Goatse.cx Returns! As an Email Provider

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Goatse.cx Returns! As an Email Provider

image

The internet's most notorious shock site will add a little bit of pizazz to your boring email address.

Tired of people opening the emails you send them? An Australian IT consultant has just the thing. The consultant, who wishes to remain anonymous, paid $10,200 for the notorious domain back in 2008. He's now trying to recoup some of that well-spent money by offering @goatse.cx email addresses for $5 a year.

Established in 1999, Goatse was known mostly as the host of Hello.jpg, a picture of an extreme penetration practitioner known as "Kirk Johnson" stretching his anal sphincter to roughly the size of a cantaloupe, exposing the contents of his rectum to the world. While gazing into this tiny universe of horror, one can't help but think of the dire warning Nietzche left for us in Beyond Good and Evil. "And when you gaze long into an abyss," he wrote, "the abyss also gazes into you." The same goes for unnaturally distended arseholes.

Naturally, web users felt the need to subject their fellow human beings to the image. After it was hosted on goatse.cx, tricking people into visiting the site quickly became an international pastime. In 2004, the government of the Christmas Islands decided it had enough of being associated with the image and booted goatse.cx off the .cx domain. In 2008, our unnamed Australian bought the site from its Canadian owner on a late-night whim.

In honor of Johnson and his unique talent, the owner of the site has reserved the kirk@Goatse.cx email address for his use.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to link goatse.cx as the source of an article. This is a watershed for me, I'm going to savor it.

Source: www.goatse.cx

Permalink

Still better than aol.
But why did I get this e-mail titled "guess what I had for breakfast this morning"?

Source is broken. ;__;

That said, WHY

WHY

WHY

I guess it's one way to salvage a website, but MAN, can you say "failed job interviews"?

Thank God I waited until I finished eating my lunch ( I was eating oatmeal) before I proceeded into this.

Why did they think it was a good idea?

I thought it was agreed upon to never bring this...thing back into relevancy.

Now I'm going to have to trick all my friends into reluctantly going to goatse.cx.

lacktheknack:
Source is broken. ;__;

Fix'd! I feel like we're a part of something bigger then all of us today.

dang it, Goatse doesn't load for me... I don't think I've ever said that.

You would link it.

At work.

Must not click...

I'm not touching that link. I just can't. It's tempting to look into the abyss, but I'm just not strong enough...

I can't think of a more perfect email provider for nagging site registrations.

This may well be the best news article you've written, Grey.

Kross:

lacktheknack:
Source is broken. ;__;

Fix'd! I feel like we're a part of something bigger then all of us today.

Good man! Everyone deserve the Goatse.

i am not clicking anything on this page... shit, how do i exit?

Grey Carter:
While gazing into this tiny universe of horror, one can't help but think of the dire warning Freidrich Nietzche left for us in Beyond Good and Evil. "And when you gaze long into an abyss," he wrote, "the abyss also gazes into you." The same goes for unnaturally distended arseholes.

Oh Gods damned I pissed myself laughing so hard over this line my gf thinks I've finially gone off the deep end.

Carter never change, you magnificent soul.

OT: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why pay so much for this?

I'm too terrified to click any of those links. I don't really believe you would directly link me to a picture of a stretched arsehole, but still, I'm too scared.

Fappy:
You would link it.

At work.

Must not click...

I hear that! I always say that once you watch something, some things can't be unwatched.

Also is it just me or is the does Goatse.cx read as "goat sex"?

I thought this article was just an elaborate prank. Don't worry guys, oddly enough it's safe.

this can only be a trap, but why can't i click away

this is going to be funny!

dont open that e-mail!
which one?
any one of them!
*click* OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Kross:

lacktheknack:
Source is broken. ;__;

Fix'd! I feel like we're a part of something bigger then all of us today.

yes, you "fixed" it.

you devious devil, you!

Didn't read the name of the author of this article, still knew it was Grey.

Upon reading that article you linked I found this: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:znthO9JdTq8J:www.goatse.info/mail.html+&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

and amoung that there was this gem

Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 09:28:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: Frightstar
Subject: u are god

Man, dude, there is this one channel on dalnet called #anarchy where we like just fucking worship your goatse.cx page. we send like every lamer to that page whenever they ask us how to make bombs n' shit. I doubt you will but im gonna make a request for it anyway. If you could set up an email server and i could have a frighter@goatse.cx you would be god. i would worship you with all of my heart. I will pose for you.

ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES!!!
The Frightstar

LOL

Can't wait to get my email @meatspin.com

Captcha: fast and loose

I'm going to let this one pass and not check your source.

Fun fact: I had never been subjected to Goatse.cx before.

At the time, I assumed it was "Goat sex" - ie, people having sex with goats - and just ignored the link. However, reading this article, I said to myself "damn - a cantaloupe? Really? This I have to see!"

And so I did. Yes, only two easy clicks and I saw the image that shook the world. My reaction?

You could not fit a cantaloupe in there! A Kiwi, sure. An apple, probably. A mango, maybe. But nothing in the melon family. Really, people, do you have any idea how large a cantaloupe is?

Mr. Kirk Johnson is impressive, don't get me wrong. But a cantaloupe? No way.

Bara_no_Hime:
Fun fact: I had never been subjected to Goatse.cx before.

At the time, I assumed it was "Goat sex" - ie, people having sex with goats - and just ignored the link. However, reading this article, I said to myself "damn - a cantaloupe? Really? This I have to see!"

And so I did. Yes, only two easy clicks and I saw the image that shook the world. My reaction?

You could not fit a cantaloupe in there! A Kiwi, sure. An apple, probably. A mango, maybe. But nothing in the melon family. Really, people, do you have any idea how large a cantaloupe is?

Mr. Kirk Johnson is impressive, don't get me wrong. But a cantaloupe? No way.

*stops eating apple* Why do I keep reading this thread?

I must admit I thought the same as you because I know how big a cantaloupe is. However there was no way I was checking out the link.

I feel like my email address would be left WIDE OPEN to attack!

So, the pop culture of yest-year on the internet is now being capitalized on for fun and profit. Art imitating life.

Programmed_For_Damage:
*stops eating apple* Why do I keep reading this thread?

I must admit I thought the same as you because I know how big a cantaloupe is. However there was no way I was checking out the link.

Did I spoil your snack? Sorry.

Well, no, not sorry - highly amused. :D

And actually you have to click at least two links to get there - Mr. Carter didn't link directly to porn, as that would be against forum rules. Instead he linked to a page that has the link to the infamous picture.

But yeah, while impressive you certainly couldn't get a cantaloupe in there. That's actually why I clicked the link - I just had to see if it was really that wide. It's not.

The man's name was Friedrich. Just sayin'...

Programmed_For_Damage:

Fappy:
You would link it.

At work.

Must not click...

I hear that! I always say that once you watch something, some things can't be unwatched.

Also is it just me or is the does Goatse.cx read as "goat sex"?

Cannot be unread

Btw everyone, the link is safe.

Never understood how people could be tricked into visiting a site called "goatsecx". Or why the owner decided it made more sense to treat those people to an image of a giant anus instead of... you know, goat sex. Was it meant to be a bait-and-switch for people who are looking for a site about goat sex? Was the domain just chosen because the owner thought it was funny?

I probably shouldn't be thinking this hard about it. He clearly didn't.

I think it's save to say this email service will be complete ass.

Bara_no_Hime:
Mr. Kirk Johnson is impressive, don't get me wrong. But a cantaloupe? No way.

I don't think a cantaloupe is possible. I may be wrong, but I haven't seen any evidence.

OT: I wonder how Mr Carter came across this story...

Bara_no_Hime:

Programmed_For_Damage:
*stops eating apple* Why do I keep reading this thread?

I must admit I thought the same as you because I know how big a cantaloupe is. However there was no way I was checking out the link.

Did I spoil your snack? Sorry.

Well, no, not sorry - highly amused. :D

And actually you have to click at least two links to get there - Mr. Carter didn't link directly to porn, as that would be against forum rules. Instead he linked to a page that has the link to the infamous picture.

But yeah, while impressive you certainly couldn't get a cantaloupe in there. That's actually why I clicked the link - I just had to see if it was really that wide. It's not.

Actually I saw that you were the last person to comment on the thread before I clicked on it and I thought "this should be good value" (you're reputation proceeds you - in a good way). I often snack on apples at work so it was just bad timing on my behalf.

I once happened to click on the website of a woman known as Latex Angel. Some of those images stayed with me for a long, long time; so I wasn't overly keen to check out Kirk Johnson's "work".

Oh Internet, you cruel, twisted Mistress.

I...

I uh..

(must not click...)

dammit Grey!

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here