Prisoner Builds Final Fantasy Arsenal Out Of Matchsticks

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Prisoner Builds Final Fantasy Arsenal Out Of Matchsticks

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An inmate in a Welsh prison built Final Fantasy weapons out of matchsticks.

The guards of a prison located in Monmouthshire, Wales were surprised to find an impressive arsenal of replica knives that a prisoner had assembled entirely out of matchsticks and glue. The prisoner in question, though, must have a soft spot for JRPGs, as some of his creations are clearly from Final Fantasy.

Fans of the series will immediately recognize Cloud's Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII, as well as a gunblade, the favored weapon of Squall from Final Fantasy VIII. I don't quite recognize the design of the rest of the weapons, but a few appear to be inspired by the anime series Bleach.

Despite looking like props a convention attendee would slap together last minute, the replicas were reported have been sharpened to the point where they could actually cause harm, and the prison's Governer, Steve Cross, stated that the weapons were realistic enough that "[They] presented a genuine threat to the safety of staff, visitors and other prisoners."

There's no word as to if the prisoner constructed the matchstick swords out of boredom, intent to harm fellow inmates or possibly for use in a grand adventure to save the world.

Source: The Sun via Kotaku

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Man...that'd be one epic prison riot full of minute long glares, delaration of attack names and tits.

The two on the left look like Sephiroth's weapon and a Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts. Dunno about the middle two.

kurupt87:
The two on the left look like Sephiroth's weapon and a Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts. Dunno about the middle two.

How does it look like a keyblade?

That's awesome though, you've got to give kudos to the prisoner who made them.
Bit of a shame that they were sharp and had to be confiscated though, they were probably destroyed after this photo was taken.

Sad times.

And that is how a real man breaks out of prison. With materia and zanpakuto AS BIG AS A HUMAN TORSO!

Honestly though, if he were really planning to use these to harm someone, why put so much effort into it? People may be pretty crazy in prison, but if I were gonna stab a guy, I would use something more utilitarian. Small and pointy is easier to hide than TORSO SIZE!

The two on the left are Ichigo and Renji's zanpakto.

Although they were sharpened, I highly doubt that he planned to hurt someone with those. Much too impractical.

Wow that's impressive. Amazing what you can do when you uh have nothing to do.

The real one man A-Team ... builds matchstick swords in his cell.

Shame they let him loose with copper tubing, he's nearly finished his tank.

Revnak:
And that is how a real man breaks out of prison. With materia and zanpakuto AS BIG AS A HUMAN TORSO!

Honestly though, if he were really planning to use these to harm someone, why put so much effort into it? People may be pretty crazy in prison, but if I were gonna stab a guy, I would use something more utilitarian. Small and pointy is easier to hide than TORSO SIZE!

Well, maybe he respected his enemy and wanted him to go out in style.

These were obviously made to save the world! What else could it have been?! Now we're all fucked, thanks for killing the planet prison guards...

Matchsticks, huh? I am impressed. It's crazy what you can do with that much free time.

Danm that impressive! That is one way to be proactive. I wonder what he was charged for? I can easily picture a riot scene with him running around with those props.

from right to left:

some loser's buster sword
some loser's gunblade
not sure about this one...
Zangetsu
Zabimaru
random katana

Quaxar:

Revnak:
And that is how a real man breaks out of prison. With materia and zanpakuto AS BIG AS A HUMAN TORSO!

Honestly though, if he were really planning to use these to harm someone, why put so much effort into it? People may be pretty crazy in prison, but if I were gonna stab a guy, I would use something more utilitarian. Small and pointy is easier to hide than TORSO SIZE!

Well, maybe he respected his enemy and wanted him to go out in style.

If he really respected his enemy then that Tensa Zangetsu on the left would have a manji for a guard and some links of chain on the end. This man would have brought dishonor to both his and his adversary's families had he used such a blade. Not to mention that he probably didn't take the time to make a badass coat and cover himself with bandages. HOW CAN SOMEONE USE TENSA ZANGETSU WITHOUT A BADASS COAT AND BANDAGES!?!?!

Of course, in the UK, "authorities" consider anything with an edge narrower than the edge of one's hand to be "sharp enough to cause harm". I'm surprised they didn't just come out and say "We confiscated them to make sure he didn't accidentally hurt himself."

Aiden Raine:
from right to left:

some loser's buster sword
some loser's gunblade
not sure about this one...
Zangetsu
Zabimaru
random katana

For those playing at home "Zangetsu and Zabimaru are swords of Ichigo, and Renji, respectivly, from the anime samurai-ghost hoedown "Bleach"

He likes games and is in jail!
Coinsidence, I THINK NOT!

