Microsoft is cracking down on "racy" Windows Phone apps.
You know what's great about Android? Porn. It's a nice enough mobile OS and all that but what it really comes down to is that I like knowing that no matter where I am, a veritable cornucopia of ladies willing to show me their naughty bits is only a couple of screen taps away. You can't get that from an iPhone, and Microsoft wants you to know that it's not happening on Windows Phones, either.
"Our content policies are clearly spelled out: we don't allow apps containing 'sexually suggestive or provocative' images or content," Todd Brix, the senior director of the Windows Phone Market, wrote on the Windows Phone Developer Blog.
"We take this responsibility seriously and evaluate and discuss questionable cases. Recently we decided that we could improve the shopping experience for all our customers by a more stringent interpretation and enforcement of our existing content policy," he continued. "Specifically, we will be paying more attention to the icons, titles, and content of these apps and expect them to be more subtle and modest in the imagery and terms used. Apps that don't fit our standard will need to be updated to remain in the store. This is about presenting the right content to the right customer and ensuring that apps meet our standards. We will also monitor customer reaction to apps and reserve the right to remove ones that our customers find offensive."
Brix acknowledged that the harder line might require some extra work by "a small number of developers," but offered a few ideas for "creative and appropriate" ways to keep it inside the lines and even provided four examples of acceptable app tiles. Microsoft will be contacting affected developers over the next few days to detail the changes they need to make, he added, so anyone who doesn't hear from Microsoft is safe - for now.
According to comScore, Microsoft currently holds 3.9 percent of the smartphone market, well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is. You may proceed to make whatever jokes you feel appropriate.
You'd think they go "Wait, this is something we can take advantage of people! Apple has a no porn policy, so if we let it slide for us, then all of those horny bastards will use our phone, cause boobs!"
Andy Chalk: well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is. You may proceed to make whatever jokes you feel appropriate.
What? When I think of Microsoft, I think of nothing but sex, considering how much they fuck us... Okay, no, I don't actually think they're that bad, it just seemed an appropriate comback-y thing to say regardless of the facts. Also, note how I snuck "butt sex" in there. It's even more funny when I explain it.
I never knew you could get porn applications on my android.... probably because its a waste of time when you have a browser, video player, and picture viewer preinstalled.
All the joking aside, them limiting apps on the phone isn't helping them. I use Android, though I have never used any kind of apps for porn (didn't even think to check, I would rather use my desktop with it's 27" monitor to look at lady part though). I know one guy who uses a Windows phone. And there is nothing on it for him. I wish Microsoft would stop sticking their heads in markets where everyone else does it better. Mobile OS's, MP3 players, videogames.... Ok, maybe that last on is arguable, but you get my drift.
Best job ever: Looking through porn apps all day to make sure its explicit. Worst Job Ever: Having to take it down and then having to explain to other guys what you do for a living
All the joking aside, them limiting apps on the phone isn't helping them. I use Android, though I have never used any kind of apps for porn (didn't even think to check, I would rather use my desktop with it's 27" monitor to look at lady part though). I know one guy who uses a Windows phone. And there is nothing on it for him. I wish Microsoft would stop sticking their heads in markets where everyone else does it better. Mobile OS's, MP3 players, videogames.... Ok, maybe that last on is arguable, but you get my drift.
I guess Microsoft just doesn't want a case of "Group for the Protection of Children and Christian Values is amassing a class-action law suit against microsoft for not putting enough restrictions on adult material available to kids using W7 phones". It's pretty much bound to happen sooner or later.
I find it odd that MS is trying to ram this down our throats, because there are so many other ways to deal with it. Have an account option where you can check off "No explicit apps plz kthxbai" and then they're out of sight and mind. That shuts up the "Won't somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDRENS!" crowd (well, as much as that is possible anyways), and lets adults use "adult" content.
And yeah, it remains stupid because these phones connect to the internet. Everyone join in on a chorus of what the internet is for...
008Zulu: Its all in the name; Micro-Soft. Micro Soft.
Porn makes the world go round. Its why VHS beat Beta, its why its why blu-ray beat hd-dvd. Its why Android will topple Apple.
It really is true that Porn makes the world go round. I know it is the main reason for the way our movies have been. Porn chose VHS over Beta, chose DVD over laser disc. However, I could have sworn I heard that porn chose HD-DVD over Blu Ray and the only reason the media chose Blu Ray was because porn is so free over the inter-webs, so they no longer had to follow it.
