Microsoft Says It's On

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Microsoft Says It's On

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What is It? You'll have to wait until E3 to find out what Microsoft has in store.

"And it's on," Microsoft spokesman Major Nelson proclaims, as he sticks a timer on his blog and tells us all to wait for E3. Would you like to know what It is? So would I, and so would we all, but Major Nelson's smart enough to know that keeping his mouth shut is enough to get the guessing game going.

The near-universal assumption has been that It will be Durango - or Infinity, if you'd rather - the next-gen Xbox 720 Microsoft console that's been rumored to be on the horizon for some time now. However when Durango poked its head up previously, Microsoft whacked it down again, claiming that Xbox Live news had been taken out of context. Examples of the Durango system have appeared on Ebay, and there have been pictures, but as to whether or not the E3 announcement Major Nelson is touting - presumably Xbox-related, since Major Nelson is on the Xbox team - will in fact be the next-gen console ...

Let's face it: we know nothing more now than we did before, except that Microsoft intends to make a fairly important announcement at E3. What is It? You'll find out in June.

Source: Guardian

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I wonder how powerful it will be, (if it really is the next xbox release).

Because the current gen is getting long in the tooth.

I don't know what would annoy me more. The announcement of a new console (I'm slightly autistic, so by my very nature, I'm not often a fan of change) or that they once again tried to give massive build up to something nobody asked for/cared about.

Doclector:
give massive build up to something nobody asked for/cared about.

I've been pretty keen to find out more since the rumours first surfaced. :(

Going by this information, as well as the picture, I can only come to one conclusion:

Screensavers coming to all Xbox Live Gold Subscribers! Only 1200 microsoft points each! Buy 3 and get the Dancing Baby screensaver 20% off!

Ladies and gentlemen, put on your speculation-hats!

My guess is they've found a way to make The Matrix real.

Which would be kind of superfluous considering they'd only be marketing a super simulator inside of a super simulation...

Fasckira:

Doclector:
give massive build up to something nobody asked for/cared about.

I've been pretty keen to find out more since the rumours first surfaced. :(

That's what I'm talking about. They do this kinda thing every E3. Massive build up, disappointing actual payoff. It wouldn't be so bad, but this means it's harder to tell when they actually are planning something big and important.

Unless you mean you've been keen about the new console since rumours surfaced, which I understand. I know many people are eager for the next gen, it's just personally such change makes me nervous. Not to mention the potential cost of the upgrade...

That...that just looks like lines of code like you would see in The Matrix...

Doclector:
massive build up to something nobody asked for/cared about.

Thats Microsoft allright

Really hoping for a new console thought, I think its time for someone to step up (it will probably have some retarded features as usual)

Obviously microsoft is going to flip the switch that will make mind control tentacles come out of each 360 slim and take control of their fans, forcing them to all buy dlc or the system will red ring.

Minesweeper TWO!

XBox 8 would not surprise me. I mean, isn't their present vision to have the same interface on all their products no matter how ill-suited it may be for a particular control scheme? On the other hand, 720 would be a silly name for the next gen. Either name it 3 or give it some title that has nothing to do with numbers.

Well now... I guess...


Well THAT's a... switch

Seriously though Docelator probably got it right, Big M be fronting. I doubt a the next Xbox is in the works just yet, we'd be seeing more fronting from Sony if there was, or at least claiming a web domain or patent filling or sumthin.

Pyrian:
Minesweeper TWO!

You sir, just woke everyone in my house up.
Good job.
My face hurts from grinning...

Doclector:
-snippity-

Ah, I think a mixture of both on reflection! With regards to change, I'm not so fussed... at best its still going to be awhile I reckon before we have something to lay our hands on so should be enough time to adapt to any big updates.

It's obviously a new console.

What is it?! Is it a holodeck? Microsoft Space Exploration and Colonization Division? Gravity Generator? Terraforming Machine?
"Xbox 720."
Will it have a good Harvest Moon game?
"No."
Pass.

