North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real

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North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real

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Archaeologists from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea have discovered the lair of a unicorn ridden by the founder of the ancient Koguryo Kingdom.

Koguryo (also Goguryeo or Kokuryo) was an ancient Korean kingdom that spanned the northern and central Korean Peninsula, as well as parts of China and Russia, until its fall in 668 CE. It was founded, according to the Korean Central News Agency of DPRK, in 277 BC by King Tongmyong. And it turns out that King Tongmyong was a serious, certifiable badass - because King Tongmyong rode a unicorn.

Archaeologists from the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have "reconfirmed" the discovery of a lair of the unicorn ridden by the ancient king, which is located 200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Moran Hill, Pyongyang City. They know it's a unicorn lair because a rectangular rock with the words "Unicorn Lair" carved into it stands out front. The scientists believe the words date back to the Koryo Kingdom, which existed from 918 to 1392 CE.

"Korea's history books deal with the unicorn, considered to be ridden by King Tongmyong, and its lair," History Institute Director Jo Hui Sung said in a statement. "The Sogyong (Pyongyang) chapter of the old book Koryo History, said, 'Ulmil Pavilion is on the top of Mt. Kumsu, with Yongmyong Temple, one of Pyongyang's eight scenic spots, beneath it. The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn.' The old book Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam (Revised Handbook of Korean Geography) complied in the 16th century wrote that there is a lair west of Pubyok Pavilion in Mt. Kumsu."

The discovery of the lair, he added, "proves that [North Korean capital] Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom." That, of course, is the point: demonstrating some ancient, handed-down-from-the-gods claim of legitimacy on the Korean "kingdom." And you know what? That's good enough for me. I love science!

Source: Korean News

(horn)

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Can't argue with that logic.

All hail Kim Jong-Unicorn!

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

How the hell do you even pronounce that? It looks like someone let the cat walk across their keyboard.

That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

I told them! I told them all but they all said I was crazy. Now I have scientific proof!

I knew those North Koreans were smarter than they were letting on!

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

I think the ancient mongol empire rode them into battle.

I'm surprised the head of this so called group of scientists isn't actually Eric Idle. I'm expecting them to play the liberty bell march at the formal announcement.

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

Well Lady Rainicorn does speak Korean I think, so this is totally plausible. I mean it was labeled "Unicorn Lair" after all.

(This is getting kind of pathetic though, mostly because I think they actually expect people to believe their bullshit.)

Well then.

Now they just have to get the unicorns to make Un win the TIME person of the year contest and North Korea will be set!

CJ1145:
Can't argue with that logic.

All hail Kim Jong-Unicorn!

I'm so glad that the pun I was thinking of was used in the first reply :D

So, yes, praise be to the Glorious Leader, Kim Jong-Unicorn!

So THAT's why everything is so grey and bleak over in North Korea: they're in the Twilight Zone!

That's what I kept telling 'em. Unicorns were real and they were ridden by badasses. Now who's the crazy one?

Also, I agree with Kopikatsu; how the hell do you pronounce Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

This seems legit.

I want them to investigate dragons next please!

So, wait, let me get this straight, Communists, who strongly believe that Religion is the Opiate of the masses and strongly believe that monarchy is a terrible idea, are trying to claim they're right about... something... by claiming they're... somehow connected... to a Monarchy which claimed it had the consent of God? Through Unicorns?

Well, I guess it isn't out of character, anyhow. Good to see Lil' Kim's living up to Daddy's legacy.

DVS BSTrD:
So THAT's why everything is so grey and bleak over in North Korea: they're in the Twilight Zone!

Now don't overdo it with your Fancy Pants puns. The Rarity of them is what keeps them funny.

You gotta love the logic (or lack thereof) behind this:

"Oh hey, I found a sign that references unicorns! That must mean they exist!"

It's like an archeologist from the far future believing Xenomorphs are real after unearthing an old DVD of Alien.

Haha! That's funny.

I might go to Egypt and carve 'Tutankhamun woz ere' into one of their pyramids.

Uh... I am really left speechless by this
I seriously don't know what to make of it.

Well...I...suppose that the absence of evidence isn't necessarily proof that they're wrong...sort of.

Besides Lady Rainicorn and all her little "corndog" puppies exist so sure, the North Koreans had unicorns, I'll buy it.

zdog jr:

TizzytheTormentor:
That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!


Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

I think the ancient mongol empire rode them into battle.

Well of course, that is what the mongol ghost king told me.

ALL HAIL THE GHOST KING!!!

MiskWisk:
Uh... I am really left speechless by this
I seriously don't know what to make of it.

It's a brilliant tourism hook for North Korea.

Seriously, they'll get families of little girls (and bronies) flocking in from all over the world to see the 'land of the unicorns'.

It's genius!

This is absolutely wonderful. Now I need to start making conspiracy theories about how Lil' Kim isn't truly in charge and that North Korea is run by a secret council of unicorns.

Well... uh...

Well...

Uh...

Whatnow?

So this is how they respond that Onion article, oh North Korea, it's so cute when you try.

Cool story comrade.

Now tell me the one about your dad and basketball.

lax4life:
This is absolutely wonderful. Now I need to start making conspiracy theories about how Lil' Kim isn't truly in charge and that North Korea is run by a secret council of unicorns.

Wait, Lil'Kim runs Korea?!?!

This changes everything!

Yeah I bet. I wonder if they'll let real scientists look at the discovery. I'm guessing No.

UNCORNS!!
Are you fu***** kidding me!!!????

FIND THE DRAGONS FFS!!

Ickabod:
So this is how they respond that Onion article, oh North Korea, it's so cute when you try.

North Korea is basically on entire nation united under parody.
Like the time they tried to dig tunnels under the delimitarized zone and when discovered said it must have been natural caves. With... somehow naturally occuring North Korean banners with slogans and all. Then they changed their position to a misdirected coal tunnel and to support the claim quickly painted some walls black. They are also really big in the coal mining business.

They have to be all in on this. It's a whole country of jokers spending all their free time laughing about how the whole west believed they were totally insane.

Quaxar:

They have to be all in on this. It's a whole country of jokers spending all their free time laughing about how the whole west believed they were totally insane.

The sad part is: it's actually half a dozen of psychopaths insane enough to make you believe it's the entire country. Hell, the head of their national news agency is related to the Kim clan...

Yeah, unicorns are cool and all. But can they hard-counter a cannon rush off a forge fast-expand?

Did the lair of the unicorn look like this?;

...oh North Korea, why are you so North Korea?

When I first saw thus I thought they detonated a nuke and some horse got a mutation from the fallout. Oh North Korea you so crazy.

Andy Chalk:
Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam

I found a typo. That cannot be a real word...

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