Half-Life Barnacle Ceiling Lamp is the Best Worst Decor Ever

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Half-Life Barnacle Ceiling Lamp is the Best Worst Decor Ever

Here's a home decor idea you won't find at your local Ikea: a hideous, grotesque and all-too-lifelike Half-Life Barnacle ceiling lamp.

The most disgusting creature to come out of the Half-Life franchise, by far, has to be the Barnacle. They cling to ceilings, quivering and unseen, dangling their unearthly tongues as they wait to snare the unwary and suck them up into their foul maws. They're not much better dead, thanks to the belching, vomitorious shower of offal that results from killing them. They are grotesque abominations of nature.

They also make pretty cool home decor, at least in the eyes of German sculptor Daniel Ritthanondh, who woke up one morning wondering why nobody had ever made a Half-Life Barnacle ceiling lamp. And then, being the ambitious sort, he went ahead and did it himself.

What he came up with is repulsive in every way. Teeth, tongue, pseudo-eye-things, even the high-gloss sheen that gives it that extra touch of slimy ick are all perfectly recreated. It's the creepiest, most awful piece of lighting decor I've ever seen. Naturally, I want one. Badly.

Alas, I won't get one. "While there won't really be a 'place' to buy them, there'll definitely be a very (very) limited run of OOAK [one of a kind] Barnacle ceiling lamps," Ritthanondh wrote on his blog. "At this point it hasn't been decided yet how limited 'limited' [it] is, but we're probably talking about five pieces (or actually four since one of them has already turned into a commission)."

How much these things will cost wasn't mentioned but I suspect it's not particularly relevant. My guess is that if you have to ask, well, maybe you should just pop over to Ikea after all.

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...eewwwwww

I wouldnt feel comfortable having that on my roof, even if it is fake it would be paranioa inducing

I would love to have one of those things in my house. Even if it would be expensive.

I'd take one if I didn't have an irrational fear of being scalloped.

Well that's....really cool. Would I go and buy one? Probably not.

I love how completely and utterly out of place that thing is. You've got this ugly, slimy, monstrosity camouflaged against the white, clean, brightly lit ceiling.

I must have one. It will look great (and so out of place) in my house.

Now that would make me look up more, just like the original barnacle did.

If you buy one, you should make sure you have "no firearms in the house" policy. Otherwise you might not have it for long.

Anyway, I think it's rather cool. But on the other hand it's ugly and may give me nightmares. But it's rather cool. I'm confused. Should I buy it or should I laugh at those who do. The fact that I can't really afford it doesn't help my dilemma.

Imagine 20 of those in the ceiling of a room complete with sound effects. I would know they are fake but I would not dare enter the room without packing at least a crowbar.

Ewww, it's so gross looking...

I'll take ten!

Ultratwinkie:

I would love to have one of those things in my house. Even if it would be expensive.

Ninja'd

OT: I haven't gotten much experience with Half-Life (due to lack of free time anymore) but I would love to have it as well. That and the portal gun... and the gravity-gun whenever someone makes it.

Wow... that guy could give the Volpin Props guy a run for his money.

I noticed the A Softer World poster in the background. Somehow, I lack surprise.

This is discusting... and awesome.

Awesome I'd buy one of those

I just imagined how it would feel like to wake up in the morning and seeing it hanging above you.
What a horrible thought but I still want one.

I would only feel comfortable waking up to this if I had some HEV pajamas and a handy crowbar...

Still, I want one.

I'm kinda torn on this item. On the one hand it's an amazing piece of fan art and the details are great! On the other hand? God it's nasty looking and yeah, I'd be kinda worried if someone shot the thing on a base impulse of fear.

Beryl77:
I just imagined how it would feel like to wake up in the morning and seeing it hanging above you.

Yeah. "YaaaawwwwwwwwnnnnnaaaaaAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

Forget the ceiling. I want to put one of those on my front porch for Halloween. Or I would if I had a front porch. Or if people actually went trick-or-treating here.

Bonus points if you attach fly paper to it.

As terrifying as it would be to sleep under it, your chances of being assaulted at night are reduced by 85% or your money back!

lacktheknack:
As terrifying as it would be to sleep under it, your chances of being assaulted at night are reduced by 85% or your money back!

That number would be higher, but you know... rule 34.

Scars Unseen:

lacktheknack:
As terrifying as it would be to sleep under it, your chances of being assaulted at night are reduced by 85% or your money back!

That number would be higher, but you know... rule 34.

;_;

y internet y

It's so hideous its awesome. Unfortunately if I showed up with that in my hands my wife would promptly slam the door in the face and/or my kids would never enter the den (cause I'd put it right over the doorway:P) On second thought.....

Obviously, a lot of time and effort went into making it, and it is an awesome replica, but would I want one in my house? Hell no.

Errr weren't they had more of a red/ pink/ fleshy colours?

Either way that is pretty cool. I didn't knew those thing had eyes judging from one of the photo.

I'd buy 1 sneak into a mates house and put it up just at the main door so he can walk into the tongue as he enters <cue evil laugh>.

That....that is just FUCKING WEIRD looking.

Cool but just god damn weird.

Send one to Valve, maybe they'll give you a copy of HL3 they keep locked in their vaults to taunt us.

This would go well with my new Nyaghogghua rug. Very nicely indeed.

I'm actually wondering how all the barnacles in the games got up to where they did.

OT: I really want one SO bad

I would not be able to sleep well with that silhouette in my ceiling.

However i'm curious... do you turn it on and off by pulling the thread or does it have a conventional light switch?

Quiet Stranger:
I'm actually wondering how all the barnacles in the games got up to where they did.

They're kinda like mold. The release Spores in that death throw up, some attach in the correct conditions and grow. Small microbes first, then insects, small animals, until they're big enough to eat gordon's brain out.

Andy Chalk:

How much these things will cost wasn't mentioned but I suspect it's not particularly relevant. My guess is that if you have to ask, well, maybe you should just pop over to Ikea after all.

And you know what? that's perfectly fine with me. It's good for a chuckle or a quick article on say, a gaming news website. But I would NOT want to walk around it every day. Blech.

I'll wait for the cheaper mass produced mark II when they introduce the animated light cords that extend and retract when you turn the light on and off.

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