Assassin's Creed III Rap Gives the British a Beat (Down)

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Assassin's Creed III Rap Gives the British a Beat (Down)

Watch Connor Kenway light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle.

With Assassin's Creed III finally creeping our way October 30, Smosh Games has released an original music video following new series protagonist Connor Kenway as he battles the Brits not with his hatchet, but with his razor-sharp lyrics (okay, so there's some hatchet in there, too). It must be pretty tough to blend in while busting dope rhymes all over 18th century America, but hey, wearing garish white robes on a park bench in plain sight never seemed to alert the templars, so who are we to judge the guy's strategy?

Like any rap worth its salt, Connor's song about surreptitiously knifing his foes wouldn't be complete without some worthy backup. First President of the United States and certified badass George Washington makes a cameo in a way we can only hope makes it into the actual game.

You can find more videos like this one on Smosh's YouTube channel.

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Sounds like someone stabbed Connor in the throat.

I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more!

Ho there! America, fetch your fighting trousers at once!

It wasn't catchy, shut up, I hated it >_>

Thought you played as a Native American in Assassins Creed III... funny that he sides with the group that nearly wipe them from the face of the planet. Realism is realistic in how real it is.

But seriously guys, yeah... we get it. You like to fixate on being considered less important than beating France(Yes, that is why America beat the British Empire.), personally I would focus my efforts on my own achievements but whatever.

Using tomahawks to kill off your enemies? Oh, the irony.

Kinguendo:
Thought you played as a Native American in Assassins Creed III... funny that he sides with the group that nearly wipe them from the face of the planet. Realism is realistic in how real it is.

But seriously guys, yeah... we get it. You like to fixate on being considered less important than beating France(Yes, that is why America beat the British Empire.), personally I would focus my efforts on my own achievements but whatever.

Actually, the developers are based in Montreal, Quebec. Which is in Canada, not the United States. And the official language is French. Just something to think about.

PS: Also, as a product of the American education system, I can say that what they teach us (after the "believing in Santa Claus" years, anyway) is that we would've been totally boned without the French. Just something else to think about.

PPS: Aaand you can't really claim that Connor is supposed to represent American(That is, colonial American) achievement, as he's half British and half Native American. AND the developers claim that he has enemies and allies on both sides of the war. (Meaning American Templars and British Assassins) So it's not "America Good, British Bad". But even if it was, it wouldn't matter, because the developers aren't actually American. So we can't be blamed for whatever the Canadians come up with.

Double post. Ignore.

Daystar Clarion:
I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more!

Ho there! America, fetch your fighting trousers at once!

It wasn't catchy, shut up, I hated it >_>

This wins rap of the year, all years.

The rap itself was mediocre but the video was hilarious. Something about the 'mad serial killer' face while chopping up carrots.

haha..this was actually pretty good

Falterfire:
The rap itself was mediocre but the video was hilarious. Something about the 'mad serial killer' face while chopping up carrots.

It easnt too bad..a little auto tuned but very listenable

Daystar Clarion:
I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more!

Ho there! America, fetch your fighting trousers at once!

It wasn't catchy, shut up, I hated it >_>

i completely agree it was pretty bad.

on a side note i love that song by professor elemental.
if you like that song you should look up Mr.B's song just like a chap

Nice too see you Yanks trying your hand at this thing we call culture...

But as you can see the brits have beat you too it.

Tally Ho! I'm off for a scone and a cuppa

Watching this video made me realize something. There's absolutely nothing about Connor's character that doesn't bring this picture to mind:

image

I really don't know if I can bring myself to play the game now.

6th And Silver:

Kinguendo:
Thought you played as a Native American in Assassins Creed III... funny that he sides with the group that nearly wipe them from the face of the planet. Realism is realistic in how real it is.

But seriously guys, yeah... we get it. You like to fixate on being considered less important than beating France(Yes, that is why America beat the British Empire.), personally I would focus my efforts on my own achievements but whatever.

Actually, the developers are based in Montreal, Quebec. Which is in Canada, not the United States. And the official language is French. Just something to think about.

PS: Also, as a product of the American education system, I can say that what they teach us (after the "believing in Santa Claus" years, anyway) is that we would've been totally boned without the French. Just something else to think about.

PPS: Aaand you can't really claim that Connor is supposed to represent American(That is, colonial American) achievement, as he's half British and half Native American. AND the developers claim that he has enemies and allies on both sides of the war. (Meaning American Templars and British Assassins) So it's not "America Good, British Bad". But even if it was, it wouldn't matter, because the developers aren't actually American. So we can't be blamed for whatever the Canadians come up with.

