NATO, Taliban Go To War On Twitter

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NATO, Taliban Go To War On Twitter

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The forces of NATO and the Taliban have taken their war to the digital battleground of Twitter.

NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-backed Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.

After the attack was put down, the Twitter account belonging to the International Security Assistance Force Afghanistan, which normally restricts itself to straight-up info dumps on the Afghan situation, posted a response to comments about the attack from a Taliban spokesman. "Re: Taliban spox on #Kabul attack: the outcome is inevitable," @ISAFmedia wrote. "Question is how much longer will terrorist put innocent Afghans in harm's way?"

That put a bee in the Taliban's bonnet, which responded through the @ABalkhi account, "@ISAFmedia i dnt knw.u hve bn pttng thm n 'harm's way' fr da pst 10 yrs.Razd whole vllgs n mrkts.n stil hv da nrve to tlk bout 'harm's way'"

"Really, @abalkhi?" @ISAFmedia replied. "Unama reported 80% of civilians causalities are caused by insurgent (your) activities http://goo.gl/FylwU" @ABalkhi, however, questioned the validity of the numbers, pointing out that they came from ISAF's parent body at the United Nations. "@ISAFmedia Unama is an entity of whom? mine or yours?" it asked.

Things went quiet for awhile, although @ABalkhi fired off a quick "lol" at CNN for an article claiming that the Afghanistan insurgency was "less effective" this year than it has been in the past. But @ISAFmedia wasn't ready to let things go without taking a parting shot at another Taliban-related account. Linking to a YouTube video showing General John R. Allen, the ISAF Commander, checking on his troops after the Kabul attacks, it wrote, "Hey @alemarahweb, does your boss do this? http://goo.gl/9XpYn #Kabulattacks #ISAF #COMISAF"

via: The Guardian

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This is just awesome. I hope someone rickrolls someone.

I probably laughed at this much harder than I should have.

I'm just waiting for one side to tell the other to stop trolling.

It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.

/grabs popcorn and lawn chair

Oh, this will be good. I demand further updates, Escapist!

KeyMaster45:
It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.

Gods no! Knowing how the internet works, they'd be cybering with each other by the end of the first evening and we'd have Taliban Furries yiffing all over Afganistan by the end of the month...

Jandau:

KeyMaster45:
It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.

Gods no! Knowing how the internet works, they'd be cybering with each other by the end of the first evening and we'd have Taliban Furries yiffing all over Afganistan by the end of the month...

At this rate its going to be very hard to write a serious military book detailing the conflicts of this time when the words "Taliban", "Furries" and "Yiff" can all be used in the same sentence!

Holy fuckballs that's sad. Well we can spare a lot of innocent lives by simply boiling war down to its most basic form: name calling. And when we can do it in complete anonymity the venom spewed gets a lot more racist and entertaining to read. I'm all for it. Next up: Ireland vs. U.K.

Ireland: "Hahaha. You suck. We're free to be catholic, you pathetic wankers."
U.K.: "Right. Fuck off mate, before we come back there and show you potato-eating twats who ran the world for 4 bloody centuries!"

Etc... (BTW I chose this as an example because I find it amusing. I don't believe that some-sort of war is brewing. It's satire.)

"@ISAFmedia i dnt knw.u hve bn pttng thm n 'harm's way' fr da pst 10 yrs.Razd whole vllgs n mrkts.n stil hv da nrve to tlk bout 'harm's way'"

Do you think the real Taliban guy was on the toilet and forgot to log out while his 5 year old son thought it would be funny to leave a message.

In all honesty, if thats someone trying to be serious on the Talibans side then it makes me want to go back to the army, fly back out there and beat them all with a fething dictionary.

Next week on messages from the Taliban "ur all teh n00bz, FEAH MAH POWAH". So says the Taliban.

Andy Chalk:

NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-baked Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.

Major lol at NATO-Baked. I have tears forming that's how hard I laughed.

Seriously, fighting it out on twitter?

I want to see the US and China go at next.

*gets comfy chair and popcorn*

I love it.

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

Owen Robertson:
Holy fuckballs that's sad. Well we can spare a lot of innocent lives by simply boiling war down to its most basic form: name calling. And when we can do it in complete anonymity the venom spewed gets a lot more racist and entertaining to read. I'm all for it. Next up: Ireland vs. U.K.

