Ubisoft Unveils a Sexy Wii Minigame Compilation for Adults

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Ubisoft Unveils a Sexy Wii Minigame Compilation for Adults

Is the phrase "sexy Wii minigame compilation" making your brain hurt? Just wait until you've seen the trailer.

As a games writer, every so often you come across something that simply defies description - for any number of reasons. It just makes your jaw hang open while the text box on the screen remains blank as words fail you.

This is one of those times.

The trailer you see here is for Ubisoft's We Dare, an adult-oriented minigame compilation for both the Wii and the PlayStation Move (though judging from the game's name it seems likely that it started life as a Wii title). To put it simply, it looks like Ubisoft is trying to make the point that minigames don't have to just be for kids anymore.

I'm going to reiterate: This is not a hoax, and you can stop checking your calendar wondering if April Fools' is a day early. According to the UK rating site PEGI, this is a real thing.

You may feel second-hand embarrassment at this trailer - that this is a real product that people worked on, and that this is a real commercial that some marketing team came up with. This is also what Ubisoft thinks most male gamers look like, apparently. Also note the homoeroticism - both ways! - thrown in at one of the bonus scenes at the end.

At least they're using a Wii condom.

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I'd love to see Jedward try and market that!

What is this I don't even

I guess I'm surprised it took this long? I don't even know.

And Japan is considered strange...

This is just cringeworthy.

What...this has to be a joke.

I think it's pretty amusing how the game itself got a PEGI rating of 12 - it just seems to have very rude implications on the part of the players...

So who wants a game, eh? Anyone?

To spice up a party, why not? To have an orgy, why not? To prove that games are mature, HELL NO!

Calumon: Wow, it must be really hot if they wanted to take their clothes off like that?

Jack: Gah! How long have you been watching!?

Actually Irridium is right. I'm surprised it took this long...

That was really painful to watch, I stopped it twice.

That entire display was vile and all-around unappealing. Watching it made me feel dirty and I don't appreciate that they would make such a thing. At the very least this wasn't marketed to kids, but it will not help games seem mature.

Swingers rejoice!

Jack and Calumon:
So who wants a game, eh? Anyone?

To spice up a party, why not? To have an orgy, why not? To prove that games are mature, HELL NO!

Calumon: Wow, it must be really hot if they wanted to take their clothes off like that?

Jack: Gah! How long have you been watching!?

I hope you've given Calumon him 'the talk', considering the time you spend online.

I'm just glad it's not "Whack-a-pole"

and so we are one step closer to wii intercourse...

I know it's hard to make these trailors look 'not fake', but they could have at least used a laughing clip that was longer than two seconds.

Suffice to say, this has not persuaded me to buy a Wii.

how do you unsee something?? I really need that skill now more then ever.

Wow.

...

Wow...

Damn the people in that video look like exactly that kind of boring buisness people folks you would expect to be so pumped dry from their meaningless jobs that they need to buy a video game to get a gangbang going. They even have that appartement that looks like a muesum instead of a place you live in.

Amazing piece of gaming history.

That was almost more painful to sit through then the Dead Island trailer.

Sweet mother of God.

That was my initial reaction. My second was...

It is deeply sexist that the men appear shirtless while the women don't.

Then I was right back to...

Sweet mother of God.

Ranooth:
I'd love to see Jedward try and market that!

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

Wouldn't.

teqrevisited:
And Japan is considered strange...

This is just cringeworthy.

Come on that is nothing compared to half the stuff you see at the sex shops. Whats even better is that im betting I know atleast 5 or 6 girls who would try it out.

Next week on Fox News; DOES THE WII MAKE YOU A SEXUAL PREDATOR? OUR REPORT SAYS DEFINATELY! WE ASKED A SCIENTIST!

It looks more awkward than sexual. I almost feel sorry for those people who are playing it in the ad.

That was far too embarrassing for me to watch all the way through...

Just how much did they pay those guys to even appear in that?

misterprickly:
I'm just glad it's not "Whack-a-pole"

I'm disapointed it isn't.

I see this as soon to be featured on Mad Love, and Perfect Couples, and The Bachleor.

Is the fight already on to see who gets to do the review around the Escapist office? And does the fighting include a pit of mud?

Oh god....THE PAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN *EXPLODE INTO BEES*

Even stranger than the trailer is the rating: 12+ for "Mild Sexual References".
WHAT THE FUCK.

The fuck was that?

I... just, wow.

A sexual party game that's only 12+ yet only basically exists for...

No.

No.

...

...

...this is perhaps the stupidest, most disturbing idea ever. The games looked clumsy and unsexy (face-rubbing controller, spanking controller)...

...who is their target audience?

...why is this only 12+?

...why are they laughing like drugged up hyenas?

...oh and I really hope they wash that wii remote afterwards...

EDIT: The only ppl likely to play this are idiots playing 'gay chicken' and even then, they wouldn't pay money to buy this...

I'm glad I didn't receive this memo....

-________-

This was my face through the entirety of this video. But I can't help but wonder who's gonna buy it because someone is going to.

Ón the future when people want to argue that videogames are evil can they please replace rapelay with this at the end of every sentence

This is a 12+ game?!

OMG! Games are supposed to art!

How dare they!

They are as bad as EA with these commercials!

Hurp Derp.

Yeah, I think this is lame.

Didn't Extra Credits just now make an episode about EA's marketing?

Is this irony or cruelty?

Excuse me, I need to go drink a bottle of bleach....

IamQ:
Didn't Extra Credits just now make an episode about EA's marketing?

Is this irony or cruelty?

It's both, but talk about timing...

I think I sat staring blankly at my monitor for a couple minutes before I could even comprehend what my eyes were telling my brain what I was seeing.

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