400 Unqualified Schmucks Sign Up For One-Way Mission to Mars

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Let them go. Maybe something cool will happen, like maybe they'll all get sick with some sort of alien virus and turn into hideous monsters.

*I've been playing a lot Dead Space


They would need to bring professional people I reckon, or have an extremely goddamn good space ship that is unprofessional/idiot compatible.

I'd be up for going to Mars though, I'd bring suicide pills just in case something goes wrong but it'd be an amazing experience even if we all starve to death, go drifting into space, the ship blows up or some crazy stuff like that.

People don't actually give enough credit to how amazing and unexplored Mars is, sure we've sent robots there before (Some Asian country did I think?) but there are large parts of it that could be studied in greater depth and complexity.

Also I like that this would be privately funded, cause the US government and pretty much the whole world are already morons who are dealing with an economic crisis and we only have a short amount of time until the Earth becomes unlivable and we need to do more space research.

I understand the enthusiasm, but I don't think these people understand the gravity (ho,ho) of being stuck on Mars, of all places.

It wouldn't be too bad if they could have internet access; it would eliminate the possibility of extreme boredom and the feeling of disconnection.

So...Anyone can signup?

Where do I sign in?!

OT: Sending unqualified people into space? Yeah i can't see that failing.

well if NASA would ever want to do something similair in the near future there wouldnt be a shortatge of volunteers

Daystar Clarion:
This could be a very effective way of dispensing of... undesirables. Is there room for PETA?

"Imagine a world without animal cruelty: Mars! Because where there are no animals, no-one can be cruel to them."

And with no breathable atmosphere, water and its unlikely they will be able to prouce food. How long will they last ? Now unless they have people who can somehow get an atmosphere that people can survive in to go to mars, its pretty much pople joining to commit suicide in a cool way (seriously you get zero gravity, it has an upside, until you run out of air/food/water and die).

mmm social darwinism at work me thinks XD

id say let them go. Whats the best that can happen? they succeed and establish an actual mars colony? the worst is they all die.

Look, just because they ain't university qualified is probably a good. The people who signed up may know how to actually fix mechanical stuff, unlike University grads..... who know how to write a good essay.

Honestly, if I was going, I would prefer to be with the guy who could fix the oxygen generator -- and not the guy who can write a highly literate report about the advantages of repairing the damn thing.

What do you even think happens in university? I mean, most of the university courses where i'm at are mechanics courses, aero-dynamics courses and computing courses. Since when was a university all about writing?

Secondly, that oxygen generator will more than likely be a plant of some sort.

A very important question: will there be internet on mars?

I don't know if this is good or bad... In a way, we're putting those people to some good use. Like a lab experiment. Testing technology that real scientists can use later on with less risk. On the other hand, if they find a way to survive there, or if they make contact with an hypothetical alien race...it will be written for all eternity that real human space exploration was started by 400 Schmucks.

We need a backup plan.

You don't need a backup plan. You just need plenty of expendable assets. And if we can get 400 idiots today, I guarantee we can get 400 idiots tomorrow.

Now all we need is an idiot with far, far too much money to fund the venture.

Pretty funny, but gov'ts better pull their heads out (ie stop bickering and fighting over the coins tossed by their corporate overlords) & consider what may happen if Mars, or any other body in our solar system, is reached by human expeditions that are NOT representative of humanity but rather, private or corporate interests. There's a reason nobody can own Antarctica or the moon.

Anyone else think this would be an awesome premise for an RPG?

and when they get to mars they awaken the evil aliens and have t stop them before they destroy them and the earth hmmmm yes that would be good i think

Where do I sign up?

Ctrl F: Ass

*Excellent... allow me...*

"Get your ass to Mars."

Daystar Clarion:
This could be a very effective way of dispensing of... undesirables. Is there room for PETA?

Hey there mister animal rights extremist, how would you liek to live in a world where no animals are beeing mistreated, and no-one eats real meat?

Should be easy to sell the idea to them.


Andy Chalk:

Douglas Adams fans will recall that one of the three sapient forms of life on this planet actually descended from the Golgafrinchans, who eons ago decided to tidy up their society a bit by tricking the most useless one-third of the population - hairdressers, insurance salesmen, management consultants, telephone sanitizers and the like - to board a great colonist spaceship which was then hurled out into space and eventually crash-landed on Earth.

That's the very first thing I thought of when I saw that title. Let's just hope they call the ship the 'B' Ark.

And send it to the sun.

