"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

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May God, or whatever deity you may believe in, have mercy on us all.

captcha: 'chow down' I wish I could...I wish...I could...

The world better end this december for real!

The Rascal King:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

image

shit yeah

What?.... sorry, let me say that again.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT????????????
DAAAAAAAAAAA
FUUUUUUUUUUCCK!!!
ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BURN IT!!!!!!!!!1

Burn it 'till it dies!!!

PureIrony:
Today...is a good day to like Turkey Bacon.
image
Screw pork.

You souless man! How can you defile the sacred name of bacon with such..... such filth!!

If there is a god, save our bacon!

Jandau:
I know this is a symptom of the climate change and the herald of the ever-increasing resource shortage our planet is facing. I know more things like this will continue to occur and that producing meat (at least as we do now) will eventually become unsustainable as the demand for food increases. I know many farmers might lose a ton of money, maybe even all they have. And I know that all of the above is depressing, sad and worrying.

That stuff just ain't true, all these "freak climates" have happened centuries before and will happen again, planets are not systems set in stone, they fluctuate.
Also people don't seem to remember that tons upon tons of perfectly good food is thrown away everywhere every day because we produce so much you just can't sell it all.
And farmers are giving up farms because the market is so over saturated you don't even get peanuts for the shit you grow, if this actually means a greater demand in pork people could get properly paid for once.

Paragon Fury:
My feeling on this?

Dang you beat me to it...so instead...

TizzytheTormentor:
image

That gif is awesome, what series is it from?

OT: Meh, I was never much of a bacon guy to begin with. If they also start running out of steak however, drastic measures will have to be taken.

Theminimanx:

TizzytheTormentor:
image

That gif is awesome, what series is it from?

OT: Meh, I was never much of a bacon guy to begin with. If they also start running out of steak however, drastic measures will have to be taken.

Angel Beats I think, I have a friend who loves it and says I should watch it (Too bad my Backlog on Anime is getting bigger)

Spreading rumors.

If it's good enough to use by international bankers to destroy the economy of an entire country, it's good enough for some bacon price jump stimulation!

Also, FUCK BACON! I don't really eat it more than once a year. It's the other stuff that's important.

And what about the corn? WILL SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CORN?!?!?

Well, fark. There's supposed to be a beef shortage in the near future for the same reasons (apparently half ton poop factories eat a lot, who knew?). I have a feeling there will be a lot of chicken in my future, and chicken gets really boring after a while...

Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do.
image

The Rascal King:
Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

image

shit yeah

Sorry pal but there is a soy shortage too. This is an extinction level event, there is no escape from the bacocalypse.

I admire the US spirit to buy things, but China houses the most pork eating people per capita and has crazy deep pockets. I fear for our lives in the oncoming conflict.

*puts down a chicken sandwich*

Wot?

Well Chicken is better than bacon anyway
*runs into armoured flame bunker*

And so it begins, the end times are upon us. The Mayans were right! May God have mercy on us all

image

rolfwesselius:

Well Chicken is better than bacon anyway
*runs into armoured flame bunker*

Healhtier, yes, better? BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, I did not think it was possible to be soooooo wrong about something.

Solve media: marry me
But we hardly know each other!

Are we talking about real bacon or American bacon?

Because there's a huge difference.

the real travesty here is all the abysmal jokes and meme usage that have arisen from this thread.

I used to think some users on here were witty

image

image

Hopefully the myans were right...

We brought this upon ourselves. WE just ignored the warnings... How unfortunate.

My reaction to this topic:
image

I just.. I.. I don't want this anymore...
Just, WHY!?
At this rate I might as well go vegetarian.

Daystar Clarion:
Are we talking about real bacon or American bacon?

Because there's a huge difference.

I second this question. What problem are Yanks gonna have? Their shrivelled strips of fat with a sliver of meat attached is barely 0.5% of a pig.

*inhales* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*hyperventalates*ooooooooooo...

*catches breath*

Looks like I'll have to resort to alternates. Turkey bacon should suffice for now.

This is a fucking disgrace! What the fuck am I meant to do with my fucking cakes when I don't fucking have any more fucking bacon fucking icing left? How the fuck was this allowed to fucking happen? I won't fucking even have any fucking bacon flavoured toothfuckingpaste! I want my fucking bacon!

Oh man, so many people must be fucking pissed at Epic Meal Time. Expect a Jack Daniels shortage in the same year.

TizzytheTormentor:
N...No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm outta here!

image
THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME IN THIS WORLD!!!

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

Hang on, I thought pigs could eat almost any food type. Meat, grains, veg, I've even heard of them eating human remains. I fail to see how they could not have been fed with a substitute.

Thank god. So maybe now all the hipster douches who rant about bacon and put bacon on everything including fucking ice-cream can find some other food to love ironically.

Somethingfake:

TizzytheTormentor:
N...No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm outta here!

image
THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME IN THIS WORLD!!!

Could you tell me where that gif is from?

Geez, third timeI have been asked.

It's from Angel Beats.

*Puts on Ultra-Conservative Republican hat*

"This is nothing more than typical liberal trash. Science is wrong. Mankind--not humanity--MANkind is commanded by God to dominate the world and all its animals.

Liberals are the real swine--obstructing the wholesome production of divinely blessed porkage with their vile EPA standards.

Global Warming is a hoax. The complete melting of the polar ice caps happen all the time. Just thirty years ago liberal paid scientists were falsifying their data to prove that we were entering an ice age.

Science doesn't belong in schools. The Department of Education should be eradicated. All teachers who pass on these lies about Global Warming should be fired and replaced with supporters of Intelligent Design.

There is no bacon shortage. There will never be a bacon shortage. If a bacon shortage occurred it would solely be a result of God punishing Americans for not supporting an American theocracy."

***cough---choke---cough***

Sorry, everybody. I couldn't keep the Dunce Hat on any longer.

OT: I don't eat that much bacon, but my roommate lives on the stuff. Bacon sandwiches two or three times a week. Bacon on his salads, etc. This won't go over well with him.

Not much of a fan of bacon, but if I have to go a week without a sausage sandwich, I think I might lose it.

If only bacon was any good to begin with, I would maybe, just maybe give a single fuck about this. But since it's shit, you own me 10 fucks for reading this... "article".

No bacon.....NO BACON!?

Ok, that's it..you thought my one man war against the Bronies in the dark ages of the internet was horrifying. Well, the world is going to give me my bacon, or i shall take it by whatever means necessary:

image

I'm ready when you are world.

PureIrony:
Today...is a good day to like Turkey Bacon.
image
Screw pork.

I'll stand by you.

What's there to like about pigs anyway?
Except for the fact they constitute 107%[1] of my Minecraft diet.

But seriously. I'm not that big a fan of bacon anyway.

[1] 98% of Steve?'s consumption, and about 9% of my lust for stabbing things with a sword.

Just eat something else.

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