Uwe Boll's Next Masterpiece Arrives In December

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Uwe Boll's Next Masterpiece Arrives In December

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For some inexplicable reason, Uwe Boll's Dungeon Siege sequel will see the light of day.

It's been a while since we heard anything about Uwe Boll. In fact, the last time he got any attention on The Escapist, it was when an explosion on the set of In The Name Of The King 2 hospitalized six crew members (which was doubly-depressing because it failed to stop the film's production). Unfortunately, it looks like Boll was able to finish the movie and is now planning to release it on DVD.

The movie's full name is In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (no word yet on whether or not TopWare Interactive is aware of this title) and will star 1980s action dude Dolph Lundgren. It's not actually apparent whether or not the movie will still be associated with the Dungeon Siege franchise, since the "A Dungeon Siege movie" doesn't seem to be mentioned anywhere near this project.

Anyway, as if that title wasn't bad enough, here's the official plot summary:

Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables, Masters of the Universe) stars as Granger, a lethal, ex-Special Forces soldier who finds himself transported back to a mystical age of sorcery, dragons and savage hand-to-hand combat. This modern-day warrior has been summoned to defeat the forces of darkness and fulfill an ancient prophecy. But as he fights his way to the truth, Granger learns no one can be trusted -- and one wrong move could cost him not only his life, but the future of his world.

There are just so many things in that synopsis to take issue with, not the least of which is how Dolph Lundgren is credited. The Expendables and Masters of the Universe? Really? Not Universal Soldier and/or Rocky IV? Oh, well, I suppose we should just be glad that the hero of this movie isn't named "Farmer."

In The Name Of The King 2 is due out on December 27th, just in time to be a belated stocking stuffer (or, you know, the media equivalent of a piece of coal - it all depends how you look at it).

On a side note: IMDB doesn't list Boll directing any future projects. It's probably too much to expect, but we can always hope that the man won't return to the director's chair after this.

Source: Topless Robot

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The funny part is he did a movie named Rampage back in 2009 which was ACTUALLY not that bad. Funny part? It wasn't related to any game.

Just goes to show... No, he's an asshole.

HOW DOES THIS MAN GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR HIM.

Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

He's a better movie director than Michael Bey, that's for damn sure.

Are his movies 'good'? No. But they're no worse than the 80's sword and sworcery shlock I used to watch as a teenager.

In the first one, Matthew Lilliard and Ray Liotta's overacting was awesome. They knew it wasn't a masterpiece, so they decided to bring the ham.

Seriously, it's no worse than any far from Troma. His movies are bad, so you watch them like you'd watch Bad movies like Birdemic, or The Room.

Yeah. I'm defending Uwe Boll. Yeah, I'm gonna watch this. Yeah, I plan to enjoy it.

Wasn't this asshole's next project supposed to be an Auschwitz movie? I seem to remember a teaser trailer made in terrible taste a while back. What ever happened to that?

OT: Always a good source for a laugh, that Bole guy. Intentional or otherwise.

I wrote about Uwe Boll way back in issue 81 of The Escapist: "Uwe Boll and the German Tax Code."

Is it wrong NOT to hate Uwe Boll's films? I mean, the majority of them aren't good, but I quite liked 'House of the Dead'. Although 'Seed' was one of the most atrocious "films" I've ever seen...

think I'll get this for a friend this Christmas

soon to be ex-friend bahaha...

Zulnam:
The funny part is he did a movie named Rampage back in 2009 which was ACTUALLY not that bad.

Rampage still is, in my mind,Uwe only "good" film.If anyone wants to watch it be warned:The shaky camera may cause sea sickness.

Uwe Boll has made some of the best worst movies of all time, and unfortunately he has been improving his films D: Starting with A dungeon siege, in fact. Movies like Rampage were quite good. So yeah, I'm looking forward to this one!

Hmmm, if this movie did not come from the most arrogant and bad producer of all times, I would actually be looking forward to this movie.

A b-movie actor ("I will break you!" :P) and a plot that sounds like Army of Darkness but with dragons and whatnot. If it was not made by Uwe Boll... It could have been a new B-movie cult-classic.

Uwe Boll does not make B-movies... He makes like... ehm... -movies... Hmm... No they cannot even be scaled in any form. They all suck to the same degree as George Bush (junior) sucked as the US President.

Universal Soldier and Rocky IV? Meh
What about Showdown in Little Tokyo with Brandon Lee and Tia Carrere.

This film doesn't have Jason Statham or Burt Reynolds. Too bad. Those two made the first movie somewhat fun to watch.

I'm predicting once the bad reviews come in, there's going to be another "Raging Boll" event.

...Uwe bolls still making films huh? Well, here i thought the guy had gone completely and utterly bankrupt by now after people found out that his movies are all total shit. Still, i think there is nothing to see here, just another crap video game movie nobody will see.