Yeah, see, the devs have been claiming that pretty much since the announcement, but we've yet to see any actual fucking evidence of it, while we have seen lots of pictures of Connor hatcheting redcoats in the face while the American flag waves patriotically in the background, and gameplay demos where Connor hatchets some more redcoats in the face, and lets not forget the gameplay demos of redcoats acting like Mafia thugs until Connor Saves The Day(tm) by hatcheting them in the face. I've still not seen any Yank soliders getting all rapey with the natives until Connor sweeps in to Save The Day(tm) by hatcheting them in the face.

As for Americans getting blame, it's not about blame, it's about developers vacantly indulging a delusional interpretation of history in order to pander to a profitable demographic; young white American males who are ignorant of historical events.

Yeah, that rap was pretty poor I thought. Auto-tuning is never pleasant and the actual flow of the rap was broken and awkward. The George Washington verse was actually done well, though, I thought. I did find it kind of funny though, particularly the carrot-chopping, and Washington's spin kick in the final sequence :D

Ultimately, not really all that good. Better gaming rappers exist - Dan Bull's already been posted in this thread, and even Miracle of Sound rapped better in his Blood of the Creed song, and with more clever lyrics and more impressive music. Do try again, Smosh, the other side of the pond is beating you.

These games are getting even more stupid if that's at all possible. Watch out for aliens, Nazis and zombies in the next installment.

Well that was unentertaining! I know I'm all giddy for the next AC so am prone to watch anything that may have something to do with it, but that was just... pants!
(Trying not to swear whilst babysitting nephew, normal service will resume soon!)

Mr Mystery Guest:
These games are getting even more stupid if that's at all possible. Watch out for aliens, Nazis and zombies in the next installment.

Explain yourself!

You can't say that something is becoming more stupid on a thread discussing a 3rd party mock rap without a reason!

As such, this applies!
image

At first I was like...no, but then it got into my brain and now I'm like yeah!

Daystar Clarion:
I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more!

Ho there! America, fetch your fighting trousers at once!

It wasn't catchy, shut up, I hated it >_>

Wow, thanks for posting this or I may have never found it.

I love the gangnam style in there anyone else catch that?

800,000 views in one day? I... just... yeah. I'm gonna go sulk in the corner and feel jealous now, lol.

NinjaDeathSlap:

Daystar Clarion:
I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more!

Ho there! America, fetch your fighting trousers at once!

It wasn't catchy, shut up, I hated it >_>

This wins rap of the year, all years.

I don't know, I preferred the tea song.

Mr Mystery Guest:
These games are getting even more stupid if that's at all possible. Watch out for aliens, Nazis and zombies in the next installment.

Oh, I find the conspiracy/sci-fi elements kind of endearing. Reminds me of Deus Ex's insistence that every conspiracy is true. Especially the ones about...lemon-lime drinks.

6th And Silver:

Kinguendo:
Thought you played as a Native American in Assassins Creed III... funny that he sides with the group that nearly wipe them from the face of the planet. Realism is realistic in how real it is.

But seriously guys, yeah... we get it. You like to fixate on being considered less important than beating France(Yes, that is why America beat the British Empire.), personally I would focus my efforts on my own achievements but whatever.

Actually, the developers are based in Montreal, Quebec. Which is in Canada, not the United States. And the official language is French. Just something to think about.

PS: Also, as a product of the American education system, I can say that what they teach us (after the "believing in Santa Claus" years, anyway) is that we would've been totally boned without the French. Just something else to think about.

PPS: Aaand you can't really claim that Connor is supposed to represent American(That is, colonial American) achievement, as he's half British and half Native American. AND the developers claim that he has enemies and allies on both sides of the war. (Meaning American Templars and British Assassins) So it's not "America Good, British Bad". But even if it was, it wouldn't matter, because the developers aren't actually American. So we can't be blamed for whatever the Canadians come up with.

Luckily for me I clearly wasnt talking to Ubisoft as I posted my comment here on a thread about a YouTube video by NOT Ubisoft or I might have to write more than this.

Kinguendo:

Luckily for me I clearly wasnt talking to Ubisoft as I posted my comment here on a thread about a YouTube video by NOT Ubisoft or I might have to write more than this.

Well THAT makes even less sense then your first post. You were clearly complaining about the game's plot, which was written by Ubisoft, not the guys who made this video. I guess the American criticism is SORT of valid, as the guys in the video are American, but they're obviously not being serious, so the complaint still seems pretty misplaced to me.