That seems like the only people who would do that/able to afford the visit in the beginning the insanely rich, and thats something you wouldnt always do. And besides, wouldnt you have ot worry about meteor strikes and what not? and doesnt the space station orbit around the earth, so the elevator would be torn away when the space station tried to move.

Then again, I could be wrong.

Well the idea of a space elevator would be to make getting materials (and people) into space for cheaper than now. Now, you have to strap anything you want into space to a few thousand gallons of various chemicals and shoot it into space at insanely fast speeds. Those resourses are very expensive and you can only take up a few people because of that. If you made a space elevator, it would be much less expensive.

You have to worry about meteor strikes and other debris in space all the time. The international space station is coated with 18 inches of kevlar for that reason.

Yes, the elevator would be torn away if the space station left a geosynchronus orbit. So you wouldn't do that for that exact reason. If you are in a geosynchronus orbit, you are always above the same position on earth. So if you don't change your orbit, you can make a shaft that goes down to earth for an elevator.

Imagine the news in 20 years:

"On the lighter side of the news, 400 of the would be martian colonists have all died. Early reports indicate suicide, since the only thing they brought for entertainment were copies of Dynasty Warriors and Jersey Shore seasons 1-42. Next, Sports..."

I would like to sign up the following list of people:

Samurai Goomba:


This is the last thing we need: Mars, completely populated of people who are only American. Atleast send some Canadians up or something, mix it up a little.

What about the British? We could bring our weather.... actually, scratch that.

No!! Bring the British, we know how to make a good cup of tea!!!

Bah, I've been making good tea my whole life, and I'm American!

(grumble grumble... British, think nobody else can make tea... mumble... )

You haven't tried my tea!

My tea is so good all my friends make me make them tea :D

Well this is one way of lowering the population...

Some things in life are worth dying for to some, and this is one of them. I wouldn't go though, no hot blue alien chicks :(

Well what did they expect? There was hardly likely to be a long line of unemployed astronauts...

Besides, couldn't they train the candidates? Oh, wait sorry it's modern corporations so they expect everyone to already have experience even though they can't get the experience without being given a job, my bad.

i for one applaud this, they know what the risk is and if they still want to go ahead who are we to stop them?

besides, most of the worlds greatest explorers were insane to some degree, you have to be to try and be the first to go to the places they went (ie: antarctica, everest, i could go on) and those explorers weren't exactly qualified either so its not like there isn't a precedent

But if the water filtration unit breaks, then we're all going to get infected by a living water organism and try to return to Earth to infect the whole planet! :<

Personally, I'd rather just freeze myself for a hundred years and wait until there's a more viable form of inter-planetary travel.

To the story poster. Well aren't you full of poison. Yes, it is not a great idea to send idiots to Mars. But your response to their enthusiasm for this mission is to call the volunteers shmucks. You have issues....

Shouldn't we be trying this with the moon first? I'm just saying..

EDIT: Also I don't understand the space elevator, the bit that it would be attached to is in space, there isn't anything holding it up there, it's just floating about. The moment that you stick a 5 ton carriage onto the cable attached to it and start pulling your way up, you're gonna pull your space station down to the planet no?

Oh, Unless the thing in space is firing thrusters to keep itself in the same position the whole time, but then surely that's almost the same as using thrusters to send a ship up.. meh.

Welcome to Mars! Here's your sledgehammer.

Thanks for working with Ultor!

I'd be much more concerned about dying from radiation poisoning on Mars, since it doesn't have the Van Allen Belts to protect my pasty white ass from all that radiation the sun launches out every time there is a solar flare or solar prominence. And no matter how much of a tan I get, my ass is still pasty white when it comes to radiation.

The Martians are going to be like "WTF? How stupid are these earthlings?"

...Then they'll blast the humans with laser weapons.

Like things tend to do, yeah.


Let them go. Maybe something cool will happen, like maybe they'll all get sick with some sort of alien virus and turn into hideous monsters.

*I've been playing a lot Dead Space


He said "something cool".

That aside, I actually LIKE that idea a lot.
Isn´t this pretty much how any real colonization on earth worked so far ?
Send people, they try to establish or prepare a colony, they die.
Send more people, who try to use the already existing work to progress farther, they die etc.
Pretty sure that´s how America got started.

So then, in a couple (read: A LOT) years from now on, we will have Mars colony, who can then declare itself idependent, which starts a war that will lead to incredible bloodshed and ultimatly the invention of the deep-fried twinkie.

On second thought..... let´s not do this.

Under qualified? What a stupid and narrow minded thing to say.

Educate them! Then they'll be qualified.

you could make a reality show from this! the loser gets thrown out of the nearest airlock! we can call it: Big Brother NASA edition!

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