White House Rejects Death Star Petition

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White House Rejects Death Star Petition

image

The U.S. government says this isn't the petition response you're looking for.

Back in December, an enterprising individual launched an official petition to the White House calling on it to "secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016." The massive effort to build the "space superiority platform and weapon system," the petition said, would "spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration and more," and of course give us a Death Star, which I think we can all agree is a pretty cool benefit in and of itself.

The Death Star petition notched up over 34,000 signatures in 30 days, which under the official "terms of participation" meant that an official response must be given. The good news is that the response has finally been delivered, but the bad news is that "a Death Star isn't on the horizon."

Among the reasons for rejecting the petition are the cost - an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000 - as well as one or two inherent design flaws and an Administration policy against blowing up planets. The White House also pointed out that we already have the International Space Station floating above the planet, plus two rovers on Mars and, even though they can't do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, a pair of spacecraft about to venture beyond the boundaries of the solar system.

"We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things," Paul Shawcross, chief of the White House Science and Space Branch, wrote. "If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

I'm not sure I agree - hokey religions are no match for an ultimate weapon in orbit, after all - but I like the response. And hey, if we can't bring the galaxy to its knees before our Imperial might, I suppose studying it isn't a terrible second choice.

Source: The White House

Permalink

I find their lack of faith (in building the Death Star) disturbing.

I don't care for the White House's response to our request. They seem not to be taking us seriously, which is a big problem for an administration. This is especially worrying, since this project is strictly concerned with the defense of American citizens and not a laughing matter.

Moreover, they seem to be lying right to our face. This administration is clearly not interested in reducing the deficit (basic math skills will tell you that) and this administration was the one which shut down our space program. I'm also uncomfortable with their support of any religion, including the "Force".

The only thing they could do now to improve my opinion of them would be to stop JJ Abrams from making another Star Trek movie...

I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of nerd boners cried out in terror and were suddenly wilted.
If we had sent this to Bush, he would have built it in the actual moon.

5 says the Chinese have already started making theirs except theirs will be red so it shoots faster.

This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

I agree, the Death Star hasn't proven to be a good investion.
Now a Stardestroyer on the other hand...

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

image

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

Perhaps it's just nice to know the people in charge aren't political robots and actually have a sense of humor? Maybe it's just because people take life far to seriously sometimes, hell they could have just replied with "No go away." Just because one silly petition goes through, doesn't suddenly make it so that EVARY PERTISHUN ERVAR is now going to be ridiculous or lose all meaning.

I'm not sure which I like better: the White House going along with the joke, or treating it completely series (i.e. "your request for a 'Death Star' has been respectfully declined").

Andy Chalk:
and of course give us a Death Star, which I think we can all agree is a pretty cool benefit in and of itself.

yes, we need one of those automated doomsday machine like those commies.
image
nothing can go wrong with this plan...

i am impressed that no one said "those yanks must indeed think they live on another planet"

I think that this needs a Kickstarter. I don't suppose any of you have a couple of trillions just lying around do you?

Andy Chalk:
"If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Props for being fun with the rejection. We need more people like that in this world.

Mumorpuger:
and deport Piers Morgan.

Can't really blame you there, I mean if you do get the petition together and it succeeds in sending him home I am going to get one going here to try and send him right back.

Death Star petition: shot down.

Up Next: TARDIS petition.

Scars Unseen:
Death Star petition: shot down.

Up Next: TARDIS petition.

No no Star Destroyers! They are cooler than a big fat Death Star anyways.

marurder:

Scars Unseen:
Death Star petition: shot down.

Up Next: TARDIS petition.

No no Star Destroyers! They are cooler than a big fat Death Star anyways.

Whoa, now; why not start small(ish) with a petition for a ship like the Enterprise? And what's the status of the petition to replace the current legal system with Judges like Dredd?

Are signing Petitions the new cool thing to do or something?

(After the Retake Mass Erect petition they seem to be the answer for everything)

2fish:

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

image

GW never really quantified exactly how big their stuff is supposed to be, and authors are all over the place in their size comparisons; some going for the super big like your picture, and some going for more reasonably sized (1-2km for the largest of the ships).

Of course, its most likely closer to that scale, but Eclipse-class super star destroyers are a good 8-10 km larger than the best estimate I can get for the Emperor-class size.

Therefore, we really need an Eclipse-class. Much more practical too, since we can use that to start colonizing stuff. The only downside is the luna-sized celestial object we would need to hallow out to get the materials.

2fish:

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

I like your idea but i'd rather someone build something a bit more plausible

Maybe we could have them someone's govt to build a Daedalus?
image
seems like it's within the the realm of possibility give the current state of out technology

Quazimofo:

2fish:

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

img snip

Words words words, and some going for more reasonably sized (1-2km for the largest of the ships).

WORDS
words. Much more practical too, since we can use that to start colonizing stuff. The only downside is words.

How dare you bring such filthy language as practical and reasonably into this thread! The Emperor supplies us with the tools you aim them. The Imperium is built upon faith not false science. Keep those dirty science words to lesser races and Star Trek.
-Inquisitor 2fish

Ok ok fair enough points but seeing as this topics has no real ground for reasonable debate as none of it exists or is possible for the current residents of earth I have but one retort.

I actually read the full statement on it because it was retweeted by someone. Pretty funny stuff actually. Someone definitely had fun with that official response.

If some of you haven't read it yet, you should go do so.

Can we at least have a Millennium Falcon?