Nerexor: I find it odd that MS is trying to ram this down our throats, because there are so many other ways to deal with it. Have an account option where you can check off "No explicit apps plz kthxbai" and then they're out of sight and mind. That shuts up the "Won't somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDRENS!" crowd (well, as much as that is possible anyways), and lets adults use "adult" content.
And yeah, it remains stupid because these phones connect to the internet. Everyone join in on a chorus of what the internet is for...
The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! Why you think the net was born? Porn porn porn!
Also, if years of bitter cynicism taught me anything, having a box to check to get rid of all the naughty apps isn't enough for the "PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!" crowd. They'll only be satisfied when every single piece of it has been mercilessly hunted down and brutally eliminated, preferably bankrupting whatever company/person released it with hundreds of lawsuits. FOR THE CHILDREN. Children, after all, LOVE bankruptcy.
And all adults HATE porn, so naturally, they know what's best for EVERYONE.
All the joking aside, them limiting apps on the phone isn't helping them. I use Android, though I have never used any kind of apps for porn (didn't even think to check, I would rather use my desktop with it's 27" monitor to look at lady part though). I know one guy who uses a Windows phone. And there is nothing on it for him. I wish Microsoft would stop sticking their heads in markets where everyone else does it better. Mobile OS's, MP3 players, videogames.... Ok, maybe that last on is arguable, but you get my drift.
I guess Microsoft just doesn't want a case of "Group for the Protection of Children and Christian Values is amassing a class-action law suit against microsoft for not putting enough restrictions on adult material available to kids using W7 phones". It's pretty much bound to happen sooner or later.
With all due respect this has nothing at all to do with America. Microsoft is operating on global level and most non EU/US countries are considerably more socially conservative. Selling to the 300 million strong in middle class in India the no porn is a selling plus. The same can be said of most middle eastern countries and China is very restrictive about porn. The BRIC's are where the sales growth is coming from and in the current economic climate and companies are tailoring their products and services to that market. Microsoft isn't going to beat Apple or Google in the western markets so they risk nothing in trying to get market share elsewhere.
Incidentally, who the hell would want to look at porn on their phone anyway? It's not as though those things have great resolution. Like are you that desperate for boobs that you can't wait till you get home and get on the Internet?
i can remember joking to a friend about 15 years ago that eventually people would be able to see porn on their phones and my friend laughed and said dont be stupid no one would bother with that. i unfortunately one that one
I've seen some of the porn apps on Android. They're universally rubbish and look as virus riddled as the women they display. Actually, very few apps of any kind do anything HTML can't do now anyway. Nothing of value will be lost by this.
It should clean the marketplace up a bit but will they take the same stance on fart apps, Bieber sound boards and prank cracked screen apps?
I never got the appeal of porn on mobile devices, honestly. Wouldn't anyone rather be back home, with a comfortable environment to, well, "self-stimulate" oneself to, than just be stuck with a tiny screen that's probably covered in finger marks?
"Oshit, I'm in the middle of my subway commute to work, but I just got this MASSIVE boner, right now! I must fap! Quick, Ridiculously Small Screen to the rescue!"
I mean, seriously. Dates with Rosie Palms can feel undignified as is, for some people - it just seems to me that expecting a smartphone to cater to that need is a little self-castigating.
I'd much rather use my TV or an actual computer screen than my Windows Phone for my weekly doses of smut.
They're missing out on a wide range of possible moneymakers here, like the uFap: A sort of "masturbatory pedometer," (That's "pedo-" as in foot, folks) which estimates calories burned per 'session.' Promoting healthy behaviors in several ways at once!
Andy Chalk: You know what's great about Android? Porn.
(Fires up The Sexy Data Tango.)
Andy Chalk: "Our content policies are clearly spelled out: we don't allow apps containing 'sexually suggestive or provocative' images or content," Todd Brix, the senior director of the Windows Phone Market, wrote on the Windows Phone Developer Blog.
Betamax vs. VHS: Porn went VHS. VHS won. DIVX vs. DVD: Porn wasn't allowed on DIVX. DVD won. BluRay vs. HD-DVD: Porn went HD-DVD. BluRay won.
Hmmm. Not completely a lost cause but not the best odds.
Andy Chalk: "We take this responsibility seriously and evaluate and discuss questionable cases.
