Federal Court Rules that the X-Men are Not Human

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Federal Court Rules that the X-Men are Not Human

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In a move sure to please the anti-mutant movement, a U.S. federal court has ruled that the X-Men (or at least their action figures) do not count as humans.

If you grew up during the 90s, nothing conjures up memories of getting up early and crowding the TV in your pajamas quite like the X-Men. More than a few Millennials read the comics, watched the TV show, and owned action figures from the freakishly extensive toy line. While the X-Men would like nothing better than to be accepted as brethren by the humans they protect, the United States Court of International Trade finally ruled, after years of debate, that the X-Men do not count as humans, at least as far as importing toys is concerned.

The debate entailed a series of court cases going back over ten years. Toy Biz, the company producing X-Men toys, imported the iconic mutant action figures from China, and noticed that the X-Men drew higher tariffs than other toys. As it turns out, tariffs relating to dolls ("representing only human beings and parts and accessories thereof") were higher than those for nonhuman toys. Toy Biz took the case to court and argued that the X-Men (and by extension, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and other Marvel heroes) toys represented meta-humans, mutants, aliens, and other inhuman entities. The cases went back and forth for a few years, and had trouble arriving at a universal answer: While the court at one point decided that the X-Men counted as nonhumans, it maintained that their adversary the Silver Samurai was subject to the "doll" tariffs. Marvel fans are sure to scratch their heads at this one, since the Silver Samurai is as much a mutant as the X-Men themselves.

While the case could be seen as a victory for Toy Biz, it's a bit of a hollow one. The company became a division of Mattel a few years ago, and Hasbro now possesses the license for most Marvel toys until 2017. Furthermore, the distinction between dolls and other toys was part of a now-defunct tariff system; the cost to import the two is now the same. If toy tariffs undergo further revision, this ruling could prove useful. Otherwise, chalk this one up as a victory for the Brotherhood of Mutants. Maybe those divisive humans weren't worth protecting, anyway.

Source: Law and the Multiverse

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As Bob "Moviebob" Chipman said, Magneto was right...

I've seen the X-men issues drawn by Liefeld. Nothing that looks like that could ever be considered human.

So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.

All they ever wanted was to be accepted like everyone else! ;_;

Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.

Does this mean all humans with mutations are now non-humans? Or just specific to the X-Men comics. Depending on the wording, if this says "mutants" are not non-human, and not "super-powered meta-humans" aren't human, then there is a problem because I most definitely qualify as a mutant. Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.

ResonanceSD:
So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.

Funny, I would have thought importation costs involving the business dealings of multi million dollar companies and how much they have to pay the government is a fairly justified as being worth dealing with by the United States Court of International Trade. It's sort of the very reason that court even exists....

mad825:
Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.

I think Magneto referred to the mutants as Homo Superior(well since Magneto is always trying to prove mutants are better then humans who knows if it is right). Since homo sapiens is technically human homo superior isn't human.

Jadak:

ResonanceSD:
So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.

Funny, I would have thought importation costs involving the business dealings of multi million dollar companies and how much they have to pay the government is a fairly justified as being worth dealing with by the United States Court of International Trade. It's sort of the very reason that court even exists....

When the end result of the ruling doesn't actually matter, not so much.

D Moness:

mad825:
Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.

I think Magneto referred to the mutants as Homo Superior(well since Magneto is always trying to prove mutants are better then humans who knows if it is right). Since homo sapiens is technically human homo superior isn't human.

"homo" means human or "man" if we are being pedantic. Still, homo the Genus while our specie is H.sapiens.

"H.superior" is just another sub-category within the homo Genus and we could call advance human or Nietzsche's Überman

amaranth_dru:
Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.

Really? So I'm a mutant?

Awesome.

On topic, this seems a little pedantic to me. Just a bit.

Really? They spent 10 years, and god knows how much money, on a court case deciding the definition of some little plastic toys, the result of which has long since been made irrelevant? Genius...

ResonanceSD:

Jadak:

ResonanceSD:
So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.

Funny, I would have thought importation costs involving the business dealings of multi million dollar companies and how much they have to pay the government is a fairly justified as being worth dealing with by the United States Court of International Trade. It's sort of the very reason that court even exists....

When the end result of the ruling doesn't actually matter, not so much.

Its precedent in a ruling on the storrylines attitude towards a figure representing its categorisation instead of its physical traits.

wow -.- didn't they have something better to do? like, i donno, something crime related. since ya know, the ruling doesn't actually matter given they don't USE that system anymore, yesh .. the things they waste tax dollars on ...

I never knew Silver Samurai was an actual mutant. I always thought he got is abilities from training and from his armor.

....why did this ever get taken to a federal court?

And what's so great about being human anyway?

Dreiko:
As Bob "Moviebob" Chipman said, Magneto was right...

Mutant and Proud!

amaranth_dru:
Does this mean all humans with mutations are now non-humans? Or just specific to the X-Men comics. Depending on the wording, if this says "mutants" are not non-human, and not "super-powered meta-humans" aren't human, then there is a problem because I most definitely qualify as a mutant. Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.

Then I say that a law-abiding blue eyed person, we should all rise up against those who'd bring shame and hostilities to us mutants!

