Total Recall Getting Total Remake

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Total Recall Getting Total Remake


Movie goers will be asked to get their posteriors back to Mars in an upcoming remake of Total Recall.

Women with three boobs. People's faces bugging out due to exposure to Mars' atmosphere. Pulling a golfball-sized tracker device out of your nose. These are but a few of the memorable moments from one of the greatest movies of all time: 1990's Total Recall starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. As of today, Underworld and Live Free or Die Hard director Len Wiseman is tasked with protecting its legacy with a remake.

Columbia Pictures is calling it a "contemporized adaptation" of Total Recall which was originally based on Phillip K. Dick's We Can Remember It for You Wholesale. Due to the mention of the book, it's possible this won't necessarily be a direct copy of the original film and may stick closer to Dick's text instead. Whether it does or not, there's simply no way it'll be as cool as the first movie.

I pride myself on not being a negative Nancy. If someone wants to remake a classic film I usually don't mind, and I'm even really looking forward to the expansion of the Back to the Future films through future Telltale adventure games. However, Total Recall might be too sacred a property to take on again. I'm just not sure anything can live up to the genius of the original, especially without Arnold Schwarzenegger punching everybody in the stomach as Douglas Quaid.

Despite the twists and turns, Total Recall itself isn't really all that cerebral. It just has so many funny moments, primarily due to Schwarzenegger and quotes such as "Get your ass to Mars" and "See you at the party Richter!" Who could replace Arnold in one of his best roles ever?

Columbia Pictures president Matt Tolmach says Wisemen will being a "contemporary feel to the film while taking care with everything we love about Philip K. Dick's original story." I'm interested to see what Wisemen can do, but let's face it: Nothing will ever beat a prostitute with three boobs. The film doesn't appear to have a release date just yet.

Via: Collider


*Intrigued Face*
Could be... interesting but as said it won't live up to the expectations the fans will want.

*sigh* Why do they have to remake fucking everything? I don't think people even care about this move any more, I'm sure there are much more famous movies that they could remake.

Ok this is one Nostalgia flick I DO NOT WANT A REMAKE OF. screw that im never gonna see the new one! it will forever tarnish the fond memories of the over the top original.

still thinks the best part was when Arnold pulled a random civilian as a meat shield, when he is suppose to be the good guy! XD

Oh dear. I cannot see this going well.

Oh wow, talk about blasts from the past! Well...with all the modern technology we have could actually be rather intresting!

Totally don't care. What the hell is wrong with Hollywood. If these people lead such pathetic lives that the only ideas they can come up with, is rehashing old shit, why don't they simply kill themselves and make room for people with actual thoughts.

NOOOOOOO!! Damn them!! How can they so cruel?! Anyway I don't expect much from this...

*slow sad face palm*

There have been maybe 3 good remakes and a hell lot of crappy ones. My crap sense is tingling.

Ive never seen Total Recall but because of what you've just said Mr Goldman, I may just give it a watch.

More on topic most fans of originals usually do not like Remakes and I assume this wont be any different.

why God? why God?

is their not an original idea left?


I loved that movie and can't wait to see the remake ^^

Dear Hollywood,

Fuck you.

The World.

Really now, I know there's no such thing as an original idea these days. But why is it every filmmaker of this generation feels the need to to create some shitty, poorly written remake of every great film I grew up with? What happened to the days when putting ones own ideas in front of millions of people was the goal? I dunno, I've seen too many films that I have such fond memories of completely destroyed with the modern retelling, and it's getting old.

And ya know, the last time I went to see a movie in theaters, I couldn't help but notice... that out of all the previews I saw, only one was for an original story. The rest? Remakes...

I feel Len is a bit doomed here, how can you possible remake Total Recall without Arnie and Michael Ironside. But...

Hey Benny, Sccreeewwww yyoooouuuu!

Couldn't they just put the original on at the cinema again? There's nothing wrong with it that it would need a re-make.

Ummm... Why?

The movie Total Recall was an awesome action film with lots of weird features, but it didn't really have anything to do with Dick's original short story, which was little more than a silly punchline-driven story. I don't think it was even more than 12 pages long. Where is the movie in that? This is totally pointless.

But if this is an attempt to make the worst movie ever, you're halfway there. Cast Jack Black in the lead role and you'll be rolling in the misery.

Lovely. Nothing like re-hashing a moderately successful nostalgic "classic" (well, in certain circles) for today's dipshit audience. I'm sure it'll make money, and any ads I see for it will cause me to die a little inside...

Naw, I mean...naw...

I don't mind remakes but Total Recall was just one of those movies I think that was not meant to survive outside the timeframe of its birth. Like the old Bond movies. Or like The Last Boyscout. I look back on those movies and you wanna hug them to peices, but you just know that if they were remade and re-released today, they wouldn't survive and it makes you sad.

So...this is one I don't have a good feeling about, but so long as they don't go the Lucas route of trying to marginalize the originals with the re-masters and remakes...I guess it won't make much difference to me anyway.

Funny...I'd still say Total Recall was where Arnie actually genuinely bought me with his acting (other than his usual set of one-liners :P ) precisely because of the kind of character he played.

Money. That's all its about.