Okay, guys. You're looking at this wrong. What if we called it "Morning Star"? Or "Rising Star"? I think the "Death" part drives people off. It doesn't have to be created with the sole purpose of destroying planets (Because, really, we only have one planet we can live in so far. Wait until we conquer more); it can be used as the most awesome space station really. Think about it: A lot of people from all over the world would be interesting in studying and getting jobs related to this, only because we have a cool Death Star--

Agh! I mean "Shining Star"!

2fish:
[quote="Mumorpuger" post="7.398507.16302669"]
Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

pick one


personally i like babylon ships the most.

You lot make the Death Star- we'll rustle up a squad of X-wings... and we'll meet you at Yavin.

No, they are actually making it. They are just doing it in secret.

Perhaps they'll have better luck if they petition for something that doesn't have a history of blowing up. :D

Rogue 09:
I don't care for the White House's response to our request. They seem not to be taking us seriously, which is a big problem for an administration. This is especially worrying, since this project is strictly concerned with the defense of American citizens and not a laughing matter.

Dude, I can't even take you seriously and I'm one of the same "fanboy community" that came up with this nonsense! Build a massive orbital weapons platform that'd cost as much as the planet, probably not even be scientifically feasible and would have a billion and one things that could go wrong with it, just because it would be cool? Why the hell would you want a massive orbital defence platform anyway? So America can take over the world as "divine right" dictates? You know manifest destiny went out of fashion years ago, right?

Just because a petition gets tens of thousands of signatures doesn't mean it's not a crackpot idea. You should be happy they replied with as much good humour as they did.

Arcane Azmadi:

Rogue 09:
I don't care for the White House's response to our request. They seem not to be taking us seriously, which is a big problem for an administration. This is especially worrying, since this project is strictly concerned with the defense of American citizens and not a laughing matter.

Dude, I can't even take you seriously and I'm one of the same "fanboy community" that came up with this nonsense! Build a massive orbital weapons platform that'd cost as much as the planet, probably not even be scientifically feasible and would have a billion and one things that could go wrong with it, just because it would be cool? Why the hell would you want a massive orbital defence platform anyway? So America can take over the world as "divine right" dictates? You know manifest destiny went out of fashion years ago, right?

Just because a petition gets tens of thousands of signatures doesn't mean it's not a crackpot idea. You should be happy they replied with as much good humour as they did.

I think Rouge 09 was joking...

Arcane Azmadi:

Rogue 09:
I don't care for the White House's response to our request. They seem not to be taking us seriously, which is a big problem for an administration. This is especially worrying, since this project is strictly concerned with the defense of American citizens and not a laughing matter.

Dude, I can't even take you seriously and I'm one of the same "fanboy community" that came up with this nonsense! Build a massive orbital weapons platform that'd cost as much as the planet, probably not even be scientifically feasible and would have a billion and one things that could go wrong with it, just because it would be cool? Why the hell would you want a massive orbital defence platform anyway? So America can take over the world as "divine right" dictates? You know manifest destiny went out of fashion years ago, right?

Just because a petition gets tens of thousands of signatures doesn't mean it's not a crackpot idea. You should be happy they replied with as much good humour as they did.

As if we needed more proof that certain Escapists can't take a bloody joke.

OhJohnNo:

Arcane Azmadi:

Rogue 09:
I don't care for the White House's response to our request. They seem not to be taking us seriously, which is a big problem for an administration. This is especially worrying, since this project is strictly concerned with the defense of American citizens and not a laughing matter.

Dude, I can't even take you seriously and I'm one of the same "fanboy community" that came up with this nonsense! Build a massive orbital weapons platform that'd cost as much as the planet, probably not even be scientifically feasible and would have a billion and one things that could go wrong with it, just because it would be cool? Why the hell would you want a massive orbital defence platform anyway? So America can take over the world as "divine right" dictates? You know manifest destiny went out of fashion years ago, right?

Just because a petition gets tens of thousands of signatures doesn't mean it's not a crackpot idea. You should be happy they replied with as much good humour as they did.

As if we needed more proof that certain Escapists can't take a bloody joke.

Even though I realised it was a joke as well, the sad fact it, some people can actually be stupid enough to say things like that and not be joking. It's not always so easy to tell on the internet.

A deathstar might not be the best idea; however, I do think making a large ship or planet openly hospitable isn't a bad idea.

Quazimofo:

2fish:

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.

image

GW never really quantified exactly how big their stuff is supposed to be, and authors are all over the place in their size comparisons; some going for the super big like your picture, and some going for more reasonably sized (1-2km for the largest of the ships).

Of course, its most likely closer to that scale, but Eclipse-class super star destroyers are a good 8-10 km larger than the best estimate I can get for the Emperor-class size.

Therefore, we really need an Eclipse-class. Much more practical too, since we can use that to start colonizing stuff. The only downside is the luna-sized celestial object we would need to hallow out to get the materials.

An eclipse-class? Meh, they are far too small. What we need is one of these

Elate:

Mumorpuger:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.

Perhaps it's just nice to know the people in charge aren't political robots and actually have a sense of humor? Maybe it's just because people take life far to seriously sometimes, hell they could have just replied with "No go away." Just because one silly petition goes through, doesn't suddenly make it so that EVARY PERTISHUN ERVAR is now going to be ridiculous or lose all meaning.

THANK-YOU!!!

It's a JOKE! People were just having a giggle and, in all fairness and to their credit, the White House responded in good humour. They also added a little suggestion that people study such topics as science and engineering, so if this little aside actually results in M.I.T producing more boffins then it will have had a positive impact, too!

Lighten up, people!

CAPTCHA: "Cool Heads Prevail" - Well, quite!

I agree America. Let's focus on getting our own X-wings first before deploying something so valuable and vulnerable. With our own X-wings, we can shoot down any enterprising rebel scum terrorists out to get us.

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