Femme Armor Sacrifices Safety for Sex Appeal

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Femme Armor Sacrifices Safety for Sex Appeal

Females in fantasy stories really do bring a whole new meaning to the term "breast plate."

The heroic knight readies for battle in his full plate armor, as his less-lawful thief colleague dons thick studded leather from head to toe. Even the cleric is wearing a complete suit of scale mail - but their female archer companion? Why, she's in little more than a bikini. Obviously, it's to preserve her mobility, of course!

Armor (or the lack thereof) on female characters in fantasy settings is as much of a cliche as anything else is these days. Naturally, this applies to videogames as well - when female characters can don a piece of full plate armor in WoW and have it turn into a metal bra, it feels a bit ridiculous.

College Humor has tackled the subject in its latest silly short, with a blacksmith and two male warriors trying to convince their female companion that her new chainmail bikini will actually offer more protection than eye candy. After all, enemies' attention will be drawn to the shiny parts, won't they? Of course they will.

Still, I'm not sure that female characters really need to show so much skin. I mean, Samus Aran is kind of a nerd sex symbol, and she wears a full suit of power armor! Usually, anyways.

(College Humor)

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The guy with the beard cracked me up. Bwhahaha. This was so funny. She got a crossbow to the boob!

Not usually a fan of College Humor, but this was actually pretty funny.

Kind of an old joke, but still funny.

I liked it. Although I am abit puzzled as to why she feels a pinch when she is about to strike. (though it is funny)

I understand that some peeps like the whole " a lass with quite alot of skin to show but not quite that much to cover it with" and that some can go over the river styx to defend the practise.

I like the "woman in power armour more". Im not interested in titillation but for those that are I have a argument.

"the more armour a woman has on her the more armour can suddenly go missing"

on a serius note. The more armour a lady character have the more effect the reveal can on the audiance.

Chainmail bikini jokes? Cutting edge, CH, really pushing back the fucking boundaries. >.>

Also, WoW gets a lot of unfair flack for this. It crops up in covers and artwork a lot more than in the actual game. Only a very small handful of items actually work like that (although people do tend to seek them out).

Seventh Actuality:
Chainmail bikini jokes? Cutting edge, CH, really pushing back the fucking boundaries. >.>

For sure...Thrud the Barbarian was doing those jokes back in '81.

John Funk:

Still, I'm not sure that female characters really need to show so much skin. I mean, Samus Aran is kind of a nerd sex symbol, and she wears a full suit of power armor! Usually, anyways.

Do they really need to be sex symbols at all?

Sleepingzombie:
I liked it. Although I am abit puzzled as to why she feels a pinch when she is about to strike. (though it is funny)

Let's just say there's a reason you normally wear chainmail over leather.

In other news, fire is hot.
Still, even if it is an incredibly tired gag, they've done it well enough to get me to giggle.

This is hardly a new joke. Although, sadly, it's still pretty relevant.

oooh. . . .right. . .well.

"ahem" I long for the day when most women in games can be other things than sex symbols. There are just too few exeption to the norm.

Sleepingzombie:

on a serius note. The more armour a lady character have the more effect the reveal that she is a lady will have on the audiance.

*ahem*

Sometimes, they can wear armor and not be there to titillate the crowd...

There's at least one other woman that wears full plate armor which seems to get the point across that they need to wear something other than a chainmail bikini.

Everyone knows the most protective piece of armor for women in World of Warcraft was, is, and always will be, the Plate armor Thong.

And I think Samus lovers are a fan of her Zero-Suit, not the armor, I mean look at it, that thing is pretty much skin-tight.

Way to stay topical Collegehumorless, the chainmail bikini trope has only been a cliche for what three decades... Might have actually been funny if they'd made fun of the more recent "breastplate" instead.

But John, weren't you aware? Accordin to comic book logic, female skin is stronger and more durable than titanium. Any other armor is just superfluous and redundant when skin does the job just fine.

/very bad logic fail

I've always been more a fan of tight fitting leather armor...Not for myself anyway but hey nerds will be nerds xD.

Because there's nothing more attractive than a bifurcated corpse in a skimpy, platemail two-piece! Everyone knows that the female warriors have to preserve their mobility while fighting giant dragons and demons with horrible flamey swords of death that can cut through their 2-feet-thick-slab-of-metal-with-a-person-inside male counterparts! People these days can't see the practicality and the sheer common sense of not allowing female characters even the mere option of dressing like "one of the guys". This is a gameplay mechanic that forces the players to assume the role of the chosen character, only by looking over her shoulder and totally not at her buttocks!

Funny thing, this actually annoys me. Not the skit, but the fact that armor becomes bikinis when worn by girls...

Cant really explain why it bothers me... I guess I just dont have the time to admire the... er... craftsmenship... of the female armor...

I concur but it seems the average video game player enjoys our current scantily clad female characters more. I wonder how long time it will take for that practise to change. . .5/10 years?.
I hypothesise that it will take a new batch of freshly graduated game designers to change this, after they have had a few years to gain some weight in the industry.