From right to left:

Cloud's Buster Sword: Final Fantasy 7
Siefer's (not Squall's) Gunblade: Final Fantasy 8
A carving knife. (Don't recognize it from any particular series)
Ichigo's zanpakutou, Zangetsu: Bleach
Renji's zanpakutou, Zabimaru: Bleach
Kenshin's Reverse-blade sword: Rorouni Kenshin

I hear a story like this and imagine an inmate holding out one of the Bleach-related swords and saying "Shank the nearest fool, Yaminosuke" and then his sword becomes an improbably shaped killing machine with special powers that shoots fireballs.

man you must be pretty bored to make all of that!

Oh look, it's Zangetsu and Zabimaru! Cool...

Time to watch Bleach again. :D

2xDouble:
From right to left:

Cloud's Buster Sword: Final Fantasy 7
Siefer's (not Squall's) Gunblade: Final Fantasy 8
A carving knife. (Don't recognize it from any particular series)
Ichigo's zanpakutou, Zangetsu: Bleach
Renji's zanpakutou, Zabimaru: Bleach
Kenshin's Reverse-blade sword: Rorouni Kenshin

I hadn't thought about Kenshin's weapon. That would get him major awesome points.

the only one i dont recognize is the fourth one, anyone have figured it out yet?

also, when you are in prison you really have a lot of time in your hands, and sometimes those people can surprise and dissapoint (because they probably want to hurt someone) you in how they can create amazing weapons with such limited resources

2xDouble:
From right to left:

Cloud's Buster Sword: Final Fantasy 7
Siefer's (not Squall's) Gunblade: Final Fantasy 8
A carving knife. (Don't recognize it from any particular series)
Ichigo's zanpakutou, Zangetsu: Bleach
Renji's zanpakutou, Zabimaru: Bleach
Kenshin's Reverse-blade sword: Rorouni Kenshin

while it does appear to be a reverse-blade katana, the handle looks different from the design of Kenshin's katana.

Dont you just love the sun 'one source revealed that they had been made razor sharp' lovely that they clarified who had said that, despite it being obvious from the picture that the blades arent sharp at all.

Well, if I had to get shanked in prison, I'd want to be shanked by a Final Fantasy weapon.

Too bad that's Kenshin's sword instead of Sephiroth's sword. I mean, if one has to be impaled on a sword, that's the one. Being shanked with Kenshi's sword is just ironic.

McGuyvering his way out, I see.

Oh hey, it's Zangetsu and Zabimaru!

... Now I want to watch Bleach again.

I wonder if the prisoner reached Bankai.

Revnak:

Quaxar:

Revnak:
And that is how a real man breaks out of prison. With materia and zanpakuto AS BIG AS A HUMAN TORSO!

Honestly though, if he were really planning to use these to harm someone, why put so much effort into it? People may be pretty crazy in prison, but if I were gonna stab a guy, I would use something more utilitarian. Small and pointy is easier to hide than TORSO SIZE!

Well, maybe he respected his enemy and wanted him to go out in style.

If he really respected his enemy then that Tensa Zangetsu on the left would have a manji for a guard and some links of chain on the end. This man would have brought dishonor to both his and his adversary's families had he used such a blade. Not to mention that he probably didn't take the time to make a badass coat and cover himself with bandages. HOW CAN SOMEONE USE TENSA ZANGETSU WITHOUT A BADASS COAT AND BANDAGES!?!?!

On the other hand we can't rule out the possibility that he was working on that stuff too but just hadn't acquired enough matches yet.
I mean of course weaponry would be first priority, think about how ridiculous "MAN BUILDS COAT OUT OF MATCHSTICKS, REASONS UNKNOWN" would look in the papers.

Tank207:
Oh hey, it's Zangetsu and Zabimaru!

... Now I want to watch Bleach again.

I wonder if the prisoner reached Bankai.

XD he might a been working on it at the very least

o.0!!
Zabimaru's Bankia made of match sticks ... that'd be pretty awesome

For the love of all that is good and ironic, please let this guy be serving time for arson...

Hmmm why couldnt he make normal swords. Then I couldn't made a joke about the emperor coming down to his cell and declaring him the chosen one to save Cryodil :p

Of course they had to confiscate the weapons, can you imagine the threat to other prisoners, visitors and staff if he attained Bankai with even one of those weapons?

Good God, this reminds me of that Mythbusters episode where they built [lethal] crossbows out of newspaper, homemade glue, underwear elastic and a food tray.

Imagine if this guy was a pimp:
Is Wayne Brady gunna have to choke-a-bo?

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