400 Unqualified Schmucks Sign Up For One-Way Mission to Mars

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Crap... What if they do manage to populate Mars? That's an entire planet led by mentalists... (Not in the Simon Baker sense)
What's more, they'd be religious and moronic, I don't think a crusade against Martians is a good idea... Look what happened to Israel...
They're going to ruin Mars for us! GODDAMNIT!

Crap... That started ironic but I don't think it ended that way...

As much as I'd love to go to space some day, I don't think I'd ever want to take a one-way suicide trip there. Unless I was at the stage of life where I couldn't be expected to live long enough for the return trip, anyway.

emeraldrafael:
Hm... The idea of sending 400 people into space alone is extraordinary, considering that in the Space Shuttle era of the NASA program, they only sent 7 people, and it was this ratio that essentially made it impossible to send more then a dozen to twenty people into space.

Still... I kinda like the idea, though I think we should just stick menaces to society and people that cause the world's culture to go through retardation.

NASA only sent up a few people at a time because they brought them back. And they all knew just about everything about the ship. Any of them could fly the ships or fix the ships. They all knew what they were doing.

And do you realize how big the ship would need to be? They would need to carry supplies for a long time (unless everyone plans on starving after a few days). There is literally nothing humans can use to survive on mars (ok, it has ice caps, but no food or atmosphere to grow food). There are some jets that fit 400 people, but you would have to live in it, not sit in it for a few hours. So they would need to bring construction materials to build a temporary colony. If you do that, you might as well build a permenant one and be done with it.

So I don't think this is possible right now. It might be after the construction of a space elevator (which would make bringing materials and people into space really really really easy).

When are you gonna reach the planet you're meant to be colonising?

Oh, well we're nearly there!... I think... yes. Any second now. Well it's probably time I got out of the bath in fact. Ha ha. Oh... I don't know though... why stop just when you're enjoying it, you know I always say...

So we're actually going to land in a minute?

Well not, not, not so much land in fact, I think as far as I can remember we're programmed to, er... crash on it.


"Crash"?

Yes. It's all part of the plan... I think. There was terribly good reason for it which I can't... quite... remember at the moment.


You're a load of useless, bloody loonies!!


Ah, yes, that was it, that was reason it was. Ha. Pass me the loofah will you?


The other two-thirds, of course, stayed at home and lived full, rich, and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone.

Ghastly. It all is. Just don't even talk about it.

zfactor:

emeraldrafael:
Hm... The idea of sending 400 people into space alone is extraordinary, considering that in the Space Shuttle era of the NASA program, they only sent 7 people, and it was this ratio that essentially made it impossible to send more then a dozen to twenty people into space.

Still... I kinda like the idea, though I think we should just stick menaces to society and people that cause the world's culture to go through retardation.

NASA only sent up a few people at a time because they brought them back. And they all knew just about everything about the ship. Any of them could fly the ships or fix the ships. They all knew what they were doing.

And do you realize how big the ship would need to be? They would need to carry supplies for a long time (unless everyone plans on starving after a few days). There is literally nothing humans can use to survive on mars (ok, it has ice caps, but no food or atmosphere to grow food). There are some jets that fit 400 people, but you would have to live in it, not sit in it for a few hours. So they would need to bring construction materials to build a temporary colony. If you do that, you might as well build a permenant one and be done with it.

So I don't think this is possible right now. It might be after the construction of a space elevator (which would make bringing materials and people into space really really really easy).

Thats what I was saying when I siad the proportions made it difficult to send more then seven up there and just to bring them back. UNless they stopped at the space station for a refueling/supplying mission.

Hell, if we have a way to keep these idiots people alive for a considerable time, you know, build greenhouses and the like, it would be an interesting solution to overpopulation.

badgersprite:
When life emulates The Onion...

Wow. Just wow.

Ha! :')

Samurai Goomba:

vrbtny:

Sparrow:
This is the last thing we need: Mars, completely populated of people who are only American. Atleast send some Canadians up or something, mix it up a little.

What about the British? We could bring our weather.... actually, scratch that.

No!! Bring the British, we know how to make a good cup of tea!!!

Bah, I've been making good tea my whole life, and I'm American!

(grumble grumble... British, think nobody else can make tea... mumble... )

I didn't say that you couldn't make tea.... the english just make it better.

we've had more practice after all

And the pioneers were qualified in what way, they learned what needed to be done when it happened.

if it doesn't work out it will be a sweet deal for the movie industry as they tell the tale of disaster; if it works ya we have ppl living full-time on another planet.

and if they all die, we lose nothing except an expensive machine\

Sparrow:
This is the last thing we need: Mars, completely populated of people who are only American. Atleast send some Canadians up or something, mix it up a little.

at that point it doesn't matter if they were American, at that point they would be Martian

And BTW which country has the highest diversity?

Will there be a livestream?