So it's kind of like "I'll know it when I see it, so I want to see it all."?
Andy Chalk: "We will also monitor customer reaction to apps and reserve the right to remove ones that our customers find offensive."
So, everything?
Andy Chalk: Microsoft currently holds 3.9 percent of the smartphone market, well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is.
008Zulu: Its all in the name; Micro-Soft. Micro Soft.
Porn makes the world go round. Its why VHS beat Beta, its why its why blu-ray beat hd-dvd. Its why Android will topple Apple.
Except that that was never the reason why VHS won and most porn companies actually signed up with HD-DVD, not blu-ray.
OT: This is just so stupid, if people want to watch porn, let them watch porn. Why censor people's choices because you personally don't agree with it. Are they going to start censoring porn on computers using Windows as well?
Edit: Found a decent explanation as to why VHS actually won from the Beta Max, one that doesn't involve the nonsense that it was the porn industry and the porn industry alone. It was a part of it, but definitely not the biggest part.
There were several reasons... like the Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD format war of today, this wasn't decided overnight, or by any single thing.
The first was recording time. When Sony introduced BetaMax, it recorded one hour of video per tape. JVC came out shortly after with VHS, and it initially supported two hours per tape.
This keyed into the second win for VHS -- rentals. A single VHS tape could hold a whole movie, while you needed two tapes for Betamax.
Third was licensing and cost. Sony, as they often have been, were not aggressively licensing the technology, and they wanted a fair bit of money for it. JVC was licensing on the cheap, and also made their cassettes cheap.
So as rentals started being a factor, VHS started winning. It wasn't overnight... Sony introduced a longer playing mode, 2 hours on the Betamax... then JVC introduced four hours (LP mode) then six hours (SLP or EP mode), and by then, it was history. Anyway, rentals started to become big business, and VHS proved superior here, between licensing and length... more releases on VHS meant more to rent, which could be important for new people buying a player.
There's some evidence that the ability to rent X-Rated tapes also pushed VHS. This has some foundation.. before videotape, the Pornography Industry was tiny. Rentals, and later cable/satellite, made it the multi-billion-dollar business it is today. http://www.law.indiana.edu/fclj/pubs/v49...
There have been arguments that Betamax had higher quality video, and that is technically correct, but exaggerated. And unimportant. When VCRs came out, virtually no televisions had composite video inputs, you had to hook into via the antenna input, modulated usually on channel 3 or 4 in the USA. That killed the quality of video and sound enough that few were willing to give up time for quality.
And then the original purpose, time shifting, was becoming an everyday thing for many people.. that's where the longer record times for VHS really won... you didn't care all that much about the quality, you would have missed it if not for that 6 hour time (up to 8 hours on special long tapes).
No Sex Please, We're Microsoft
Microsoft is cracking down on "racy" Windows Phone apps.
You know what's great about Android? Porn. It's a nice enough mobile OS and all that but what it really comes down to is that I like knowing that no matter where I am, a veritable cornucopia of ladies willing to show me their naughty bits is only a couple of screen taps away. You can't get that from an iPhone, and Microsoft wants you to know that it's not happening on Windows Phones, either.
"Our content policies are clearly spelled out: we don't allow apps containing 'sexually suggestive or provocative' images or content," Todd Brix, the senior director of the Windows Phone Market, wrote on the Windows Phone Developer Blog.
"We take this responsibility seriously and evaluate and discuss questionable cases. Recently we decided that we could improve the shopping experience for all our customers by a more stringent interpretation and enforcement of our existing content policy," he continued. "Specifically, we will be paying more attention to the icons, titles, and content of these apps and expect them to be more subtle and modest in the imagery and terms used. Apps that don't fit our standard will need to be updated to remain in the store. This is about presenting the right content to the right customer and ensuring that apps meet our standards. We will also monitor customer reaction to apps and reserve the right to remove ones that our customers find offensive."
Brix acknowledged that the harder line might require some extra work by "a small number of developers," but offered a few ideas for "creative and appropriate" ways to keep it inside the lines and even provided four examples of acceptable app tiles. Microsoft will be contacting affected developers over the next few days to detail the changes they need to make, he added, so anyone who doesn't hear from Microsoft is safe - for now.
According to comScore, Microsoft currently holds 3.9 percent of the smartphone market, well behind the struggling RIM but still ahead of Symbian, whatever the hell that is. You may proceed to make whatever jokes you feel appropriate.
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