| (Pages: 1, 2, 3) | |
Back in my youth I worked for a law firm as a typist. You would not believe the number of case descriptions that started with, | |
What a truly epic disguise. | |
hehehe, the one on the left... did he try to draw a bat as a mask? :P | |
That is so stupid & hilarious XD They should so have used whiteboard markers. | |
Alcohol: Keeping your | |
I laughed out loud on the thieves mug shot. | |
well they have OT: this is one for the books never heard of masks like that but I wonder what they were thinking... other than the y'know not thinking part | |
Hahaha! Stupidity like this is truly one of my favorite forms of amusement. I wondered how long that ink on their face will last. | |
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I have again lost faith in humanity. | |
That made my day! Now that's stupid! | |
The balance is restored. | |
this is great to hear, a burglary was solved lol. | |
Oh stupid people are funny. | |
I imagine the sharpie fumes mixing with the alcohol didn't help them think any clearer. | |
"Hey man, I got my eyes covered...think I need to cover my mouth?" | |
Laughing... so hard... typing, very difficult! Those mug shots are hysterical. | |
"Crap, i got sharpie in my contacts, it STINGS", I can so see that happening to either of them. I still dont see why the perfectly good mask would work. And if it was for a scare i would use the Jigsaw mask. PS I HATE saw, with a passion. | |
These thieves will have children when they are released from prison, while a nobel prize winning physicist is having trouble getting laid and/or impotent | |
+1 for ignorance | |
Haha wow. | |
I'd post a facepalm image but that would be obvious, so instead ill just type it /facepalm. | |
Wow, criminals and gangsters get stupider by the year... | |
Those guys are beyond stupid. | |
Oh man, I do love a good stupid criminal story. Im'a put this one in my top ten. | |
Oh my god... | |
They should be shot. We cannot, under any circumstances, risk them reproducing. | |
Huh, thats the first I've heard of a robbery being solved...go figure. Incidentally, those two robbers are beyond mental challenged. Also, I agree with the guy above me that they should NEVER have offspring. | |
That's right up there with a criminal genius named Louis Albright from Lafayette Louisiana who tried to use whipped cream as a disguise while standing in line at a bank. Apparently he tried it out at home a few times beforehand and it worked. It hid his identity, was easily washed away and tasted great. So on the day of the big heist he sprayed his entire head with whipped cream, and by the time he got to the teller a lot of it had melted into his eyes and blinded him. The teller (right about when she started laughing) had long since hit the silent alarm, so the whole thing ended pretty quickly and the "Whipped cream bandit" went to "The cooler." See what I did there? Yeah I know, comic brilliance. I found a few other retarded criminal stories, check these out: "A man from Louisiana walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars." "Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in." "45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil." "Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off their truck. In a panic they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. And the bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper." "A group of criminal masterminds thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline." Not sure about this last one though: "Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed." Oddly enough, that last one although hard to believe, would be totally legal... | |
That is the biggest epic fail in history. | |
soon they'll be using imaginary markers | |
because once is no where near enough. | |
or invisible ink. | |
| (Pages: 1, 2, 3) | |
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Dumbass Thieves Attempt Robbery in Sharpie Masks
A pair of idiot would-be thieves in Carroll, Iowa, learned the hard way that real crooks use actual stockings on their heads - not Sharpie markers - for a reason: They don't look quite as stupid when caught.
Last Friday night, the police department in Carroll, IA received a call that two men had attempted to break into a home. After stopping a vehicle that matched the caller's description, they found two would-be crooks who didn't quite have the "sharpest" of disguises.
Instead of going with ski masks, balaclavas or stockings pulled over one's head, 23-year-old Matthew Allan McNelly and 20-year-old Joey Lee Miller had drawn makeshift masks all over their faces with markers - permanent markers. Seeing as how the benefit of a normal mask is that it A.) provides anonymity and B.) can be easily concealed or discarded, one might imagine that going with a method of disguise that actually adds identifying features until you scrub your face raw was a rather poor choice. And one would be right.
Carroll Police Chief Cayler said as much, anyway. "[The] black faces gave them right away ... I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I've never heard of coloring your face with a permanent marker."
The pair had been intoxicated, said Cayler, and explained that the police believed Miller and McNelly had targeted the house in question because one of the accused bungling burglars suspected that his girlfriend was cheating on him with the man who lived there.
"They probably were just not thinking straight and figured we'll go out and scare the guy or whatever," said the Chief. "[They were] being dumb and combine that with alcohol and it was the perfect storm."
Try watercolors next time, guys. It probably won't actually work any better, but at least you'll look more like an Impressionist painting than two drunk dudes scribbling on each other's faces with a marker.
(CNN via NeoGAF)
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