Open Source Death Star Kickstarter Might Actually Work

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Open Source Death Star Kickstarter Might Actually Work

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The U.S. government refuses to build a Death Star, so the internet is taking it to Kickstarter.

Back in January, the U.S. government said "thanks but no thanks" to a petition calling upon it to begin construction of a Death Star. Exorbitant cost notwithstanding, the Obama Administration apparently has a policy of not blowing up other planets. But while that may have been the end of the matter a few years ago, this is the era of empowered consumers, and that means it's time to do some crowdfunding!

The Open Souce Death Star Kickstarter has a goal of 20,000,000 - that's a little over $31 million - and before you ask, no, that's not actually the construction budget. The initial goal will fund the development of more detailed construction plans (a preliminary design is up on the Kickstarter page) and the cost of some chicken wire to cover the exhaust port; the first (and only) stretch goal of 543,000,000,000,000,00 ($850,000,000,000,000,000) will cover the full expense of building the thing. To keep costs as low as possible, the entire project will make use of open source hardware and software.

The only real risk to the Kickstarter, according to its creator, is the power of the Force, while the primary challenge is to ensure everyone knows that this is actually a joke. To get that point across, the funding goal has been set high enough to make success "almost impossible." Almost.

As amusing as this Kickstarter is, what makes it really interesting is that people seem determined to actually make it happen. Several comments point out that it's easy to donate the maximum of 5000 because the money isn't taken unless and until the Kickstarter is successful, and at that rate only 4000 backers are needed to push it over the top. At last check the Open Source Death Star Kickstarter had attracted a little shy of 200,000 in three days and had 52 days left on the clock.

Can it happen? Will it happen? What happens if it does? Failure is likely but the dream of success is tantalizing - and don't forget that a man once asked, "What good are snub fighters going to be against that?" We all know how that worked out.

Source: Kickstarter

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At least we won't have the blood of many Bothan spies on our hands to get these blue prints.

I don't know... even if it is a joke I'd feel paranoid about having thousands of dollars from my checking account connected to this >.>

Somebody needs to call the world's craziest millionaires and billionaires. We need their help.

Man, all this talk about monetary cost is entirely missing the point. There simply aren't enough raw materials on the planet Earth to build the Death Star.

I wonder what brand of paint thinner these people are huffing. Even if this was possible am I the only one who thinks it is a fucken stupid idea being as we only actually have 1 planet that we can/do live on?

they already have 191,745.

who the fuck does that?

If this actually gets anywhere, we may need to start a counter-kickstarter designed to produce a heavily modified YT-1300 Light Freighter and a few squadrons of X-Wings that can be sent on a mission to destroy it should it be used for nefarious purposes.

If I were to fund this, and the likelihood is on the extreme end of "not very", I would only do so in exchange for a hyper-capable TIE-Fighter which would have to be fully developed (probably crowdfunded too). Also I don't know if I'd trust anyone with this project anyway, too much power to sit in one Grand Moff's hands...

I'm a bit frightened that it's supposed to be all open source. Does that mean the Death Star will use Linux?

sudo blowupalderaan

It's no coincidence the Kickstarter is in the British currency; LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE! *imperial march plays*

Lvl 64 Klutz:
Man, all this talk about monetary cost is entirely missing the point. There simply aren't enough raw materials on the planet Earth to build the Death Star.

And that's why we start mining other planets/moons/asteroids. That's part of the cost.

rhizhim:
they already have 191,745.

who the fuck does that?

People who casually promise $5000 each, knowing that they won't have to pay anyways.

Maybe they would have more success if they called it a "Peace Moon".

Space Jawa:
If this actually gets anywhere, we may need to start a counter-kickstarter designed to produce a heavily modified YT-1300 Light Freighter and a few squadrons of X-Wings that can be sent on a mission to destroy it should it be used for nefarious purposes.

We also need Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford to be their training pilots.

When countries are going bankrupt, I just can't stand for people actually putting money to this idea. It will seriously never happen with today's technology, so unless the kickstarter is to invent turbolasers and gravity panels and ion propulsion, money towards completing a blueprint is pointless.

Space Jawa:
If this actually gets anywhere, we may need to start a counter-kickstarter designed to produce a heavily modified YT-1300 Light Freighter and a few squadrons of X-Wings that can be sent on a mission to destroy it should it be used for nefarious purposes.

We might also need to start to train shooting womp rats in our T-16s and hope they forget to fix that one flaw.

Even if we had enough money for it, we don't have the resources. The amount of steel it would take certainly doesn't exist on earth, and since we have even tried to mine an asteroid yet, it seems like that would be out of the question for at least a few more years or decades.

