Xbox 360, Now With Porn

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Xbox 360, Now With Porn

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YouPorn would like to remind you that you will soon be able to watch porn on your Xbox 360.

With the introduction of Internet Explorer, the Xbox 360 will become a full-featured (heh) web vessel, allowing users to explore the vast oceans of the internet. What sights they will see; the learned ramblings of Wikipedia, the nerdy humor of xkcd, the cutting satire of the Onion and, uh, the sizable collection of pornography offered on YouPorn, apparently.

In a joyful post on its official blog, the popular skin site reminded users that their Xbox 360s will soon become bona fide smut machines. It even suggests that users desperate for carnal relief may want to join the 2012 XBL Public Beta, which already has the browser included.

"Thanks at long last to the introduction of Internet Explorer for XBox, you can now tap in to and stream all your favorite free YouPorn videos right from your Xbox," reads the blog. "Whether you're pwning n00bs in CoD: Modern Warfare 3, annihilating Bullymong in Borderlands 2, or taking the Saints deep in Madden NFL 13, you're never more than a few simple controller clicks away from being face deep in hot free porn."

Face deep in hot free porn indeed. Microsoft, however, is less keen on seeing their prized console painted as a gateway to a universe of smut.

"To be clear, we are adding Internet Explorer to Xbox Live, not specific adult content providers like YouPorn or any other specific website content," the company told Kotaku. "Additionally, we give members and parents the option to turn this feature on or off for their accounts. Access to Internet Explorer for all Child accounts is blocked by default."

That's true, this isn't an officially sanctioned porno service like, say, the one offered on the PS3. While the addition of a fully featured internet browser means users will be able to access a whole range of sites, perhaps even this one, YouPorn's cheerfully perverted copy warms the heart.

For example:

"XBox Masturbator Pro Tip: Pick up a wireless USB keyboard to make your XBox Internet Explorer porn browsing experiencing even better. Just plug the Wireless USB adapter into one of the USB ports on your XBox and boom, instant XBox keyboard. Trust me, it's a hell of a lot easier than typing with your controller... and as we all know, the faster you can get to your precious porn, the better."

Source: Kotaku

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Grey got to write this one. Why am I not surprised ;D

My PC's already hooked up to my TV, so I won't really find any use out of this... unfortunately.

EDIT: Wonder if they could program an Xbox-only feature that made your controller vibrate while you were watching videos...

Okay, I get it. I'll shut up now.

Is it wrong to be amused that the first one to comment is "Fappy"?

OT: This kind of solidifies what was being said on the Jimquisition last week, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, if you're using your 360 for porn, what else are you gonna use it for?

I think this is the hardest I've laughed in a while.

"...you're never more than a few simple controller clicks away from being face deep in hot free porn."

Memorable.

Edit: Good job to Fappy for getting the first post in. I love it when stuff lines up like that.

"...taking the Saints deep..."

Heh, I see what you did there.

Zackmeister:
Is it wrong to be amused that the first one to comment is "Fappy"?

OT: This kind of solidifies what was being said on the Jimquisition last week, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, if you're using your 360 for porn, what else are you gonna use it for?

I'm glad I didn't disappoint ;)

Face deep?

Wouldn't that obstruct airflow?

I, for one, wouldn't want to be responsible for pornographic asphyxia.

I cant shake the feeling that you were on Youporn when you saw this message, and after finishing you took it to The Escapist....

Captchan: never nude
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Glad to see Xbox is handling this responsibly and maturely: Don't need YouPorn to know they have balls.

Huh, I guess Microsoft really does want Xbox to do it all...

Will Kinect be watching me enjoying my brand new access to the wonderful world of Console Porn? Is that good or bad? Kinect Porn maybe?

Wait... Internet Explorer?

Wow, so someone will finally be using it. Weird.

I still don't get why MS is so attached to that browser...

*Sees IE is developed by MS*

oooohhhh....

Porn: Better With Kinect.

Although, at least when I tried it, Internet Explorer wasn't able to play any video (due to not having the most recent version of Flash) so that may be rather problematic

Does the Kinect work with this new web browser service? I don't want to have to reach for the controller to restart the video during one of my self-love sessions.

mmm with orb and window media center streaming vids from your pc to the x-box why would you go webbrowsing at all >.<

Kudos to both Mr. Carter and Fappy making me laugh so much.

OT: Seeing as how parents often times don't even know about the parental control I can see this going badly. But kudos to you Microsoft, you can finally have your product called the SexBox and actually have it be kinda true. XD
In all seriousness this'll go badly once news networks find this out.

Krantos:
Wait... Internet Explorer?

Wow, so someone will finally be using it. Weird.

I still don't get why MS is so attached to that browser...

*Sees IE is developed by MS*

oooohhhh....

