New Eroge Game Introduces Wang Recognition Technology

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New Eroge Game Introduces Wang Recognition Technology

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Japanese game maker Teatime has announced that the upcoming eroge game Love Death 4 will feature an innovative, all-new control scheme known as "wang recognition technology."

Okay, I admit it, it's not actually called wang recognition technology, or "wangtech" as I like to call it, that's just what it does. According to a report posted on Canned Dogs, the game will make use of an "enhanced" version of the face-tracking technology developed for the game Tech48 which will also detect shapes.

The system will presumably detect a wide range of differently shaped objects, like pencils, candles, sausages, cigars, woodwind instruments and more, but I think we all know where this is headed. After all, that may not be a peen on the screen but whatever that big red-and-white arrow is pointing at sure does look mighty phallic and that, my friends, is a sure-fire sign that pantsless hip-thrusting as a play mechanic (not to mention out-of-warranty webcam repairs) are about to see a big surge in popularity. (It may also be a sign that the End Times are upon us.)

I suppose it's possible that this new digital dick detector could be used for other purposes but let's not kid ourselves: This thing isn't being sold so you can use your finger to point at on-screen objects. The example provided by Teatime, Canned Dogs says, "suggests that the character will recognize the male sexual organ and react to it." And if that reaction is to point and laugh, you lose, pal.

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Oh Japan, will you never cease to amaze?

Oh my. what will Japan think of next?
This is just...
I must go cleanse my mind now.

Truly, this is an invention that will benefit posterity.

Or help create it.

Oh.My.God. Japan will not stop,will it?

I need goddamn Brain Bleach. LOTS of it.

*Insert 'Oh Japan' joke here*

Just... yeah. It's... yeah.

Odd.

Lol! This is awesome!

To bad ordering porn on the net is not legal in Iceland :(

Point and click really has come a long way, hasn't it?

BANZAI!

A face recognition parody come to life.

next year.......
First adult game on 360 Love Death 4 (natal enhanced edition) i can see it now i also see the first practical natal use for comedic purpose

Alright. I understand how this thing is creepy, and weird, and extemely scary but... that's just a little bit awesome, no?

And people still think Japan is the best country ever. Ugh.

This sounds like the kind of thing to tell you if your room mate is walking around naked behind you, that just shows Japan are still the kings of the odd.

Gamegodtre:
next year.......
First adult game on 360 Love Death 4 (natal enhanced edition) i can see it now i also see the first practical natal use for comedic purpose

Yes! Now you, too, can pretend to be humping a woman.

Cuz no one does that already. lol.

Sparrow:
Alright. I understand how this thing is creepy, and weird, and extemely scary but... that's just a little bit awesome, no?

No.
Just very, very odd.

And potentially hilarious.

They should include the Wii Vitality Sensor so that the game can tell if it's the real thing. :P

How come everyone has commented on the wang thing but no-one has noticed that an eroge game is called LOVE DEATH 4? WTF?!?

This game is going to surge then fall in popularity as all the men who play it will be laughed at by the on screen characters.

Developers will be speechless and try to make half improvised apologetic speeches.

What they fail to realize is the revolution has started, the games have grown too smart for us. They are corrupting our computers.

It all started by making every man in the world uncomfortable with his penis size, extenze sales reach an all time high before people realize it's father company has been behind the entire revolution.

Skynet has made it's move. . .

[edit] My mother has spent her life protecting me from the revolution. Saying i am the leader of the resistance. That was before she was brutally murdered before my eyes. Now i take to the streets as man kinds last hope. I AM BATMAN.

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And you lot can "oh Japan" all you want, but like 80% of the games and tech you're enjoying is coming from there. I still say this is blatantly what people are going to do when they get their hands on Milo though..."Oh dear, what's that??"

Hardcore_gamer:
Lol! This is awesome!

To bad ordering porn on the net is not legal in Iceland :(

Oxymoron?

I only have one thing to say, *grooooooooooaaaaaan*

To be honest I just find this hilarious.

Motion control still sucks...at least now it literally sucks.

Ohohoho...Japan, you never change...

And Japan continues to shame us all with it's awesome advancements.

See any western countries making games that interact with wangs? No? That's cause we can't, we're to busy trying to catch up to their last 8 advancements.

Wang recognition... WANG!

I now have a horrible temptation the thrust at my laptop screen.

God damn it Japan. You and your brilliantly perverted minds!

Oh, God, will it ever stop?

Although, if technology evolves more, soon we will have holographic girls entering the room. That'd be weird.

I think there's some words of wisdom in this about the dawn of technology that should go something like this

From the time the first computer was turned on, man has thought of only one thing. "How can I fuck this?"

I love how everyone does their little "OH MY" comment everytime an article comes up about the Japanese people not being quite as inhibited as ourselves.

I didn't really know people were quite so prudish.

Genius! That's all there is to it.

I mean... *looks shifty* ... Oh Japan...

It's funny, will this come out for the Sex Box though XD

Love Death 4? Creepy...

As for the dick detection system, it might actually stifle porn since if it has a mockery system, the player could be shamed. Hell, imagine tech support.

"My detection system isn't getting my readings!"

"Maybe your unit is too small for the sensor to detect?"

CLICK...

While it's not in my nature to demean:

Surely if this is made for the Japanese to measure their private parts, it's already been widely reported that other racial divides have a significant increase in erectile tissue that may cause said game to become...overbalanced?

Some things just canīt be unread.This is one of those things.

At least now, Duffman from the Simpsons has a valid excuse for thrusting into the computer.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot...

But seriously, I think this new 'technology' is going to go the way of Nintendo's Power Glove. It seems awesome at first, until you realize that you (or your parents) wasted cash on a piece of junk that you're now stuck with. As a former owner of the Power Glove, I can attest to this. (Edit: Hangs head in shame)

Besides, with most eroge game companies having to start prohibiting foreign sales, we might be seeing the peak of such gimmicky technology. With no foreign sales support, what's the point? Just placate the locals and move on. *shrugs*

That's... odd. This seems like the kind of killer app Natal needs, doesn't it?

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