Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac

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Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac

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Sit up straight and listen closely, kids, while I tell you the tale of the woman who fell off her Wii Balance Board and turned into a raging sex addict as a result.

One fine day, Amanda Flowers, a 24-year-old catering worker from the U.K., was enjoying some healthy activity on her Wii Balance Board. But then she slipped, fell and turned into a nymphomaniac. "Wait," I imagine you're saying right about now. "What?" Well, according to an unnamed doctor, the young Ms. Flowers - who, by the way, is single - suffered some sort of bizarre nerve damage and now just the slightest vibration, "from mobile phones to food processors," has her rarin' to go.

"It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm," she said. "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."

There is, in fact, a recognized syndrome called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder in which women experience "spontaneous and persistent genital arousal" that's unrelated to any actual sexual desire. But as this article in Boing Boing explains, it's not a lot of fun and being banged into satiation by a "superstud" isn't really the answer.

Nonetheless, the danger presented to women by the Wii Balance Board is clear, so for heaven's sake, ladies, be careful. And spread the word: I've already started the internet petition but until we can force Nintendo to act by putting warning labels on these things, everyone - which is to say, everyone with a vagina - is at risk.

Source: The Daily Star

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Oh [deity]... I think I am glad not to have a Wii in my home...
Although... my sister may not be safe! I must go to her house and save her!
Really, I can't imagine what it must be like... and I suppose I am glad.
And staying the hell away from Wii Balance Boards.

I rather enjoy the article starting off with: "A WOMAN has gone from Nintendo to nympho after a fall from her Wii Fit board turned her into a sex addict."

I understand it's part of the site's style to capitalize in such a fashion, but out of context it sounds like "DUDE! There's a WOMAN playing NINTENDO!"

*Shakes head* from the 'Daily Star' of all tabloids?

That is pretty damn funny though, I imagine any guy she ends up with would love it for the first week, but then would get a bit tired of it.

Does this work with men? >_>

. . . Is she hot?

Well that certainly is unusual. I should go test this in my lab.

Distorted Stu:
Does this work with men? >_>

I don't know but I think a lot of women are going to find their husbands buying them a Wii+Wii fit for christmas if the word gets out.

Err....

MAN TRIPS ON XBOX CABLES, BECOMES MASOCHIST.

Look, I can do it too!

I to know how to duplicate this? How much power is required in the force to what area of the head? I need to inflict this on my wife!

Damn!

Le Tueur:
Err....

MAN TRIPS ON XBOX CABLES, BECOMES MASOCHIST.

Look, I can do it too!

He must have been one already to have bought an Xbox! (I have one, check my profile before hating me).

*Rushes to Dip balls on the Wii Balance Board hoping for a similar effect*

Lucky woman...

Um, this is a joke, right...?

Anyone notice how happy the guy in the background of the picture looks? Its like he's waiting for something.

I'd take anything in The Daily Star with a generous pinch of salt.

hmmm...

I think I know what to get my friends (who are girls) for their birthdays...

Time to buy a balance board for my wife...

If its in the Daily Star, it isnt news. Seriously wtf?

sounds to me like any fall or knock couldve caused the nerve damage hard to say if it was even the wii that did it in this case either.

Oeeeeewwwwwww-kay, this is pretty random but it made me laugh. So there is a disease/nuerological disorder that makes people sex addicts?...hmm
...
...
*goes to computer, does research on area of brain used for sexual desire, begins drafting 'slave' buisness, plan retirement* :)

This reminds me of a typical Hentai movie plot in which the main heroine becomes hypnotized or spelled by an evil wizard/demon/parasite and is forced to to its "dirty" biddings.

Simalacrum:
hmmm...

I think I know what to get my friends (who are girls) for their birthdays...

I'll send you some money.

Distorted Stu:
Does this work with men? >_>

*drops Wii on Penis*

I can safely say it does not work, and is in fact a very embrassing thing to have to go to the hospital for. Perhaps I should have tried the controller first...

OT: Well, this is certainly funny but it only goes to strenghen my hatred of Nintendo... damn them for being able to pleasure women better than me.

Thanks a lot Andy! My mom has a Wii Balance Board. The last two words I wanted in my head together were Mom and nympho! Arrrgh, where's my brain soap!

Tetranitrophenol:
This reminds me of a typical Hentai movie plot in which the main heroine becomes hypnotized or spelled by an evil wizard/demon/parasite and is forced to to its "dirty" biddings.

HA! XD
If I had a dime for every time that plot device has been used...
...
...
[edit] I'm bookmarking this just so I can read more posts, this is hilarious.

At first I wanted to laugh, but I have to get home and warn my family to stay away from the Wii until this is no longer a problem.

Well that's gotta be a new one. Hilarious!

Another health hazard on box?at cause horniness? XD

Nintendo: makeing men happy since 2008.

Andy Chalk:
Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder in which women experience "spontaneous and persistent genital arousal" that's unrelated to any actual sexual desire.

Pft. I'm 17. I've had that for the last 4 years.

Truly a plague on humanity

*runs off to buy wii balance boards for every girl in town*

khaimera:
Anyone notice how happy the guy in the background of the picture looks? Its like he's waiting for something.

...holy shit, man. HE PLANNED IT ALL ALONG!

Honestly, this is the first time the thought of getting one of those things has entered my head.
I'd just have to figure out a way to give it to my girl without her feeling the need to break it over my head for seemingly suggesting that she needs to lose weight.

This is just like the time I got narcolepsy from playing Red Steel.

Nintendo you did it again

NeoAC:
Thanks a lot Andy! My mom has a Wii Balance Board. The last two words I wanted in my head together were Mom and nympho! Arrrgh, where's my brain soap!

If you really loved your mom, you'd sign the petition!

Well, it sounds like she probably would've gotten this falling over anyway.

Better that she find out sooner than later, I guess...

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