Ed130:
I wonder how powerful it will be, (if it really is the next xbox release).

Because the current gen is getting long in the tooth.

If it isn't the next generation console, then they are shooting themselves in the foot at this point. They don't need to release it for a year or two, but at least show the damn thing.

Can it fit more ads into boxes on the screen? That's the most important part.

Kind of excited for the new Xbox, so if it turns out they aren't announcing it then I'll be very disappointed.

And if they screw it up, which lets be honest, for Microsoft, there's a good possibility of that happening given MS's recent track record, then I'll be even more disappointed.

"We are announcing that in the future, we will have an announcement."

/fail Did... did this really merit an article? From anyone? Contributing to the hype machine is bad enough but to hype nothing at all? Wow. Faith in Humanity -1

Meh. I would love it if the new Xbox was a powerhouse comparable to gaming PCs, but we all know that won't happen. My guess is that it'll be comparable to what an average PC would be a couple of years ago. It'll still be overpriced of course.

"And it's on. Oh, wait... Let me plug in the HDMI cable... Change the setting on the TV... Yeah, it's on! Hang on. Is there supposed to be that red light around the power button...?"

Seriously? A short, vague statement, and a countdown clock? That's your big attention-getter, big M?

Microsoft marketing meeting, dated December 28, 2012. Names and titles redacted to protect the incompetant.

"And the last item on the agenda: How can we make E3 relevant again?"

"Introduce a new console?"

"Nahhh, Nintendo did that last year and we don't want to put pressure on R&D."

"Revive an old IP?"

"Nahhh, everybody does that."

"Realize that we're better off sinking our money into other forms of advertising?"

"Oh please, can we knock it off with the doomsaying?"

"The critics have figured it out. Hell, the public has figured it out. E3 has lost its market. We might as well just tack on a tech promo at the annual shareholders' meeting and have a media blitz each quarter. It's cheaper and has better targeted return."

"We've already committed to the outlay and besides, we'd look like shits if we backed out of the event now."

"Um...we could make an obscure reference to the event that we can say was taken out of context?"

"Now THAT works! Low cost and it doesn't do anything to our reputation that hasn't happened already."

"Sure, and we could use a countdown clock because our fanbase loves watching numbers move backwards."

"Super idea!"

"Uh, wait."

"Builds anticipation, gets the public excited again, makes them think they've discovered something when they figure out the clock hits zero on E3. I love it!"

"Oh, it is on now."

"Perfect catchphrase! We'll use that. All those in favour?"

"All opposed?"

"Motion carries. Okay, get Larry on the horn. We've got to have him put out the word. If we use a press release, we'll give the game away. Good meeting, people. See you next year!"

DustyDrB:
Can it fit more ads into boxes on the screen? That's the most important part.

Even better, they'll have the ads pop up in front of you and you have to use the Kinect to swipe them away! Wave of the future! And it will only cost one arm, your pancreas, and the life of your second born child seeing as your first child was most likely sold so as to buy DLC and Online Passes.

OT: Well if it isn't the next console then Microsoft has lost even more brain cells, which is an accomplishment all it's own since I thought they'd lost close to all of them. Really I find myself becoming more disillusioned with consoles as they just get more and more expensive and the games I actually like seem to be becoming even scarcer as more companies would rather make "Generic Gritty Brown Filter Shooter 34, Now with Gray!" than other genres like platformers. Really the only console that I'd actually get in this console generation seems to be the Wii U and I'm still debating on whether to get it.

Neronium:

DustyDrB:
Can it fit more ads into boxes on the screen? That's the most important part.

Even better, they'll have the ads pop up in front of you and you have to use the Kinect to swipe them away! Wave of the future!

Don't know if that pun was intended or not, but it was genius nonetheless.