Guys, I highly doubt they will send a bunch of random people on a potentially billion dollar mission. You can bet these people will be rigorously tested physically and mentally. They'll just lack the diverse skill sets of modern astronauts.

Just ship them out to a completely lifeless desert in the middle of nowhere. They won't know the difference.

Onyx Oblivion:
Totally unqualified people, banding together for a likely suicide mission.

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've read all day.

And I spent 20 minutes on fanfiction.net earlier.

Welcome to TEH INTERNETZ. Seriously, if all the stupidity bunched up towards Mars, we'd save oxygen and all kinds of other resources for the sane kind.

I say, FIRE THEM AWAY SCOTTY!

Hahahahaha.... Yeah I know the feeling. Been there done that with Earth. It's a beautiful place and all but... I've seen it. Let me bring a handheld and I'm good to go. So sign me up I'm down with this.

I imagine the worst feeling in the world would be about a week after take off, when they realize "what the FUCK HAVE I DONE" and just collapse into a psychologically broken mess as they realize they just committed suicide in the most lonely drawn out way possible.

emeraldrafael:

philosophicalbastard:
I actually think this is a good idea. It would not only fix the population crisis, but also unemployment. We could also find valuable resources that could be mined by the colony.

How would you get it back? This is a one way journey.

Also... how are you goind to send 400 people into space without one of them even knowing how to operate the craft their in? They'll burn up and die from someone doing something like being "that guy who's a total douche" and screw something up in the craft. Ten to one odds it burns up before ever hitting the troposphere, fifty to one before it leaves the stratosphere, and 100 to one before it leaves the Mesosphere.

If the resources are valuable enough you can afford send a ship over there to collect it.

You can also install a computer on the ship to fly the thing and prevent some random douche from fucking things up.

Viivrabe:
And the pioneers were qualified in what way, they learned what needed to be done when it happened.

if it doesn't work out it will be a sweet deal for the movie industry as they tell the tale of disaster; if it works ya we have ppl living full-time on another planet.

and if they all die, we lose nothing except an expensive machine\

Sparrow:
This is the last thing we need: Mars, completely populated of people who are only American. Atleast send some Canadians up or something, mix it up a little.

at that point it doesn't matter if they were American, at that point they would be Martian

And BTW which country has the highest diversity?

Diversiland! The secret society that lives under the Earth and seeks to represent every race!

vrbtny:
Look, just because they ain't university qualified is probably a good. The people who signed up may know how to actually fix mechanical stuff, unlike University grads..... who know how to write a good essay.

Honestly, if I was going, I would prefer to be with the guy who could fix the oxygen generator -- and not the guy who can write a highly literate report about the advantages of repairing the damn thing.

Yeah, I honestly don't know where you got "university qualified" from? It's entirely reasonable to call people who have no survival skills or who have normal day jobs like computer programming and office work, 'unqualified'. Being qualified doesn't mean having the ability to write a big essay, it means having the necessary skills for whatever job they happen to be doing. And I would prefer an essay-writing engineering-graduate to a school dropout who did an apprenticeship in plumbing.

Hey can we sign up other people??

emeraldrafael:

zfactor:
NASA only sent up a few people at a time because they brought them back. And they all knew just about everything about the ship. Any of them could fly the ships or fix the ships. They all knew what they were doing.

And do you realize how big the ship would need to be? They would need to carry supplies for a long time (unless everyone plans on starving after a few days). There is literally nothing humans can use to survive on mars (ok, it has ice caps, but no food or atmosphere to grow food). There are some jets that fit 400 people, but you would have to live in it, not sit in it for a few hours. So they would need to bring construction materials to build a temporary colony. If you do that, you might as well build a permenant one and be done with it.

So I don't think this is possible right now. It might be after the construction of a space elevator (which would make bringing materials and people into space really really really easy).

Thats what I was saying when I siad the proportions made it difficult to send more then seven up there and just to bring them back. UNless they stopped at the space station for a refueling/supplying mission.

That's why I'm advocating a space elevator. You just send the stuff up on an elevator connected to a space station in a geosynchonus orbit (I think I spelled that right... It means the space station is in a high enough orbit to always be above the same point on the ground. It's how GPS satilites work.). Initial cost would be high, but it would be really inexpensive to maintain a hotel up there. And who doesn't want to spend a weekend in space?

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE, BITCHES!

...sorry, I get super excited about space travel and I forgot NASA lost all most of its funding...

-sigh-

Actually, I wouldn't mind going on a suicide mission to Mars, but only if I were old and dying and the alternative was a retirement home. And I had a buggy.

But I imagine 400 other suicidal people would make for pretty poor company.

20 years?

Who needs to wait, just stuff them in a really big cannon and fire!

Nothing can go wrong :D

Too many people on earth, the perfect solution is sending hordes to new lands. Even if they are unqualified, a horde can still manage amazing things (one zombie is usually slow and useless, but a horde of zombies cannot be stopped).