Ireland: "Hahaha. You suck. We're free to be catholic, you pathetic wankers."
U.K.: "Right. Fuck off mate, before we come back there and show you potato-eating twats who ran the world for 4 bloody centuries!"

Etc... (BTW I chose this as an example because I find it amusing. I don't believe that some-sort of war is brewing. It's satire.)

that arguement would be over pretty quick
UK: how much do you owe us again?

just had to chime in how much we have thrown at the irish economy over the past few years and yet the still dislike us. No pleasing some people ^^

This is hilarious. What a bizarre age we live in. Pretty soon will NATO and The Taliban will be going back and forth say "No rly", "Ya rly"

Andy Chalk:

NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-baked Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.

Highlighted a small error, shouldn't it be "backed".

Unless the Taliban were defeated by Afghan security forces that were a little high.

Xersues:
Snip

Nuts, you just ninja'd me.

At least I got to throw in a small weed joke.

But yeah, fighting over twitter just seems almost unbelievable.

I'm loving the fact that an actual terrorist said "lol". Oh God, the same jerks that kick the shit out of me online are terrorists in the making? IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

I normally don't approve of trolling, but if we're trolling the taliban, then I not only approve, I'd encourage it.

LOL RT @TheEscapistMag: NATO, Taliban Go 2 War On Twitter #esc http://bit.ly/o4S9I0

Hold on...I'm on the wrong page...

Seriously, how childish can they get?, instead of slinging rockets and insults at each other they should settle this war once and for all, like real men. Quake 3 deathmatch.

The Taliban is now completely nonthreatening to me. No good terrorist says LOL.

oh no, now even the internet is a casualty...
i love how there was abit of a loss, so the both sides just turned to trolling each other... mmm internet bickering.

Wait... what? They're doing what? Is this... is this real? *goes on twitter* It is. Wow. I honestly have no idea what to say. This world is strange.

Xersues:
Major lol at NATO-Baked. I have tears forming that's how hard I laughed.

Whoops. And fixed!

spectrenihlus:
This is just awesome. I hope someone rickrolls someone.

this could decide the war

Oh my God yes.

If there's one thing that 1st world countries can do best, it's troll the shit out of other countries. You have no chance @Taliban.

ColdStorage:
Seriously, how childish can they get?, instead of slinging rockets and insults at each other they should settle this war once and for all, like real men. Quake 3 deathmatch.

I don't think that would solve anything. Obviously, the true path to peace is through a marathon. Quake 3 would be a great place to go of course but there needs to be more than that: Starcraft, Worms, etc. Set up multiple events with multiple rounds to make sure the winner deserves their victory.

Good thing the Taliban didn't "blow up" their Facebook wall!

well, at least this means increased communication between NATO and the Taliban >_>

Shoggoth2588:

ColdStorage:
Seriously, how childish can they get?, instead of slinging rockets and insults at each other they should settle this war once and for all, like real men. Quake 3 deathmatch.

I don't think that would solve anything. Obviously, the true path to peace is through a marathon. Quake 3 would be a great place to go of course but there needs to be more than that: Starcraft, Worms, etc. Set up multiple events with multiple rounds to make sure the winner deserves their victory.

Marathon game matches? much like how the divine ones did against the grim reaper, defeating him each time at games with greater consequence's.

Truly Bill and Teds Bogus Journey can teach us many things, come brothers, let us sing hymms of our lords, they are dudes amongst men, Wyld Stallyns be praised.

Dear Taliban, please put down your guns and pick up those air guitars, for the lords we all serve, Bill and Ted

Why is the internet so ridiculous?

lol the next xxx movie will be samuel l jackson finding the biggest asshole on youtube to flame the taliban for his country.

I told you. I told you all, but no-one listened! I told you all that illiterates would be the end of us! NO-ONE LISTENED!
EDIT: Couldn't they send a link to a virus instead of to the statistic instead? That was a serious waste of potential hilarity.

Fucking twitter. What will they think of next?

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Something that covers the world in shit no doubt.

*pulls up a comfy chair, grabs some Jones soda and junk food*

Don't mind me, I'm just here for the show.

I couldn't even read that. Seriously.

I'm not one to start massive flame wars myself, but...English, people. Do you speak it?

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