I'm curious to see how game of thrones tackles this in the show, but I'm guessing when they get to the few armored females in the books, they will be wearing essentially the same armor as the men.

"Ow, it's pinching!" XD

"Oh, right in the shiny part!" XD

In all seriousness though, while I'm a fan of seeing attractive women in outfits that compliment their figure, armor is not one of them. I'm also a very practicle person, and am a firm believer in the concept of armor actually protecting the vital areas.

Now, that doesn't mean that there can't be other areas where they can show how sexy female characters can be, but there should be places for that sort of thing.

I was actually just looking at this in KOTOR2. I was making my female PC and the Disciple (god I hate him) take turns wearing the same armors, to compare how differently they fit. I was impressed.

Seventh Actuality:
Also, WoW gets a lot of unfair flack for this. It crops up in covers and artwork a lot more than in the actual game. Only a very small handful of items actually work like that (although people do tend to seek them out).

Also, to be fair, in WoW it works both ways. My (male) Orc Shaman spent more than a few levels wearing furry hotpants. The mental image is seared into my brain to this day...

Ha it's so true! Even to this day we still see some female characters wearing less armour compare to male so I still think this video is relevent. Also it's a proven fact that skimpy clothing is not very pratical at all (Rooster Teeth Immersion) I mean name another show that made the same gag?

While I don't mind watching that actress in that outfit, I do kind of wish that female armor would make more sense than it does now. And it can in fact be both nice/sexy and somewhat functional looking. Check out Aribeth from Neverwinter Nights:
image

She's still a bit unprotected below the neck, but I think they could have easily added some leather or chainmail there without it looking much worse.

It's amazing that this has been true since the dawn of fantasy games. apparently we're all twelve...

You know, I think there may be an alternate explanation for why the chainmail bikini is such a cliche--it's the same reason why most superheros wear one-piece skintight spandex suits. They are EASY TO DRAW. Plus, you have to draw the character's anatomy anyway to get their body positioning right. Why would you want to erase all of that to cover it with real clothes?

Heck, a lot of artists in this business seem to have trouble just making female models that look decent. Forget about covering up those models with actual clothes that ALSO must look decent. Not to mention the difficulty involved in making said clothes move properly, not clip, etc.

And your female models HAVE to look good. Apparently, with men you can get away with some sort of generic build and still look decent, but people's ideas for what women ought to look like fall into a MUCH narrower spectrum (which can be totally different for each person), and they go INSANE over the issue.

End result: the devs get tired, apply some colored shellac to their model, and call it a day.

RIGHT IN THE SHINY PARTS!!

How about Saskia from the witcher 2? She goes full "Joan of Arc" and manages to look good AND bad-ass

socialmenace42:
It's amazing that this has been true since the dawn of fantasy games. apparently we're all twelve...

.. and im pretty sure they all think we all play the games with one hand.

On topic; Im all for practical value before style/rule of cool. Im way more likely to take a character seriously if thier gear appear "serious".
Plus imho a female character doesnt need to show curves (at all) to be an interesting, coherent character.

With armor it comes down to protection vs mobility, which is why Roman and Greek soldiers didn't have armored mid-rifts (so they could bend at the middle), wore slatted leather or cloth skirts, and had little arm or leg armor (maybe bracers and/or greaves).

Really full body armor didn't appear until the mid-to-late Medieval period, and full heavy armor was generally too bulky for anything but tournaments (even knights preferred more mobile armor in combat). The only time you'd see full armor was a mix of plate and chain, and only rich knights would have that. Most soldiers fought with little or no armor at all, so in reality, a chainmail bikini would offer more protection than basically nothing and most warriors should be dressed in cloth with maybe a leather jacket.

Also having worn heavy plate (tournament plate), I'd bet on the girl in the chainmail bikini - you can't see out of those helmets, you're almost immobile encased in 300lbs of iron, and it is easy to be knocked off balance. Once you're on the ground, you're as good as dead because it is pretty much impossible to stand without the help of a squire, so all they have to do is find a seam and stick a sword in.

Haha a funny video. I don't care if the joke is old, it made me laugh :D

im totally into sexy female armor. i don't care about realism at all!

image
'nuff said

This is why quite a lot of females are shying away from tabletops...

That and "Strip when you loose the dice" Tuesday.

Clewin:
Also having worn heavy plate (tournament plate), I'd bet on the girl in the chainmail bikini - you can't see out of those helmets, you're almost immobile encased in 300lbs of iron, and it is easy to be knocked off balance. Once you're on the ground, you're as good as dead because it is pretty much impossible to stand without the help of a squire, so all they have to do is find a seam and stick a sword in.

If you take a look at modern body armor, it's much more specific as to what it protects, and is generally much more useful, simply because it's much better armor. It's relatively practical, and is much more effective at stopping much more than ancient armor was. Of course, all of it is due to scientific advances in just about everything.

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