If Blizzard ever manages to deliver any one product on the time it promises, I will put my head between my knees, bite down, and devour my own underpants out in public.
Portal 2 has been pushed back to 2011, which may have something to do with the cancellation of Valve's E3 event - which, by the way, Valve would like to remind you will be Portal themed so stop creating silly rumors.
My oh my, what is this? A Valve game has been delayed from its intended release? The sky must be blood-red, the seas must be boiling, for the apocalypse is surely upon us! What's next? Will Blizzard fail to lock down a release date for Diablo III? Will Nintendo announce a new title featuring Mario? Will Hideo Kojima's next game be a confusing, philosophical mess?! This is a strange and bizarre new world we find ourselves in!
Erm, I got a bit distracted there. Sorry about that.
The following just showed up as a missive from Valve, confirming that Portal 2 would not be released this year as had been intended. Like you're surprised.
VALVE ANNOUNCES MAKING GAMES IS HARD
June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.
Those guys really do have the best press releases, don't they?
Other than confirming that Portal 2 would be delayed like Portal 1, the announcement stressed that the Valve E3 Surprise was Portal-related. That's right, folks: No Source Engine 2, no Half-Life 3, no Half-Life 2: Episode 3, and for Pete's sake, certainly no Duke Nukem Forever. Just Portal.
Wow, it's almost like they'd like people to stop creating unfounded rumors or something.
I got it! They will announce a Portal and Half-Life crossover game in which Chell and Gordon Freeman must work together to save the universe from the invasion of the evil Mushroom Kingdom, even at the cost of saving the Combine and GLaDOS in the process, right?!?!?!?!.....Erm, right?
Anyway, it's a shame that the announcement will not be Half-Life-related. That said, it does make one wonder what the announcement is about. I mean, if they are not going to be showcasing Portal 2 and it is Portal-related, I don't see what they could be doing to warrant the whole "suprise" aspect on such sort notice.
My oh my, what is this? A Valve game has been delayed from its intended release? The sky must be blood-red, the seas must be boiling, for the apocalypse is surely upon us! What's next? Will Blizzard fail to lock down a release date for Diablo III? Will Nintendo announce a new title featuring Mario? Will Hideo Kojima's next game be a confusion, philosophical mess?! This is a strange and confusing new world we find ourselves in!
Hay, birds fly, fish swim, Hilary Clinton wants to be president again, and Valve games get delayed.
Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, VALVe time is slow. It's a force a' Nature! If you were from where it was from, you'd still be an infant!
June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.
Those guys really do have the best press releases, don't they?
Not trying to be funny here, but where is the source from all this? Seams that most times i want to track down the original source of a valve related announcement or "press release" I GET NOTHING, at least not anything coming from a valve managed web, it's always emails and things like that, if they would like people to stop making rumors, valve could start by making an official news site and actually use it for things like this.
I will be thouroughly shocked if diablo 3 ships next year. I know they've announced it, but, I'd say, smart money is on a longer development process yet.
Not trying to be funny here, but where is the source from all this? Seams that most times i want to track down the original source of a valve related announcement or "press release" I GET NOTHING, at least not anything coming from a valve managed web, it's always emails and things like that, if they would like people to stop making rumors, valve could start by making an official news site and actually use it for things like this.
Valve probably emailed this to various game publications, including The Escapist.
June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.
Wait...THIS was their press release?
Holy shit, after a press release that hilarious, Valve could be saying "we are going to rob you blind and beat your family to death" and I'd probably let them.
It sucks that it's delayed, but man, this press release is EPIC.
Valve probably emailed this to various game publications, including The Escapist.
Yes, i figured as much. But i still think the same way, if the want less people to nag about crazy unfounded rumours (as it looks they do) they could start by choosing and sticking to a publicly accessible official web page and update it first(as of now i don't see any of this in valvesoftware.com/news/ of at steam), emailing to gaming news sites would still an option, but by doing this you can nip in the bud most fakes of official statements.
Plus a just getting started gaming news site could get the news from a trustworthy place without being on the "special email list" i assume known and established sites have to be.
Although maybe they don't want to do this to save money on the server space being that valve officially announces things every 200 years...
More on the original topic, this makes me wonder why bother at all on giving out the big news and cancel it almost immediately ("immediately" in valve time of course), what could have changed so much in so very little time, wasn't it possible to see this problem coming. It's not like they have a official statement rhythm standard to maintain.
And yet people vote Valve their favorite developer. Must be a love hate thing. I am annoyed with them about HL: EP III. I wounder when or if they will finally just cancel it.
June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.
Those guys really do have the best press releases, don't they?
Not trying to be funny here, but where is the source from all this? Seams that most times i want to track down the original source of a valve related announcement or "press release" I GET NOTHING, at least not anything coming from a valve managed web, it's always emails and things like that, if they would like people to stop making rumors, valve could start by making an official news site and actually use it for things like this.
If Blizzard ever manages to deliver any one product on the time it promises, I will put my head between my knees, bite down, and devour my own underpants out in public.