David Jaffe Promises Twisted Metal Has a Happy Ending - UPDATED

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David Jaffe Promises Twisted Metal Has a Happy Ending - UPDATED

David Jaffe promises a very happy ending on Valentine's Day for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal.

The Twisted Metal franchise has been around for an awfully long time and every new, more advanced iteration has brought the series closer to "the fantasy" first conceived when creators David Jaffe and Scott Campbell were stuck in L.A. traffic.

"Every new piece of hardware, you get to get a little closer and a little closer to that image in your head, which you're never really going to get to," Jaffe said in a GameTrailers interview. "We saw helicopters with guys leaning out with sniper rifles, we saw tanker trucks on the freeway jackknifing and flipping into sports cars and blowing them up. We get that now... With PS3 we really actually get to fulfill that fantasy."

Even more important, he added, is that the system allows the creation of a really "deep, meaty sort of gameplay-centric game," with a focus on pure game mechanics rather than cinematics and presentation. Jaffe readily admitted that sales of Twisted Metal will never approach those of blockbusters like Call of Duty but said that in terms of the "fun factor," he'd put it up against any other multiplayer game that's been released over the past five years.

And speaking of the fun factor [and deep and meaty], he also made a uniquely Jaffe-esque promise to every guy who buys the game when it comes out on February 14 - Valentine's Day. "It's a great, great romantic gift. If you have a lady friend and she really wants to know the best game ever, she will give you a fucking blowjob if you play this game," he said. "If you let her win Twisted Metal split-screen, she will suck your dick."

Boy, that's better than flowers and chocolate. I guess I'm off to buy a PS3!

UPDATE: Jaffe said what he said, there's no question of that, but the circumstances surrounding his statement have come into question. In a long series of tweets conveniently strung together by Kotaku, he explained that there's more to the situation than is immediately evident.

"Uhm, on the whole GT BJ thing, if I may: I like vulgar but the way that was edited came off more vulgar than even I like. There actually was some context to that conversation as I recall but the edit only showed the last part of a bigger discussion," he wrote. "Granted, the overall discussion was still intentionally juvenile and over the top but w/that as context- especially given the entire REST of the GT piece had NO indication the interview was gonna go vulgar, at least I think you'd see more where it was coming from."

"Again, as I said earlier: it WAS meant to be stupid and childish but it was edited so as to cut off the lead off where we are talking about Valentine's Day and sex and stuff and then we transition to the BJ part," he added. "Again, nothing suave about it but it makes more sense if UC whole bit."

He also denied that his remarks were misogynistic, calling the accusation "hurtful," although he seemed able to talk himself into a happier place with relative ease. "The idea that being crude and vulgar=misogynistic to some folks bugs the fuck outta me (but also indicates they are probably super pussy whipped PC types who God know I dunno why I give a shit about their judgement of me anyway)," he wrote. "so yeah, I really should not be upset :). Problem solved!:)"

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Wow, pure class there. Pure, pure class.

I'm all for being rough and real with the fans and the media but good lord Jaffe, what the hell put a filter on.

But I'm buying this for my little brother...

Is that a guarantee? And if she doesn't, does Jaffe fill in?

And now he is going to make casual games for iOS. So there we go then, life is very strange.

Cause you know, girls don't play games.

David Jaffe promises a very happy ending on Valentine's Day for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal.

As opposed to the 360 version? The PC version? The Wii version?

Aethren:
But I'm buying this for my little brother...

Don't let him win in splitscreen then!

Will it does look like more fun than sitting through a Musical, and it's gunna be impossible to get Tickets for the Book of Mormon now anyway.

Aethren:
But I'm buying this for my little brother...

Well make sure he has a girlfriend then.

Aethren:
But I'm buying this for my little brother...

What the hell, man? I'm buying it for your little brother too. You have to return it or this is going to get awkward.

David Jaffe, second only to Fork Parker (the man who claimed that he was using his paycheck from Serious Sam 3 to get his wife breast implants) in insanely silly marketing attempts.

In the case of my wife it is probably true...except the part about letting her win; she's always kicked my ass at TM.

I'm also interested in seeing if Jaffe has put a happy ending to the online pass bs. I haven't bought a PS3 exclusive since Sony made it a regular thing. I know he didn't want any of that crap marring TM and I hope he convinced them.

DVS BSTrD:
Will it does look like more fun than sitting through a Musical, and it's gunna be impossible to get Tickets for the Book of Mormon now anyway.

Aethren:
But I'm buying this for my little brother...

Well make sure he has a girlfriend then.

I suppose he could buy one of those too.

Soooo, $60 for a BJ? It's probably cheaper to get a hooker for that

gentlemanghost:
Soooo, $60 for a BJ? It's probably cheaper to get a hooker for that

Depends on how many diseases you want to leave with.

mjc0961:

David Jaffe promises a very happy ending on Valentine's Day for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal.