I mean, it's not like he's going to fuck this up by completely destroying the canon of the series until it's nothing by doing something like, say...bringing a modern day soldier from our world and putting him into the world of medieval fantasy when such a thing should be totally impossible-

vansau:

Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables, Masters of the Universe) stars as Granger, a lethal, ex-Special Forces soldier who finds himself transported back to a mystical age of sorcery, dragons and savage hand-to-hand combat.

OH SON OF A-

Mr Thin:
HOW DOES THIS MAN GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR HIM.

Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

He's supossed to be a pretty friendly guy with a lot of connections. Many of the stars do their work for quite a low ammount of money.

How dare you mock the only genius in the whole damn business. I mean, really, he will happily fight anyone who dares to mock him in the boxing ring.... providing you have no boxing training or similar.

After all, we can't risk having his genius brain being damaged.

I'll watch it.
Though it's been betrayed a few times, ever since "Postal" I've had faith in Boll.

His movies are pretty crap. Yet they are better than most video games adaptations I've seen so far.

Mr Thin:
Does he pay them obscene amounts of money? Then where does he get the money from?

I reckon it's stupid teenagers who buy his DVDs ironically. Hipster assholes, funding the Uwe Boll machine with their narcissism.

Yes. And you;'re wrong. He gets them from German investors who pay for his movies so they don't have to pay tax. True story.

I still think Dolph is awesome! It's a shame he only gets shit roles nowadays. He could have been so much better in Expendables too! Anyway, whats up with his Sean Connery accent of late?

Uwe Boll sounds more like an object than a person: "I need to upchuck in the Uwe Boll!"

Just how Uwe still gets funding for his superior craptastic movies remains a confounding conundrum. Does anyone know how he manages to convince his financiers? Please let me know so I can start getting rich .

The bright side is he's left the good gaming titles alone... for now

Just watch Grahams interview with Uwe in the LRR vaults. Explains alot.

I like Uwe. He makes bad movies that are bad for just being bad.

Unlike certain other directors who make awful movies, and sell them as a re-mastered, artistic re-imagining.

Zulnam:
The funny part is he did a movie named Rampage back in 2009 which was ACTUALLY not that bad. Funny part? It wasn't related to any game.

Just goes to show... No, he's an asshole.

He also did Tunnel Rats back in 2008. Which was also a good film and had nothing to do with games. People forget these films because he is famous for making bad films.

Uwe Boll is a genius. People really need to recognise that. Anyone doubting his genius should note this article here. What's it reporting, and why? He's as funny as Ed Wood except he has independent media by the balls in a way that Ed Wood never managed.

yeah... I just threw up a little.

The plot sounds kinda like that of the ultima series, then again i dont think uwe has even heard of them let alon played them to rip them off.

So an ancient magician summons a "warrior of the future" and the best he can come up with is Dolph Lundgren?

What about Mad Max? John Connor/The Terminator? RoboCop?

I read the words "Uwe Boll" and "Masterpiece" in the same sentence and threw up in my mouth a little. . .

"Who finds himself transported back to a mystical age of sorcery, dragons and savage hand-to-hand combat. This modern-day warrior has been summoned to defeat the forces of darkness and fulfill an ancient prophecy."

Anyone else think of Army of Darkness when they read that part or was it just me?

I've gotta admit, the cover looks good, nice sword showing the reflection of two people, Lundgren facing to the left, a fire breathing dragon. It's only ruined by the woman who's face looks artificial.

XSin:
I read the words "Uwe Boll" and "Masterpiece" in the same sentence and threw up in my mouth a little. . .

More like Masterpiece of (CENSORED)

Eh, I'll grant him that the only movie of his I saw, Postal, was ok. The source material was so trashy, there was not much to ruin. It was impressive that I was still repulsed by some scenes despite the fact that I knowingly sat down to watch and Uwe Boll movie based on Postal, but most of the terrible jokes actually worked. And his own role was kinda funny. "My critics accuse me of funding my movies with Nazi gold. And what can I say? It's true. We have to spend it somewhere."

Giving this one a miss though. I don't trust Boll to do anything other than trashy schlockfests.

I always love to see all of the hate for Boll in these forums. It just always seems so rediculous. I will most likely watch this and I am betting just like all of his other movies that I have seen I will enjoy it. I really do hope he continues to make movies. There are so very few directors left that actually make good B-movies and it would be a shame to loose one.

Quaxar:
So an ancient magician summons a "warrior of the future" and the best he can come up with is Dolph Lundgren?

What about Mad Max? John Connor/The Terminator? RoboCop?

What wrong with Dolph? The guy is a pretty good actor.

Sounds pretty similar to the plot line of Army of Darkness. Pity Uwe didnt get Bruce Campbell in on it.

I'll watch this though. I find Uwe's films to be generally pretty bad with the over the top acting but its good for casual watching or something to have on in the background with friends around.

A movie by Uwe Boll starring the Dolph? I'm hooked. And yes, it seems like the Clown-shoes version of Uwe is back, which will make this the funniest movie of the year.

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