"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

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Trilligan:
"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

Just for you saying that I'm gonna fry some Tofu...

In BACON OIL with a large side of BACON

rolfwesselius:
Doesn't america have like a crapton of wild board ravaging farms, neighbourhoods, and infrastructure? Why not hunt and kill those.

Ot: i'm gonna call my rich uncle and tell him to stock up on bacon to sell later.

There's a limit. Only 12 boar a season. I hit mine two days into the season. My stand up freezer is packed to capacity with bacon, ham, ribs, and pork loin.

Plus it doesn't taste the same, a little gamey y'know?

Spaghetti:

Daystar Clarion:
Are we talking about real bacon or American bacon?

Because there's a huge difference.

I second this question. What problem are Yanks gonna have? Their shrivelled strips of fat with a sliver of meat attached is barely 0.5% of a pig.

Looks about the same as ours if you know which brand to buy. I like mine a little thinner personally. At least it isn't "Canadian Bacon".

The world will start to have less and less Bacon since next year? Oh...My...God...I can't...care less for this. Yeah...I'm Not a fan of Bacon like most of you guys here.

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Well the guy's been in over 70 movies, I can't say I blame him if he wants to slow it down a bit.

Unavoidable my ass stand back people i can fix this.

*walks up to a pig and tells it* "you now live on chow mein tell the others" "oink" "exactly pig".

See bacalypse diverted i will be back to save the world again next week

There is a simple solution for this, and many other meats we may have future shortages on: public farming. The government already subsidizes private farmers $XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX every year, only for those famers to be charged $XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX by Monsanto, thereby charging consumers $XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

. . . for an 8 oz. sirloin steak. It's not like pigs and cows are going extinct. Let's put them into a system that works for us and not for "them" (Monsanto, McDonalds)!

Dear God, not the bacon!

Us Canadians won't be too happy about this.

And not a fuck was given. If I'm that desperate for bacon (and I won't be), I'll just go with the turkey variety.

......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh wait, I eat turkey bacon. Ah well, good luck ya'll.

In fact, I'll go eat some right now. 'nomnomnomnomnom'

Forgive me...I couldn't resist....

image

My personal recipe for the best pork roast evaaaaar.
---------------------------------------------------------
*Preset oven to 405*F.
*Get a fat roast & cut it in an unraveling pattern, so you can roll it up like a swiss cake roll latter.
*Fill with feta, dried apricots, & fresh spinach & or fresh basil.
*Roll it up & tie the ends with cord yarn.
*Put in a pot with a handle.
*Cover in honey, garlic granules, olive oil, & a little soy sauce.
*Saute & turn until outsides are brown.
*Put roast & sauce in a shallow pan & put it in the oven for 10 minutes.
*Flip it over & cook another 10 minutes.

Goes best with roast potatoes, which cook at 405*F for an hour. Cover them in olive oil, paprika, rosemary, marjoram, thyme, granulated garlic, granulated onion, sea salt, oregano, & basil. For gravy, make a rue of butter, olive oil, & flour. Add chicken or beef broth & sea salt.

Thank God!

My arteries need a break. Wait, a break wouldn't be good. Vacation... no... Okay, how about less trans fat being pumped through them at high pressure damaging the walls and then the fatty acids go into the damage and prevent healing leading to heart-disease. Yeah, my arteries need less of that.

reading this news made me very sad :c

although I did recently describe duck meat as being somewhat of pork in fowl form lol (deliciously fatty) annnd now I'm hungry

We must stand united in these dark times.
Many of us won't make it, but we must honor their sacrifice.
We shall survive this and will become stronger for it.

The funny thing? I don't even LIKE bacon. But i love the smell...

I'm gonna miss the smell =(

...Then again, we kinda deserve it. Somebody make a fracking SKYRIM HELMET out of bacon...

No!

image

The bacon must flow...

Jandau:
I know this is a symptom of the climate change and the herald of the ever-increasing resource shortage our planet is facing. I know more things like this will continue to occur and that producing meat (at least as we do now) will eventually become unsustainable as the demand for food increases. I know many farmers might lose a ton of money, maybe even all they have. And I know that all of the above is depressing, sad and worrying.

But I can't help but start laughing whenever I read "Global Bacon Shortage"... :D

Climate change less so than a general population increase and resource shortage. I anticipate it will be a self correcting problem though.

Right now a lot of the problems simply come about due to pie in the sky liberals and humanitarians labouring under the impression that there is enough on the planet for everyone to have a decent standard of living. All these developing nations that compete for more resources put an increased demand on supplies, and of course a lot of these same people who are all about peaceful co-existance and so on are the same ones who cry about how we're strip mining and deforesting the planet to death.

In the end the bottom line is that there will be pressure on enough resources where we're going to wake up and see World War III fought largely over economics and materials. The big countries more or less acting to deplete second and third world populations and keep the nations down, much like we were falsely accused of doing in previous generations. I also think it's inevitable that we're going to see an east vs. west war largely over resources and economics, as the situation is already a mess of debt, patent violations, and robber economies (which caused a lot of that debt) that is beyond any peaceful resolution.