First we should send streams of unmanned mini bio domes, then just keep sending anyone who's willing to go in self flying ships. It would be hard for most, and many would die, just like the pioneers, but eventually they'd make progress and we'd have another planet dominated by humanity and the exploration of space could finally make real progress.

Where do I sign up?

Onyx Oblivion:
Totally unqualified people, banding together for a likely suicide mission.

This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've read all day.

And I spent 20 minutes on fanfiction.net earlier.

Actually it sounds a LOT LIKE THIS:

image

Oh so many memories.

Mike Laserbeam:
Crap... What if they do manage to populate Mars? That's an entire planet led by mentalists... (Not in the Simon Baker sense)
What's more, they'd be religious and moronic, I don't think a crusade against Martians is a good idea... Look what happened to Israel...
They're going to ruin Mars for us! GODDAMNIT!

Crap... That started ironic but I don't think it ended that way...

... the only thing moronic is the idea that all religious people are bloodthirsty and would crusade against aliens. Nothing wrong with religious people except the extremists. Learn the difference.

Yeah, I think the problem here is that people just don't realize how unlikely something like this is to even be CLOSE to working. We aren't just shipping them to Mars and they'll live there in cramped tanks for the next 20 years. We are much more likely sending them to die either in space when they screw something up there, on landing when they crash and burn, or at best shortly thereafter when something, ANYTHING, unexpected happens. It'd be like throwing an egg off of niagra falls and hoping it hatches into a chicken.

They will proberbly send up the 10 of them with the best skills, and just put the other 390 in a fake version of the spaceship and haul em off to a desert for a reality TV show.

emeraldrafael:

Ten to one odds it burns up before ever hitting the troposphere,

Doesn't the troposphere extend down to the ground?

OT: Seems like a bad idea, but possibly a decent film, maybe a little bit like Moon. They could call it Mars. Everyone killing each other seems likely but if they manage to make it to the point where all but one has died naturally, you just know that sorry buggers going to jump out of a window and suffocate.

Progress demands sacrifice?

To be fair, if people have volunteered for a one way trip to Mars then why exactly is this a problem? It's not like the company proposing this wouldn't spend 5-6 years training these colonists for the rigours of space flight and colonisation.

Not only that but any trip to Mars would likely be a one way trip because the Earth orbits the Sun at a rate faster than conventional rocketry.

To get back to Earth you'd have to wait 2 years (I think), launch your rocket, and 'meet' the Earth on it's orbital path. So any trip to Mars is going to likely be a one way trip as who-know-what structural integrity damage and other system problems will arise between launch, reaching the destination, cold storage of propulsion system in Martian orbit for 2 years ....

You're better off just sending a whole flet of colonising vessels and calling it quits ... hope the casualty rates are significantly low enough that permanent structures can be built and maintained for further colonisation.

Possibly even beable to create some technical base on Mars that can create a means to eventually create two way travel between the planets.

I don't see this happening until we see a world unity. Also while we're not to the point of colonizing Mars, we are at a point where we can build an outpost there, and that's what this is actually about. Sticking a few people there to see how well they do and gather information before we committ to something like a full fledged colony.

That said, I don't think there would ever be much of a problem finding volunteers, as a result should recruiting ever happen I think NASA will have a substantial pool of people to pick from, and will doubtlessly only select the best and healthiest people they can get.

Being underqualified doesn't really matter all that much here though, because in the end the only people actually qualified to do something like this are already astronauts. It's likely we'd have to train people going anyway,

Given that it's a one way trip I'd imagine the requirements are going to be to get people as young as possible, like 18 years old in the US, meaning they might very well be recruiting them as young as 12-14 years old. The difficulty here being that anyone young enough to go is going to have their whole life ahead of them, as opposed to a jaded, middle aged person who has comparitively less to lose. What's more I'd imagine anyone going would also need to be chemically castrated. Your going to want both men and women on the mission in order to see the affects on the slightly differant biology, but at the same time you don't want to risk the complications of pregnancy or childbirth in a situation like that.

Truthfully China or Russia probably have an advantage in setting something like this up because their relatively lax human rights standards means they can probably pick pools of children based on capabilities (prodigies and the like) and then pretty much put them through training and select the ones they want without "no, I don't want to" being a valid answer. Although I'd imagine this would only come up if they are the ones unifying the globe.

In the end deciding who goes is going to be a big deal if it ever happens, and the people going are doubtlessly going to be young enough for it to be a sacrifice.

This is going to end badly...<.<

random_bars:
Anyone else think this would be an awesome premise for an RPG?

Either that or stick in a mass murderer and you have the plot for the worst scifi movie i have ever read.

And i write fanfiction >.<

Bet they won't even make it to Mars.

...screw it. I'm in. Someone has to go up, and honestly, the more diverse the skillsets and backgrounds are, probably the better. For all the folks laughing about this, fine, enjoy the laughter. But if we manage to get up there and colonize another planet for the first time in human history, sooner rather than later we could end up with one badass future.

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