As opposed to the 360 version? The PC version? The Wii version?

Twisted Metal's Sony exclusive, always has been.

Ummm.... ok. I'm totally in, then, as long as I can afford it. Is this bonus only applying to playing on that day?

EDIT: No, not going to buy it just for that, I'll buy it because I have memories of enjoying the old PS1 Twisted Metal games.

Kwil:
Is that a guarantee? And if she doesn't, does Jaffe fill in?

God DAMN it, now my monitor is covered in soda.

Headline News Bulletin: "Psycho killer clowns in cars inspire blowjobs...but only on Valentine's Day!"
Ugh...tasteless Jaffe. Simply tasteless.

TsunamiWombat:
Wow, pure class there. Pure, pure class.

I'm all for being rough and real with the fans and the media but good lord Jaffe, what the hell put a filter on.

That was pretty much exactly what I thought. There I was, reading the article, thinking 'Hey that's nice, these people are happy with how their game looks and hope people will enjoy it'...
....
and then I read the last part...
...
Is there a unit of speed for the sinking of one's opinion? Cos I'm pretty sure my plummeting opinion of Jaffe would have broken all records.

Kwil:
Is that a guarantee? And if she doesn't, does Jaffe fill in?

Hey, this was a marketing promise! I reckon he's obliged to make good on that... =P

ThePS1Fan:

mjc0961:

David Jaffe promises a very happy ending on Valentine's Day for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal.

As opposed to the 360 version? The PC version? The Wii version?

Twisted Metal's Sony exclusive, always has been.

I am pretty sure that's the joke since he said you buy the PS3 version as in there's going to be a different one out as well.

Personally, I think he's just jerking us around.

That is pretty funny, and I will take it with the mountain of salt intended instead of being offended like a damned fool.

Krion_Vark:

ThePS1Fan:

mjc0961:
As opposed to the 360 version? The PC version? The Wii version?

Twisted Metal's Sony exclusive, always has been.

I am pretty sure that's the joke since he said you buy the PS3 version as in there's going to be a different one out as well.

Sony could make a Vita version. Sounds like a good idea to me, Twisted Metal: Head On on the PSP was one of my favourites.

Hmph, another case of false advertising.

I'm so glad this article didn't go the Kotaku route of getting offended by it and then saying what he meant was girls can't win at games and that the best way to get a blowjob is to trick girls.

That was more eejitlike than what Jaffe said.

His follow up statement was possibly more misogynistic than what he actually said in the first place. Pussy whipped?

It's not really effective backpedaling if you backpedal into lava...

DazZ.:
girls can't win at games

That's kind of part of what he said...

" for everyone who buys the PS3 version of Twisted Metal."

I had no idea there was any other version.

If he's trying to not seem like an asshole he's doing a pretty poor job... 'pussy whipped PC gamers'? How can he be so certain that all the complaints are from PC gamers...? Sounds naive if you ask me, or just super-trolling (but I don't care because he's some console developing douchebag, herp-a-derp).

xXxJessicaxXx:
His follow up statement was possibly more misogynistic than what he actually said in the first place. Pussy whipped?

That's not misogynistic, it's sexist.
There's a difference.
Examples:
"Women can't win at games" - Sexist.
"Women shouldn't be allowed to play games" - Misogynistic.

The distinction may be slight, but it's important.
To call simple sexism 'misogyny' detracts from the weight of the actual meaning of the word 'misogyny'.

Whodat:
If he's trying to not seem like an asshole he's doing a pretty poor job... 'pussy whipped PC gamers'? How can he be so certain that all the complaints are from PC gamers...? Sounds naive if you ask me, or just super-trolling (but I don't care because he's some console developing douchebag, herp-a-derp).

He didn't say anything about PC Gamers. PC = Politically Correct in this sense.

Was I the only one thinking this was actually about in-game happy endings...(as in not getting screwed over by Colypso)

gentlemanghost:
Soooo, $60 for a BJ? It's probably cheaper to get a hooker for that

You're only gonna play split-screen with her once?

Oh thank god. I clicked on the link thinking it meant that the game's character endings would be happy. There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and every Twisted Metal ending is depressing as all holy hell.

I like this guy. I want to see what he makes next.

All the bitching on here is hilarious. Christ, it's a joke, get over it. No one would have batted an eyelid if it were a woman saying something equivalent about men.

aeric90:
Oh thank god. I clicked on the link thinking it meant that the game's character endings would be happy. There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and every Twisted Metal ending is depressing as all holy hell.

Well I think Grass Hopper in TM2 (or maybe TM(1)... Grass Hopper's 1st appearance.) She was a secret agent assigned to get close to Colypso so she could eliminate him. Pretty sure she survives afterwards same thing with Darkside driven by Mr. Ash & Twisted Metal Black had a mostly Dark endings if not depressing ones for the player's character.

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