Well, duh. Expecting them to use any other browser would be like asking Apple to bundle Firefox with the iPhone instead of Safari. Or asking Amazon to use Chrome for the Kindle. Or Sony to... OK, I have no earthly clue what their PS3 browser is called, but I bet it's an in-house product too.

Steve the Pocket:

Krantos:
Wait... Internet Explorer?

Wow, so someone will finally be using it. Weird.

I still don't get why MS is so attached to that browser...

*Sees IE is developed by MS*

oooohhhh....

Well, duh. Expecting them to use any other browser would be like asking Apple to bundle Firefox with the iPhone instead of Safari. Or asking Amazon to use Chrome for the Kindle. Or Sony to... OK, I have no earthly clue what their PS3 browser is called, but I bet it's an in-house product too.

um....

I was making a joke.

"*Sees IE is developed by MS*" ?

that didn't tip you off? Really?

Apparently I suck at subtle humor....

Daystar Clarion:
Face deep?

Wouldn't that obstruct airflow?

I, for one, wouldn't want to be responsible for pornographic asphyxia.

I here some people are into that, not that I would know *cough*

OT: All they need to do is add controller vibration support and then they're golden :P

Everyone's quick to jump on the "lolz, pr0n" bandwagon, but I think this might actually be an important step for Microsoft improving the public image of Xbox users.

Think about it. All of those teenage boys and grown manchildren will be too busy...erm...checking for cancer, to bother clogging the headset chatter with hateful drivel.

I see this as progress.

Should make the discussions with tech when you get a red ring more interesting "what were you doing when it occurred sir"? " ummm.... playing halo :)".

Why do I have this horrible feeling, than once this is out. And x person is watching youporn. When a friend pops online, he'd gona see your on there...
Which he'll than start spamming you with messages, lambasting and making fun of you, ruining the mood.
Just use your computer for that purpose guys, and maybe gals, I don't discriminate. It was made for the job.

for some reason porn on the 360 dose not strike me as out of place ...

The only thing not mentioned in the article is, any expected idea when this is gonna happen?
-oh god, just realised my new avatar makes this post special.

Krantos:

Steve the Pocket:

Krantos:
Wait... Internet Explorer?

Wow, so someone will finally be using it. Weird.

I still don't get why MS is so attached to that browser...

*Sees IE is developed by MS*

oooohhhh....

Well, duh. Expecting them to use any other browser would be like asking Apple to bundle Firefox with the iPhone instead of Safari. Or asking Amazon to use Chrome for the Kindle. Or Sony to... OK, I have no earthly clue what their PS3 browser is called, but I bet it's an in-house product too.

um....

I was making a joke.

"*Sees IE is developed by MS*" ?

that didn't tip you off? Really?

Apparently I suck at subtle humor....

Ah internet sarcasm, allways someone there who misses it and procedes to form a lengthy and often rude rebuttal.

This is a joke right? right?

On the other hand, VR on Xbox plus this? Entertainment for days.

The day I can get porn on my xbox is the day I stop being good at video games. I mean seriously, when am I going to have time to practice flying jets when there's so much more- entertainment- available to me?

Just why internet explorer? Why!?

Steve the Pocket:

Krantos:
Wait... Internet Explorer?

Wow, so someone will finally be using it. Weird.

I still don't get why MS is so attached to that browser...

*Sees IE is developed by MS*

oooohhhh....

Well, duh. Expecting them to use any other browser would be like asking Apple to bundle Firefox with the iPhone instead of Safari. Or asking Amazon to use Chrome for the Kindle. Or Sony to... OK, I have no earthly clue what their PS3 browser is called, but I bet it's an in-house product too.

A forum I go on has a 'browser used for last visit' section in your profile, and if you use a PS3, it says this:
Mozilla/5.0
(PLAYSTATION 3 4.25)
AppleWebKit/531.22.8
(KHTML, like Gecko)

So, it appears to be Mozilla based........as well as a few other things.

OP: Speaking of the PS3's browser, YouPorn already works on it. And Redtube. And Motherless. And virtually any site full of free porn.
........................
What? Don't look at me like that! >_>

But does it have Hentai? Can I yiff with it?

This isn't the system's first experience with adult entertainment. If I'm not mistaken, the 360 was the system of choice for console releases of erotic visual novels and dating sims in Japan, much like the PS2 was in the previous generation.

I guess erotica has all come full circle for the xbox -- or should I say, it's come 360?

Aww...I thought this was going to be sarcastic, and that I'd find out some decent visual novels ported to the 360.

I'm calling it, this thing is going to have achievements. Can't wait to see who gets the 1,000,000 hours achievement

Microsoft is missing a golden opportunity here! With that GLOWING recommendation to buy keyboards for the Xbox, just think of the cross marketing these two could do! Useless "accessories" to aid your porn browsing experience.

When the browser update was announced at E3, I instantly thought this.

All thats left to do is be amused if your friends list shows where they are on the browser XD

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