Here Comes the Virtual Reality Porn for the Oculus Rift

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So now I can watch Plumbers Don't Wear Ties in 3D? Cool.

Jerram Fahey:
The only problem I foresee is like what's going on in Japan right now - no one is interested in making babies anymore and it's becoming a nation of old farts. Their problems are rooted more in cultural retardation than too much porn though, so who knows if there'd be a similar effect elsewhere.

The country where the health minister refers to women as "baby-making machines" has social problems relating to gender? SHOCKING! Porn's the least of their worries.

There was an interesting post on Reddit where a guy described what the "average" Japanese man's life looked like. Shame the moderators deleted it, even if it was a bit of an exaggeration. Still accessible from the guy's user page though. But here's the idea:

  • Spend years of your life studying your ass off before school, during school, after school, 7 days a week so you can do well on the entry exams for the best colleges.
  • Spend your senior year of college wearing a suit and job hunting, attending dozens of monotonous seminars and taking more exams, in the hopes that you can get a low paying entry level job at a well known firm (like a Toyota).
  • Slave away for 3-5 years, making $20-40K and working 80 hours a week. Go on forced drinking excursions only to be physically, verbally, and often sexually harassed by your seniors who you actually hate but pretend to like in public.
  • Live at home until you're 30 because you don't make enough to move out.
  • Finally get promoted to sub-middle-manager as you approach 30. Go on a bunch of forced group dates so you can finally get laid and settle for the plain jane over in accounting.
  • Get married to plain jane (who secretly resents that you don't make enough money for her to buy Coach bags) and move into a shithole apartment in the suburbs of Tokyo.
  • Spend the next ten years working 80 hours a week, going bald, and sleeping with hookers on business trips. You'll develop a pretty serious drinking problem while your wife sleeps with her high school sweetheart when you're out of town.
  • Finally get promoted to middle-manager and make decent money. Now you can afford to buy a shithole apartment in the suburbs. Enjoy your two hour commute on a packed train every day while you contemplate suicide.
  • Pop out one kid (because that's all you can afford) now that you're in your early 40s. Look forward to raising them to be just as miserable as you because "that's just the way things are."
  • Finally retire when you're in your upper 60s and enjoy life for a bit before you die of cancer.

Is it any wonder people don't want to do that anymore?

EHKOS:
The biggest problem is that they can't actually touch me. So the pic up there of her touching my face? Not gonna feel it. Immersion ruined.

Not necessarily.

They have reactive attachments for it.

Doesn't help that attachments would be bulky compared everything else. I can't help but find it as a novelty that will eventually become bankrupt.

Kumagawa Misogi:
NOOOOOOOO I can't find a clip of Lister from Red Dwarf having sex in a total-immersion video game or one with Rimmer's great line "you're like a dog missing its masters leg"

Right here! Start at 5:20

EDIT: The New Youtube can suck my dick!

The Artificially Prolonged:
The only thing I'm surprised about is that it took them until now to suggest porn for it.

(we already had multiuser 3d porn communities 10+ years ago :-) )

And now that we do 3d chat using kinect (so you get a 3d model of the actual user instead of some avatar), I let to the imagination creative ways it's used as well.

I find that incredibly sad. The part about porn spearheading technology that is.

Formica Archonis:

Jerram Fahey:
The only problem I foresee is like what's going on in Japan right now - no one is interested in making babies anymore and it's becoming a nation of old farts. Their problems are rooted more in cultural retardation than too much porn though, so who knows if there'd be a similar effect elsewhere.

The country where the health minister refers to women as "baby-making machines" has social problems relating to gender? SHOCKING! Porn's the least of their worries.

Yeah... that's kinda what I said.

Guffe:
Isn't it going to be kind of weird when you're banging a chick but all the moaning voices are made by a dude?
I just gave myself the most horrible mental breakdown ever -.-

why would a male moan during sex?

saintdane05:
So now I can watch Plumbers Don't Wear Ties in 3D? Cool.

That "game" wasn't FMV :P Well, except for the intro. I wouldn't mind watching that intro in 3D...

sure, sure that ahhhhhhh that sound lovly.......i have to go now

*slowly back away and prepares cellphone to call the nearest metal hospital*

So there's a brand of Freudian thought that all humans have two drives: sex and aggression.

It's nice to see videogaming lending some Freud some credibility.

But I don't understand the Puritanical hand-wringing over this. If it turns out great, GREAT! And the naysayers will likely come around to its uses. If it flops, well, no harm done.

VR Pr0n?!

While I'd probably never use the Oculus Rift VR headset for this, I could certainly see others enjoying this item.

jbm1986:
While I'd probably never use the Oculus Rift VR headset for this, I could certainly see others enjoying this item.

I hope not in person. Watching someone salivate and writhe while pitching a massive sausage tent with a plastic plank taped to their face just seems voyeuristic and weird. ;)

----

On topic, I find it strangely freshing how upfront people are being about the marketing and reporting.

