Google Vs. The English

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Google Vs. The English

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Ask Google to "define an English person" and it'll give you a rather unpleasant term.

By the time you read this Google will most likely have 'fixed' the issue, but currently the first Google search result for "define an English person" is a Wikipedia page dedicated to a certain word.

That word - and I suggest more delicate readers avert their eyes at this point - is "cunt," ladies and gentlemen. Charming.

Google is aware of the problem, and according to one employee, it "looks like a bad case of ranking that we're looking into."

The "C word," as some people insist on calling it, is widely considered the most severe curse word in the English language. Feminist scholar Germaine Greer once called it "one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock." Yep, I took that from that Wikipedia page, thanks Google.

Some suspect the errant search result isn't a glitch, but a deliberate joke pulled off by glib pranksters using a process called "Google-bombing." By creating large numbers of hyperlinks connected to a certain phrase, unscrupulous users can bump that phrase to the top of the Google rankings. Famous examples of this include searches for "miserable failure," which brought up a picture of U.S President George W. Bush, "weapons of mass destruction," which brought up a parody 404 page and "Hell" which took users to Microsoft's homepage. Google keeps on changing its search algorithms to combat the practice but hasn't managed to stamp it out yet.

Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

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That last sentence is true. Not very proud to be a british c**t today.

True story: I was 20 years old before I knew cunt was considered profanity. I used the word in the office where I was interning (I think I used it while referring to Dane Cook) and then everything got really quiet and awkward for a while. I actually received some rather cold stares.

I'd just not heard the word used much locally (South Caroline) in my entire life (in retrospect, I guess it was because they "weren't supposed to use it"), and had made friends with a few people from England who used the who used it pretty regularly. So I was never conditioned to feel strongly about it (I equated it with calling someone a dick. Not nice, but noteworthy either). I still don't either.

And there's the lesson: It's all cultural conditioning. It's weird how some words become taboo and others don't, even when they can have the same meaning (or at least the same denotation, but not always the same connotation).

I used to have a tshirt that said "Warning: This tshirt may contain the word CUNT" in the kind of warning logo/parental advisory style. I was young and thought it was fun to wear, but got so many dirty looks. One time a girl actually crossed over to me to tell me she found my tshirt offensive, so I asked her what part. Nearly earnt me a slap.

But yes, now Im older/wiser etc, I try to avoid using the word. Generally slips out when Im angry though and wishing to describe the person driving in front of me for example when she indicates left and pulls into the right and into my path. :p

EDIT: Also, Ive heard people use the following to say "it" without actually saying "it": C U Next Tuesday.

[sarcasm]It's good to know such a widely-used part of the Internet is kept in such good hands.[/sarcasm]

Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century. :D

RhombusHatesYou:
Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century. :D

true. i've heard it a lot down there. its pretty much a common phrase like shit. my friend uses it practically every time. of course among friends.

Well i'm a right one and make no mistake.

Hilarious.

Is there any signifance to using Mitchell and Webb's picture? Are you implying anything?

OT: I just checked it and they haven't even fixed it yet. Its a few links down but its still there! There are some days where existence itself makes me smile. This is one of those days.

Thank you for using that picture of Mitchell and Webb. Robert Webb's face is fantastic.

I think most English people will have a small chuckle at this. While I dont tend to use cunt that often, when the situation calls for it it can be a good tool to use.

I honestly don't understand why calling someone a cunt is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?

That is pretty hilarious. On a separate note, cunt is one of my favorite words, right after twat. Or maybe I like it more than twat? Who knows? I wrote a 3 page article on the word 'cunt' after Jane Fonda so liberally used it on a daily talk show. I don't remember which one. That was an extremely entertaining article to write. I should find it.

Fasckira:
I used to have a tshirt that said "Warning: This tshirt may contain the word CUNT" in the kind of warning logo/parental advisory style. I was young and thought it was fun to wear, but got so many dirty looks. One time a girl actually crossed over to me to tell me she found my tshirt offensive, so I asked her what part. Nearly earnt me a slap.

But yes, now Im older/wiser etc, I try to avoid using the word. Generally slips out when Im angry though and wishing to describe the person driving in front of me for example when she indicates left and pulls into the right and into my path. :p

EDIT: Also, Ive heard people use the following to say "it" without actually saying "it": C U Next Tuesday.

Self-censorship is, IMO, even worse than forced censorship. It's a word, if you want to use it, use it, and anyone who can't stomach it is a cunt. And the article author is cunting right, we do say cunt a lot over here in cuntland. Cunt.

:P

Grey Carter:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

The temptation to write out a reply using the word cunt instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :-P

Darkmantle:
I honestly don't understand why calling someone a cunt is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?

