Cracked Aquarium Launches Sharks at Shoppers

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Cracked Aquarium Launches Sharks at Shoppers

A cracked shark tank has left fifteen shoppers injured and three sharks dead.

The logic behind putting an aquarium in a shopping center is simple: People like to look at fish. Give them a pleasant place to do it and add a few shops, and the rest pretty much takes care of itself. Filling your tank with sharks instead of tropical fish is also pretty reasonable: People like sharks - at least when they're separated by a few inches of thick glass. Remove the glass, though, and you've got a problem, as a number of shoppers - and sharks - discovered in the most unpleasant way possible a few days ago. A cracked aquarium at a shopping center in Shanghai unleashed a torrent of shark-infested water on a number of unsuspecting consumers, leaving fifteen people injured and depriving the aquarium of three sharks.

Security cameras captured the whole sordid affair, which began innocently enough, with four shark aficionados enjoying the view before being swept away in a deluge of broken glass and saltwater. The remaining patrons evacuated to higher ground, while a few brave souls ventured back towards the installation to photograph the unfortunate sharks. Three of these lemon sharks succumbed to either injury or asphyxiation. While no shoppers died, fifteen were hurt - at least four, presumably, by concussive force.

This event is likely to go down as something of a footnote in local Shanghai history, but at least it'll be something for those present to tell their grandkids. "Did I ever tell you about the time that a shark came flying at me on land?" If this story has a moral, I'll be damned if I can figure it out, but just be careful the next time you visit a shark tank. As any good diver knows, the environment is a much bigger threat to you than the sharks themselves. Now, let us share a moment of silence for these three perfect killing machines.

Source: YouTube

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This sounds like the injuries were due only to the the glass and water, not the sharks. That much water and glass being thrown at people would be just as harmful if it contained sea bass, even if they were not mutated or ill-tempered.

McMullen:
This sounds like the injuries were due only to the the glass and water, not the sharks. That much water and glass being thrown at people would be just as harmful if it contained sea bass, even if they were not mutated or ill-tempered.

Yeah it is a bit sad to see such headline-behavior on the Escapist.
I am not calling out a case of KOTAKU just yet (i was there when it all went down pretty fast. X-( ) but it is still a bit sad.

...Why would you use the word "launches"? I just imagined a shark propelling it's self out the aquarium as though shot by a cannon.

"So I went to the shop to get a tin of Tuna, imagine my surprise when I came home with a shark!"

Oh I can see it now...

Is this shopping centre a front for a Bond villain or is that just how they deal with shop lifters there? Because I cannot think of another reason for them having a shark aquarium.

Riobux:
...Why would you use the word "launches"? I just imagined a shark propelling it's self out the aquarium as though shot by a cannon.

Perhaps it was some daring escape attempt by the sharks that was not properly thought through.

Could have been worse...

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:
...Why would you use the word "launches"? I just imagined a shark propelling it's self out the aquarium as though shot by a cannon.

Perhaps it was some daring escape attempt by the sharks that was not properly thought through.

"Awright. What we do is we slam into the glass a few times over night until the glass is weaken, and then during the thickest crowd we can, we'll slam into the glass lightly, enough to smash it. Then, it's up to you guys to launch yourself as hard as possible into the customers, try to go for the head, or at least the chest. Once our captivators are dead, we'll escape."

And sadly, it didn't kill any shoppers.

Heh, don't tap on the glass.

See, this is why aquariums of sharks are a bad idea... unless you're a Bond villain or something...

Reading that article is certainly a relief. From the title I understood that somehow Cracked.com had acquired an underwater ballista and several sea predators. Not that I wouldn't put it past them...

josemlopes:
Could have been worse...

I watched all 4 minutes waiting for it to crack. Really disappointing, would not recommend.

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:
...Why would you use the word "launches"? I just imagined a shark propelling it's self out the aquarium as though shot by a cannon.

Perhaps it was some daring escape attempt by the sharks that was not properly thought through.

"Awright. What we do is we slam into the glass a few times over night until the glass is weaken, and then during the thickest crowd we can, we'll slam into the glass lightly, enough to smash it. Then, it's up to you guys to launch yourself as hard as possible into the customers, try to go for the head, or at least the chest. Once our captivators are dead, we'll escape."

And sadly, it didn't kill any shoppers.

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Must be a slow news day...

*ahem*

Well, at least no people were killed.

The Artificially Prolonged:
Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Marry me.

Z of the Na'vi:

Marry me.

I'm flattered, but I'm married to the job of making cheesy references to childhood movies on the internet.

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Perhaps it was some daring escape attempt by the sharks that was not properly thought through.

"Awright. What we do is we slam into the glass a few times over night until the glass is weaken, and then during the thickest crowd we can, we'll slam into the glass lightly, enough to smash it. Then, it's up to you guys to launch yourself as hard as possible into the customers, try to go for the head, or at least the chest. Once our captivators are dead, we'll escape."