I can't believe someone was dumb enough to donate to that. Even if it is a joke and it will never reach it's goal it's still horrible that they managed to get more than $200,000. They should donate all the money to a charity.

This is nice and all, but all the assumptions hit the same problem. The T206 Honus Wagner Base Ball card is worth about 2.8 million dollars. Lets say someone found out how they could rule the world if they could collect 500 of them. so 2.8 * 500 right? No, first, as you start buying the cards up the value of the remaining ones will greatly increase. Second, only 60 to 200 cards were ever distributed so it doesn't matter how much money you have, you can never reach 500.

You'd need a planet cracking super laser to get the materials needed for a death star.

Well...if this thing *Does* go through, at least there'll be a lot of new job openings.

Adam Jensen:
I can't believe someone was dumb enough to donate to that. Even if it is a joke and it will never reach it's goal it's still horrible that they managed to get more than $200,000. They should donate all the money to a charity.

The money is returned if it isn't fully funded, and if it is funded, we probably get a whole lot of legal funs with it. I'm looking forward to it.

This is stupid. The Death Star is impossible to construct with our current technology, if it's possible at all. And if they did build it, they'd run afoul of the same laws that prevent private companies from building nuclear weapons. I have no idea what they plan on doing with that money if they meet their goal.

Rellik San:
It's no coincidence the Kickstarter is in the British currency; LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE! *imperial march plays*

Indeed.

Lvl 64 Klutz:
Man, all this talk about monetary cost is entirely missing the point. There simply aren't enough raw materials on the planet Earth to build the Death Star.

Exactly, we would have to build a fleet of miners to strip the asteroid belt. oh and build it a safe distance away so the gravity doesn't effect earth. The US responce to the partition was funny, this is just silly.

Are these the same people who read 50 Shades of whatever and line up outside Apple stores?
What a useless campaign for something with no use at all... then again, I am sure this has ever happened before :-P

Lvl 64 Klutz:
There simply aren't enough raw materials on the planet Earth to build the Death Star.

There are other planets.

blalien:
I have no idea what they plan on doing with that money if they meet their goal.

Draw up some slightly more advanced blueprints to satisfy the contract, then retire to an island paradise with a bevy of concubines?

Adam Jensen:
I can't believe someone was dumb enough to donate to that. Even if it is a joke and it will never reach it's goal it's still horrible that they managed to get more than $200,000. They should donate all the money to a charity.

Uh, they don't get any money, unless it reaches its goal, which it probably won't. If it does, then we can talk about donating to charity/bevies of concubines.

I know that people who donate have too much money and not enough sense... but if you want to get rid of your money so bad why not donate to charity? At least then you know its going to something good as opposed to whatever these guy eventually decide to do with the cash.

This isn't happening. The Death Star is the size of a moon and made out of metal. I don't know if that much metal even exists on Earth. It also blew up plants. Not even with all the nuclear bomb on Earth could we scratch the Earth. That laser is impossible.

Go home Star Wars fans, you're drunk.

Sometimes a joke stops being funny. This just stopped being funny.

I want this to happen for the pure joy of that it will get the Star Trek nerds off their asses and get us Warp drives

-M

The Goat Tsar:
Somebody needs to call the world's craziest millionaires and billionaires. We need their help.

We already asked them, they're too busy funding jet packs for their poodles.

If they raise the 543,000,000,000,000,00, then they should just fuck the Death Star and donate to some African charities.
Deceptive charitability. It's the future.

MrGalactus:
If they raise the 543,000,000,000,000,00, then they should just fuck the Death Star and donate to some African charities.
Deceptive charitability. It's the future.

I'm thinking 54 quadrilion is a bit more than charities could handle.
Is there even that much money in the world.

But seriously, why did they set the time for it to be funded so long. Yeah ok it's a joke, set the funding time limit to a week, any longer and people will forget about it anyway.

baconsarnie:

MrGalactus:
If they raise the 543,000,000,000,000,00, then they should just fuck the Death Star and donate to some African charities.
Deceptive charitability. It's the future.

I'm thinking 54 quadrilion is a bit more than charities could handle.
Is there even that much money in the world.

But seriously, why did they set the time for it to be funded so long. Yeah ok it's a joke, set the funding time limit to a week, any longer and people will forget about it anyway.

Well, according to Wikipedia the GDP of the entire world is $70 Trillion, so we're probably pretty far off. Maybe.
I don't economics.
Oh, but charities should totally have a majority of the money on Earth. Sounds like a nice balance of power to me.

You know that wonderfully illogical part of your brain that clings on to the tiniest, most unlikely, outlandish shred of hope it can possibly find? That's probably why they're letting it go on for so long.

P.S. I read everything you typed in Christopher Lee's voice.

Apple spends more than 10 times this designing ipods xD

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