I'd guess it's that the word 'cunt' sounds more aggressive, with the hard c at the beginning. Plus, it's been built up as "the worst word" while other swears are dimishing in shock value, so I suppose it's worse because we're told it's worse.

That said, regional variations can make a big difference too. Ever hear an American call someone a twat? They pronounce it 'twot' and it's so hilariously posh-sounding and silly that it's impossible to take offense. It's like being called a silly-billy :-P

"Cunt" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.

RedEyesBlackGamer:
"Cunt" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.

Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!

SonicWaffle:

RedEyesBlackGamer:
"Cunt" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.

Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!

Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

SonicWaffle:

Grey Carter:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

The temptation to write out a reply using the word cunt instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :-P

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

RhombusHatesYou:
Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century. :D

Now that made me laugh.

OT: One of the more... interesting Google bombs over the years.

Grey Carter:

SonicWaffle:

RedEyesBlackGamer:
"Cunt" is considered a curse word? Huh, I always thought it was like "dick". Well, I know what word to avoid when around family.

Any word can be a curse word, it just depends on how you use it. Add a little variety to your swearing, and let's see if we can make "spunky carrot" rude!

Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

SonicWaffle:

Grey Carter:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

The temptation to write out a reply using the word cunt instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :-P

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Is Piers Morgan like your Bill O'Reilly? Insanely hated, but stupidly popular? I never see him mentioned in a positive light. He must really be a spunky carrot.

Grey Carter:

Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

Nah, it needs some context to it. For example, I was walking to work this morning when some cyclist nearly knocked me over. Bold as brass, riding on the pavement. I yelled that the next time he tried that, I'd kick him so hard in the spunky carrot he'd never ride a bike again.

Grey Carter:
Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

RedEyesBlackGamer:
Is Piers Morgan like your Bill O'Reilly? Insanely hated, but stupidly popular? I never see him mention in a positive light. He must really be a spunky carrot.

As carrots go, he's a pretty spunky on, but I don't think it's fair to call him our Bill O'Reilly. He's not frothing-at-the-mouth insane, just insufferably smug and self-satisfied despite being a c-list (at best) celebrity.

SonicWaffle:

Grey Carter:
Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

Is he still around? I'd assumed we'd driven the aggravating shit into the sea by now.

Proud to be english today, i really really am :)

Grey Carter:

SonicWaffle:

Grey Carter:
Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

Is he still around? I'd assumed we'd driven the aggravating shit into the sea by now.

Not only that, but he was given his own quiz show not long back! To be fair to him, he's at least aware of his own reputation - I read an interview where he said he didn't care about being a nasty Anne Robinson style quiz host, because "I'm already the most hated person in the country, so what have I got to lose?"

However I might feel about him personally, I can't deny that his show sometimes brings joy to my heart. It's like they found a way to make Jerry Springer scummier and funnier. Some of my favourites include "Is my step-brother my dad?" and "Our relationship just hasn't been the same since my boyfriend was hit in the head with a hammer". My all-time favourite was a little gem buried in a rant Jeremy was having at some scumbag kid with behaviour problems. Having only tuned in halfway through, I have absolutely no sense of context for the statement, which makes it all the more hilarious;

"You threatened your nan! You smoke drugs! You attacked your sister! You chased a dog!"

google has many secrets. it used to translate russian word "urod" to beauty, which is exactly opposite. it can roll over.

and there also are such crazyness in its search algorythms (caused by users no less):

I'm glad I'm Welsh :D

Peep Show. Go watch it now.

Also, the English is awesome =D

Grey Carter:

SonicWaffle:

Grey Carter:
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

The temptation to write out a reply using the word cunt instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts? :-P

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Hey, if calling Piers Morgan a cunt is good enough for Stephen Fry, it's good enough for you.

Once again, we ride to battle.

For ENGLAND!!

I don't think many people in England will care about this. I think a lot of people in England who use the internet will be on facebook and those who really want to know the definition of being English would rather use a dictionary.

I think we shoud take back the word Cunt.
As a british person I can use the word cunt... You non-english can't, it's our word.
As in "My cunts and I, drinking our cuppas. We aren't concerned with the filth because we have batons too and we will bust up a cunt in our overly-small and poorly insulated house"

And personally I think Mitchelland Webb are great examples of british people.

Quick, I need a picture of Vince from Mongrels now!

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"Did you just call me a c***?"

Being English, I think its a rather apt description ;) Its basically a compliment in my family

.... Bloody Nicolas Sarkozy. That guy just has to be a dick.

I am a proud English Airman, and that makes me smile! The lads are going to love this one!

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