Strazdas:

Guffe:
Isn't it going to be kind of weird when you're banging a chick but all the moaning voices are made by a dude?
I just gave myself the most horrible mental breakdown ever -.-

why would a male moan during sex?

Everyone who plays MMOs aren't always their own sex either...
You know...
I had already forgotten about this thread -.-
Now the images are back in my head -.-

Well, I'm already a shut-in, now I don't even have to worry about sex amirite?!

No? Okay...

I wouldn't buy this, there's plenty of free porn easily accessible online to account for almost all tastes. Virtual reality is going a little too far when there are millions of actual women out there.

This is just sad.

Andy Shandy:

Guffe:
Isn't it going to be kind of weird when you're banging a chick but all the moaning voices are made by a dude?
I just gave myself the most horrible mental breakdown ever -.-

image

You know, I'm sure I had some sort of insightful or hilarious comment to make before I saw this comment, but now I have I think my mind just went "NOPE!" and got itself the hell out.

Anyway it was almost inevitable that something like this was going to happen.

I am bookmarking this, king of gifs.

Also in other news: Japanese Anime version incoming.

"Porn embraced the VHS videotape format, and so Sony's betamax went the way of the dodo. "
Pretty sure I was always told Philips and Sony hated the idea of porn on their far superior tech, and that indeed killed them off completely, as only the perviest (appearantly) wanted en-masse to shell two grand for those magic boxes in the super-early adopter phase...

antipunt:

Also in other news: Japanese Anime version incoming.

Well animation is by it's very nature 2D. Unless they do some like cell shaded stuff to make 3D models look like 2D animation.

Boy, was this article written by a woman?

Oh boy, I sure am surprised!

(not really)

NinjaDeathSlap:
The dead eyes. Oh God, the dead eyes!

No, just no. Porn is fine as a visual medium, but virtual reality will never be able to compare to the real thing, and the harder they try the less appealing it seems to me. If you're that desperate for a realistic experience then just go and get laid for God's sake. We don't need any more excuses to become a species of anti-social shut in's.

That's not entirely fair. You could say the same thing about shooters or GTA, so it's probably just as well that people stay indoors and restrict themselves to fantasy worlds. Hell, it's like when people complain that Guitar Hero players should go out play real guitars; as though most people can just pick up a real guitar and play awesome songs without the inconvenience of having to invest years of practise or a complete lack of talent.

As for the OT: they do indeed look dead eyed and freakish. It's a missed opportunity when they could have just as easily gone for a more stylised, cartoon look - or considering the popularity of rule 34, the use of porn "parodies" of actual cartoon characters.

Unless someone manages to work the feeling of touch and warmth into this virtual reality, I remain unimpressed.

Sylveria:
I find it amusing how many people are obviously lying about their interest. Kinda like how almost no one admits they watch porn yet it makes billions of dollars a year. Someone's buying and watching the stuff, and it's not just the 13yr olds.

I think you've missed the part where this is about computer generated porn. While there is a market for that, it's a hell of a lot smaller than the market for porn involving real people.

As it is, I'm really not sure I see the point. The Oculus Rift will presumably be able to play video. It's ultimately just a couple of monitors placed closer to your eyes than normal after all. So why would there be any need for special Oculus Rift cartoon porn when you'll already be able to watch all existing porn?

I'm excited about the oculus rift, but OcuPorn? With adolescent glee I tried out a bunch of different erotic games back in the day but always they bring an adolescent attitude of their own that always makes them seem primitive and uninviting. Yeah no thanks, natural idea but don't think it'll catch on.

Don't knock it just yet, Tito. If they can get models on par with, let's say, the latest DOA or SoulCalibur games, I can see that being quite enticing indeed. At least, to their target audience.

Unfortunately, it looks like they're making the mistake of trying to cross the uncanny valley so they can rise up the other side, when they should be trying to hit the peak immediately preceding the valley.

If this product is going to succeed, it's going to be on the market of people who want to simulate banging Tifa from FF7 or Ivy from SC. Not a 3D model that looks like a real woman (that's what regular porn is for).

AldUK:
Virtual reality is going a little too far when there are millions of actual women out there.

Yes, plenty of actual women who can get pregnant by, contract diseases from, and be emotionally damaged by men who only want them for their bodies.

The way I see it, having a physical relationship with a woman is best when it complements a strong emotional relationship. If you have a girl who's all about being "friends with benefits" or whatever, that's fine, but the idea that if a man wants to have sex he should just go out and get some is one I think we're way too cavalier about (certainly in the US, anyway).

At the end of the day, I'm not going to judge how other people live their lives, as long as they're not hurting anyone. However, considering the prevelance of men whose only reason for existing is getting their rocks off, regardless of the consequences, I think you almost can't go far enough with virtual reality.

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