It won't be a "bacon war", but I imagine it's yet another thing that is piling up on top of things like competition over oil, wood, and similar materials. It will come down to the bottom line of people in the US having to decide if they are going to be willing to go without bacon for breakfast every day, so people in developing nations who never had the abillity to push for it before, can eat some.... an example based on the subject of this article. Except in this case it's probabyl going to also involve gas, wood, and everything else.

In the end there won't be any right or wrong involved, just "us or them". I just hope when it happens an unprecedented number of people die, but the US at least remains intact and functional to maintain some degree of order. The big challenge from that point on will be to prevent another global baby boom, and keep the population down so as not to put as much strain on resources while the planet replentishes itself.

Not a nice way to view it things, but I've been saying that Dark Days are coming for a long time (and before The Secret World started using it as a catch phrase). It would be funny if it was a baconpocolypse and this was the straw that started it, but to be honest I think it won't be about any resource in paticular, but rather the money/economic power with which such things are obtained. I think things will really start off when the US and China go at it, China tries to call in it's debt, and the US laughs at them and demands China pay repairations for it's robber economy in terms of it's patent violations and such, which actually exceed the amount the US actually owes China (some pie in the sky idealists have hoped that China would eventually join the rest of the world's trade policies, and deal with the side issues by simply negotiating debt forgiveness in exchange for not being held accountable for it's excesses when it starts participating fairly). In the end I imagine it will amount to western powers with a lot of dependency on patents and IPs and issues with China over it siding with the US, while a lot of eastern powers side with China, the US declaring martial law and a draft, and the oceans filling with blood. If any of us are alive to see this (and depressingly I think we will be) we're all likely to die just by the numbers.... but it will give the globe a chance to avoid creating this kind of resource crunch again when it's over, assuming enough people die to lower the overall demand. A nice round 95-99% of all humans dying (sort of like Zombie Apocolypse numbers without the zombies) is an ideal eestimate, with humanity re-establishing itself to no more than 10% of the current numbers so everyone will have plenty of space and potential resources would be ideal.

Okay, well enough gloom and doom.... the point is I agree with the resource shortage problem, and think this is just another minor 'tick' on the real doomsday clock.

HalfTangible:
The funny thing? I don't even LIKE bacon. But i love the smell...

I'm gonna miss the smell =(

...Then again, we kinda deserve it. Somebody make a fracking SKYRIM HELMET out of bacon...

My previous, morbid post aside... just imagine if they manage to enamel that and preserve it... some day it could be like a sacred artifact... people looking on it with more awe than the Crown Jewels as they dream of past societies where people were so wealthy they could make headwear out of bacon....

Also, I wonder if perhaps this is what the Mayans predicted... when the reality finally sinks in on 12/21/12 the resulting Bacon riots will destroy the world. The final moments coming when Baconphilles within the military command structure take control of a huge stockpile of missles and cut loose... not wanting to envision a world without bacon, and saving us all from ourselves.

Or perhaps people en-masse deciding "Long Pig" sounds like something that could be as good as bacon, as the planet immediatly falls into a cannibalistic rampage of destruction, the final human survivor devouring himself pathetically right as the final seconds of 12/21/12 tick off....

Okay, I'm running out of silly ideas.

From what I heard, this was never meant to get this big. The story, that is. According to my brother - CLEARLY the most reliable source in the world - this started as a press-release by hog farmers in a small town saying that they, specifically, would likely have a shortage. But the news hit the internet and people took it to mean a wide-spread shortage when it really won't be.

Just throwin' that out there. :P

Therumancer:

HalfTangible:
The funny thing? I don't even LIKE bacon. But i love the smell...

I'm gonna miss the smell =(

...Then again, we kinda deserve it. Somebody make a fracking SKYRIM HELMET out of bacon...

My previous, morbid post aside... just imagine if they manage to enamel that and preserve it... some day it could be like a sacred artifact... people looking on it with more awe than the Crown Jewels as they dream of past societies where people were so wealthy they could make headwear out of bacon....

Also, I wonder if perhaps this is what the Mayans predicted... when the reality finally sinks in on 12/21/12 the resulting Bacon riots will destroy the world. The final moments coming when Baconphilles within the military command structure take control of a huge stockpile of missles and cut loose... not wanting to envision a world without bacon, and saving us all from ourselves.

Or perhaps people en-masse deciding "Long Pig" sounds like something that could be as good as bacon, as the planet immediatly falls into a cannibalistic rampage of destruction, the final human survivor devouring himself pathetically right as the final seconds of 12/21/12 tick off....

Okay, I'm running out of silly ideas.

Did the Mayans HAVE pigs? =/

(Also, the mayans didn't predict jack. The Calendar just sort of stops at 12/21/12)

there will be no bacon next year?!

image

but I need bacon I haven't had it in a long while please bring me bacon....*faints*

2012... Bacon shortage next year... coincidence?

NO! This is the last thing I needed in life...I think.

Hurry everyone. To CANADA to steal their bacon!

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