Smell Like an Orc With D&D-Inspired Perfume

Smell Like an Orc With D&D-Inspired Perfume

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What does a Dwarf smell like? How about a Chaotic Half-Elf Rogue?

It's easy to simulate most of our senses in a tabletop RPG campaign. Sight? The dungeon-master draws a map, and characters are represented with figurines. Sound? With digital media, you could score your game with a soundtrack, or just make the sounds with your voice like you did when you were a kid. Touch? Hit each other with bopper swords.

Taste and Smell are a bit trickier, but we may have that last one covered. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has released its new line of RPG-inspired perfumes and cologne based on standard fantasy races, classes, and even alignments.

You might opt to pick up the Dwarf scent, which is made with "iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather," in comparison to the Half-Elf's "white sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk."

According to Black Phoenix, a Paladin smells like "immaculate white musk, sweet frankincense, bourbon vanilla, white leather, and shining armor," while a Fighter is just "leather, musk, blood, and steel."

Frankly, this all makes sense. A Dwarf smells like iron and stone and beer, a Paladin smells holy - but how on earth do you make a fragrance for character alignments? Black Phoenix tried its damnedest, assigning "rigid oak, blue chamomile, rhubarb, and fig leaf" to those of the Lawful persuasion, whereas those sinister Evil folks get "smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root."

This is actually very cool and you can tell a lot of thought went into it. Honestly, if more D&D players wore cologne, conventions might smell a whole lot better.

Pick up a phial of your choice at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.

(Via Neatorama)

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My life is now complete.

John Funk:
Taste and Smell are a bit trickier, but we may have that last one covered.

I remembered that we apparently had taste covered as well thanks to Jones Soda. Dungeons and Dragons: The Soda.

Some of those sound quite nice actually.

D&D perfumes: In a class all their own and Worth every scent

Oh God, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is an addiction. Their scents are all so complex and lovely...well, most, anyway. Some of them smell a little too much like what they're meant to (I can't think of enough occasions to smell like wet dirt, for example, though it's lovely as an added touch to a zombie costume) and some just aren't to my taste, but the vast majority of them are absolutely amazing.

I've been waiting for this section to go up.

Sounds really cool, shame these aren't at brick stores so you could actually sniff and see which one you like before buying. I'd hate to get one that sounds like it would smell great but then you put it on and can't stand it.

Be prepared for the next time your DM tells you to roll a scent check.

AMAZING!

I will, of course, need to mix-and-match. Dwarven Rouge who is Lawful but, Evil. That should be an interesting scent. Or more realistically, 4 scents to switch to and from day-to-day.

...They put the scent of blood in the fighter one... how?

I'm such a sucker for perfume, and Black Phoenix has some amazing scents. Just ordered Cleric, here's to hoping it's as awesome as it looks.

Would love to try some of these. Too bad they only ship to the US.

I was disappointed not to see barbarian scent in there. Then again, wearing double the usual amount of fighter with fur and concentrated rage might smell like barbarian anyways.....and BARD! Where is the bard scent? I need a scent I can LARP AND get the ladies with!

Slycne:

John Funk:
Taste and Smell are a bit trickier, but we may have that last one covered.

I remembered that we apparently had taste covered as well thanks to Jones Soda. Dungeons and Dragons: The Soda.

well, thats it, my life is now complete.

Not only can a person now smell like a Dwarf, but also drink Dwarven Stout with a side of "sneak attack".

........what does sneak attack taste like anyway?

the answer, tears, sweet sweet tears of frustration.....

OT: Why.

Why would anyone want to smell like an Orc........ or a Paladin.......Or an Evil alignment character........ no, WHY would anyone want to smell like something from Dungeons & Dragons in the first place?

Why does this even exist?

Well I am 17.95 poorer.

Im a bit of a bloodhound when it comes to scents sometimes, you should smell my house.

I am literally (LITERALLY) going to buy this. Im going to for the fighter. The way its described reminds me of the smell of an engine with blood on it, but im sure its nice.

This is pretty neat.

DO NOTE:

If you are new to cologne, MORE COLOGNE DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU SMELL BETTER

WaaghPowa:
...They put the scent of blood in the fighter one... how?

Blood magic?

whereas those sinister Evil folks get "smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root."

So Costus is actually the root of all evil. ;)

The_root_of_all_evil:

whereas those sinister Evil folks get "smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root."

So Costus is actually the root of all evil. ;)

Go to your room right now and think about what you've done, mister.

Aethren:

The_root_of_all_evil:

whereas those sinister Evil folks get "smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root."

So Costus is actually the root of all evil. ;)

Go to your room right now and think about what you've done, mister.

'rassin' frassin' no sense of humour...

Guess I'm the only one here who actaully thinks this is kind of stupid and patronizing? "Aw now the wittle nerdies can smell even worse and we'll make em pay for it."

Jenx:
Guess I'm the only one here who actaully thinks this is kind of stupid and patronizing? "Aw now the wittle nerdies can smell even worse and we'll make em pay for it."

While I could see this, I think coming from a place called "Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab," their love for RPGs is probably fairly genuine.

 

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