it will be blamed on halo (or whatever game is popular at the time) Side note when heartbreak kid (w/ ben stiller) bombed it was blamed on the release of halo 3. Though I will say that pinball the movie will rock!

sunami88:

uppitycracker:
so.... basically they're using the asteroids game as a backdrop for whatever other story they've come up with..... pretty smart move in the business sense, but i have a really fuckin hard time coming up with any positive thoughts on the whole idea

My thoughts exactly. Why don't they just call it what it is and drop the whole Asteroids thing altogether?

The Last Starfighter 2.

YES!!!

Greetings Starfighter, you have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada!

Granted, it kinda was a disappointment when the whole Ko-Dan Armada turned out to be about 30 ships in total, and that the Starfighter had a Deus Ex Machina button. But hey, it did have its moments.

Unreliable:

YES!!!

Greetings Starfighter, you have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada!

Granted, it kinda was a disappointment when the whole Ko-Dan Armada turned out to be about 30 ships in total, and that the Starfighter had a Deus Ex Machina button. But hey, it did have its moments.

I'll bet the same Deus Ex Machina button shows up at the end of the Asteroids film too...

Glad to see someone else who remembered the movie though :).

I wonder what the Big Thing is? Oh I don't know, maybe a giant asteroid perhaps?!

Once i heard there would be asteroids the movie i almost lost all hope in movies

Sigh. Sounds awful.

BlindTom:
Hey you guize!

Lets write a script for Tetris, it can be about eugenics and um... Taxonomy.

And spaceships. And racing.

And love plots. And racing. (explosions too)

Hey, if they can make this ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs ) and this ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wt9Gse7KGw ) into a movie, maybe they can pull it offwith Asteroids.

No, no they cant.

Part of the reason I think this is newsworthy is that it's so ridiculous it's almost insulting. I mean... Transformers? Sure, okay, there's a plot and mythos, you could build something out of that.

This? It's a Newtownian physics game where you blow rocks up. Galaga has more story than this game. Thousands of games have more story than this one. Double Dragon looks like Shakespeare compared to this game.

And yet...there was a four way bidding war for it.

The problem is that any movie that has ever been made about someone blowing up an asteroid with a spaceship is technically an Asteroids movie. Those two factors are only things the game had, so there really isn't a way you can add a plot that makes this movie stand out as the one that is based on the game. The best way to make a true Asteroids movie would be to follow ONLY those two points: a full length movie of just a spaceship shooting rocks in space. No plot. No actors. Just explosions and an awesome looking ship.

Thats yet another film I am not going to see.

I still say there's no way a movie based off Asteroids can work.

It's been done.

It was called "Armaegeddon."

And it was awful.

far_wanderer:
The problem is that any movie that has ever been made about someone blowing up an asteroid with a spaceship is technically an Asteroids movie. Those two factors are only things the game had, so there really isn't a way you can add a plot that makes this movie stand out as the one that is based on the game. The best way to make a true Asteroids movie would be to follow ONLY those two points: a full length movie of just a spaceship shooting rocks in space. No plot. No actors. Just explosions and an awesome looking ship.

I would watch that.

Pew pew pew.

Tehpwnsauce:
I would rather watch paint dry than see the film.

Watching Paint Dry is scheduled for a 2012 release. Starring Verne Troyer as the Paintbrush and Shia LeBeouf as the Paint.

You laugh, but I bet at least a few of you are checking to see if I'm lying or not.

L.B. Jeffries:
And yet...there was a four way bidding war for it.

I think this is the part that makes my brain cry the most.

13lackfriday:
It's been done.

It was called "Armaegeddon."

And it was awful.

On the bright side we got to watch Bruce Willis die.

The Rogue Wolf:

Tehpwnsauce:
I would rather watch paint dry than see the film.

Watching Paint Dry is scheduled for a 2012 release. Starring Verne Troyer as the Paintbrush and Shia LeBeouf as the Paint.

You laugh, but I bet at least a few of you are checking to see if I'm lying or not.

LeBeouf doesn't have the emotional range to play paint.

Commander Breetai:

13lackfriday:
It's been done.

It was called "Armaegeddon."

And it was awful.

On the bright side we got to watch Bruce Willis die.

On the other hand we only got to see Bruce Willis die.

Meado:

Commander Breetai:

13lackfriday:
It's been done.

It was called "Armaegeddon."

And it was awful.

On the bright side we got to watch Bruce Willis die.

On the other hand we only got to see Bruce Willis die.

I chop off the other hand, there now its a positive thing.

Tehpwnsauce:

The Rogue Wolf:

Tehpwnsauce:
I would rather watch paint dry than see the film.

Watching Paint Dry is scheduled for a 2012 release. Starring Verne Troyer as the Paintbrush and Shia LeBeouf as the Paint.

You laugh, but I bet at least a few of you are checking to see if I'm lying or not.

LeBeouf doesn't have the emotional range to play paint.

I grant you that he sucked in Transformers movies,
But he was pretty damn good in "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints"
It might be Hayden Christianson syndrome - where you give a good performance as long as the movie isnt destined to be a blockbuster.

HardRockSamurai:
Yes, I've heard very good things about this movie. Edward Norton's going to play the spaceship.

I also heard that Brad Pitt is being considered for the role of Asteroid #2, and that Meat Loaf is doing the voice of Asteroid #5!

I heard they got Tim Curry as the voice of the alien space craft.

sunami88:

uppitycracker:
so.... basically they're using the asteroids game as a backdrop for whatever other story they've come up with..... pretty smart move in the business sense, but i have a really fuckin hard time coming up with any positive thoughts on the whole idea

My thoughts exactly. Why don't they just call it what it is and drop the whole Asteroids thing altogether?

The Last Starfighter 2.

That works!

There was a four way bidding war for the rights to this? I could understand one guy with a dream and ability to make money for it, but four companies thinking they could do it?

Well shit, I wasn't exactly right last time.

Two gay brothers have gay sex while shooting asteroids in space. That might actually make a good movie.

They mention di Bonaventura like having him aboard is something to be proud of.

Unreliable:

Tehpwnsauce:

The Rogue Wolf:

Tehpwnsauce:
I would rather watch paint dry than see the film.

Watching Paint Dry is scheduled for a 2012 release. Starring Verne Troyer as the Paintbrush and Shia LeBeouf as the Paint.

You laugh, but I bet at least a few of you are checking to see if I'm lying or not.

LeBeouf doesn't have the emotional range to play paint.

I grant you that he sucked in Transformers movies,
But he was pretty damn good in "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints"
It might be Hayden Christianson syndrome - where you give a good performance as long as the movie isnt destined to be a blockbuster.

*slams head into wall* It was a joke, I did not mean it. Clear enough?

So they could have just made a movie about brothers in space or whatever, but instead they chose to make a film about a game with hardly any connection to said game.

sunami88:

uppitycracker:
so.... basically they're using the asteroids game as a backdrop for whatever other story they've come up with..... pretty smart move in the business sense, but i have a really fuckin hard time coming up with any positive thoughts on the whole idea

My thoughts exactly. Why don't they just call it what it is and drop the whole Asteroids thing altogether?

The Last Starfighter 2.

I loved that film. It managed to be both utter crap and sheer genious at the same time.

You cannot make asteroids into a movie. It doesn't work. There is no plot, no characters, there's not even any dialogue. There isn't anything. This doesn't make any damn sense!

/headdesks.

When will Hollywood learn?

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