And sadly, it didn't kill any shoppers.

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:

"Awright. What we do is we slam into the glass a few times over night until the glass is weaken, and then during the thickest crowd we can, we'll slam into the glass lightly, enough to smash it. Then, it's up to you guys to launch yourself as hard as possible into the customers, try to go for the head, or at least the chest. Once our captivators are dead, we'll escape."

And sadly, it didn't kill any shoppers.

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Meanwhile in the ocean...

Shark Jnr: "Mother when's daddy coming home?"
Mother Shark: "Oh dear sweetheart, I'm afraid daddy is... sleeping with the fishes now"
Shark Jnr: "Oh, so he'll home real soon then?"
Mother Shark: "No I mean he's... he sleeps in the big ocean in the sky"
Shark Jnr: "So... you mean he's...*sniff*...dead?"
Mother Shark: "I'm sorry Junior"
Shark Jnr: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I swear I'll revenge you father! I will hunt down and kill everyone of those two legged land fish they call man!
Mother Shark: "Don't you think you are being rash here Junior?"
Shark Jnr: "Damn it mother stop calling me Junior! Call by my father's name... Jaws."

*cut to black*

I do feel bad for the sharks, especially since the people just stood there and took pictures instead of picking them up and rushing them to the nearest fishtank.

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Meanwhile in the ocean...

Shark Jnr: "Mother when's daddy coming home?"
Mother Shark: "Oh dear sweetheart, I'm afraid daddy is... sleeping with the fishes now"
Shark Jnr: "Oh, so he'll home real soon then?"
Mother Shark: "No I mean he's... he sleeps in the big ocean in the sky"
Shark Jnr: "So... you mean he's...*sniff*...dead?"
Mother Shark: "I'm sorry Junior"
Shark Jnr: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I swear I'll revenge you father! I will hunt down and kill everyone of those two legged land fish they call man!
Mother Shark: "Don't you think you are being rash here Junior?"
Shark Jnr: "Damn it mother stop calling me Junior! Call by my father's name... Jaws."

*cut to black*

5 minuites after the incident.
in the ocean.

shark sergent: we have to abort the rescue mission, sharks!
image

shark sergent: they attempted to break out of the POW camp without our help. they were all killed in action.
shark soldier 1: SHARkdamn hell!
shark sergent: get yourself together soldier! they didnt wait until we gave them the signal. we did the best we could.
shark soldier 2: goddamn rookies.
shark sergent: this is a bad day. but i dont want anyone of you going on a revenge rampage, zapping humans with your lasers. stay calm. we will avenge them when day s comes....

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:

"Awright. What we do is we slam into the glass a few times over night until the glass is weaken, and then during the thickest crowd we can, we'll slam into the glass lightly, enough to smash it. Then, it's up to you guys to launch yourself as hard as possible into the customers, try to go for the head, or at least the chest. Once our captivators are dead, we'll escape."

And sadly, it didn't kill any shoppers.

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Shark 3: Damit guys what... the $&@!... The tank was heaven we... got free food and...

Akisa:

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Shark 3: Damit guys what... the $&@!... The tank was heaven we... got free food and...

Shark 4: Oh, so you're happy to spend the rest of your life behind a wall just for a few meals? Some shark you are! Back home, before all this, I was an actor! I was the greatest shark actor of all time! My movies bridged the gap between Tiger and Hammerhead! What were you? Some chum-factory chump?

I actually feel sorry for the lemon sharks. Doesn't make the comedy-gold that's still going in this thread any less funny though.

Look at those arse holes just snapping pics of the poor sharks, THEY NOT SELL BATH TUBS IN THAT SWANKY MALL, THEY NOT SELL EVIAN AND SALT!?! DO SOOOOOOOOOOOMETHIIIIIIING!!!

well the dutchwebsite refrred to this dutch commercial made in 1999 (for the dutch yellow pages) very relevent >.<

When in doubt blame the cleaners >.>

Amethyst Wind:

Akisa:

Riobux:

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Shark 3: Damit guys what... the $&@!... The tank was heaven we... got free food and...

Shark 4: Oh, so you're happy to spend the rest of your life behind a wall just for a few meals? Some shark you are! Back home, before all this, I was an actor! I was the greatest shark actor of all time! My movies bridged the gap between Tiger and Hammerhead! What were you? Some chum-factory chump?

Shark 3: I never wanted to be a chum-factory chump. I've always hated it. All my life I've only wanted one thing. To be.... A lumberjack!

Chairman Miaow:
Shark 3: I never wanted to be a chum-factory chump. I've always hated it. All my life I've only wanted one thing. To be.... A lumberjack!

I think this thread has now officially jumped the shark.

...

Thank you ladies and gentlemen and good night.

Chairman Miaow:

Amethyst Wind:

Akisa:

Shark 3: Damit guys what... the $&@!... The tank was heaven we... got free food and...