OP - This seems like the most pointless thing to go to court on but whatever.

seriously? is this what they're spending their time on?
the courts must be really bored.

It's good to see that our tax dollars/pounds are being used on sensible ideas. And not, say, letting the Colbert Report over to Blighty - or the I.T.Crowd over to the States.

I do wonder if the Bruce Banner figure is a doll while the Hulk figure is a toy though.

OutrageousEmu:
I've seen the X-men issues drawn by Liefeld. Nothing that looks like that could ever be considered human.

Best post of the day.
You win, sir.

Who wants more shoulder pads and ammo packs for the belt?

Once upon a time, I thought Tetsuya Nomura's obsession with belts, zippers and buckles was disturbing...and then I saw Rob Liefeld's work, and I relived all the worst parts of the 90s all over again.

So, say, figures of Miraluka (recipe: human + blindfold) would not count as dolls because they're not human in the lore? I mean, I'm all for Miraluka being a different race of humans, but in law terms, that seems like only badly defined law (not to mention weird)

You hear this, Marvel? This is gold for you!

Well, I suppose this means when a friend who isn't "one of us" calls them 'dolls', they're legally wrong... that's some small comfort I guess.

I don't collect action figures, but if I did, I imagine that sort of thing would be a big deal.

(I have a bad feeling about this. It seems mundane, but you just know it's going to be called up as "setting precedent" when someone decides they want to make genetically modified people exempt from human rights law... gotta think about these things, you know? Just because we aren't ready for the future doesn't mean it isn't coming.)

...why exactly would this be a thing-

no wait, let's look at the root of the problem.

tariffs relating to dolls ("representing only human beings and parts and accessories thereof") were higher than those for nonhuman toys

WHY WOULD THIS EVEN MATTER? WHO WOULD MAKE DIFFERENT TARRIFS FOR... THEY'RE TOYS! BLOODY FUCKING TOYS! I DON'T EVEN-

okay, calmed down somewhat. What a pointless law to make, seriously.

Hm, my dad will find this interesting since he used to paint all sorts of prototype toys including X-men and Spiderman.

Well, there you have it, kids! The Supreme Court has solved all of your problems once again, THEY'RE the real heroes, not those aliens.

I'm not sure what to make of that news article. I don't know if I'm offended by the dumb case, if I'm amused by the fact that they took the time to figure this out, if Marvel should even give a fuck, if this is relevant at all at this point...I just don't know.

Daverson:
Well, I suppose this means when a friend who isn't "one of us" calls them 'dolls', they're legally wrong... that's some small comfort I guess.

I don't collect action figures, but if I did, I imagine that sort of thing would be a big deal.

"They're not dolls! A federal court says so!"

ResonanceSD:
When the end result of the ruling doesn't actually matter, not so much.

Scrustle:
Really? They spent 10 years, and god knows how much money, on a court case deciding the definition of some little plastic toys, the result of which has long since been made irrelevant? Genius...

Kitsuna10060:
wow -.- didn't they have something better to do? like, i donno, something crime related. since ya know, the ruling doesn't actually matter given they don't USE that system anymore, yesh .. the things they waste tax dollars on ...

I'm certain that the company that was paying higher tariffs for however many years on all of the product that it was importing are probably going to want their money back. At least I would hazard that is the likely point to the decision.

I knew it! Magneto really was right! It's been bugging me that I've been agreeing with him for so long, but now I have reason!

Hmmmm...I hate to say "Am I the only one?", but:

Am I the only one who thought of how this applies to Rule 34 stuff?

I mean, now it's beastiality to fancy X Men, but it's no longer pedophilia to fancy X Kids?

Kitsuna10060:
wow -.- didn't they have something better to do? like, i donno, something crime related. since ya know, the ruling doesn't actually matter given they don't USE that system anymore, yesh .. the things they waste tax dollars on ...

Small but rather important point the court has ruled that the US government charged a tax on items that they were not entitled to and now they have to pay back the money. Just because the tariff regime has changed does not mean that the US government doesn't owe the cash, any more than tax cuts means you can claim the tax back that you paid at the old rate.

amaranth_dru:
Does this mean all humans with mutations are now non-humans? Or just specific to the X-Men comics. Depending on the wording, if this says "mutants" are not non-human, and not "super-powered meta-humans" aren't human, then there is a problem because I most definitely qualify as a mutant. Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.

Sorry to rain on your parade: Mutations are a naturally occurring event of all biological organisms. But, that being said, I would be interested in your source.

mad825:

"homo" means human or "man" if we are being pedantic. Still, homo the Genus while our specie is H.sapiens.

"H.superior" is just another sub-category within the homo Genus and we could call advance human or Nietzsche's Überman

I'm gonna nitpick, just for fun mind you. Modern man is Homo Sapiens Sapiens. XMen mutants are Home Sapiens Superior. Essentially, better than modern man. Just thought I would take the opportunity to fill in the blanks. There is H.Sapiens Idulta, then H.Sapiens Sapiens for the lineage of mankind.

Though, how much better would it really be to be born with a random power or physical mutation. Remember that guy who was just hairy, blech.

...Is this really worth bringing to court? ...Man, I'm kinda beginning to see Magneto's point here...

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