Granted, some films need a new retelling (King Kong) because the original is so old the film it was filmed on can barely run through a projector these days.

But movies that are only 15-20 years old? Its SO blatantly an executive saying "Our target demographic is 20-30 year olds, lets make movies out of their childhood" its degrading.

Hollywood is basically putting a bit of special FX on film, not really caring about it, and standing outside the cinema with their hands out saying "Okay, we have 120 minutes of footage we did as minimal effort on as possible, BUT THE NAME IS TOTAL RECALL/A-TEAM/TRANSFORMERS/etcetcetc. Hand over your money because you enjoyed it the first time."

The most laughable thing is the folks who dont believe they'll remake things from the 90s.

Why should Hollywood execs have morals over 10 year old films if they dont over 20 year old films?

If the public is dumb enough to pass through a paycounter to see it, they'll do it.

So if you've gone to see any of these remakes - you're the one you should be blaming. If no one watched them, they wouldn't make them.


Okay to be serious, I really liked Paul Verhovens Total Recall.. I thought it was shit hot. Mostly (as said by the OP) because of Arnold's hammy acting and punching people.

That said, I'm sort of looking forward to a remake, I've learned my lesson of having a negative outlook on future films or games before I know enough about them. I do enjoy watching a different directors take on adapting the same book, to see how they envisioned the world, setting and characters of the book.

So yeah, I'm pretty optimistic of this project. Will it be a piece of shit or a flop?. Who knows.

Oh for the love of all that is holy! Why? Why, why, why, why, why?! Okay, I know the answer to that; money of course. It was rhetorical.

You know what? Fuck you, Hollywood. Fuck you and your creatively bankrupt asses. You are so devoid of any original ideas that you just keep remaking old movies. At least if it was a sequel, it would have some merit. It would still be cashing in on an established brand, but it would have more merit than this. Goddamnit, I am so sick of this remake plague being forced on us...

Efficiency in the movie business. Remake something so that enough people will see it in order to turn a minor profit by denigrating the original material. Don't get me wrong. I love Total Recall, but I love it for the camp factor. It was a cheesy movie, but that's the whole charm!

Also, please don't let the Back to the Future franchise be remade. I would honestly probably cry because though there were many of movies that came out during my formative years (that are being remade and are mediocre at best), BTTF was one of my faves.

Fucking no!!!! Fuck you Len. Paul Verhoeven is a fucking god and it blasphemous to remake his film with some shitty director. What's next? Robocop? Showgirls?

Also...I seriously doubt they'll be able to remake all of these parts. :D

What's next? Robocop?

Dude, shuttup. Don't give them any ideas. <_< >_>

OT: This is one movie that never ever needed a remake in my opinion. Honestly, I haven't actually read the book, abd I can't guage how different that was to Total Recall. If it differs alot from TR, I suppose they might be able to get away with a more faithful adaption. But a remake of TR itself is just a stupid idea, in my opinion. Go find some other sci-fi book to adapt.

I'm excited for this. I loved TR, and well more of that would be pretty smashing. Remake or not, do want. :)


I freaking love total Recall. It is such a great movie, and second only to the Terminator as Arnie's best role. Maybe.

Not all remakes are doomed to failure. For example I thought that the karate Kid remake was actually really good. But that is a very open idea and could be done in different ways. Total Recall is a very specific IP and I doubt that the remake will be taken in any new direction.

So....Arnie's pushing for less violence in video games then.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Exhibit A.

Dr. Awesome Face:

I freaking love total Recall. It is such a great movie, and second only to the Terminator as Arnie's best role. Maybe.

Commando and Predator will always be my favourites ^^

This could be amazing, but I dunno how well it'll do without the Arnster himself.

I suppose they could tone up the whole is it a dream or is it real thing

No! don't mess with Total Recall.

It's a perfectly good film, nigh flawless in it's making, if anything, one should re-release a DVD of that film.

Keep Total Recall where it is, please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?

sorry, wanted to vent that out.

I don't like remakes but i think this remake is going to suck for only 1 reason it doesn't have Arnold schwarzenegger

What's with the current trend of remaking movies that DO NOT need to be remade? First The Karate Kid, and now this?


What's next? Robocop?

Dude, shuttup. Don't give them any ideas. <_< >_>

OT: This is one movie that never ever needed a remake in my opinion. Honestly, I haven't actually read the book, abd I can't guage how different that was to Total Recall. If it differs alot from TR, I suppose they might be able to get away with a more faithful adaption. But a remake of TR itself is just a stupid idea, in my opinion. Go find some other sci-fi book to adapt.

If it's not going to be like the movie why remake Total Recall? Why not just make the motion picture We Can Remember It For You Wholesale?

The Dick short story is too short to make a whole film out of. IIRC the movie was only really true to it for the first part. They could be just as true to the text as Total Recall and make a totally different film.

I think that Philip K Dick is a very interesting writer who still has a lot of relevant things to say to most people. Not sure how well Total Recall was communicating his ideas with it's bone crunching sound effects and martian freak show but it was entertaining for the time. That other well known science fiction action movie The Matrix, oddly enough, was best when it was stealing wholesale from Dick which goes to show that you can actually make a more contemporary film by going back to the source.

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