Shark 4: Oh, so you're happy to spend the rest of your life behind a wall just for a few meals? Some shark you are! Back home, before all this, I was an actor! I was the greatest shark actor of all time! My movies bridged the gap between Tiger and Hammerhead! What were you? Some chum-factory chump?

Shark 3: I never wanted to be a chum-factory chump. I've always hated it. All my life I've only wanted one thing. To be.... A lumberjack!

Shark 4: Well of course you never followed your dream. You obviously never found the right...

Amethyst Wind:

Chairman Miaow:

Amethyst Wind:

Shark 4: Oh, so you're happy to spend the rest of your life behind a wall just for a few meals? Some shark you are! Back home, before all this, I was an actor! I was the greatest shark actor of all time! My movies bridged the gap between Tiger and Hammerhead! What were you? Some chum-factory chump?

Shark 3: I never wanted to be a chum-factory chump. I've always hated it. All my life I've only wanted one thing. To be.... A lumberjack!

Shark 4: Well of course you never followed your dream. You obviously never found the right...

shark 1: Where did this forth shark come from.

The Artificially Prolonged:

Riobux:

The Artificially Prolonged:

Shark 2: "but sir..."
Shark 1: "what now?"
Shark 2: "how are we supposed to breath once the tanks broken?"
Shark 1: "We've been through this before. There is enough water in here for us to flood the ground floor and move quickly back to the sea"
Shark 2: "I think you are greatly over estimating are chances"
Shark 1: "I think I'm getting sick of your negative attitude"
Shark 2: "Well there is no need to get angry"
Shark 1: "Alright then if your so smart, let's here your idea to get us out of here.
Shark 2: "Perhaps we should wait and befriend a small child who doesn't have many real friends, so that he takes pity on us and after a series of events helps us in a last minute desperate bid for freedom"
Shark 1: "That is the most stupid plan I have ever heard. Where do you get these silly notions?"
Shark 2: "Well I saw on the screen of the tv st..."
Shark 1: "Enough! We go ahead as planned"

Shark 1: My...My god...My plan...It failed...I...
Shark 2: I CAN'T BREATHE!
Shark 1: That's right...I'm sorry soldier, but a death on the battlefield is better than a death in a POW camp.
Shark 2: BUT SIR! I...I have children! I have a wife!
Shark 1: I know private, so do I. However, it is freedom or death, and we've been out-witted by the evil tyrannical dictatorship that is man. Let us...Let us just go to sleep and be free...Free forever...

Meanwhile in the ocean...

Shark Jnr: "Mother when's daddy coming home?"
Mother Shark: "Oh dear sweetheart, I'm afraid daddy is... sleeping with the fishes now"
Shark Jnr: "Oh, so he'll home real soon then?"
Mother Shark: "No I mean he's... he sleeps in the big ocean in the sky"
Shark Jnr: "So... you mean he's...*sniff*...dead?"
Mother Shark: "I'm sorry Junior"
Shark Jnr: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I swear I'll revenge you father! I will hunt down and kill everyone of those two legged land fish they call man!
Mother Shark: "Don't you think you are being rash here Junior?"
Shark Jnr: "Damn it mother stop calling me Junior! Call by my father's name... Jaws."

*cut to black*

Um... the Japanese kinda beat yea to that one, with this.... http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfhd0h_squid-girl-episode-1-who-s-up-for-a-squid-vasion-hold-on-a-squid-aren-t-you-a-compatriot-aren-t-i-ju_shortfilms#.UNzOVW9lV8M Yes yes a squid is not a shark. MEH...

Anyone else read the title and think that Cracked.com opened an aquarium dedicated to launching sharks at people?

tf2godz:

Amethyst Wind:

Chairman Miaow:
Shark 3: I never wanted to be a chum-factory chump. I've always hated it. All my life I've only wanted one thing. To be.... A lumberjack!

Shark 4: Well of course you never followed your dream. You obviously never found the right...

shark 1: Where did this forth shark come from.

Shark 4: Oh that's real nice. Doesn't know me even though we've been in the same school for years.

I wonder if someone can photoshop sharks with army helmets onto the Live Free Or Die Hard poster. It'd just be the cherry upon this cake.

Awww man. It's very sad to hear the sharks died, there my favorite animals. R.I.P my friends.

Quaxar:
Reading that article is certainly a relief. From the title I understood that somehow Cracked.com had acquired an underwater ballista and several sea predators. Not that I wouldn't put it past them...

josemlopes:
Could have been worse...

I watched all 4 minutes waiting for it to crack. Really disappointing, would not recommend.

I presume my unintentional trolling here is done

Ssounds like those shoppers needed *Sunglasses* a bigger trolley*.

*Or shopping cart, if your a Yank.

*Crap, double post think of anothe funny joke!*

You know I'm suprised (and a little disapointed) that nobody tried to *Sunglasses* coral these sharks and get them back in teir tank.

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