You mean at this E3 we WON'T be getting shown the Kinect again? But I wanted to see it for the fourth time :C

Living Contradiction:
Microsoft marketing meeting, dated December 28, 2012. Names and titles redacted to protect the incompetant.

"And the last item on the agenda: How can we make E3 relevant again?"

"Introduce a new console?"

"Nahhh, Nintendo did that last year and we don't want to put pressure on R&D."

"Revive an old IP?"

"Nahhh, everybody does that."

"Realize that we're better off sinking our money into other forms of advertising?"

"Oh please, can we knock it off with the doomsaying?"

"The critics have figured it out. Hell, the public has figured it out. E3 has lost its market. We might as well just tack on a tech promo at the annual shareholders' meeting and have a media blitz each quarter. It's cheaper and has better targeted return."

"We've already committed to the outlay and besides, we'd look like shits if we backed out of the event now."

"Um...we could make an obscure reference to the event that we can say was taken out of context?"

"Now THAT works! Low cost and it doesn't do anything to our reputation that hasn't happened already."

"Sure, and we could use a countdown clock because our fanbase loves watching numbers move backwards."

"Super idea!"

"Uh, wait."

"Builds anticipation, gets the public excited again, makes them think they've discovered something when they figure out the clock hits zero on E3. I love it!"

"Oh, it is on now."

"Perfect catchphrase! We'll use that. All those in favour?"

"All opposed?"

"Motion carries. Okay, get Larry on the horn. We've got to have him put out the word. If we use a press release, we'll give the game away. Good meeting, people. See you next year!"

hahahah, this is epically awesome and probably not far from the truth! lolz.

OT: I'm sure it is a new console announcement, but where I seem to disagree with EVERYONE is when the console will be released. Traditionally, consoles are announced 2 E3's before their release; that would be the NextBox being released in 2014. However, Microsoft has done some crazy things, like releasing that slim (or was it an updated slim? w/e...) and announcing the release... the day it was going to happen, or something like that. Still, I'm betting on a 2014 release.

MicroSoft says It's On?

No sex for a week then...

Soooo, they'll be announcing Kinect motion+ then?

Me55enger:
MicroSoft says It's On?

No sex for a week then...

O.o

I think you may have brought new meaning to the phrase red ring of death.

Mcoffey:
Going by this information, as well as the picture, I can only come to one conclusion:

Screensavers coming to all Xbox Live Gold Subscribers! Only 1200 microsoft points each! Buy 3 and get the Dancing Baby screensaver 20% off!

This depresses me but would not at all surprise me...My guess is the announcement of Xbox Live Platinum! A paid subscription service similar to PSN+ in that you get discounted and free downloads from XBLA. It's going to cost more than XBLG obviously and I lost the thread of this joke blah...

---

Maybe they're going to announce some new, X-360 exclusive IPs including the much anticipated Killer Instinct 3 and, The Fable of Rare vs Spartans featuring Shepard (since that's about as close to a mascot fighter as they're going to get).

If this turns out to be Durango or X720 or whatever they decide to call the new console (if it's just Xbox I'm going to be very disappointed) then hopefully the features won't be too infuriating...like if they make it so you can't play used games and/or if they require you to use Kinect (be it original, 2.0 or, Cool Ranch) then they can take and shove it.

I'm calling it now, Microsoft is powering up an orbital doom laser that will be fully charged and fire at the end of the countdown. Why? Because they really couldn't decide what else to do with all that money, so they become villains.

Z of the Na'vi:
That...that just looks like lines of code like you would see in The Matrix...

With an extremely-fitting Applejack avatar to match!

If it is a new console, the whole "It's on" thing would be very fitting to the challenge that the Wii U guy proposed a while back.

Captcha: "Time will Tell". Three captchas in a row thus far that are relevant to my own comments. This is getting flat-out bizarre.

It's official, MS has found a way to suck more money from us!

I have no idea what they're announcing. Maybe they'll redeem themselves for being general assholes to PC gamers?

*Remembers GFWL*

Never mind...

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