Video was quite funny. The rap was pretty poor, IMO.

maninahat:

I don't know, I preferred the tea song.

Don't mention tea, the septics'll be on about Boston next(!!!)

Pip, pip, toodle-oo me old chum etc etc...

image
So long as the series stays historically accurate, I don't give a toss which side the Assassins/Templars are on. So long as we get a Caterina Sforza-type character (awesome lady, and that rant is one of my favourite moments in the series!)

6th And Silver:

Kinguendo:

Luckily for me I clearly wasnt talking to Ubisoft as I posted my comment here on a thread about a YouTube video by NOT Ubisoft or I might have to write more than this.

Well THAT makes even less sense then your first post. You were clearly complaining about the game's plot, which was written by Ubisoft, not the guys who made this video. I guess the American criticism is SORT of valid, as the guys in the video are American, but they're obviously not being serious, so the complaint still seems pretty misplaced to me.

Was I talking about the plot? As I have not played the game... and you have not played the game... how did you come to that conclusion? My basis is off of the pieces I have seen, all of it fairly one-sided regarding the protagonists allegiances. And given these are supposed to be the games selling points...

Kinguendo:

6th And Silver:

Kinguendo:

Luckily for me I clearly wasnt talking to Ubisoft as I posted my comment here on a thread about a YouTube video by NOT Ubisoft or I might have to write more than this.

Well THAT makes even less sense then your first post. You were clearly complaining about the game's plot, which was written by Ubisoft, not the guys who made this video. I guess the American criticism is SORT of valid, as the guys in the video are American, but they're obviously not being serious, so the complaint still seems pretty misplaced to me.

Was I talking about the plot? As I have not played the game... and you have not played the game... how did you come to that conclusion? My basis is off of the pieces I have seen, all of it fairly one-sided regarding the protagonists allegiances. And given these are supposed to be the games selling points...

image

Yes. The protagonist and his alliances. Both of which are elements of the plot. Which is exactly what you were talking about.

Are we done here?

Kinguendo:

6th And Silver:

Yes. The protagonist and his alliances. Both of which are elements of the plot. Which is exactly what you were talking about.

Are we done here?

How old are you?!

Is English your first language?

I need to know you are old enough and understand the things you are saying before you subject yourself to the barrage below.

Ah, I see we've reached the "Random Name-Calling" stage of the disagreement. Good to know. Nonetheless, I will go against my better judgement and continue in this spirited debate of wills.

I'm going to summarize our little disagreement in the form of a script. Tell me where I'm getting it wrong.

And here we are. If you feel I've misunderstood any of your arguments, please feel free to correct me.

Mr Mystery Guest:
These games are getting even more stupid if that's at all possible. Watch out for aliens, Nazis and zombies in the next installment.

I can easily see Nazi's being in one of the games.

MiracleOfSound:
800,000 views in one day? I... just... yeah. I'm gonna go sulk in the corner and feel jealous now, lol.

Don't worry bro, your one is tons better.

Kinguendo:
Thought you played as a Native American in Assassins Creed III... funny that he sides with the group that nearly wipe them from the face of the planet. Realism is realistic in how real it is.

But seriously guys, yeah... we get it. You like to fixate on being considered less important than beating France(Yes, that is why America beat the British Empire.), personally I would focus my efforts on my own achievements but whatever.

To be fair many of the Mohawk did actually side with the Americans in the revolution. Though more either stayed neurtal or sided British which didn't go well for most of the tribe later. Basically there choice was group of white people who are somtimes our allies and sometimes our enemies, or the other group of white people who were the same until they decided to wear a diffrent color. Most either decided it wasn't worth intervening in a conflict they had no stake in or chose the side they had treaties with over the newer side.

6th And Silver:
So it's not "America Good, British Bad". But even if it was, it wouldn't matter, because the developers aren't actually American. So we can't be blamed for whatever the Canadians come up with.

Wouldn't matter? I'd say it would! Missing out on the chance to have a decent, more complex story in favour of "FUCK YEAH 'MURRICA" to increase U.S. sales? I'd consider myself robbed of an interesting story, like AC 1 where there was good and evil on both sides, and the game would be robbed of it's potential.

Trust me, I have no issue with killing virtual Brits, after all it's only a game, I just want a more interesting story. And hopefully an informative one. Over in Blighty we don't learn about the revolutionary war, at least not below GCSE level, so this game interests me greatly. I liked history in school but preferred other things so didn't take it further. If memory serves the French fought on the side of the revolutionaries so hopefully I get to dish out some punishment to those cheese eating surrender monkeys!

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